We Made Our Own Huppah

10:56:23 PM EDT
Feeling Blissful

On the day we announced our engagment, a dear sister, Lynn offered her services as a make-up artist as a wedding gift. Since I really do not wear make-up, it was a darling offer I did not refuse.

Once I arrived at the Synogague, and spoke to Rabbi, there was another matter that needed to be cleared up.

We had use of the whole building, but there was a reading group meeting and I had to remind all that we had full use of the building and they needed to leave. While this may sound ungracious, they knew there was a wedding and decided to have their meeting anyway.

Lynn showed up right on time, and the work begun. She chose wonderful colours; shades of lavnder, gold and plum for my make-up. When she was finished, I was trasformed and didn't know the lady in the mirror.

It was during Lynn's work that the ladies of our family and wedding party arrived.

My sister Eileen, Mark's sister Michelle, Sarah, my Matrion of Honour. Our G-d mothers, Jan and Jerry and my little flower girl, Elana helped to get me into my wedding gown, trasforming me from a single woman into Mark's Bride.

Written by mereel2005 Permalink | Blog about this entry |  Add to del.icio.us |  digg this This entry has 1 comments: Show Recent | Add your own

6:32:37 PM EDT
Feeling Happy

No one thought to take pictures during this time.

And frankly, there weren't enough hands to do so.

David and Mary picked me up early that morning.

My buddy David's wedding gift was doing my hair. David and I were in the Passion Play, The Man Called Jesus several years ago together. This is how I met them. At first David made sure my face was well powdered before I went on stage. After that, the next few years he played a Roman soldier while Mary continued to do make-up. When I broke my ankle in 1999, David and Mary were there to take me to doctor appontments, made several suppers and David cut my hair. This made keeping my hair up one less chore.

Now, my hair was shoulder length (today it is passing my shoulders) We had decided to straighten my hair, which is very thick and very curly.

After breakfast of an english muffin and orange juice, David realize I needed to change clothes. Since my hair would be a  sweep up, and I had a jean jumper on, taking it off after my hair was done would mess it up. David was bringing our honeymoon suitcases to the Synogague for us and they were in the truck.  So, I went into Mark's luggage and found one of his pin striped shirts.

It was the wearing of Mark's shirt that calmed my spirit. I deeply inhaled his scent, remembering what this day was about.

It wasn't about all that went wrong the night before. But what would happen in several hours; my joining my life with the man I loved.

While my hair is a handful, it was the pinning of the crown to my hair that was driving David to drink. The washing, dryer and straigthing of my hair took about an hour.

It took about two hours to pin the coin crown. Mary and I held the crown while David placed tons of hair pins into my hair.

Hair was finished by 1 pm.

We arrived at Beth Messiah, to find that Premire Events had finally arrived at 12pm. Thankfully, Buddy who at the time lived next door and had the key opened the door.

It seems that since our event was the smallest of the three that weekend, it was decided that the decorating could be push back to this afternoon. While it did make sense, I explained a phone call would have been nice; that way I could make changes in my plans.

Now, about Beth Messiah. This was a compromise on my part. Mark wanted to get married here. I did not. Why? Because Beth Messiah is...in a word...

Ugly.

It had been in a former life a Chistian grade school and still looks like it. While we looked at different places, two places wouldn't be free on that date, one site had so many restrictions, we kept coming back to Beth Messiah.

So, I agreed on the condition that we had to decorate the building.

Since the walls are cream coloured cider blocks, I invision a walled garden, shades of the Garden of eden.

So, I asked for white lit evergreen trees to alight either side of the walls. This soften the room. Black drapes hid several areas. A white iron arch would frame the door way and we also had Wooden Arch in the back, draped with grapes.

The Banners we had chosen to be used in the wedding processial would also add colour.

When we arrived, the trasformation had been done and the red carpit was being laid down. My anger was quicken forgotten and I was truly amazed as to how the room looked.

