IS THIS MY LIFE?

I'm can't do this anymore.

I have fought hard really really hard - the school, the kids, the kids anxiety their depression, teeth, my ex husband, and I am drowning now.

Let me make something clear --I am not suicidal - I am Mentally, emotionally and physically exhausted and I feel my body shutting down.

I'll never kill myself anyway -I wouldn't let that bastard of an ex get away with not paying me - I have Life Time Alimony.

I can't deal with anything or anyone around me at the moment.

I'm checking myself into a hospital today to see if they can help me. Maybe my medicine needs tweaking. Maybe I need rest.

I thought I could make it to Vegas - its only 12 days away - but I can't.

I can't carry myself from downstairs to upstairs with out being exhausted.

I am just exhausted. All I am doing is crying all the time or sleeping.

I've put this off for 4 days -- thinking ok - maybe it will get better - but its just getting worse.

Jared called to tell me he was out of the airplane - he just came home from Texas.

I burst into tears and asked him to drive me to the hospital.

Nice welcome home huh?

so, that's what's going on here.

He's on the way here, I'm ready to go.

Nothing to pack really.

I think they will though.

I know I have to be really ill to not care that I won't be able to smoke.

They'll give me a patch. I don't even care at the moment.

All I want to do is feel some relief and get some rest mentally.

Please say a prayer for me.

Thanks. Have a good week.

Love,

Michelle

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• #28 Comment from pprrrr39 
  4/24/08 5:39 PM | Permalink

  Michelle
  
  I am so very sorry that you feel so down and emotionally and physically drained, but you have made the first move by admitting it and getting some help.
  
  My heart goes out to you and i hope that you get the help and rest that you need
  Take Care
  Hugs Jayne
• #27 Comment from kirkbyj05 
  4/23/08 7:33 AM | Permalink

  You are half way to getting better already by admitting to it and accepting that you need help.  Well done you!
  I pray that you get the rest you need and the help also.  
  I will be thinking of you and praying for a good recovery... in your own time.
  
  ((((Hugs)))
  Jeanie xxx
• #26 Comment from helmswondermom 
  4/22/08 10:14 PM | Permalink

  I'm glad you're doing what you need to do to feel better.  Hang in there!
  Lori
  http://journals.aol.com/helmswondermom/DustyPages/
• #25 Comment from barbpinion 
  4/22/08 2:06 PM | Permalink

  I think you're doing the right thing, MIchelle. I did it too, once, when I was quite younger and extremely overwhelmed. It was the best thing I could have done for myself. I will be praying for you every day.
  Hugs, and love too.
  Barb- http://journals.aol.com/barbpinion/HEYLETSTALK
• #24 Comment from barbpinion 
  4/22/08 2:05 PM | Permalink

  I think you're doing the right thing, MIchelle. I did it too, once, when I was quite younger and extremely overwhelmed. It was the best thing I could have done for myself. I will be praying for you every day.
  Hugs, and love too.
  Barb- http://journals.aol.com/barbpinion/HEYLETSTALK