Maysa's Diary

Weary...but holding on..faith... knowing...

Wed, 05 Mar 2008 03:25:41 GMT

Hey y'all..

I'm sitting here in Los Angeles at a hotel,waiting to leave to go to Jakarta tomorrow to sing with Jeff Lorber,Najee and probably Incognito.

My life,for the last month or so has been absolutely crazy.

I mean thank God everyone is still alive and well,God knows I am grateful for that.

But ever since I made my dream board,it seems like a hurricane has entered my world.

I feel like I am seriously in a coccoon,growing,changimg,truly metamorphosizing.

Maybe God put the idea for Metamorphosis so strongly in my spirit because He knew I was going to be in this place at this time.

I talked with Him today. I sat in this room,sometimes in the dark,so I could be open to hear what He is trying to tell me. I meditated,I cried,I slept,and I asked God why was I here alone? Usually I would have my friends with me,my ex-boyfriend would have been with me possibly,but now I am in this room trying to figure out why I feel so sad.These people who would be with me ,we aren't even speaking right now.

I won't get into why,but they hurt me real bad,and I am just moving on.Actually,I'm ok with it. Looking forward to my life which starts every morning when I wake up.

I have some of my best friends here in LA,I have hung out a little with them,but today I could,wouldnt let them see me this way. I wanted to spare them the look on my face that is getting harder and harder to hide.

I am blessed, I know. I have a career that still,after 17 years,has the potential to grow beyond my dreams at any minute.I have been able to take care of my family with my voice. That is huge! How blessed I am. I know that big break I have been waiting for could be around the corner,and I know I have to hang on and believe and have faith.

But I am so tired.

I was dreading the 21 hour flight I have to take tomorrow,but then it came to me..

I am flying to a beautiful tropical paradise. Flying in style,getting PAID,and singimng to people who have survived a horrible tragedy. I am honored to be able to sing to everyone who comes to the festival. I am grateful GOD. 21 hours? Whateva.

I miss my family. Jazz wants me to come back home. But i gotta do this. I am an independent woman. I promised my father I would take over for him as much as I could.

I just want to travel safely and get home.

METAMORPHOSIS.

I am truly changing. The weight loss has been slow. I am told I am not eating enough food. But I dont have an appetite. Today I ate some mixed nuts and salad and some water. Feel a little hungry right now. Gotta get used to eating 5 small meals a day. Jump start my metabolism,time to melt down.

Met someone new. Someone who appreciates my music. Made a connection.Almost magical one. A spiritual one. He's a nice man.

Meeting Jill Scott...

Was great. She gave a fantastic show,and showed me so much love when I went to meet her after. Made me feel great because she showed me genuine love between musical sisters.

Don't get that too much. A lot of jealousy and backstabbing I have experienced.

To my friends who have helped me through the last few months. I love you. To the people who walked out of my life. Thank you. I still love you.

See ya later y'all..

Talk to u from Jakarta.

Maysa

Wed, 07 Nov 2007 20:25:16 GMT

FAMILY,FAMILY,FAMILY..
THERE IS SO MUCH GOING ON IN MY LIFE IT'S A TRIP.
MOSTLY GOOD STUFF..SOME STUFF I WISH WOULD JUST GO AWAY,BUT THAT'S THE YOUNG GIRL IN ME TALKING.
I JUST LEFT L.A. I RECORDED A SONG CALLED THERE FOR YOU FOR WWW.LINCOLNLOUNGE.COM.

THE FAMOUS DRUMMER/PERCUSSIONIST HARVEY MASON PRODUCED IT AND HIS FAMOUS SONGWRITING/PRODUCING SON HARVEY MASON JR. MIXED IT.
YOU MAY OR MAY NOT KNOW THAT HARVEY MASON JR. IS PART OF "THE UNDERDOGS" TEAM WHO WRITES AND PRODUCES SO MANY OF TODAY'S HIP YOUNG R&B STARS,IT'S UNREAL.

