Message In A Bottle

12:22:45 PM EST

Life Off Hold <--- (link)

http://lifeoffhold.blogdrive.com/

I'm officially off to new blog digs now; hope to see you there in 2005.

ETA: Now with photos, background textures, quizzes, books, polls and entries!

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11:06:59 PM EST

I'm grinding my teeth right now. Easy Designer, never cooperative even on a good day, is being it's fussy little self tonight. It is the tool that I use to heft my photos onto AOL's free webpages so that after about 50 exhausting steps I have some pretty offering to decorate this pitiful blog.

Tonight Easy Designer is giving me error messages or telling me I don't have webpages. The bottom line is that I can't do anything. Even when it decides to acknowledge my existence and work correctly, the AOL blog software only allows 1 photo per entry, always at the top before the text; imbedding photos within the text is too complicated for it. I can use the You've Got Pictures feature for up to 6 photos, but they're also at the top and annoyingly tiny.

Looking over the blog fence, my blogging friends have it so much better. Imbedded photos, sometimes several in one entry, bullet highlights, lists, calendars, avatars in the profile section....the list goes on. I've seen some of these things on AOL blogs, but AOL doesn't make it easy, and I've decided not to be enslaved by the craptacular blogspace and tools AOL offers.

There are several options that look good, and for the time being, I've chosen Blogdrive for my new Blog, Life Off Hold and Photobucket Premier (unlimited) for photo hosting. In a few day's I'll provide the re-direct link once I've finished cutting the cord.

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6:59:42 PM EST
Hearing Internet Holiday Oldies

The sugarplums are dancing in my head as I send out Christmas and Holiday greetings and blessings to all who wander in from Real Space.

Honey got her Christmas stocking full of catnip toys, balls, and little plastic thingies that she can bite, toss, and bat around. She responded with purrs of contentment and happiness which made me happy.

Last night I finally played a VCR tape that my family sent me several years ago of my mother's last Christmas Eve. It was 2000 and she was sick with terminal cancer at the time. A small group from her Salvation Army unit came and sang Christmas Carols out in their carport. Neighbors and friends were there for the Carols and for a little social after the singing.

One of the middle-aged men in the chorus, Dick,  had some kind of physical disability that caused his body's torso to jerk fairly non-stop. Near the end of the program, Dick said he has a song just for my mother. In a beautiful solo tenor voice he sang a Christmas song with a theme about Jerusalem, the heavenly New Jerusalem. My mother stood in front of him giving him her total attention and great grace and dignity. It was really touching, appropriate, hopeful, and very beautiful. It was a real Christmas gift for me this year. A real blessing.

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10:00:02 PM EST
Hearing Christmas music on Rhapsody

Grace over at The Friday Chef came up with these questions:

   Question #1~   Have you ever had a seasonal job?  Was it a good or bad experience?

I've never had a seasonal job, per se, except for the month or so I tried to sell Fuller Brush products door to door. It was my first paying job. I had to purchase the demos and flyers; with this overhead I had to sell to break even. I distributed the flyers in round 1 through my territory and then in round 2 I knocked on the doors to take orders.  

My region was split between elderly people and younger middle-income families. The elderly people were more likely to invite me in and eventually, after a long visit, purchase one small item. I had no success at all with the younger people.  

 I also sold Dianetics books door to door as a 'penance' during my Scientology years, and that's a whole different story.

Both sales jobs were the same, though.   The old or lonely were the only ones who gave me a moment of time and as I get older I understand this a lot more. I didn't sell many brushes or books, but I hope my sales visits helped make a few days less lonely. That is the only good thing about door-to-door sales.  

Question #2~  If your house was burning to the ground, what one thing would you chose to save?

It would have to be my 'miraculous rock'. In 1992 I made a religious pilgrimage to the village of Medjugorje, Bonsia-Herzegovnia, reported to be the site of ongoing Marian apparitions. During a rosary walk on Apparition Hill I had the thought that I'd like to take a rock from the hill home with me and I began to look for one. As I did this, an interior voice that was not my own said to me, "Let me have someone give you one (a rock)." With that my mind stopped thinking about rocks.  

That evening after dinner one of the older men in our group who had spent the day at a different event in the village announced that he had something for each of us. He picked up a bag and went around the room and we each drew blindly from the bag. The gift? A rock from Medjugorje. Many of us saw Christian patterns in our rocks. Here is a scan of mine with the image of Mary with her Immaculate Heart and my interpertation of the image.

