My Thoughts

3:50:45 PM EDT

This is Sophia Arianna, born 5/10.  She is about 6 hours old in this picture!  I held her for a good hour before she opened her eyes.  She was about a week early, and I know her mom was quite ready for her to be born.  This is our 6th grandchild :)  What a Mother's Day gift! 

My mom and my granddaughter, mom's great granddaughter!  Alyssa is 9, won't say how old mom is...hee hee!

Add yours truly, and you have 3 generations!  I've always wanted to take a pic like this, but would have liked to add my son, to make it 4 generations.  My mom had arthroscopic knee surgery 2 weeks ago, and she is still in a lot of pain, but the doc says she is healing on schedule.  Perhaps its the vacuuming, cooking, scrubbing toilets that is holding up the process...she doesn't understand why she doesn't feel better! 

Happy Mom's Day to all!

Talk soon...

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9:56:55 PM EDT

First of all, congrats to Beth at Nutwood Junction on being Guest Editor this week!  Beth always has something to say, whether its politics, the book she has read, is reading or has yet to read, the interesting birds that visit her every day, and the wild turkeys that hang out in her yard!  Beth and her husband live on some acreage in Nutwood Junction, and has recently retired.  Don't ask her if she's bored yet, because thats not a word in her vocabulary!  Oh, and she's a great cook!  Stop by and be hungry :)

Beth has chosen me, among others, as a Guest Editor pick!!  What did you say??  Wow...I don't write as often as I would like, and while I do have so much to say, well, sometimes I do have to censor myself because of perhaps family members who may read.  They'd never admit it anyway...blogging is beyond their realm of understanding! 

While I read many journals, I don't always comment unless it is something that touches me.  Thanks to everyone who stops by and takes a load off...if only for a minute or two.

Talk soon...

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9:36:39 AM EDT

I wake up each day with so much to say...by the end of the day, I've forgotten!  I tell you, my short term memory is getting even shorter...scary, really!  I've been walking at least 3 times a week, 2+ miles each outing.  A couple of weeks ago we went hiking in Aravaipa Canyon, 7 hours...in the creek!  Talk about a workout.  As the crow flies it was maybe 6 miles round trip, but walking in the water can be hazardous, slippery rocks, sinking sand, tadpoles and other such creatures.  We even saw a bat...in the daytime!  That further destroys my hope of ever camping in the wild!  The possibility of any such critters walking within 50 feet of me is enough to make me shiver.  The good thing about walking near water is if it gets too hot, you can cool off really quick!  We also saw a water turtle hovering near a rock.  We walked a little way, then on our way back, it was gone!  We weren't gone but maybe a few minutes.  I thought turtles were slow!  On the road, before the trailhead, we saw a wild turkey in the road.  It would not move!  Glen was right on its tail, and it ran faster and faster.  From my view, I could see its head bobbing up and down.  Turns out the durn thing could fly!  Go figure...he must have been traumatized by a big ol' Hummer right on its behind, when all along he could have spread its wings and flown the coop :)

I attended a lecture yesterday about dreams hosted by our Spirituality department.  The presenter is a shaman and has been studying dreams for 20+ years.  The content of her talk was her interpretation of dreams based on her research...very important for that disclaimer.  The different levels of dreaming include:

Classic Symbolic:  just random thoughts, maybe situations or events of the day that the mind continues to process in our sleep.

Classic Literal:  dreams that include literal in the place of symbols.

Many more in between, but the one I found fascinating is the Waking Vision/Dream:  A waking vision is a very powerful image that someone can experience while they are wide awake.  They are not typical but are powerful and sometimes disturbing.  They nearly always carry a powerful message for the one who experiences them.

I've started keeping a dream journal, and since I've been writing, I've almost stopped remembering.  Recurring dreams can contain messages, and we keep dreaming the same dream because we haven't gotten the message.  I have dreams of a ship...sometimes I'm on the boat, sometimes I'm just seeing it.  I asked "what could that mean?"  She said, possibly, a past life, unresolved issues.  It is possible to, under deep relaxation, guided imagery, to go onto the boat, and see what is there.  I've had this dream for many years, not scary, but I wonder what it means. 

