The Blue Oyster

10. "If your car is towed, it's cheaper to buy a brand-new one than to pay the fines"

9. "Leave one relative back home to carry on the family name"

8. "You wouldn't believe how friendly some of the men are in Greenwich Village"

7. "A cab from JFK to midtown should run you about $600"

6. "You can economize on hookers by purchasing the weekly pass"

5. "Apparently the new "Spider-Man 2" movie is out on video already"

4. "Learn these four words: "I didn't see nuthin'""

3. "The police get very angry when they catch you having sex in their squad car"

2. "Don't put Ben-Gay on gunshot wounds"

1. "If you smoke in a bar Mayor Bloomberg will kick you in the nuts"