my 26 best friends

Seven wishes to change the world.

It's going to be another hot August day tomorrow. Some of you have already made beach plans. I may go, too. Let's say I do. Let's say I decide to take a long walk on the hard wet sand near water's edge. And let's say I come across an old lamp washed upon the shore. I pick up the lamp. I begin rubbing the sand off it. Suddenly I hear a voice from the lamp, a deep male voice with the distinct Middle Eastern accent. Alladdin's Lamp? I smile at the thought. But The Voice brings me up short.

"Do not laugh. You have found Alladdin's Lamp. You have rubbed the lamp. You are granted seven wishes."

I know it's a joke. But I did find the lamp. So I tuck it under my arm and head for the car.

I don't take three steps before The Voice says - angrily - "THIS IS NO JOKE," in deep, stentorian tones.

"It read my mind," I thought to yourself. "I'm sorry, sir," I said to the lamp. I did feel a little silly about it though.

"DO NOT LET IT HAPPEN AGAIN," The Voice booms back. "I repeat. You have seven wishes. They can not be trifling wishes like more money or a plane ticket to London or an immediate cure of your cancer. They must be wishes for seven changes in the world - any change you choose - to make the world a better place to live. You have exactly seven minutes to name the changes and say why you're making them.

Fortunately for me, the lamp and I were at the far end of the beach. There were no bathers, no people at all. I was glad I didn't have to explain this to anybody.

So far, the lamp made sense. "Oh, what the hell," I reasoned, "It couldn't hurt."

I didn't have much time. Seven changes to make a better world...and why....in seven minutes "Think, damn it, think" I said to yourself. "Think fast!"

I held the lamp like a microphone and talked into it. "Number one. I wish to eliminate television around the world forever."

I waited for a response from the lamp. No response. "He bought it, "I whispered to myself.

Then the lamp speaks: "Why?"

"Oh right," I said. "I forgot. Sorry."

And time's a-wasting.

"Why eliminate television in the world? Because television is dumbing down the planet. People are not reading books any more. The average American spends five hours a day watching television. Five hours! That's time away from studying, from sharing with friends and family, from being outside in the healthy air, playing, exercising, being an active participater in life instead of just a watcher. Television is written and produced for the lowest common denominator. Most TV shows are aimed at people with IQ's in the 80's and 90's. Many shows show graphic scenes of violence and mayhem. The so-called "sit-coms" are just replays of hundreds of old scripts interrupted often by canned laughter and applause. The "news" commentary is just a reading of the first few paragraphs from today's newspapers. You invite friends over for dinner and can't wait for the dessert to bring out the TV tables and watch some dumb cop show.  Even Shakespearian plays and important news events are interrupted by three or four minutes of advertising messages with their sound increased 40%! Keep PBS. But take all other TV off the air.

"Number two: I wish to eliminate all advertising in the world." "Why? Because advertising is a capitalist tool. Advertising tells people lies about products and services so that people will buy them. Advertising sells things to people people don't need. Advertising makes poor people without any chance of buying a new car, a beautiful new dress or land in Wyoming or a new pair of shoes envious and jealous of those who can afford it. Advertising widens the gulf between the haves and the have-nots in this country. A gulf that gets wider every day of the year. And advertising costs billions of dollars a year. One 30-second commercial on the Super Bowl "show" costs 400 million dollars! Imagine what UNICEF could do with money like that for the children of the world."

I didn't wait for a response or reaction from the lamp. I was watching my watch.

"Number three. "I wish to eliminate all automobiles in the world powered by the internal combustion engine. You - whoever "you" are -- know all the reasons why. The tens of thousands of tons of carbon and carbon dioxide pollutants poured into the atmostphere every day by two billion cars and trucks around the world. The horror of global warming and the real chance that the ice caps at the poles will melt and the oceans will rise and wipe out seacoast cities like New York City, San Francisco, Rio de Janiero, Sydney, Hamburg, Leningrad, Shanghai and so many others. The terrible, ugly and lung-killing smog that settles on so many urban areas around the world. The 50,000 people who die in automobile accidents in the United States alone each year. The 200,000 seriously wounded each year. The soon-to-be prohibitive cost of auto insurance. Our dependence on oil as an energy source needs to be ended NOW. Without cars, we do away with a need for gasoline and oil to lubricate the cars engines. Which brings me to the next wish."

"Number four. I wish to eliminate all oil-powered electric plants and all oil products in the world -- including plastic.

In the movie, THE GRADUATE", a businessman counselled a young college graduate (Dustin Hoffman) with one word of advice: "plastics." Indeed, plastics have been important. But plastics are made from oil. No more plastics. Oil is dirty, oil when burned becomes harmful to our air, our climate, our health and the health of our planet. Oil must go. Now. Replacing oil as an energy source will be electricity (electric cars are a reality today, their costs are coming down as we speak). What we're spending for gas and oil we will now spend for wind machines, geo-thermal power, solar energy and energy sources we haven't even thought of yet."

"What would replace plastic? The oldest building block of all. Wood. We could plant billions of fast-growing eucalyptus trees around the world. The trees would be planted near rivers and streams to keep the fresh water on the ground. The trees would absorb the carbon dioxide in the air, filter the air, provide shade for workers and after six or seven years of growth, lumber for builders around the world. Plastic is not bio-degradable. Our landfills are clogged up with millions of tons of plastic throwaways. Wood is biodegradable. And wood has always looked so much better than plastic.