SO TO SAY THE LEAST ,GETTING A CHANCE TO EVEN WALK IN THEIR STUDIOS WAS AMAZING TO MY NEICES AND NEPHEW WHO TRIPPED WHEN I TOLD THEM WHO I WAS WORKING WITH..ALSO A SMOOTH JAZZ ARTISTS BUDGET WOULDNT EVEN PAY FOR A WEEK OF LUNCH IN THAT JOINT,LET ALONE GETTING A SONG PRODUCED BY THEM!
SO IT WAS ALOT OF FUN..

THE SONG IS A MIX OF CLUB,HIP-HOP,MY OLDER SOUNDING VOICE,SO IT'S INTERESTING HOW IT WILL BE RECIEVED..HOPEFULLY THE KIDS WILL LIKE IT AND Y'ALL OLD ASSES WILL LIKE IT TOO!! LMAO LINCOLN HAS A SLICK WEBSITE GOING ON..I LIKE IT ALOT.

BUT THE GREAT THING IS THAT I REALLY GOT A FEEL FOR L.A. AGAIN.MY BOYFRIEND WENT WITH ME.YES....HELL TO THE YES...I SAID BOYFRIEND CHILE' HOLD THE PHONE!!

MORE ABOUT HIM LATER...
BEING IN L.A. IS SO FUN..I WISH I COULD AFFORD TO LIVE OUT THERE FOR A WHILE..MAYBE I WILL DO THAT THIS SUMMER..SAVE MY PENNIES AND TRY TO GET AS MUCH WORK DONE AS I CAN WHILE I'M OUT THERE...

CHANGING THE SUBJECT SLIGHTLY BECAUSE THIS JUST CAME TO MY MIND, I WAS WALKING WITH MY MAN..HE'S REALLY HANDSOME,AND WOMEN JUST GRINNED ALL UP IN HIS FACE LIKE I WASN'T STANDING THERE HOLDING HIS HAND!!

I HAVEN'T HAD A MAN IN SO LONG I HAD FORGOTTEN ABOUT THAT SH*T. WHEN IT HAPPENED WE JUST LAUGHED IT OFF,BUT IT DID PISS ME OFF.
LADIES,THATS' COLD, SMILING AT HIM AND LOOKING AT ME WITH GREEN EYES...

ANYWAY,OTHER THAN THAT WE HAD A GREAT TIME..WE DID A LITTLE PROMOTIONAL MUSIC VIDEO WHICH I AM SECRETLY DREADING SINCE I AM NOT EXACTLY VIDEO MATERIAL RIGHT NOW IN MY LIFE...(I NOT TRIPPIN JUST STATING THE FACTS YA'LL..) "T"(MY HONEY) WAS IN IT,THE DIRECTOR DABLING HARWARD,DID SUCH A GREAT JOB WITH HOWARD HEWITT AND KENNY LATIMORE'S, I HOPE HE CAN WORK A MIRACLE FOR A SISTA.

MY SHOWS AT BLUES ALLEY HAVE BEEN MOVED TO JULY..THIS WAS A DECISION MADE BY THE CLUB,SORRY IF ANYONE WAS INCONVIENIENCED(sp).BUT THE GOOD THING IS THAT I HAD METAMORPHOSIZED YET SO THIS GIVES ME 8 MORE MONTHS TO DO SOMETHING AND STOP B.S.-ING.

AT THESE SHOWS LAST YEAR I TOLD EVERYONE I WOULD COME BACK METMORPHOSIZED,AND IT WOULD HAVE BEEN A SHAME TO SHOW UP ONLY HAVING LOST 7LBS. LOL

HEY I GOTTA FINISH THIS DIARY LATER BECAUSE I HAVE TO GO TO THE AIRPORT AGAIN TO GO TO BOSTON FOR A JOB INTERVIEW. I WILL TELL YOU HOW IT GOES IN PART TWO,PLUS I WILL TELL YOU HOW THINGS WENT WHEN I RECORDED IN LONDON LAST WEEK WITH BLUEY...

