Unhappily Ever After

As I've mentioned before, I have problems with my 14 year old, Lynn. She is not my biological child so I did not have the opportunity to mold her the same way I molded my own children. Although I've had her for 5 years, nothing has worked with this child. You know the saying, "you can't teach an old dog new tricks," well, that is the case with Lynn. I am a firm believer that parents only have the first five years of a child's life to make him or her into what you want them to be. After that, there is not guarantee because their personalities have already been formed, and once they start going to school, if they have not been taught the difference between right and wrong, yes and no, please and thank you, or what their limits are... then it's hopeless. It will always be a struggle between parent and child and there will always be outside influences and peer pressure.

I am not saying that it's impossible to change an older child. But the odds are stacked against you, and had I known that, I never would've risked my marriage, everything that I worked so hard for, or the sanity of my own family. I cannot possibly get into everything that has happened right now, or why I feel the way I do, because I'd be here for days and days typing away. All I can say is, until you've walked a mile in my shoes, you have no idea what my life is like. It is very sad, and this breaks my heart to say so, by unfortunately Lynn is a perfect example of why 90% of the parents looking to adopt prefer a baby or a much younger child.  

The following is a very unpleasant story, but it is a true story and it broke my heart to read it. I found it while trying to search for help with teenagers who lie. I don't know if I will get Lynn to stop lying, or if she will ever change, but I'm hoping that it might help someone else who has trouble with a teenage girl. I think every teenage girl should read this! 

Jenny's Story

Jenny was so happy about the house they had found.
For once in her life it was on the right side of town.
She unpacked her things with such great ease.
As she watched her new curtains blow in the breeze.
How wonderful it was to have her own room.
School would be starting; she'd have friends over soon.
There'd be sleep-overs, and parties; she was so happy
It's just the way she wanted her life to be.
On the first day of school, everything went great.
She made new friends and even got a date!
She thought, "I want to be popular and I'm going to be,
Because I just got a date with the star of the team!"
To be known in this school you had to have clout,
And dating this guy would sure help her out.
There was only one problem stopping her fate.
Her parents had said she was too young to date.
"Well I just won't tell them the entire truth.
They won't know the difference; what's there to lose?"
Jenny asked to stay with her friends that night.
Her parents frowned but said, "All right."
Excited, she got ready for the big event
But as she rushed around like she had no sense,
She began to feel guilty about all the lies,
But what's a pizza, a party, and a moonlight ride?
Well the pizza was good, and the party was great,
But the moonlight ride would have to wait.
For Dan was half drunk by this time.
But he kissed her and said that he was just fine.
Then the room filled with smoked and Dan took a puff.
Jenny couldn't believe he was smoking that stuff.
Now Dan was ready to ride to the point
But only after he'd smoked another joint.
They jumped in the car for the moonlight ride,
Not thinking that he was too drunk to drive.
They finally made it to the point at last,
And Dan started trying to make a pass.
A pass is not what Jenny wanted at all
(and by a pass, I don't mean playing football.)
"Perhaps my parents were right....maybe I am too young.
Boy, how could I ever, ever be so dumb."
With all of her might, she pushed Dan away,
"Please take me home, I don't want to stay."
Dan cranked up the engine and floored the gas.
In a matter of seconds they were going too fast.
As Dan drove on in a fit of wild anger,
Jenny knew that her life was in danger.
She begged and pleaded for him to slow down,
But he just got faster as they neared the town.
"Just let me get home! I'll confess that I lied.
I really went out for a moonlight ride."
Then all of a sudden, she saw a big flash.
"Oh God, Please help us! We're going to crash!"
She doesn't remember the force of impact.
Just that everything all of a sudden went black.
She felt someone remove her from the twisted rubble,
And heard, "call an ambulance! These kids are in trouble!
Voices she heard...a few words at best.
But she knew there were two cars involved in the wreck.
Then wondered to herself if Dan was all right,
And if the people in the other car were alive.
She awoke in the hospital to faces so sad.
"You've been in a wreck and it looks pretty bad."
These voices echoed inside her head,
As they gently told her that Dan was dead.
They said "Jenny, we've done all we can do.
But it looks as if we'll lose you too."
"But the people in the other car!?" Jenny cried.
"We're sorry, Jenny, they also died."
Jenny prayed, "God, forgive me for what I've done
I only wanted to have just one night of fun."
"Tell those people's family, I've made their lives dim,
And wish I could return their families to them."
"Tell Mom and Dad I'm sorry I lied,
And that it's my fault so many have died.
Oh, nurse, won't you please tell them that for me?"
The nurse just stood there-she never agreed.
But took Jenny's hand with tears in her eyes.
And a few moments later Jenny died.
A man asked the nurse, "Why didn't you do your best
To bid that girl her one last request?"
She looked at the man with eyes so sad.
"Because the people in the other car were her
mom and dad."

This story is sad and unpleasant but true,
So young people take heed, it could have been you.

***Feel free to copy the poem if you know of someone that it might help. That was the whole point of including it here, to try to help someone else from making a bad choice. ***