Like a formal garden. The only thing missing was the water fountain. But the given the cost of renting the fountain was more than my wedding gown, we decicded to forgo it.

Rabbi arrived and slowly took in his surroundings. Rabbi said he felt like he just entered the Garden of Eden.

Written by mereel2005 Permalink | Blog about this entry |  Add to del.icio.us |  digg this This entry has 1 comments: Show Recent | Add your own

11:25:36 PM EDT
Feeling Blissful

I awoke early that Sunday morning, my head hurting from a bad night's sleep.

It was suppose be the happiest day of my life.

I was still angry from the disrespect I had suffered the night before.

And it was raining.

It had been one of the hottest June's on record.

Of course! it would rain on my wedding day.

And then, I felt in my soul; "All fathers cry when their daughters get married."

I smiled and felt my own tears coming. My Heavenly Father was crying; His daughter was getting married.

David and Mary came and picked me up. Both were shocked by my sober mood.

"I thought your thoughts would be on the man you love," David reminded me.

He was right. I was marrying the greatest man in the world, hand picked by G-d Himself.

I quickly got my mood in check.

In several hours, I would be Mark's wife.

Suddenly, the neves truly hit.

Written by mereel2005 Permalink | Blog about this entry |  Add to del.icio.us |  digg this This entry has 2 comments: Show Recent | Add your own

5:28:30 PM EDT
Feeling Frustrated

I already knew that the Video guy, Solo dancer and three of the dancers could not be at the rehearsal. My sister tried to get Mummie to come, but Mummie made it clear she wasn't coming. Nerves were truly fried.

Yes, we had two Sofars for the wedding and they sounded; that is what shut everyone up so we could pray and get started.

It was at this time, Mark and I were pulled aside and asked not to have the Sofars blown. It had been ok'd by the Rabbi, but it seem to upset someone and we were asked for the sake of peace, not to have it blown. So, one of my former Sofar players became my Sound Person.

During this time we realize that we had to find thumb tacks for the Huppah. There were no hooks to hang the Huppah.

Earlier in the week, two of my Huppah guys decided that they didn't wish to wear tux. We didn't even know that one of the four we chosen couldn't afford the cost of renting a tux and was struggling to come up with the money. We didn't wish to cause  anyone any hardship, but no one spoke to Mark or I, but ran to Rabbi. This was one of the times I got mad (this was also the day I went to the Spa. And if I had not, there would be four dead bodies buried somewhere in the sands of the Jordan) Mark and I assured Rabbi we didn't know there was a problem and willing to reach a compromise. The guys would wear black suits. Tonight, we decided that they would also wear their prayer shawls since they matched the Huppah itself.

When the processional first started, I had to yell from the top of the steps; "STOP!"

It was clear no one had read the wedding program. It was so simple. A seven year old would have no problem following the directions.

I needed a seven year old.

I was ready to pull my hair out; working with this group was like herding cats.

Finally, things ran better and we worked out the bugs (well, I thought we had)

Then it was supper time and still no Event Planners. So, I headed off for the storeage room. I had brought earlier in the week, vines of grapes and roses, so I had the roses draped over the table that would hold the Menorah and the grape vines went in the hallway. I found a beautiful vase and bunches of Barly. It was during the Barly harvest that the love story of Ruth and Boaz took take and I thought it would add a nice touch. Another friend saw the huge birdacage and she had a smaller one that she offered for our use. It would sit on the Reception table.

Paul and Sarah, Sam, Mark and I got everything done and we all went home.

Mark and Sam dropped me off at my apartment. I made it very clear to Sam: "Take good care of him!"

Sam promised he would.

I took my milk bath, allowing the bubbles and prayer to eat away my anger from the evening. I should sleep well tonight.

Written by mereel2005 Permalink | Blog about this entry |  Add to del.icio.us |  digg this This entry has 1 comments: Show Recent | Add your own

3:11:49 PM EDT
Feeling Relaxed
Hearing None

Hello everybody,

Yes, I have since learned that planning, rehearsing, decorating, and actually getting married can be that difficult, but I digress...

