MellyboBelly

3:27:31 PM EDT
Feeling Chillin'
Hello Hello my (two?) Jland friends :)

How's life out there? I know Ms. Stacy is doing FABULOUS! I'm so happy for her. Her humor is priceless so check her out. Ms. Linda is there as usual doing her inspirational thing.
Even though I've never met her in person her spirit is just amazing-so quiet and steadfast.

Anyways....enough about you let's talk about me lol! First of all....I GOT A NEW JOB!!! Ironically enough she called me the day after I wrote the last entry. Talk about trust and obey! So I am now a FULL-TIME (yep yep health benefits to boot!) Case Coordinator for an assisted living facility. I've had a few training days and I LOVE IT! Such a relief on so many levels! First of all-I'll more than double my income that i've had since I've moved. (which isn't saying much but still...) Secondly-health insurance. Not having health insurance makes me SOOOO uneasy and I'm so relieved to have it.

Speaking of needing health insurance-last wednesday I was leaving the house to go to work and BAM Melly falls on a big patch of snow covered ice. Oh dear god. I was that woman in the commercials who says "I've fallen and I can't get up." I had to call my (soon to be) father in law-who in turned called 911 on account of me not being able to move my left leg. So here comes an ambulance baring down the road...for little ol' me. They cut my FAVORITE pants (I mean c'mon...do these people not realize what a victory it is for a fat girl to find a pair of pants that FIT? and then you're just gonna go cut them up?? UGH) and then those poor boys had to LIFT ME onto the stretcher. I bet they were sore for days....lol. Okay moral of the story being...some 7 xrays, 1 mri, one crabby doctor, and some DELIGHTFUL pain killers later....I was diagnosed with a severe twisted knee/sprained ankle. Goody goody gumdrops. so that resulted in me getting out of work for 7 woohoo days and basically sitting on the couch. and eating copious amounts of ice cream. and ravioli. and peanut butter cups. and pizza. (can you hear me getting fatter?)

Which leads me to my next topic...weight. After my pity party....I realized that I am OUT OF CONTROL. I mean seriously. My pants BARELY fit and it i have to go up another size I'm just never wearing pants. Which means I can never leave the house. Which means my quality of life will take a NOSE DIVE. So here's where I'm at. I'm so disgusted with myself it makes me sick-yet I can still not quite take the step to be "on plan.' I eat healthy in the morn-but by evening I'm shoveling in whatever I can get my sticky paws on. What gives. I was telling my good girlfriend-when people go to rehab they get all kinds of help for their addiction. And yet here I am attacking this all by myself...and I'm expected to succeed. I dunno. Something needs to change....I think I'm waiting for a light to shine down from the heavens lol. I've done really well today...hopefully today can be day one of success :)


OKay that's enough outta me. Take care y'all :)

Melly


Written by mellykoko Permalink | Blog about this entry |  Add to del.icio.us |  digg this This entry has 1 comments: Show Recent | Add your own

12:41:59 PM EDT
Feeling Hopeful
Hearing Atmosphere-God loves Ugly
I know I know. I'm terrible at keeping this up. I don't know why-especially when I should be writing down my thoughts/feelings now more than ever. Let's see....where to start.

Man....seriously AOL Journals gives me a headache. I had a cute entry...with colors and everything! ((which is huge for me since i'm graphic illiterate!)) I hit save and poof Aol Journals is unavailable and everything is erased. Lovely.

So a quick recap of what I wrote since I need to get dinner started. I've been in Hibbing for almost two months now! Hard to believe! It's going okay. I'm really lonely some days. I miss my friends, family, and former job. I hate the job I have now. I'm lucky if I get 24 hours a week-it's usually 16 and I always work at least one overnight a week which always throws me off. Finding a different job has proven impossible. Really really frusterating some days. But I love being able to be with Derek all the time. Long distance was tough on us and it's nice to be able to see him when I get home from work, make dinner together. etc. So I continue my job search. I just keep repeating "trust and obey' in my head and I hope God has something out there for me.

Secondly, Weight loss. It's been up and down since I've moved here. We ended up just trying to follow weight watchers online since Derek didn't want to do the meetings. It was going really well, and then we fell off hard...and it's been difficult to get back into the swing of things. I've been overweight my entire life. It's hard for me to figure out how to change when I don't know anything different. But I'm down 10lbs, derek's down almost 20 ( I swear guys have it so easy!) and we're making small changes. Any advice?

Lastly, planning a wedding is STRESSFUL! But we finally booked a location (Spirit Mountain-lovely ski hill that's beautiful in the summer and an AMAZING view of Duluth). I also booked a quartet to play during the ceremony and "cocktail hour" So it feels good to have that done.

I hope everyone is well! Pray often.

Melanie

p.s. I promise to try to write more than one every two months!!


Written by mellykoko Permalink | Blog about this entry |  Add to del.icio.us |  digg this This entry has 1 comments: Show Recent | Add your own

12:13:01 PM EST
Feeling Chillin'
Hello everyone! I had written a long entry about a week ago but somehow deleted the whole blasted thing and was too irritated to start over. But here we are. I'm actually in Ann Arbor, Michigan for their folk festival. What an awesome city!! I'm loving it.