Question #3~ Make one resolution that is do-able, and could make a big difference in your life.

After this year of illness, I'd have to say to lose weight, exercise more and to continue on with my allergy shots and try to get healthy again.  Without health it's hard to move forward on other goals. I've lost about 15 pounds since October so I think it's do-able, but it's easy to get derailed.

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5:01:49 PM EST

The Nelson family has had another loss.

My brother, Carl, passed away sometime yesterday in his apartment in Arizona of some kind of seizure (stroke? heart? anyurism?). He was 46, the youngest of us Nelson children. He worked the night shift for a local community college in the computer department for at least a decade. He never married.

Unfortunately, Carl and my father did not get along; aside from three brief visits at the time of our mother's death in 2001 he did not have contact with our family these past 12 or so years despite our attempts to reach out to him. We were hoping that after my dad passed he might re-establish contact with his sisters, but I guess it won't happen in this life.

He was 7-years my junior and so our only real time together was when we were kids. There was no specific estrangement between the two of us, but we were mostly strangers to each other. He had 'adopted' a different set of 'parents' and 'siblings' within his circle of friends over the past decade or so and ignored us. This made me sad, and a little angry, because I could see how this hurt my parents, particularly my father. Otherwise, my hope was that he found happiness in the path he chose for his life.

Somehow, although I'm shaken and sad, I'm not all that surprised by the news. I had an inner 'sense' about Carl these past several months since my dad's death, as though he was somehow already gone too.

Rest in Peace.

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1:02:38 PM EST

It's December, a time of festivities and joy. However, I am fixated on another event, an event I've been dreading since 12/13/03, the day my cat, Honey, came home with me from her Shelter.

It's time to make her annual vet appointment, and as of this date I've still not successfully picked up Miss SquirmyBody. She's a big girl. Her inner core is 100% muscle hardwired to a highly tuned feral flight instinct; the outer layer is a mass of squishy fat that is hard to grab.

My attempts at picking her up, which have not been many, have been dismal and weak. Usually I'm at an awkward angle...I grab and encounter squishy fat; by this time Honey's defensive moves have already gone into motion, and she kicks with her inner muscle and squirms out of my grasp. The emotional fallout involves suspicion, distance, a sense of loss, and insecurity. And that's just me.

Yes, I'm a pitiful excuse as a cat taskmaster; Honey knows it and takes every advantage. Yet the time draws near so it's time I grew a backbone and get this done.

Anyone out there got any cat-catching techniques?

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1:13:28 PM EST

I don't have a playing photo yet. Here is Honey watching the birds at the feeder.

I never thought I'd live to see the day!

Things have been just fine between me and my darling kitty cat pumpkin, Honey, aka Da Baby. Hopefully I'll be adding some pictures to this entry this weekend.

This week I had my landlord come in during my workday and remove my old shabby used sofa to make room for a reclining loveseat that I plan to purchase sometime in early 2005. As with all change, this, and the reorganization of the room afterwords, brought out Honey's insecurities.

Reassuring her can either be a tedious and mildly frustrating task, particularly when she hides under the bed and cries and is slow to come around. Sometimes, when she isn't that bad off, such as after the sofa incident, she gets all love-y with deep, appreciative purring and reassuring her can be very satisfying, as if our bond is growing stronger.

Once we got through the reassurance, Honey seemed to be overjoyed. For the first time since I've had her [11-months] she played openly and at length with some of her cat toys, vigorously tossing and catching a little ball, a mousie, and a small sack of catnip. Her inner kitten is coming out...at least until I run the washing machine again and she retreats once more to under the bed.

 

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4:55:19 PM EDT

For the most part I like to keep away from hot-button topics like politics, but it is the political season and so here goes...  

My vote will go to George W. Bush. I think he has faced an amazing array of difficulties with vision, strength, care for all Americans, and good leadership. His policies are based on values and principles that are rooted in American life.  

National Security - during the 90s American interests were attacked numerous times, including the 1993 attack on the World Trade Center but no effective actions were taken to truely combat terrorist networks. This changed after 9/11; President Bush rightly sees the need for an offensive multi-faceted battle against terrorist networks. John Kerry has yet to demonstrate an understanding of the situation and focuses on capturing or killing individuals, such as Bin Laden; this is a reactive in nature and just more of the same 90's approach which allowed terrorist networks to develop and strengthen.  