We leave on vacation next Saturday...Yellowstone!  On the return, because Monday is Memorial Day, we decided to stop in Zion and do a hike there...Angel's Landing, one of the more challenging and height defined hikes.  We tried it when we were there in 2006, but we were not physically prepared.  We should be ready this time!  I have to say my mind is already in vacation mode!

Talk soon...

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9:23:58 AM EDT

I attended a staff lecture hosted by our Life Management department during one of my lunches last week.  They have them every Wednesday, a different topic each time.  I don't always go, even though I have it on my calendar...somehow work gets in the way!  Never fails, that the message for that day, is exactly what I need to hear, whether it is for validation or something I'm going through at the time.  The following is an excerpt from one of the handouts:

Life is a theatre...invite your audience carefully...not everyone is healthy enough to have a front row seat in our lives.  There are some people in your life that need to be loved from a DISTANCE.  It's amazing what you can accomplish when you let go of or at least minimize your time with draining, negative, incompatible, not-going-anywhere relationships/friendships.  Observe the relationships around you.  Pay attention.  Which ones lift and which ones lean?  Which ones encourage, which ones discourage?  Which ones are a path of growth uphill and which ones are going downhill?  When you leave certain people, do they make you feel better or worse? The more you seek quality, respect, growth, peace of mind, love and truth around you...the easier it will become for you to decide who gets to sit in the front row and who should be moved to the balcony of your life. 

You cannot change the people around, you, but you CAN change the people you choose to be around!

We did an exercise, where the facilitator described a drawing to us, and using her words, we drew what we we heard.  She could not use her hands, we could not ask questions.  What she said, what we heard, even though we all heard the same thing, each of our drawings was different, and was different from the "answer" drawing.  The next exercise, we were able to ask questions, and she was able to use her hands.  All of our drawings were the same.  Isn't that how communication goes?  Someone tells us something, and we hear, but it isn't usually the same.  Mirroring, is the process of accurately reflecting back the content of a message from your partner...paraphrasing.  A statement in your own words of how you understand what your partner just said.  How many times, though, do we not ask, we just assume we understand?  This is where communication breaks down, hurt and resentment sets in, and the relationship goes no where.

Knowing when to say when, with alcohol (remember that slogan?), with food, relationships, etc.  Not always easy to do, but for one's own sanity, necessary.

I was feeling kind of sad yesterday morning, actually full of self pity, and that is so unlike me.  It had to do with my job, and though I like what I do, the company I work for, the people, it is different from any other place I've worked.  I've been there a little over a year, and I still struggle at times to embrace it.  Its not like me to feel this way, so outwardly.  I'm usually so "go with the flow".  It was hard to shake, I even felt teary (ok, THAT is so like me!).  I do believe this job, though, is where I'm supposed to be, and it is deserving of a front row seat in my theatre of life. 

Talk soon...

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9:49:42 AM EDT

In honor of Earth Day, the company I work for planted a tree.  Not just any tree, but a mesquite tree, a species indigenous to our area.  The ceremony began in the area where a Spirit Lodge is being constructed.  There was a blessing for all, humans, nature, our work.  It was 10 am, and while the sun was warm, I stood in the shade, a gentle breeze was blowing.  As my eyes were closed during the opening blessing, I could hear the birds singing.  When I opened my eyse, there was a red cardinal high in one of the trees, chirping a sweet melody, and we were her audience.  It was a moment.  One of our outdoor sports guides sang a song while drumming.  It was so tender, an ode to Mother Earth.   Another guide wrote a poem about the mesquite tree's roots, which are some of the deepest of any tree, speaking from the perspective of those roots.  It can be very dry in the desert, so the roots go deep where there is always moisture, holds it in reserve to survive drought.  It is a hardy tree, a beautiful tree.  It produces pods, which can be ground into flour.  We serve mesquite pancakes in our dining room, furthering our mission as a company to use the resources available to us, local products.  When we were kids, we used to chew on the pods, they are quite sweet.  My great aunt used the sap from the mesquite tree as a sweetener for her tea, or just pop it in her mouth and enjoy the sweetness!  The hole where the tree would be planted was blessed with smoke, and each person was invited to place a handful of dirt into the hole, offering a blessing to our brother tree that he may grow full, offer us shade, and a home to the many animals it will protect and feed.  A project manager from the Development side outlined how we are on the the greenest companies she has ever worked for.  We replaced our golf carts with electric models.  We use tons of golf carts on the 70 acre property to transport everything from linen to guests.  Our guests re-use their towels and sheets 85% more than other hotel guests.  We use minimal amounts of pesticides in our landscaping and because most of the xeriscape is desert plants, they are already hardy.  The solar panels on our spa complex is the largest collection of solar energy on a commercial building in the state!  When it came time for the grounds crew to place the tree into the ground, they covered the hole with dirt amidst an offering of more drumming and songs.  It was truly an experience.  I seriously had to contain myself, because my heart was touched so deeply.