"Number five", I said with my strongest voice. Then I breathed in deeply with my nose (smelled the roses) and exhaled (blew out the candle) with my mouth and said...." I wish to destroy every rifle and handgun in the world.
Why? Because guns kill people and animals. That's why they are made. First, rifles. Most rifles today are used to kill our brother animals: elegant male and female deer, moose, bears - the most family oriented and loving of all animal species - rabbits, tigers, elephants, pheasants, eagles, ducks. We are the only animal in the mammalia family who kills other animals for no reason... for - oh God! - fun! We are also the only animal on Earth to kill its own kind! Wait, with one exception. We share that ugly truth with the hyena!

"There are 100,000,000 (one hundred million) handguns in the United States alone. Eight thousand Americans are killed angrily or accidentally by handguns every year! Two thousand children kill each other with daddy's handgun stored not to well in the family closet. We measure the horror of gun ownership with the names of places: Columbine, West Virginia Tech, the bell tower at the University of Texas. The U.S. has one/thirtieth of the population of the world and owns one half of all the world's handguns;. Does that mean Americans are frightened, paranoid animals? Yes. They can't control their own lives. So Mr. Lamp, you'll have to do that for them."

What would we do with the discarded guns and rifles? Melt them down and give the steel rolls, pipes, bars to developing countries to help them build new homes and businesses.

"Number six: I wish to change the obscene ratio (gap) between what the ceo of a company makes and what his lowest-paid worker makes. In Japan, that ratio is about 32 to one. The worker at Sony makes $20,000 a year. The CEO makes $640,000. The worker and the stockowners believe the man responsible for the health of the company deserves $620,000 more.l

One can live a pretty good life - even with a wife and children, a maid and a chauffeur - for $620,000. With enough left over for savings and college tuition. But in the Greed Capitol of the world - the United States of Greed, the United States of Selfishness - 32 to one is not nearly enough. Robert Murdoch - the media baron who just bought the Wall Street Journal - makes $30 million a year. His lowest paid worker makes $20,000 a year. The ratio here is $30 million to $20 thousand or 1500 to one! The ceo of Sony is happy with a 32 to 1 ratio. Murdoch - and virtually ALL U.S. ceo's demand at least 500 to one. That's not fair. That's just plain, ugly greed. I wish that gap to be the same as the gap in Japan. If Mr. Murdoch can't live on $620,000 a year, put someone in his job who can.

Number seven. My final wish is that we create a perfect city. The city is called NOW (nix old ways). It is built on an old 20,000 acre air force base in Nevada, in the desert, 40 miles east of Reno. The city is paid for by all 50 states in the U.S.

NOW, Inc. makes a deal with each state to take 100 men in the state's prison system who have served at least half their time and are judged most likely never to return. It costs each state $40,000 a year to house each inmate. For that amount, NOW would take 100 men from each state, house and feed them on the honor system in two-story army-like barracks in the Nevada dessert, The total number of 5,000 men would spend two years working to build the city of NOW. At the end of that time, they are free men. Their record is washed clean. They can go anywhere they want. Or they can stay and become the supervisors of the new state-paid workers who have joined the workforce.

So, NOW gets $40,000 for one hundred men ($4,000,000) times fifty states, or $200 million. A great down payment on a new city.

It's enlightened self-interest (one of the great human concepts). The States are released from caring for 100 prisoners a year. They have new prison space. Five thousand men a year living behind bars and chained are now living without bars and chains in open barracks, working for a good cause, living with self-respect and moving back into a civilized world. And the new city of NOW, Nevada starts life on a $200 million budget.

The man in charge of NOW (who happens to be named Norman O'Hare Williams), calls on former ceo's of construction firms, famous architects now in retirement, retired city planners and transportation gurus and retired generals and financial leaders. He convinces them to join him in creating the perfect city, and supervising an avid work force of 5,000 dedicated men. They jump at the chance.

NOW is run on leg power and solar power. The only private wheeled machine is the bicycle. Leg power. Everybody in NOW owns a bike. Solar power makes the city go. There is lot of sun in the Nevada desert. Solar power takes care of the lighting at night, the electric stoves, the electric buses that cruise the city, the electric elevators in the buildings higher than four stories (you walk to the first, second and third floors). There are NO automobiles, no internal combustion engine, no guns and no loud radios. The city is round. Housewives know that dirt gathers in the corners. So there are no corners. The city is a series of concentric circles starting small at the center (where a mile-high building will be built). A half mile out from the center there is a 400-foot-wide river winding around the city. The water comes from a mountain lake four miles from the city. That same lake is the source of a large waterfall which provides back up electric power for the city.

The first residents of the city will be the ex-prisoners who helped build NOW. When they're free, they marry the women who waited for them and choose to stay in this utopianworld. The downtown of NOW, of course, is near the center of the concentric circles. The residences begin about a mile from the mile-high building in the center of the city. The houses for the people are built from five main plans but allow lots of input from the new owners. A house is already built for you when you move to NOW. You own it. You pay NOW, Inc. (your mortgage) only for the house's cost. No payment is ever higher than $300 a month.

"Is that IT?" the lamp asked, obviously impatient after that long number seven,

"Sorry, I guess I did get carried away. But NOW will be a great city someday. All the buses will have baloon tires. They'll be no neon signs anywhere. Churches will have to pay taxes on their land. And if you want to see a pornorgraphic movie or naked girls or do it with a prostitute or go to a peep show or drink in a bar, it's all in one location in downtown NOW. It's called the Red Light District. You can't drive there because there are no cars in NOW. You may get drunk and abusive and obstreperous. But you can't shoot anybody because there are no guns allowed in NOW. The only jail is a place where people can dry out and they put you on a quiet bus going to your neighborhood."

"AHEM!" That from the lamp.

Oh, OK, sorry. Well that's it. Those are my seven changes to make the world a better place to live. Er, ah, when can we expect delivery?

"Any day now," the lamp said. "Any day now."