The day that we were supposed to prepare for the wedding was Saturday, 25 June, 2005.  It was evening time because we do not work during Shabbat.  We had planned for the company decorating our Synagogue to show at 3:00 pm to set up for the wedding.  Unfortunately, we did not know that they decided to show up at noon the day of the wedding.  Since our wedding was the smallest of the events the company was decorating for, they decided to change the time they would show up to decorate.  However, they "forgot" to tell us; thus the beginning of many of Laini's meltdowns.

At five o'clock, we started looking for ways to decorate the Sanctuary, but we learned that Rabbi forgot to leave us the key to get into the storage closet.  When he showed at six o'clock, totally unawares, he met two very distressed people. 

It was then we also learned that the poles to the Huppah did not have the hooks needed to hold the Huppah, so we had to scramble to find thumbtacks.  Also, the lady who volunteered to make the Bridesmaids' and Matron of Honor's flower arrangements never showed up.  Therefore, we had to send people out to buy the flowers, and luckily my sister knew how to arrange the bouquets.  Lastly, Rabbi did not find a sound person for the wedding, but thankfully one of Laini's friends, was a former DJ, and stepped in.  All of this caused the rehearsal to delay by an hour.

The start of the rehearsal: now mind you, the rehearsal was supposed to start at six o'clock, but we did not start until seven.  At that time, we found that several people were not there that needed to be present.  Also, my parents were offended because of how we wanted to seat them for the wedding, and Laini's mom did not show up at all (She thought we were making too big of a deal over our wedding.) 

Laini was trying to bring order, and nobody was listening, least of all, me, the groom!  Hence the second of Laini's many meltdowns. Laini had finally got everyone in line, the Shofars blew, and the rehearsal started.  From the the back of the Sanctuary, we heard, "Stop! Stop! Stop!"  "This is not how I envisioned.  Did anybody bother to read the bulletin?"  "I worked hard on this program, and even a seven year old child could have followed it!"  Then Laini proceeded to storm out of the Sanctuary.  This was the first time she had left, and no one had noticed...

Somehow, we made through the rehearsal with a few laughs, and Laini did not kill anybody.  I guess that Spa Packet I bought her a few days before had helped.  Still, the decorating company had not shown up, nor called, and Laini had left the Sanctuary for a second time without anyone noticing because everyone else was enjoying the rehearsal meal while Laini was in the Sanctuary decorating.  I finally came out and found her and compelled her to come into the Oneg room to eat.  I promised I would come out and help her decorate later.

The old addage that the rehearsal does not guarantee how the wedding will go was very evident that night because we had the most beautiful wedding ceremony that next day!

Written by mereel2005 Permalink | Blog about this entry |  Add to del.icio.us |  digg this This entry has 1 comments: Show Recent | Add your own

11:00:39 PM EDT
Feeling Nostalgic

Once in a great while I wish that life would give a do over.

Our Wedding Rehearsal was one of those times.

In many Jewish communties, the Bride doesn't attend the Wedding Rehearsal; it is an evening rest before her big day. In others, there is no rehearsal at all; it is a spiritual and we just allow what happens under the Huppah to happen.

Our rabbi likes the rehearsal. That way there no surprises.

Not that this is a firm promise; but it does give you idea how things will flow.

The day started badly.

My sister had arrived the night before and Mark and I had to go to the hotel where she and two of her four children were waiting for us. We had ordered a cake for the Lunchen at Beth Messiah, since we couldn't invite the whole congregation, we decided to atleast share some cake.

Just as we arrived, we learned that the flowers arrived during the Shabbath service. There to be no delieveries until after 2pm.

But the vendors had other ideas. So, room had to be made for my wedding flowers in the fridge, we had to rearrange the bird cage (this would hold the cards and as well as to fake peacockes I had; one white and the other lavender, the colours of our wedding)

In the middle of the lunchen, the wedding cake arrived.