JAZZ WENT TO SCHOOL AS AN AIRLINE PILOT FOR HALLOWEEN..ISNT HE A CUTIE!

PLUS I HAVE TO TELL YOU ABOUT THE CAPITAL JAZZ FEST CRUISE AND SHOW YOU PICTURES..HERE'S A FEW!

MAYSA LIVE

Wed, 04 Jul 2007 14:46:47 GMT

HEY FAMILY..

WORDS CAN NOT EXPRESS HOW OVERWHELMED I AM WITH THE RECORDING AT THE BIRCHMERE LAST WEEKEND,AND HOW YOU ALL RECIEVED US..YOU MADE US FEEL LIKE SUPERSTARS!!

MY BAND WAS OFF THE HOOK COMPLETELY,AND I AM SO PROUD OF THEM.

TO TY,BERNIE AND TROY ,WANDA TAMMY,NITA NICKA,TODD,MOMMY..EVERYBODY WHO HELPED ME PLAN AND EXECUTE THE WHOLE THING..THE SOUND COMPANY AND ENGINEERS..

WAYNE BRUCE,MY MUSIC DIRECTOR...WOW YOU REALLY DID IT HONEY..THANK YOU SO MUCH..

I'M WORN OUT..BUT I WILL COME BACK AND DO A BETTER DIARY LATER..

I LOVE Y'ALL SO MUCH .,THANK YOU!

MAYSA

Weight Watchers,Canada,Underground Divas..

Thu, 10 May 2007 04:40:19 GMT

Hey y'all..

I'm sitting here at home at 12:07 am,Thursday,May 10,2007.

I just came from The Giant Supermarket and I bought a freezer full of Smart Ones(tm) from Weight Watchers.

I am trying to get my ass in gear for my metamorphosis..dammit I was supposed to start in January after Blues Alley,then I got blindsided by work and man stuff,and I am just really focused TODAY..I started my two mile walk around my neighborhood on Monday..didn't do squat Tuesday and today,but I'm gonn get my hips up at 6am(less than 6 hours from now) and WALK WALK WALK....my mom is doing it with me,shes already lost 14 pounds in the last two weeks and she hasnt even started exercising yet.

I am going to St.Lucia to sing at the Jazz Fest, I am filling in for my buddy Will Downing,who is recovering from being sick since January...(he tells his story on his website..) He's such a strong man,I am praying for him.

I leave at 5 am on Friday Morning,and then I get back on Mothers Day at 6:30 pm..and my mom is cooking a crazy meal of Seafood Salad,Crabcakes,Spareribs(oh my gosh Jazz devours Spareribs!! I wish I could get a picture of him..y'all would crack up!)..and goodness knows what else..so we are taking that day off the diet ,but come Monday morning,I am back on schedule.

So my routine is basically..

-Walking every morning for 45 minutes which is 2 miles (for me)..I'll cut the time down soon)

-Weight Training with my personal trainer at his gym in Security Mall (Charles Harris III is his name),three days a week.

When I am on the road I will walk the stairs in the hotel for thirty minutes and /or go to the gym if they have one. Or go for a walk around the hotel.

I time myself by my new CD which is about 50 minutes long..

-My Maysa Menu

* Breakfast- What ever I want within 10 points.

* snack-fruit/yogurt (count the points)

*Lunch- Smart Ones meal

*snack-??? within my daily points

*Dinner-Smart Ones meal

-Drink alot of water

-Pray that I will stick to this this time.Please GOD help me. :)

I'm sorry I'm such a punk and refuse to tell you how much I weigh today,but I will admit that as of today ,May 10,2007. I have 95 pounds to lose.

I'm trying to get the new site up as soon as possible,so that we can publicly show you all my progress...

Oh I haven't told you guys about the Canadian Smooth Jazz Awards..I had a great time ,and I did a pretty good job as a presenter I think. Troy, went with me,and as a director,he said I did good. and believe me ,he doesnt hold back when he thinks he can help you improve!

