Getting Old Ain't for sissies and other stuff

 My thighs were stolen from me during the night a few years ago. I went to
 sleep and woke up with someone else's thighs. It was just that quick.
 The replacements had the texture of cooked oatmeal. 

I spent the entire summer looking for my thighs.
 Finally, hurt and angry, I resigned myself to living out my life in jeans.

 And then the thieves struck again.

 My butt was next.  But,  these thieves are cruel. they attached 
my new butt  three inches lower than my original!  I realized I'd have to give up my jeans in favor of long skirts.

 Two years ago I realized my arms had been switched. One morning I was
 fixing my hair and was horrified to see the flesh of my upper arm swing to
  and fro,
 This was really getting scary -. What could they do to me next?

 When my poor neck suddenly disappeared and was replaced with a turkey
 neck, I decided to tell my story.

 Women of the world, wake up and smell the coffee! Those 'plastic' surgeons
 are using REAL replacement body parts - stolen from you and me!

 The next time someone you know has something 'lifted', look again - was it
 lifted from you?

 THIS IS NOT A HOAX.

 

This is happening to women everywhere every night.

 WARN YOUR FRIENDS!

 P. S.

Last year I thought someone had stolen my Boobs. I was lying in bed
 and they were gone! But when I jumped out of bed, I was relieved to see 
that they had just been hiding in my armpits as I slept.

 

Now, I keep them hidden in my waistband.

 Thought this was too 'important' not to pass on.