Nor'easter Blues

quick everyone... stand in front of the giant BEAT LA shirt!

Sun, 22 Jun 2008 20:15:43 GMT

Just like in your hometown, families like to pose in front of the 18 foot "Beat LA" shirt.

That shirt took up 1/3 of Georgia's 2007 cotton crop.

This guy was gesturing towards....

... this kid, who was a cutie.

Speaking of which....

Nor'Easter blues contributor Double S, who was heavily into the rum with Abdullah..

May as well throw in Angela, too.

I almost hired these girls- sound unheard- as my backup singers, except that I don't actually sing.

Well... I do sing... but it isn't pretty. Hence, the pretty backup singers.

We were rolling in a large crowd, so we need to work in all our co-conspirators.

Below, a distance shot, for scale...

More to come....

Tags: Boston Celtics, parade, rolling rally, blogplugs, BEAT LA

Boy, she has a lot of pictures, no?

Sun, 22 Jun 2008 23:51:24 GMT

Faces In The Crowd At The Celtics Rally...

Well-dressed gentlemen I encountered on Boston Common...

There probably was a cooler old person than this lady hanging around Boston Common during the parade, but I didn't see her.

I personally held off on giving Gabby and Melissa their first Mob Scene, but this baby seems pretty cool with the whole thing...

Hidden benefit of the steroid era... 230 pound leprechauns

These two were in a previous entry, but aren't they cute?

Consider it done, my man...

Green ruled the day, wardrobe-wise.

There were lots of genuinely happy people walking around. Most of the people pictured here were on the train into town with us, but I have no idea who this girl is. Seems friendly, though...

One if by land, two if by sea....

My main man Mad Marcus...

This was sort of a Saint Patrick's Day parade that Italians could go to, as well.

"... like a full-grown German Shepherd... you better keep steppin'"

Note to self... prepare to flee when Johnny Law starts un-muzzling ol' Rover there.

I was this cute once, but age is a cruel Mistress.

He's cute, in a police horse kind of way.

The cop got mad at me when I tried to give the horse one of my apples.

You'd think that most crime happens on the ground.... but remember, the Celtics are really tall.

I saw someone throw something at this guy, and the only reason that a 70+ Korean War vet didn't kick his ass is that a huge Mick flatfoot saw it happen. You never saw a kid go to the pavement so hard, and the crowd was 100% supportive.

Tags: Boston celtics, Parade, rolling rally, blogplugs

Sky Of Blue, Sea of Green

Mon, 23 Jun 2008 21:47:21 GMT

Abdullah (on left, standing)- who, I should add, is a Catholic- never was without a cop less than 50 feet from him.

Chris, Marcus and Angela hamming it up at the Boston Massacre memorial.

The blonde is my nanny, Elle.

I love this shot.

Part of the duties of the NBA Finals MVP is to be the first crush for teenage girls in the team's hometown.

The kind of girl that you bring home to mother... if you, for whatever reason, need mother to have a heart attack.

Maybe the best picture that I took personally.

Most towns have a separate, distinct parade where a guy can celebrate being sodomized by another man, but this guy just couldn't wait.

No town has a parade for people painted pure Silver, however.

Enthusiasm was what we were looking for, although cuteness counted, too.

School, or unsupervised at the parade? These dudes made the right choice.

All the noise didn't bother James Otis at all.

The glasses were left over from First Night, but they fit the bill.

If he wasn't dating the girl above, he should be.

Double S tends to go for the Hannah Montana demographic a lot.

<FONTFACE="COMIC size="4" color="#ffffff" MS? Sans>

Like I said... pretty much everyone was happy.

Steady mobbin' on the Common.

Hat, banner, leprechaun shirt... ready to roll

Goddamn right, little man.

Look closely, and you'll see that each one of these guys has a 3.5 foot Beat Down Stick.

It's hard goddamned work being Abdullah.

It ain't easy being Rajon Rondo, either....

Tags: Celtics parade, rolling rally, blogplugs, Boston Common

Boston Celtics Championship Parade

Fri, 20 Jun 2008 23:39:38 GMT

We took the whole gang up to Boston yesterday to see the Boston Celtics parade.

Boston was totally crowded. We caught the show from Boston Common, right near the State House. The parade ran from the Gahhhhhden to Copley Square, so we were in the middle.

Lucky the Leprechaun leads the festivities. Sure, he's a 5'9" leprechaun, but all the short ones can't dunk.

Mother fuc**ng Tommy Heinsohn, my second favorite Celtic announcer eva!

I took about 125-175 pictures, so I'll break this up over several entries. This one will focus on the parade itself.

NBA Finals MVP Paul "The Truth" Pierce

The championship banner, which will be hung with 16 sisters in the Garden rafters.

KG was working the side of the street that we weren't on, so we got this as our best Garnett shot.

A very happy Eddie is in the House.