Al Jarreau won in my category,but I wasn't mad..it's like losing an award to your teacher! It's all good.

Troy took most of the pictures..but I did get some cool ones of the hotel we stayed in for the Jam Sessions the next night ..very nice!

I like Toronto..hey,BRUCE??? What happened to you?Dag..

Oh well dahlin's..I'll add some more tomorrow..I gotta tell you about my first REVENGE OF THE UNDERGROUND DIVAS CONCERT!

The inaugural concert unfortunately is a private gig,but hopefully it will lead to something big!

This flyer is an unofficial idea. And I probably shouldn't put it out there yet..but I want y'all to see what's going on..ya dig??

Love ya, I'm sleepy. 'Night.

Maysa

FEEL THE FIRE:SWEET CLASSIC SOUL VOL.2

Tue, 03 Apr 2007 16:57:25 GMT

1. I CAN'T HELP IT
2.YOU ARE MY STARSHIP
3. HAPPY FEELINGS
4. I DON'T WANNA LOSE YOUR LOVE
5. FEEL THE FIRE
6. ZOOM
7. SEND FOR ME
8. I'M IN LOVE
9. THIS TIME I'LL BE SWEETER

10.AIN'T NO SUNSHINE

My Man 's Gone Now.. (Porgy and Bess) LOL

Sun, 08 Apr 2007 20:15:15 GMT

First of all..LALAH SANG HER ASS OFF..on the new EWF Interpretations CD...I play it over and over...damn that girls voice is amazing.And her production of the song is off the chain...

Now to the diary...

hey family,(ignore typos..don't feel like dealing..LOL)

i just wanted to say hello,and Happy Easter.I really have a lot on my mind,and i'm trying to get a grip on my life right now.trying to figure a new direction. i'm focused first and foremost on my metamorphosis..i joined weight watchers on Thursday,and I mapped out 2 miles near my house to run/jog /walk everyday. I will alsoi be going to my trainer three days a week. I don't really want to think about what I'm going to eat ,so i bought $100 dollars worth of weight watchers meals at the market today..normally I have talked myself out of counting points,but i am more determined than ever to change my appearance and maintain my healthy status. I want to stay healthy for the rest of my life if I can,so I am starting with my mind.

It's been hard to ease my mind since I broke up with my boyfriend. I really thought I was done with my search,but you know I am a woman who can easily adapt to any situation.
I have done it before and I'll do it again. But this time..for some

reason,I can't get him out of my mind.
and it hits me in waves...like for instance,I'll be fine all day long and one thought,or if I see something he likes or if I hear something that reminds me of him,my heart sinks,and I feel sick.

I don't remember feeling this way about any other man I have been with.
I think most of the problem with me having a hard time dealing with it is

because I know I didn't do anything wrong to bring us to this situation..(I never do...sorry if that sounds egotistical,but the truth is I am quite a catch!!!! HAHAHA,talk that shit Maysa!) He told me he loved me

constantly,we were always laughing and we were just happy.I baked him Chocolate Cake, Apple and Cherry pies..even though I still think he thinks my mom made 'em!

I believed he loved me. He sure made me feel it.Used to tell me I was beautiful all the time. Wow..I miss him!! LOL

He was a sweet and gentle giant,strong ,responsible and

made me feel like I was safe all the time.Even when he wasn't around.He's

a wonderful man.Yeah,he is.

But life throws curve balls and I don't understand it.(I can't explain

the circumstances).

I mean I asked GOD,why would you show him to me if you weren't gonna let

him stay here?
My happiness was so strong,it surprised me!
My whole family..friends,band members..everyone was so excited for us.