On a separate note, I did a kundalini yoga class at noon.  It was soooo exhilirating.  Nothing like what you'd think of a yoga class.  Yes, there is lots of breathing, and that is the centering, but also massaging the inner organs, tapping into and releasing energy from the body, so that one feels the fire from within.  I am sore today, very sore, but a good sore.  Next week, the focus will be yoga as a self defense.  Can't wait!

Talk soon...

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9:55:10 AM EDT

Got this from Beth at http://journals.aol.com/luvrte66/nutwoodjunction/

The rules are:
1. The rules of the game get posted at the beginning.
2. Each player answers the questions about themselves.
3. At the end of the post, the player then tags 5 people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment, letting them know they’ve been tagged and asking them to read your blog.<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />

QUESTIONS:

1) What was I doing 10 yrs ago?

My 22 year marriage was ending.  I realized (though I’d known all along) that he was a liar, a cheat, emotionally, physically abusive person.  I had hoped to wait until my youngest son graduated from high school, but it didn’t work out that way.  I was in a bad place, but knew there was something better than where I was.

2) What are 5 things on my to-do list for today (not in any particular order):

Go to work; Get some kind of exercise; Spend some time with my husband; Read a bit; Call my mom to see how she's feeling

3) Snacks I enjoy:

I don’t snack a lot, but I LOVE nachos; cashews; bananas; yogurt; oatmeal raisin cookies

4) Things I would do if I were a billionaire:

Buy each of my kids a house; set up the grandkids for a college education; pay off our bills, my parents bills, mine and Glen’s siblings bills; give to charity; travel…hey, its billions!

5) Five of my bad habits:

Take things personal; grind my teeth; bad posture; procrastinate; obsess

6) 5 places I have lived:

<?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" />Tucson, AZ  - that’s it!

7) 5 jobs I have had:

Office manager at a cemetery; office receptionist at recycling plant; office receptionist at an electrical motor repair shop; executive assistant to the GM of AOL in AZ; executive assistant at a resort

I tag:

Marty

Phil

Suzy

Mark

Mik

 

Talk soon...

 

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11:08:01 PM EDT

I went back to the doctor for the results of my last blood test (glucose), and to have my toe re-checked.  As it turns out, I do not have to be on meds yet for the diabetes...although my numbers are right on the border.  He feels that watching my diet, ramp up the exercise, and do what I'm doing, only better, I should be ok, for now at least.  I did lose 4 lbs in a week though...from the worry in part, but I've really been watching what I eat.  Hardly any sugar at all, healthy carbs, and plenty of fruits and veggies.  Alisha and I walked today, 2.5 miles, and we are planning to walk at least 2-3 times a week.  My blood pressure was a bit high, and it has been the last 3 times I've seen him so he prescribed a HBP med.  Oy vey...

Weekend was kind of quiet.  I am looking for a hammock with a stand for my porch.  The weather has been so nice, I'd like to be able to relax, read, nap on the back porch.  Most of the models I've seen are either very cheap looking, or very expensive in price, so I'll keep on looking. 

We go on vacation in mid-May for our 6th anniversary to Yellowstone Park.  We are sooooo looking forward to getting away.  We used to get away about every 3 months or so, for at least a weekend trip, but since I've started this new job, I didn't have any vacation time, and even now, its limited.  It is so important to recharge and refresh.  Both of us have been feeling quite bogged down, and just plain tired. 

Talk soon...

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6:08:02 PM EDT
Feeling Anxious

Has it been a month?  Yeah, I guess it has!  So much has been going on, each day just meshes into the next, and before I know it a week, the month has passed.  There are some things going on that I can't really post about, suffice it to say that its family related, and has cut me to the core, a pain so great that it defies words.  'Nuf said about that.