Iraq - We ARE in Iraq. Sometimes the political focus has been so backwards-looking (hindsight's great, ins't it!) that it has deflected from the reality.  Bush WILL have the determination to stand by our troops and bring about the right objectives for America and Iraq, for the war on terror, for the region, and for the safety of the world. Much good can come from this, but it takes a strong resolve despite the ups and down. The enemy has to first defeat the resolve of the enemy's country and leadership. That won't happen with Bush.

John Kerry is another story. Kerry will certainly make the situation a failure, another Vietnam. He can only see military action in terms of Vietnam and I don't believe for one minute that he'll have the resolve needed to bring this conflict to a success. Frankly I think he has defeat hard-wired into his resolve, and for this reason alone I can never vote for him for President.  

I feel that Bush has been good for America on domestic issues also despite daunting difficulties, including the attack on 9/11. I have the same concerns as most Americans about domestic needs, but feel that Bush is addressing the domestic needs. Kerry's 'big govt' approach would not even pass through Congress (thank God) which leaves us with no action.  

I trust Bush's values and character. I respect Kerry's service to America in Vietnam, but have deep concerns about his character and record since then, and even during this campaign.  

George Bush is the best choice for America and the world (but not the terrorists).  

[/political]

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10:09:09 PM EDT

Today, for the first time in more than 2 months, I feel healthy.

I've been sick the past several weeks with bad asthma brought on by a minor component of seasonal allergies and a major component due to particulates and/or mold being stirred up at my workplace due to rennovations in the building. I hung in as long as possible, but ended up being out sick for a full week in mid-October.

I'm also getting the allergy shots, and perhaps I am less able to deal with the allergens at this time. Several factors may be in play.

During my time out, I found help from Fred Pescatore, M.D.'s book, The Allergy and Asthma Cure. I'm now following his 3-month nutritional program and have tapered off from Advair Diskus because I think it's been part of the problem. Dr. Pescatore writes this about the class of drugs that Advair belongs to: "There is now some concern that there is a relationship between use of these drugs and dying from asthma." [The component Serevent is the suspect drug, according to the Advair commercial I just saw.]

Both my regular doctor and allergist put me on the strongest Advair (up from mid-strength) in mid-September and the month after that was horrendeous. I felt I was heading towards 'dying from asthma'; twice I almost called 911 it was so bad.

The nutritional 3-month program tackles yeast overgrowth that can happen with people who, among other things, take steroids. Both my rescue inhaler and Advair are steroids. I've also had varied symptoms of yeast problems for a while now.

The program is similar to the Atkins diet, except I can't have anything containing sugar or yeast. It's challenging, but I'm hopeful that it can contribute to my overall wellness.

I'm hoping that I'll be able to add exercise in soon and to have the energy and focus for the job search which is still necessary to get out of my harmful work environment.

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9:56:14 PM EDT

Gee, it's been 6 weeks since I promised more than I could deliver. The blog-neglect continued. It's always awkward making that next attempt after failing to follow through. Will I remember this withered blog? Does anyone stop by anymore?  (((echo)))  Well, that's to be expected....

New Life is the Theme

My father passed away in early July and entered eternal life.

Arizona sister is taking care of the family business and getting on with a new life for herself after years caring for/living with our elderly parents.

Tennessee sister finally got into court after 10 months of postponements and was granted a divorce and financial justice. Yay, sis! You deserve it!

And me? Well, I've decided that I need to move on also. The building where I work has a mold/mildew problem is getting pregressively worse. Apparently only I can detect this because I have extrodinary superpowers. Superman, meet Kryptonite.

It's now bad enough to affect me powerfully and painfully every working day. The Powers That Be are taking the course of Maximum Denial and will stay on that course until one day this winter when the foot of snow on the roof melts and pours visibly into the corner office. I'm going to do my best not to be there when that happens, but I hope a former co-worker will give me satisfaction and call me at my new job with the news.

Change does not come easy. I really like my job, particularly in it's variety and also the company culture which is very relaxed. My commute is rediculously short and easy and there is virtually no such thing as 'being late for work.' These aspects are not likely to be duplicated.

But...it's time to move on.

Please remind me when I forget.

 

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