Lies, Lies and More Lies

Yesterday was my step daughter's 17th birthday. I hope she enjoyed her day. We had a b-day dinner w/her mom. That's always weird. I mean, I enjoy that we can get along and act like civilized adults. I get very uncomfortable though, when Chris says certain things to me or shows me any affection. It's like I want to spare her more pain. She's knows we're together, she doesn't need it rubbed in her face. I'm always like that when Ashli is over, too. Chris gets mad with me cause I will hardly ever show him any affection in their presence but I just don't want it to seem like  we're flaunting it. Does that make sense? Anthony isn't as much as a problem, as hard as it still is sometimes for him, he and I get along great. I'm more comfortable around him. He's taken the time to give me a chance and even shows affection towards me. I love it. He's such a good kid. Both of them are. And they are both so beautiful and smart. I'm always bragging about the kids and showing off their pictures. Even though I don't have a bond with Ashli , I still love them both and will always be here for them. I hope their mom knows that I will protect those two with my life.

But Lori, if you happen to read any of this, know that when we are all out at the same place and Chris and I do or say anything to offend you or hurt you in any way it's without intentions. I try to spare you anymore pain. Chris can just deal with it. Even though I've explained to him why I act that way when you and/or Ashli are around, he doesn't seem to understand. Just know that I am trying.

|  Add to del.icio.us |  digg this