Work has been quite busy, end of the first quarter and all that comes with that.  One of my managers has been traveling quite extensively, the year end audit, investor relations...my yearly review has been put on the back burner.  It was due January 15!  Oh well, the good thing is it will be retroactive...although I don't want to wait another year! 

My dad has been diagnosed with prostate cancer.  We met with his urologist last Wednesday, and listened to the options.  It is in the very early stages, and the doc doesn't seem to think it is very agressive, so dad is eligible for the "wait & see" protocol.  He is re-tested every 3-6 months, then biopsied after one year.  Should anything change during that year, then he would have to consider the other options, surgery, radiation, radioactive seeds.  Once you start the more invasive procedures, there are so many side effects, and other possibles, that it boggles the mind.  This is my dad!!  He is going to do nothing for now.  I kinda thought that is the route he would take. 

My mom's other knee is bothering her.  She had knee replacement a couple of years ago, and now its the other one.  She has been using a cane for a couple of days now, and yesterday she was using a walker, so I know she is in pain.  She doesn't stop, though.  I was there on Friday night, and she was putting away laundry!  My sister and brother live there...hmmm, whats wrong with this picture.  She was putting away their laundry!  My sis says she doesn't listen...

I went to the doctor on Tuesday to have an ingrown toenail removed...ouch!  This is the second time, same nail, and I was surprised at what was removed.  It had roots!  He cauterized the base so it wouldn't grow back...just in time for sandal weather...not!  I also had some blood tests done mid-March for cholesterol, glucose levels, thyroid, and bone density.  Dang, I feel old :)  Thyroid came back ok.  Cholesterol came back very high...heart disease high.  So he gave me Crestor.  I was supposed to take Lipitor a few years back, but I was determined not to be on meds for this.  I changed my diet, and lowered it to a tolerable level.  Last year, during the health fair at work, my cholesterol tested at 237, so I decided to have my own doc re-test.  It is 277 now, so Crestor it is.  Then...I have diabetes.  Not borderline, not change your diet and let's re-test...no, full fledged diabetes.  The doc my blood re-tested, and the results from that will determine the course of treatment.  I am so bummed.  I don't even think it has sunk in.  I mean, I know, but I can't believe it!  I hadn't been feeling well for a while, and if I wasn't eating every 3 hours or so, I would start shaking, and feeling light headed, so I'd eat, then I'd be ok for a couple of hours again.  Very thirsty, and a big ol' pee-head!  Constantly!  I work out, eat a very low fat diet, have a fair amount of fruits and veggies, whole grain bread, I've cut out sugar from my coffee, no soda, I don't drink alcohol...so what am I doing wrong?!!?

I don't have the results from my bone density test back yet...osteoporosis...thats all I need.  I feel like I'm on the down side of "over the hill"...I'm on the ender end of my life.  I don't even want to ask "what else can happen?"  I'm not ready for that answer.

Talk soon...

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5:48:27 PM EST

We got up early yesterday and went 4-wheeling!  Glen's family used to go out into the desert and mountain areas and picnic, camp or just relax by getting away from the city, on weekends.  My siblings and I used to do the same with our grandparents.  Just being outside, sun shining, breeze blowing...makes the stress of "life" just a little easier.  Its easy to see how we are so insignificant when we are in nature.

Copper Creek is where we went to yesterday.  It's east of Mammoth, AZ, in the Galiuro Mountains.   The area we were looking for is private property (or so we thought), so we had to ask permission to access the gates.  We arrived in Mammoth, and met the property owner, we had to sign a waiver, saying that we wouldn't disturb the cattle (its a working ranch), hunt, camp, or hold them liable if anything happened to us.  It was a beautiful day...mid-60's, blue skies...

This is what is left of one of the mines.  Copper Creek Mine was an acitve mine founded in 1880, copper was the dominant mineral, but silver and lead were also present.  The town had about 500 people, 50 buildings, a doctor, post office, stage line and the Sibley mansion.  We were actually looking for the mansion, as Glen has visited before, and could visualize it in his mind, but hadn't been back to the area in over 30 years.

Someone spray painted Save Copper Creek on the base of the building!  Guess graffiti is everywhere these days!