Wonderful.

So, the A/C had to be turned up full blast so that the cake would not sweat.

It was after everyone left and we began setting up for the wedding, we would learn that the storeage closet was locked and there was no one with a key. The Huppah and other wedding things were in the closet and we would not be able to get into it until six when the rabbi returned. This means, we could not attain the Huupah to the poles or do any other decorating.

Plus the company that was suppose to decorate the Synoguge hadn't arrived. They were due around 3pm.

So, by six I was in a full panic attack and Mark and I were at each other's throat. He couldn't believe that it was this difficult to plan and get married. It should be easier than this.

Mark has since learned that is not so.

Written by mereel2005 Permalink | Blog about this entry |  Add to del.icio.us |  digg this This entry has 2 comments: Show Recent | Add your own

4:32:48 PM EDT
Feeling Nostalgic

If you have ever been involved in a wedding; bride, groom, family member and/or member of the wedding party, you know that the last week is truly a nightmare.

I am now convinced that every bride and groom should be sent away for two or three days before the wedding, to a weekend Spa and allowing their Wedding Planner to handle the final details.

This way you have a peaceful, restful, happy bride and groom. Not two manics ready to kill the next person who has to bring him/her any bad news.

If you are reading this and planning your wedding, please learn from my mistakes. Having planned many a wedding, you would have thought I knew better.

1.Hire a Wedding Planner. Or a good friend. DON'T LET FAMILY PLAN YOUR WEDDING!!!!!! Trust me, it is a good investment and will save you a huge Tylenol Bill.

2. Take time for yourself. It will save your life and the lives about you. Go to the YMCA and workout the stress, take a nature walk, kickboxing, Swimming, anything that takes the stress off.

3.Guys (and friends, family) listen up. Give the bride a gift of a day at the Spa. My birthday was three days before the wedding and one of my birthday gifts from Mark was a full day at the Spa. A very smart move; it saved four lives that day.

That last week was a rough one. The last week we were both single and only accoutable to ourselves and G-d.

Now, there would be someone else to consider whenever we are faced with a life choice. We had a wonderful mentor/teacher in our rabbi. He met with us each week for six weeks leading up to our wedding. Premartial counseling is not just a good idea, but a must. For each couple has issuses. It is how do you deal with them that is the important thing.

And boy did we have issuses! Family drama, health (Mark's) career (Mark's military career, not sure at the time how the cancer would affect his military career) age (I am older).

But Rabbi pointed out that we were good for each other spiritualty and it was a joy to watch friendship blossom into a love match. He noticed we had a very high respect for each other, the encouragement we gave each other and that we could talk about everything.  We share the same values, morals, faith and culture. Where one is weak, the other is stronge and we are each others greatest cheerleader. The most important thing, Rabbi Joe said, isn't that you have differnces, but how you as a couple resolve them. And he had no doubt we have already learned how to resolve those "intense moments." We still have the workbook he had us work through and we referr to it from time to time.

But we were still snapping at each other. I remember getting so frustated over some silly matter. Mark stopped what he was doing and just held me as I yelled. There was nothing anyone could do to fix the matter (and I don't even remember what it was). It was just nice to be held.

But one of the funniest moments of that week was we were working on the Huppah.

I could feel his eyes upon me...

"What?" I asked, looking up.

"Just five more days, Laini. Just five more days..."

I couldn't help but smile, knowing what he meant  

Written by mereel2005 Permalink | Blog about this entry |  Add to del.icio.us |  digg this This entry has 3 comments: Show Recent | Add your own

11:42:57 AM EDT
Feeling Ecstatic

I am taking a moment from telling our love story to thank one of my new friends, Jeannette, of  Jeannette's Jottings, for choosing our journal as one of her flavorite's. Mark and I are both very humbled and honoured for being chosen. And Jeannette deserves the honour given to her as well. I am going to visit the other journals she has mention and I would recommend them as well. If their amoung Jeannette's, they must be good.