A good time was had by all... especially our photographer.

Tags: Blogplugs, Celtics parade

Continuing Coverage

Sat, 21 Jun 2008 22:12:12 GMT

The second of several entries regarding the Celtics parade. This one is just a cloud of confetti.

Sometimes God serves me a waist-high fastball for a White Wife joke, and I can't think of one.

... like I'm gonna survive 500,000 people in Copley Square... I watched the rest of the parade in perfect comfort on the big screen in Boston Common.

Coolest Man In Town?

Checklist... NBA Finals trophy, check... hot wife, check... 100,000 people chanting "MVP" at you, check.... fat, Auerbach-style Havana, check.

Yup... Paul Pierce is running the town today.

A parade makes everyone cute... even a hulking 7 footer.

I kind of miss a lot of shots because I'm sort of retahhhhhhhhhhhhded.

The quality of the pictures will improve once I upload the ones Angela (above, in the sweet KG shirt) sent me... she knows how to zoom and focus and stuff, unlike your favorite Smurf.

Lucky The Leprechaun, big-ballin' and shot callin' down Tremont Street, leading a parade that roughly followed the Make Way For Ducklings route.

Lord... all I want is a parade where I can mack like that with people yelling for me... and none of that Cart To The Gallows chicanery either, Big Man.

More to come...

Tags: Boston Celtics, Celtics Championship Parade

Keepin' It Cape

Sat, 07 Jun 2008 00:20:32 GMT

As they say on Cape Cod.... you can have 354 buoys on your wall, but the 355th one makes it all tacky and stuff.

I've considered buying this... except that I'm the only sports fan among my sisters, and it would make me look awful strange(r) on holidays. It does kick ass, though.

If I owned a gay bar, I'd buy this guy, display him prominently, and call the place Captain Reacharound's.

We used to have a wheel like this (a touch smaller). If you have a fireplace that's 10' across, you can display it properly. Otherwise, it just owns whatever room it's in.

One of Melissa's favorite things on Earth... the fake cow outside Sand and Surf. We've taken her to real farms, and she's afraid of real cows.

If I ever catch the Colonel cheating ( a real concern in a home with a comely teen nanny), I won't kill him or kick him out. No, I'll just make him transport me everywhere by rickshaw.

I love this bush.

I love my cabin in New Hampshire. Unfortunately, this isn't it. This is actually in Wareham, MA.

Everyone's favorite bar in Buzzards Bay.

This is "A" Dock.

Most of this entry is from this antique store on the Wareham/Buzzards Bay line.

I don't know how all Americans don't die at 30.

Weathervanes!

Sat, 31 May 2008 01:22:37 GMT

Cy Young Girl Award

Fri, 02 May 2008 05:19:48 GMT

Old friend Rocket Roger Clemens turned up on our radar a few times this year, which isn't bad for someone who doesn't actually pitch anymore.

Of course, how he is appearing isn't the way you want to appear- steroid hearings, 60 Minutes, mistresses confessing to the media... he's sort of f*cked.

He was even outed by former child songstress Mindy McCready, who said that she and the Rocket has a thang goin' on when she was too young to work after school legally.

Here's an explanation, with pictures:

One thing you never hear mentioned when steroids are discussed... and it's by far the most important thing....

There are drugs out there that can make us better/stronger/faster. These drugs will let you casually smash records that have stood for decades... even centuries. While I'm sure that some bad-ass knights sat at the Round Table, I'd bet on the 6'7", 275 pound artificially-enhanced guy who is as quick as a mongoose.

All I know about the downside of steroids is that they are A) illegal, B) considered to be cheating in baseball, and C) supposed to rot you from the inside.

I want proof. Cobain convinced me about heroin. You can look at Whitney Houston and know that cocaine is a losing proposition. Pretty much all of the steroid guys seem to be doing just fine physically.

I need to see Clemens, Bonds, or Canseco die really young/soon in order to alter my opinion that we are sleeping on a radical, species-altering turn in medical science.

Imagine what safe steroids could do for this country. Think about a factory full of juiced up workers, setting productivity records on the regular. Think of the pollution/natural resources savings when people can leave the car behind and do the 7 miles between home and office in a 28 Days Later gonna-kill-you sprint.

In fact... what about our heroes laying it all on the line in godforsaken Afghanistan? John Kerry did a lot of whining about cheap flak jackets and lightly armoured APCs, but he totally failed to mention that there are currently easily obtainable drugs that might make every single Leatherneck currently dodging roadside bombs in Mesopotamia suddenly start kicking ass like Sergeant Alvin Motherf**ing York.

If I were stalking through some Shiite Asian Hell, I don't know who I'd shoot first if I found out that some stuffed shirt back in the States doesn't want me to be able to lift more/run faster because it's cheating.... but I know I'd be shooting somebody.