This sign is faces the fence we had just entered.  So there is no exit unless you have a key.  The landowner was telling us that renegade miners/mining companies have been known to trespass illegally, even being choppered in, to drill on her land, and can stake a claim if they find anything.  Not sure how it works, but someone can stake a claim on land that doesn't belong to them, if the landowner does not own the mineralrights...and most landowners do not own the mineral rights on their property!  Isn't that crazy??  She told us that for yesterday, we should encounter no one, except maybe drillers, who did have permission to be there.  Just getting to this point, the road was very rough, and we had already engaged the 4-wheel drive to get here. 

Glen climbed up to see what was up there...a fenced off hole.

The lighter color dirt are actually mineral deposits from the mining operation.  Even though this hasn't been a working mine for many, many years, its easy to see the irrepairable devastation it leaves on the environment!  I'm not a tree hugger, but I think the mining companies should be required to "put things back" the way they found them.

The turquoise in the rock is chrysocolla, a hydrous copper silicate.  This pic doesn't do it justice...the bright blue just pops! You can see plants growing out of the rock!

You can see a drilling operation on the bluff.  By this time, we are 3 hours into our trip, and the only other people we have seen are 2 cowboys on horseback with about 10 hunting dogs.  Turns out they were lion trackers!  Yikes!

We got to the bottom of the canyon, and there was a nice stream of water.  As I got closer to take pictures, I saw this waterfall and dam.  It was so beautiful!!  The water was nice and chilly.

All of the lighter color, that looks like rock, are actually the roots of a big giant cottonwood tree!  It was massive...and the roots were exposed, probably due to flooding.Glen is taking a coffee break!  Yeah, he's packing, but you know, we live in a time where protecting oneself is absolutely necessary.  When we first started hiking, I was uncomfortable with the gun, but with all the illegal activity in area, drugs and people smuggling, we really need to protect ourselves.  We stay away from the border as much as possible, and prefer to hike north and east of Tucson.

We drove up behind the dam, and there was a really cool camping area, below

This tree is massive!!  The area looks like it has been previously camped in, and we may just go back ourselves.  Glen doesn't think I'm a camper-girl, and maybe I'm not, but I'd love to try it.  We used to go with my grandparents all the time when we were young.  We'd wake up in the morning to some warm water my tata would have so we could wash up and brush our teeth.  There would be bacon and potatoes sizzling over the campfire, and he'd ask us how we wanted our eggs!  I always slept in the camper though, and Glen is talking about sleeping under the stars!!  What??  Ok, but I would like the option of going into the truck if I got scared!!  Then there's the whole bathroom thing...

Finally came upon Childs and Atwilkle Mine.  This is a bridge that goes between the mine and the road.  The bridge is rickety and it fenced off. 

I'll bet Indiana Jones wouldn't even attempt this!

Another bridge and loading chutes.  By this time we're 5 hours into our trip and besides the lion hunters, we hadn't seen a soul since!  Here we encountered 3 people, and they said there were 40 more behind them!!  We finally met them at a wash, drinking beer, on ATV's (no helmets!).

There's gold (ok, copper) in them thar' hills!!  We're on our way out, and I'm pointing to the Galiuro Mountains...can you believe we were in that mountain range??!!  We never found the Sibley mansion, but the beauty of what we did find is forever etched in my mind.

You can see the mounainside dotted with the spring flowers that bloom from the winter rains.  The whole area was a-bloomin'.  In a couple of weeks, the colors will be intense, and will blanket the area. 

Hope you enjoyed the trip with us!  Talk soon...

 

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8:37:46 AM EST

When I clean the house really good, like dust and sweep, you'd think someone would notice, and since there is only one other inhabitant here...notsomuch.  When I've gone shopping and I'm sporting something new, you'd think someone would pay me some mind.  Um, no.  I got my haircut on Monday, at the salon at work, so I looked different in the evening when I got home, than I did in the morning when I left, and it had been 8 weeks since my last cut, so I was pretty shaggy. 

Me: I'm crushed.  I got a haircut and you didn't even notice.

Glen: When did you get it cut? (hoping I would say today, and he would't be in over his head in hot water)

Me: Yesterday

Glen: Oh

I wanted to wait a week before I told him, but then he'd probably say, "looks the same to me".  I'd have been doubly crushed!

Although to his credit, I did my nails in a crimson color, and he said, "I don't like dark colors".  Go figure...

Talk soon...

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