In other news, Derek agreed to go to weight watchers with me! How awesome is that!? So our first meeting will be on Tuesday. Oooh that initial weigh in is always soooooooo dreadful! But this needs to happen. ((Obviously)) I'm just so thrilled to have Derek in it with me. After my mom and I went to the bridal show we went and looked at some wedding dresses. REALITY CHECK! at this rate....I'm going to be like a giant puff marshmallow when I walk down the aisle. No thank you!

School started...today actually. I'm not there :( It's a little stressful to be missing the first session but I've had this trip planned forever!!

Well, I hope everyone is well! Take care!  Melly by the way...that's snow not dandruff lol!


Written by mellykoko Permalink | Blog about this entry |  Add to del.icio.us |  digg this This entry has 2 comments: Show Recent | Add your own

8:14:55 PM EST
Feeling Frustrated
Hello y'all. How is everyone doing? Hopefully happy and blessed. Today has been a little frustrating for me . I found out that I did not get the job I really wanted near Hibbing. So today I had an interview at a crisis shelter near there. It went really well, and I am 90% sure I got the job. I'm just a little bummed because it's sort of a huge step "backwards." I'll be giving up my 8-4 schedule, as well as all health benefits. And they can only guarantee me 16 hours a week-although they said more will "almost always" be available. But it's shift work-including overnights. I know i can take it and then always continue to look for something better. I'm just having a hard time shifting my attitude!

Awesome somehow I just deleted the majority of my entry but here we go again...grr.

My BFF (Best Friend Forever) Ang rode with me to the interview and it was great to have some company! Afterwards we were able to meet up with Derek for some lunch so that was fun and it was nice to see him...even if briefly :) Mama's In Love.

I wish I could tell you that I've been eating healthy-but that would be a big fat lie. (Pun intended...wow am I funny!) I'm really having trouble getting myself motivated-but I know a huge factor of loving myself is loving my body! I need to treat it with respect-not a fat disposal. Food is just sooooooo yummy!

I'm hoping tomorrow things look a little brighter. Below is a picture of a stargazer lily I took the first time Derek brought my flowers. I hope it brightens your day like it did mine! Take care. Melanie



Written by mellykoko Permalink | Blog about this entry |  Add to del.icio.us |  digg this This entry has 2 comments: Show Recent | Add your own

2:32:55 PM EST
Feeling Happy
i apologize for not being around! Everytime I start journaling I always have the best intentions of sticking with it.....I PROMISE to do better! And a shout out to Melissa because I'm pretty sure no one else reads this lol!!

Okay SO much has happened since my last entry. The biggest news would be I got ENGAGED!!!! His name is Derek-and he's wonderful. We plan on tying the knot on June 6, 2009. I've been doing a little planning-wow people weren't kidding when they warned me it's a  lot of work!! But still fun and exciting!! My mom and I are going to the bridal fair at the DECC on Saturday, so that should be fun! This pic is right after he asked me-I was  SO SHOCKED!!

Which brings me to my other news-I handed in my two weeks at both of my jobs today. Derek lives in Hibbing and I'm going to be joining him there. It's bittersweet. I've lived in Duluth my entire life and my whole family is here. But I am excited for change and to be with my man :)  It is only 70 miles away. If anyone is from MN they know what "Da Range" is. I cannot believe I am going to live there lol. We wanted to get the move done before school starts up again-so that will work out perfect.


So times are a changin! But life is good and I am blessed. And I PROMISE to journal more often.

Take care, pray often.


Written by mellykoko Permalink | Blog about this entry |  Add to del.icio.us |  digg this This entry has 3 comments: Show Recent | Add your own

11:46:09 AM EST
Feeling Chillin'

Hello all. This is a picture of me from last Saturday when i went to a concert with a friend. It started out as a great night and ended heinously. Someone stole my camera :(  

My pride and joy. My everything. Ugh it makes me sick. So yea lord knows when the next time I'll be able to afford another one-I saved all summer for that one. It was 700! I'll get over it....and Karma's a beeyotch.

Other than that...wow my stress level has been a little out of control. Some days I wake up and think of everything I have to do and just laugh and laugh. (It's either that or cry!) School and the jobs have been a little overwhelming. But I do see the light at the end of the tunnel :) Just give me another three weeks and I'll be a lot more happy go lucky.

In other news-wow i was reading entries from a journal I started here about two years ago. Man it's funny how life changes! I've come a long long way in my depression and self acceptance and it feels good. Trust me-I still have a lot to work on and I know that. But I no longer hate myself. So that's always a bonus!!

I've got to get on the ball with this weight loss. I'm just so overwhelmed just seems that I should not attack another thing. But that doesn't mean I can't make small changes in my eating. Baby steps :)

Well that's its that's all for now. Have a blessed day everyone!

Written by mellykoko Permalink | Blog about this entry |  Add to del.icio.us |  digg this This entry has 1 comments: Show Recent | Add your own

4:51:15 PM EDT
Feeling Anxious

Today is the first day I will be alone at my new job! I'm excited, but nervous! I know I can do it-but I'm a little anxious about people bombarding me with questions I do not know the answers to as well as doing the books at night. Could get confusing. But hey we all have to start somewhere and I will be okay!

I'm ready for this change. It's hard but good. Details to follow. I'll let everyone know how it went!

Written by mellykoko Permalink | Blog about this entry |  Add to del.icio.us |  digg this This entry has 0 comments: Add your own