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12:38:00 AM EDT
Hearing A&E: The First 48
Where Have I Been? In The Moment, Baby.
I've been here at least a dozen times attempting to write. I stare at the blank page (which usually inspires me), and then stare some more, and then finally just X out of it. I get here and just don't know what to say.
There have been some good things going on recently (don't ask me when, exactly, as I can't remember precisely). I got visits from my best friend from high school, Beth, and my friends Soosin and Nicki came up one evening, and I went to a soccer practice with my friend Kathy because her son, Emmett, was kickin' the ball around literally right around the corner from my house.
I was gonna go to the opening game yesterday but it was Ma's birthday. I hadn't forgotten it, I had just forgotten what day it was so I had to bail on that. But I've made arrangements to go with Kathy again. She's an old friend who doesn't live very far away and is going through a lot of what I recently went through with Pop (except she's got a family on top of it) so we've tended to not spend as much time together as we probably could. Between her stuff and my stuff... But we decided to try to make a better effort...
Ma's been having trouble walking the last couple of weeks. She's not a complainer so when she does complain, I worry. We're going to the doctor's tomorrow to see what that's about.
Wednesday I finally have my follow up consultation with Dr. Turel. I'll have a list of events that have happened since I was there last. I'm looking forward to this visit because I'm hoping to garner more information. He seemed very kind and knowledgeable the last time so I hope he's able to spend some time with me in discussion.
Other than that...
Nothing. Absolutely nothing.
My state of confusion is high. My vision is bad anyway even when MS doesn't give me the blurs. I have a hard time keeping track of what day it is. And within each day I find it's suddenly night time and I have no idea where the day's gone.
The good news is that I'm not sleeping all the time. My fatigue is still a daily shadow but I don't need to actually sleep as much as I was. However, I just don't really know what I'm doing instead of sleeping. The days just seem to be passing by at a great speed. Full of nothingness.
So what does April hold for y'all here at The Edge of Dementia?
I have no idea.
I think we're gonna have to just wait and see.
I'm on a quest to discover what yet my newest new normal is. Never a dull moment. Wish I could remember most of it.
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You are alive! I was beginnng to be concerned big time. It's good to hear from you even if you have not been exactly normal. I will be interested to see what the doctor says. Hope your Mom does not have anything too serious except old age creeping in. Guess it is possible for you to go a week or so now without posting now that you have explained how things are coming down for you right now. Gerry
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Hi MJ
Sorry to hear about your Mom.
That has suddenly happened to my Mom.
I used to think her walking was bad and worried.
But suddenly it's gotten so she can hardly get around.
Dr. referred her to neurologist...
He said possible Parkinson's but I don't know.
She doesn't tremble or anything like that, it;s her walking.
She's 90, couldn't it just be old age?
The appointment is next week and I don't know how I will get her in and out of the car,
or even into the Dr. Office.
She wants to die and is so sad.
Then there's my Dad.
Also my special needs sister...between all the worry,
I feel I am going to have a break down.
OR maybe I already have. lol (not really laughing)
Take care.
Love,
Donna -
"in the moment" sounds like a good, healthy place to be. missed you
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MJ, there you are hon, been missing you, hope your Ma will be ok, Love Ya Lisa XO
4/10/08 11:54 AM
Hang in there, Leigh