Oh boy..I though writing it out would make me feel better,but It's not right now..

but let me say this..it's strange though....as sad as I am about us not being together,I am surprisingly excited about being free to meet other men too. Is that normal? To me it doesn't mean that I didn't love him strong..I mean I had to ask myself that question over and over.I guess my spiritual belief is that GOD and the universe will send me someone else to make me feel as good as he did or better..I deserve the happiness I was feeling,because I have been good. ;) Love will come around again..right Prince Charming??? Huh?? Huh??? I'm still waiting on ya big boy..:)

I have decided to deal with it by working harder,spending a lot more time with my son and my mom,and trying to find ways to make money, and to change myself so I can wear all the lovely clothes I bought for when "that day" comes...I am so looking forward to the first photo session and gig after my metamorphosis..

Change of subject...

I have been doing some great gigs lately,one of which was the Angela Bofill benefit concert in Detroit.
I was a nervous wreck...especially when I did Angel of The Night..she was right on stage when we started that!

She was so sweet though,and I really hope she gets beter and better every day.

I have been working with Grammy award winning producer Jason Miles,doing some gigs with him called Soul Summitt,and some Marvin Gaye Tribute concerts..I am going to Morrocco with him in about 10 days..It's gonna be fun..(i'm singing I want You,and What A Man,and some other soul songs..like I have Learned To Live Without You,by Mavis Staples...(How appropriate!) I was feeling that tune!!!!

I finally got to South Carolina..I did a gig in Columbia with Marion

Meadows and Pamela Williams..I enjoyed myself..the audience was off the hook..thanks for the warm welcome Columbia..now I gotta come back there with my band and get to Charlotte too..!!

I am also excited about The Canadian Smooth Jazz Awards on April 27,2007.
I was nominated International VOcalist of The Year along with Al Jarreau!!!! Corine Bailey Rae,Michael Franks,and David Pack. I am so excited!! It's so wonderful to know that when I was 12 my uncle turned me on to Al Jarreau and he is the VERY reason I wanted to sing Jazz and to scat!! I listened to him before I got into Ella Fitzgerald and Sarah

Vaughn.. so to be in the same catagory as him is wild! Troy told me to write a speech..(yeah whateva!) I am presenting two awards and performing Hypnotic Love..should be alot of fun.I can hardly wait!

well dahlin's I am off to walk on the treadmill..I'm gonna listen to my new CD Feel The Fire: Sweet Classic SOul Vol. 2. This is my last CD for Shanachie..just these two special projects was all I was to do for them.

I am having a very difficult time with the record company about the cover photos..I took them myself and I love them. I wanted to do something that is more in my true character..I'm tired of the super posed "pretty pictures"..I wanted to express myself like in the '70's when they used to make some wildly sexy covers...I remember when we couldn't waitto see what The Ohio Players were gonna do next! It was such a big deal then...Believe me..I had a picture of my "girls",LOL but I knew the company would have had a heart attack!the kids have seen much worse on MTV all these years.. a damn lollipop isn't gonna hurt nobody.

This is my last '70's cover record though..if I cover anything else it will be Christmas Songs and Jazz Standards..

As a matter of fact,I really want to do a Christmas CD soon..maybe this year I will get one out..

But my main CD for early 2008 is METAMORPHOSIS...I can't wait. The writing I am doing for it is so sexy and organic,and spiritual all at the same time. More raw vocals..not so produced,but slick..I am looking forward to seeing who will help me produce this one. I love working with Rex,and Big Dog and Bluey,and I am excited to see who else will bring out the true Leo the lion in me!!

Going back to Feel The Fire..
Here is the track listing...(yes I gave it to TerrAnce early because he actually is my very first cuzzin! (if I am wrong email me!) but I met TerrAnce in 1995 when I was performing at The Red Mill in in Milwaukee..at one of the first solo gigs I had ever done..)

And he drove all the way from Charlotte and helped me sell cd's..
But ALLLLLLL of you mean the world to me and I appreciate you all the same.Please understand that. I LOVE YOU. Thank you for my career.

Anyway..I'm delaying what I must do.Gotta go walk/run/jog my way to a new me..and literally count(points) my ass off!( I got side tracked in the middle of Jan. when all this man stuff started..so I haven't lost 2 ounces since then..hahaha.)