Laini

Written by mereel2005 Permalink | Blog about this entry |  Add to del.icio.us |  digg this This entry has 5 comments: Show Recent | Add your own

5:18:46 PM EDT
Feeling Grateful

Amist all that went on, Mark continued his cancer treatment until mid-April. In fact, we celebrated the end of his Chemo and his birthday about the same time.

We were thankful, so thankful when the doctors told us that the chances of the Cancer returning was less than 10%. Though he did in the beginning had a drop in his white cells, Mark continue to respond well to the Chemo.

So much so that Mark's doctor asked me to apply for a job at the hosptial as a Hospices Care Aide. Dr. Hopkins felt much of Mark's recovery was due to my care of Mark.

Having experience in this area, I made no promises, but I also knew that changes in one's diet helps with the battling of cancer.

I would make a natural veggie wash of vinger and water, bathing the veggies for twenty minutes and then washing well. Because I was already eating more Mediterrian, I change Mark's diet to the same. Red meat (beef and lamb) which are loaded with iron helps to rebuild the blood cells. Peppermint tea (ice and hot) is good for the healing of the tummy, as well as lead to a good night sleep.

With the last of the treatment over, Mark began to recover. Frankly, the treatment was beginning to take a toll and with the end of Chemo was just at the right time.

The doctors said he could wait a few months before the next treatment. Radiation. This would take place after our honeymoon.

But the most important thing was our faith. As people of prayer, we read the Torah often, dwelling often on those verses that speaks of G-d healing. We went to the weekly prayer meeting and many, many people prayed for us, for Mark's healing.

Many would say G-d no longer heals.

I would say, respect, you are wrong. I have prayed for people and seem G-d answer that prayer to heal. Sometimes that healing came through doctors, medication and nurses, G-d uses their hands. Sometimes, G-d healsby taking that person to Himself; and that is the best healing of all because that person is no longer suffering. As a Hospices LPN, I have seen at Death's Door and G-d decided, "not yet." Yes, G-d still heals. G-d is still at work; all you have to do is look about to see His miracles.

Mark began to walk to rebuild his strenght and start to get back into shape. And he has indeed worked hard. One of the side affects of the Chemo was a huge weigh gain. But as I pointed out, even this worked in Mark's favor, again helping the Chemo to work.

For, two months later, on a beautiful June day, one week to the day before we were to wed, I marvel and gave thanks to Yeshua, for not only Mark's love, but his life

Written by mereel2005 Permalink | Blog about this entry |  Add to del.icio.us |  digg this This entry has 6 comments: Show Recent | Add your own

3:17:18 PM EDT
Feeling Chillin'

The man in the middle is Dwayne Wooten with three of his "couples."

As I said in an earlier entry, Dwayne took our wedding pictures.

Our was the first Jewish Wedding, all be it an Messiniac Jewish Wedding. Dwayne made getting pictures fun. In fact, half the time, you didn't even know Dwayne was about  

But there was another connection Dwayne and I had.

Our teacher.

One of my first teacher in Hebrew studies was Michael Wade. And he was the best photographer I knew; it was his living. If it wasn't for the fact that Michael had since moved to Texas, he would have been my first choice to take our wedding pictures. It was seeing Sarah and Paul's wedding pictures that sold us on Dwayne.

And then, there is Dwayne himself. A quick smile and laugh, he has a wonderful way of making people feel comfortable and relax.

 Dwayne often spoke of some of the tricks he learned from his teacher. I had mention that a picture of his reminded me of Michael. It turns out that it was Michael that mentored Dwayne.

No wonder I got the best photogragher in town.

Now, three years later, one is hard press to get a booking with Dwayne, so busy he is.

I would not be the least surprise to one day find his name a household one.

A friend of ours caught Dwayne at work. I love this picture.

Written by mereel2005 Permalink | Blog about this entry |  Add to del.icio.us |  digg this This entry has 1 comments: Show Recent | Add your own