You can buy drugs right off the TV that will let you get a 6 hour Woodrow that a doctor may have to fix. You can serve a cocktail of drugs to a hyperactive 3rd grader. You can make tea out of dozens of strange, exotic roots and herbs from who-knows-where.

Yet... there's a superdrug out there that can make you physically superior, or at least better than you were. And they won't give it to us.

Shoot... even the old argument about steroids giving you the Needle Dick don't seem to be true. Barry Bonds spent considerable sums of money keeping a mistress on the side. Jose Canseco went 40/40 on Madonna. Roger Clemens seems to have been grabbing girls off The New Mickey Mouse Club to satisfy a sexual longing that, according to the generally accepted urban legend, shouldn't have been there.

The only guys that can tell us the truth about it are muzzled by fear, and are currently viewed as outlaws.Senators currently ignore $3.55 a gallon gas prices to spend days finding out just what Jose shot into Roger's ass back in 1989 or so.

We're fighting 2 wars, we need to reproduce faster than the Mexicans do, and American business and labor need a boost from out of nowhere. Our options are limited.

We can redesign the education system like after Sputnik went up, show full-frontal on Nickelodeon to get the kids f*cking earlier, and make more Guns than Butter.

Or everyone can just take a little pill.

Roger Clemens, we here at Cape Cod Today salute you. Stephen Cooper, your hometown still loves you. You are renegades, Chemistry Cowboys, pushing yourselves and medical science to the limit. You are showing us all that we may one day become.

B'n'W

Tue, 29 Apr 2008 06:05:42 GMT

AOL Community Challenge•Landscapes in Black & White•JUDGED

Bruins/Montreal

Sun, 20 Apr 2008 07:22:27 GMT

ESPN - NHL - National Hockey League

Well, I'll be a monkey's uncle... the Boston Bruins force Game 7 against Les Habitants.

Is hockey drawing me back in? I used to love it as a child, but a couple decades of us not being able to beat any team of consequence has sort of left me at the point where I can't name 5 of the current players... including the guy I have the jersey of.

Hey... it's not like I earned it, so let's not go there.

Simple and plain, folks... we were down big in this series, but we started playing mean... and now we've forced a game 7 on Patriots Day. Monday, I believe, gives us:

- The Marathon

- Time to celebrate the Celtic's playoff win the night before

- The Red Sox

- Game 7, Boston vs. Montreal

Tough to beat that, even if the Marathon bores you. Go Bruins!!!!

Post-game beating was ‘just plain evil’ - BostonHerald.com

I'd noticed during a regular season game that Montreal fans come to Boston in great numbers to see the continuation of an ancient rivalry. As Montreal was the markedly better team this past season, those fans were becoming increasingly vocal.

That will most likely stop, now.

You see, kids... Boston is one of those kinds of towns that you don't want to f*ckaround in. If you wear your Patriot jersey around in, say, Indiana... people are going to come up to you and engage in some sports talk. There may even be some good-natured ribbing, but you most likely won't be kicked in the face while you lie on some filthy Boston street begging for your life.

Shoot... I can remember being in Montreal on Spring Break one year, tipped to the rits, wearing my black-and-gold #77 and shreiking "F*cking Bourquey, mannnnnnnnnnnnnnnn" at some Rue De La Ste. Catherine gin mill. The primary reaction among the locals was amusement.

People forget that Boston is as close to Europe as you can get in America, both geographically and psychologically. Every time you attend a game in Boston, you should keep "soccer riot" in the back of your head.

While I didn't take part in the beating myself, I'd imagine that the victim's "sin" was that he was wearing the wrong colors on the wrong night when the wrong people were passing by. A simple mistake, yes... but wearing an Antelope suit on the Serengheti is a mistake as well, and it a mistake that a sensible man just doesn't make.

I'm not condoning the beating... and I don't want to give any tourists the wrong idea about how things will go down if the wear their Yankees hat while renting the summer cottage in Eastham. We're sort of used to it on Cape Cod, and our best revenge is continuing to take those summer dollars.

Things will be decidedly different on smoky Causeway Street after a Bruins game. You can see a more lengthy discussion of the matter in the text here- Redskins Behind Patriot Lines: Five [Plus One] Questions With An Enemy Blogger - FanHouse - AOL Sports Blog- in the "Boston Redskins" part of the interview.

Anywho... I hope the Montreal fan's skull fractures heal quickly, and that he and his kind show a bit more common sense when vacationing here in the future.

Dr. Z: Scouts, execs pick apart rock-solid prospects - Dr. Z - SI.com

Just some NFL Draft stuff, but I enjoyed Dr. Z's description of tailback Darren McFadden... "Runs like the wind...which occasionally blows him into nighclubs...where 'misunderstandings' occur."

Too much candy on Vimeo... you don't have to be French to think that this may be the cutest kid in the world.

Tags: Montreal fan beaten in Boston, Bruins/Canadiens, Cape Cod