Then I'm gonna go find one of my male friends and get me a big ole manly hug. I really need one today. ;) and tomorrow too!..shoot everyday! yummmm!

Looking for a new love..Brian Culberston Cruise..the future

Thu, 08 Feb 2007 21:37:42 GMT

Hey Famz..

I know I have been terrible at writing diaries lately..so much has been going on..I was trying to nurture a relationship, take care of my family,keep my career going..trying to get in shape.. everything has been overwhelming and I need to take a break for a while.

My wonderful relationship is over already. He is still a good guy,it's just not our time right now,so I am back praying for,waiting for and hoping for my prince charming to sweep me off my feet one day. I DO still believe. I'm hurting right now..but thats the way it goes..huh?

The Brian Culbertson Cruise was cool..Wanda and her sisters Anita and Ann went along so I had some company.It was so nice to meet cuzzinz old and new...I liked being accessible to everyone.It felt really good to hug people and take pictures and stuff. Nice vibe.

I had to perform to track though after a week of live music from every other artist on the boat..but it's cool and I stilk tried my best to do my thing and it went over well anyway. No matter what people try to do to me ,I ALWAYS WIN. I know it and I believe it with all my heart.

Being on the ship was fun..BUT..who told them to put a damn casino on that joint?? Didn't do so bad though..I got my money back the last night!

I am really excited about my new CD "FEEL THE FIRE" Sweet Classic Soul Vol.2.

It's my last special project for Shanachie. It's been cool working with them.

I think you all will like the new songs I selected this time around..I really think I would make a good A&R person..I know good music when I hear it. :)

Here are some pictures from the cruise...I'll speak to you all sooner than later this time.

I love you all very much.

Maysa

APRIL WAS THE LAST DIARY???? AWW DAMN SORRY Y'ALL!!!

Wed, 29 Nov 2006 20:32:02 GMT

hey famz..i'm movin and shakin'...
I was just asked to replace Jodi Watley on a tour called the Soul Express.. www.soulexpress.us...
and I was asked to join producer Jason Miles to tour with him to Morracco,Marrakech (sp?)..etc... the Divas tour is getting closer to reality...the new Luther tribute cd i'm on is doing great already..just came out last week..my boyfriend is yummy and wonderful!! Jazz is turning 7 on December 6th! He's just a perfect little angel..well..not always..but he my heart!! I have been training THREE days a week with a trainer and running/walking on my treadmill...my diet is still screwed but I'm working on it!.....the weight will drop off when I get that straight!! lol... as soon as I get some money I start taking my weekly tennis lessons...I started karate lessons too..Jazz has been going for a while now..

JACKSONVILLE FLORIDA..LOS ANGELES WITH BRIAN CULBERTSON

Fri, 24 Mar 2006 19:30:42 GMT

hey y'all what's up?

I just got back from LA..I did a promotional date with Brian for his All Star Cruise,it was fun. The Garden Of Eden is a nice club...there were alot of people there..it was packed out..

I just always feel so self-conscious out there..because I don't have that LA look..I don't like how it feels...whatever..but the people are cool thank goodness...got to see David Nathan,(from soulmusic.com)and Pat Prescott who used to be a radio personality in New York,and now she's with the WAVE out there..Pat has been so supportive of my whole career..I wish they would let her choose the music at the station...she would have my back I'm sure...

Sometimes I wonder if I will ever see my career take a turn for the better soon...

Anyway..I'll write a new diary soon...

This one is done.. :)..well not really..

Jacksonville was off the hook..even with my terrible vocal chords..my peeps in Jacksonville treated me like I was in full voice!

We even had problems with the sound system,and the response to the band was incredible.We all appreciated the hospitality shown to us by the Ritz and we are really looking forward to playing there again.

Maysa

Jazz on Easter Morning

Mon, 17 Apr 2006 02:40:49 GMT

I rarely show recent pictures of my baby,but he looked sooo handsome this morning,I wanted y'all to see him.

I'm accepting arranged marriage offers already! :)

(Joking).