1:50:13 PM EST
Feeling Sad
Hearing Bob Seger
Feeling Woe oh oh feelings
One of the things I get with interacting with more and more people is the ability to work on the little parts of me that I can't do alone. Well I got hit with another one today. I've been enjoying the friendship with Spa girl and getting into my groove with it after setting some boundaries up. Anyway she was happy today since they were going to move the spa to a better location. It's a good move for them, but I was sad. Spa girl picked it up before it had even registered with me. I know it has nothing to do with her just old tapes.
When I was young I moved enough times to be an army brat. So having friends ripped away from me was common place. So nowadays when it happens and I'm not the cause it still brings up old wounds. So I'm just feeling them now. Most likely I didn't do them way back then that's for sure. The biggest thing for me is to just feel them and not try to down play or cover them up which are my old ways.
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12:42:42 PM EST
Feeling Mischievous
Thursday 13
Thirteen Sexual Quotes.
1. "Anyone who says that gratuitous sex is no substitute for gratuitous violence obviously hasn't had enough gratuitous sex." (Geoff Spear)
2. "I love sex. It's free and doesn't require special shoes." (Anonymous)
3. "For me, love is very deep, but sex only has to go a few inches." (Stacy Nelkin)
4. "Housework is like bad sex. Every time I do it I swear I will never do it again. Until the next time company comes." (Marilyn Sokol)
5. "The only difference between friends and lovers is about four minutes." (Scott Roeben)
6. "There's nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard and use your imagination you can overcome that." (Lewis Grizzard)
7. "I read so many bad things about sex that I had to give up reading." (Anonymous)
8. "Sex and golf are the two things you can enjoy even if you're not good at them." (Kevin Costner, Tin Cup)
9. "Just saying 'no' prevents teenage pregnancy the way 'Have a nice day' cures chronic depression." (Faye Wattleton)
10. "I like my sex the way I play basketball, one on one with as little dribbling as possible." (Leslie Nielsen)
11. "Science is a lot like sex. Sometimes something useful comes of it, but that's not the reason we're doing it." (Richard Feynman)
12. "If sex doesn't scare the cat, you're not doing it right." (Anonymous)
13. "I've tried several varieties of sex. The conventional position makes me claustrophobic and the others give me a stiff neck or lockjaw." (Tallulah Bankhead)
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4:19:55 PM EST
Feeling Flirtatious
Yes This Again
This is totally my problem with Spa girl. She is so damn attractive. While a deeper relationship has left my mind, sex is still there. Although I know you don't sleep with the crazy lady if you don't want a relationship. Truth be told it's not my style either so I know I'm not in good waters. So I know if I keep talking (blogging) about it the less chance I have of doing anything.
Well I finally got Christmas cards done and out today. 59 went out today and I know I'll have a few more as more new patients come in. However I'm happy to have than done with.
The biggest hurdle I seem to be dealing with now is having a "normal" life. Worked very hard over the last 7 years to get to this point where most things in my life are calm and the extreme dramas of the past are gone. However I feel sort of empty without it. The constant pressure has been lifted and I feel its absence and I don't know what to make of it. I know gratitude for having these calm days would help, but I am still stuck on where's the shit?
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10:19:33 PM EST
Feeling Quiet
UG
Early morning business meeting, long day at work, gym, and dancing the night away has made me tired. My brain is actually fuzzy. It was a good day and I so do not want to go to pizza tomorrow. With the office doing well I just don't want to work the hours for small pay. However I know December is a slow month for everyone except retail. So I worry. I'll keep it twice a week until the holidays are over and then make a decision.
Perceptions and reality are funny things. Talking to MT today and while I was mentioning I taught Eric some boxing she was like I didn't know you do that. She knew some of the list, but when I reviewed the boxing, Filipino stick fighting, Wing Chun, other kung fu styles, and some fencing. I was pretty impressed with myself. I have done a lot in a while, but it's all still stored up in my brain. I forget life has been full.
The other is women. As many of my friends point out I seem to have no trouble finding women even though it never feels that way. Although I talk about many of the women I go out with or try to. There is always a slew of them that for some reason or another never work out. Take a women at the bar tonight during salsa. We were doing a complicated move so my attention was on that. However I looked up and this women is giving me the eye with a big smile. The litmus test on her was pretty neutral which was strange and rare. So I went back to dancing figuring I could figure it out afterwards, but she left. No biggie. I guess my old like of being young and nervous to ask women out hasn't fully moved up to the present.
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5:25:40 PM EST
Feeling Chillin'
TMI Tuesday
1. Are you a member of the mile high club? No. I tried to suggest that to the ex, but that went over like a lead balloon.
2. What is the most public place you have ever had sex? An office, but it was behind closed doors.
3. What is your most embarrassing family moment? Wow. I don't embarrass easy and nothing comes to mind. Wait when I was 3 my brother's GF made a birthday cake for me and put it on the table under a Tupperware cover. I made plenty of roads in that icing. It was a big surprise for everyone when it was uncovered.
4. What kind of birth control do you use? condoms. I rather use them than rely on someone else.
5. Have you ever had sex in the snow? Rain? God no. I like to be relaxed and not freezing.
Bonus (as in optional):Describe your flirting technique: innuendo, telling a dirty joke, talking about sex life, or physical contact? I don't really have one except being real.
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5:26:47 PM EST
Feeling Ecstatic
Celebration
Jeez even with 3 reschedules I was still able to pull off a new record for busiest day. I was feeling really cocky this morning since I was way over in the books and figured even with the usual reschedule I would be okay. Then it started and I actually dipped down below. Oh the horror. Will I never break 5 in a day. Then the phone started ringing and people wanted to come in. So it is a nice B-day present to me to do 6. That's the small celebration the big one is that I am way over my month record with four more days to go. It will be a record week if all goes well. I need to talk to my manager and tell her only 2 days a week. I marked it on the sheet for 3, but she ignored it. I want my free time now.
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12:49:14 PM EST
Feeling Happy
Well its Really Official
Well I'm officially in my forties today. Yes I'm 41 not that I really care. I friend asked that the other day and I was like whatever. Since I've been on my own the past few years the birthday hasn't been that big. I guess with no one to really celebrate with it does lose some of its luster.
I was hoping to break a record today which would have been a nice present. Well my first patient rescheduled. However 3 others wanted to come in. So that puts me past it with some to spare. Now I just have to wait.
Well I'm going to go out dancing tonight to celebrate my birthday. I haven't been able to make Monday nights for the last 2 weeks so it will be good to get back. Also I know many people there so it will be nice. I bought myself the first half of my presents for myself yesterday. I got Teen Titans season 4 and the new Futurama book since I'm a huge fan. I'll buy the new movie when it comes out tomorrow to finish up the presents. Hey got to be good to myself.
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