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Friday, May 9, 2008
11:52:00 PM EDT
Feeling Hopeful
Cliff and I were discussing parenting today, as we traveled here and there.
“You know,” I said, “it really isn’t necessary to spank kids to get them to behave.”
“I know,” he said.
We’ve both regretted spanking our two children when they were growing up.
Oh, don’t get me wrong: Kids need discipline.
But I’ve learned that discipline doesn’t necessarily mean physical punishment.
You see, I’ve done some babysitting in my time.
Because those weren’t my children, I didn’t feel I should spank them or hit them. And I found out you can manage a child just fine, without hurting them physically.
I only wish I had known this forty years ago.
I apologize to both my kids for ever hurting them. It wasn’t necessary. I regret that I ever spanked them.
In my defense, it was what I knew; it was how I was raised.
Do I fault my mother for spankings I received?
No way!
Because that’s what she knew. That was how things were done back then.
Cliff grew up receiving even harsher punishments than what I received.
Just like me... it was all he knew.
But we both agree there are better ways to deal with a child.
Happy Mother’s Day.
Please, people... learn from our mistakes.
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11:52:00 PM EDT
Feeling Hopeful
Happy Mother's Day
“You know,” I said, “it really isn’t necessary to spank kids to get them to behave.”
“I know,” he said.
We’ve both regretted spanking our two children when they were growing up.
Oh, don’t get me wrong: Kids need discipline.
But I’ve learned that discipline doesn’t necessarily mean physical punishment.
You see, I’ve done some babysitting in my time.
Because those weren’t my children, I didn’t feel I should spank them or hit them. And I found out you can manage a child just fine, without hurting them physically.
I only wish I had known this forty years ago.
I apologize to both my kids for ever hurting them. It wasn’t necessary. I regret that I ever spanked them.
In my defense, it was what I knew; it was how I was raised.
Do I fault my mother for spankings I received?
No way!
Because that’s what she knew. That was how things were done back then.
Cliff grew up receiving even harsher punishments than what I received.
Just like me... it was all he knew.
But we both agree there are better ways to deal with a child.
Happy Mother’s Day.
Please, people... learn from our mistakes.
Written by mosie1944 Blog about this entry |
Add to del.icio.us | digg this
This entry has 18 comments: (Add your own)
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Last time I was visiting with my folks in AZ my Dad and I were sitting out back on the hammock and he said..."Robin I need to tell you something that has been breaking my heart for years." He old me one time when he spanked me he felt like he got carried away and has never forgotten it, told me how sorry he was and how badly he felt. Heck I didn't even remember it. Sure I got spanked a lot but I don't remember anything ever being too harsh. It was just the way things were back then. I of course accepted his apology and told him to forget it.
I agree with you though, we don't need to spank. I spanked Gabby once and it felt so awful I never did it again. I think it does take more "creative" parenting to discipline without hitting but it is worth it. -
Dad had his belt. Mom had her paddle (The Board of Education it said...) Honestly, I wouldn't have faulted them for the beatings if I felt I deserved them. Most of the time I was hit out of anger. That is the biggest lesson I learned. Never hit a child because you are angry over something that has nothing to do with them (they are just being a kid and happen to be in your way - easy target). When my boys do something that really ticks me off (it's pretty rare) I try to walk away and take a breath. It's hard to break the cycle of abuse. The urge to strike out is VERY strong...but so far I am managing. You are absolutely right. You don't need to hit your kids to get them to behave.
ryanagi.blogspot.com -
I did not pass on the belt whippings I got when I was a kid. That is the way Daddy was raised, and I guess that is what he knew, like you say. I wonder if he regrets it sometimes. Shelby has never had to have more than a pop on the butt when she was younger. Her conscience gets the best of her, she cant stand to feel guilty or bad, so she is pretty good most of the time. Makes for an easy child to raise. I was lucky in that aspect, but even if she had been more unruly, I dont think I would have passed on the whippings I got, certainly not for some of the things I did, they just didnt warrant the punishment I recieved, in my opinion of course. I try to look at it like it made me tough going through that. It also made me extremely rebellious, and to this day, I still have some of both in me.
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Happy Mother's day
5/19/08 10:55 AM
xoxo