Unhappily Ever After

October is Breast Cancer Awareness month, and it's just around the corner. We should all be doing monthly self-breast exams anyway, but those of us who are 40 and over need to have a mammogram also. Cancer runs in my family, so today when I saw my doc, I made an appointment for my mammogram. I know mammos are no fun at all, so I always try to give myself a couple of weeks to prepared for it mentally, LOL. 


It's like dreading those yearly pap tests, which we all hate, but are so necessary, and can save our lives. As a young girl, I used to hate getting my period, (and I still do.) I would always bitch and complain about it. My mother always told me that getting my period was a blessing because it meant I was healthy. As most stupid young girls who think they know it all, my attitude was, "yea right - some blessing!" Oh how wrong I was, and how right my mom was, and still is. Mother's always knows best!


Then when it was time to start having pap tests, oh boy... something else to hate! How stupid and naive we can be as teenagers. Fortunately, my daughters won't be as stupid as I was because things have changed so much now with all of the awareness ads and campaigns. But not just that... my girls know first hand how important pap smears are because shortly after my daughter Cathy was born, I was told I had the beginning of cervical cancer, which thank God was taken care of immediately. My sister-in-law died of ovarian cancer at the age of 38. She was the mother of the three children that I adopted. Unfortunately, she didn't have regular tests done, so by the time they found her cancer, it had spread too much. Very sad and very tragic,that's why we need to check ourselves regularly so we'll have a chance at beating it before it takes us away from our children.   

I hope you enjoy this cute poem: 


The Boob Poem

For years and years they told me,
Be careful of your breasts.
Don't ever squeeze or bruise them,
And give them monthly tests

So  I heeded all their warnings,
And protected them by law.
Guarded them very carefully.
And I always wore my bra.

After 30 years of astute care,
My gyno, Dr. Pruitt,
Said I should get a mammogram.
"O.K." I said, "let's do it."

"Stand up here real close" she said,
{She got my boob in line},
"And tell me when it hurts," she said,
"Ah yes! Right there, that's fine."

She stepped upon a pedal,
I could not believe my eyes!
A plastic plate came slamming down,
My hooter's in a vise!

My skin was stretched and mangled,
From underneath my chin.
My poor boob was being squashed,
To Swedish Pancake thin.

Excruciating pain I felt,
Within it's vise-like grip.
A prisoner in this vicious thing,
My poor defenseless tit!

"Take a deep breath," she said to me,
Who does she think she's kidding?
My chest is mashed in her machine,
And woozy I am getting. 

"There that's good," I heard her say,
{The room was slowly swaying.}
"Now, let's have a go at the other one."
Have mercy, I was praying.

It squeezes me from both up and down,
It squeezed me from both sides.
I'll bet SHE'S never had this done
To her tender little hide.

Next time that they make me do this,
I will request a blindfold.
I have no wish to see again,
My knockers getting steamrolled.

If I had no problem when I came in,
I surely have one now.
If there had been a cyst in there,
It would have gone "ker-pow!"

This machine was created by a man,
Of this I have no doubt.
I'd like to stick his balls in there,
And see how THEY come out!




Thank you to Chris, of Cab's Creations for this beautiful tag. Her timing was just perfect, and I love it!