1:56:03 PM EDT
Feeling Quiet
Hearing seether
moved and stil throwing somthing in this from time to time
just catch up agian dont like to right much any more , just in stand by in life i belive lost the ambision for now .... maybe after i setlle in to the new place ill get more in to it not sure if you have to have aol to be here any more ill find out once they actully cancle it so until then ill roll with it still pretty said about lamoha but i know she did fight a great battle wsa very strong and did her best with it all hope her famlies doing ok
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9:34:42 AM EDT
Feeling Happy
Hearing staind come agian
been awhile
left for a bit and wow everything is difrent ... well . things are going farley good alot of changes but all for the best .. scares arnt to bad from the burn but there there .. nice cant see them lol so no reminding me most of the time..
summers been good was working two jobs for about 3 to 4 months up tell last thursday the 60 to 70 hours was realy getting to me..
been travling on top of work .. not sure h ow i keeped up hehe..
kids have gone go cart racing with me and my new guy and we have gone floating the river ,swimming most weekends seen alot of the difrent towns here in nebraska that i didnt know were here.
lucklie i shoved all my hours in to the week so most my weekends have been free for me and the kids..
im not sure if i added in my last entry that the relation ship with my boyfriend of ten years was over about two weeks i think before the nastie burn.. wasnt going jump in to anything new for a relationship but met someone whos realy great while i was working my night job as a watress and been doing good with him for about three months
ive got to say scence i dont right in y journal much it feels so off lol ... guess need practice.;)
oh my boyfriend builds cell phone towers just fyi.. i never knew about how they went up or even notice them ,been real fun learning about his job .. alot of dangourse things he does and his crew workers .. we had alot of tower crews come thru they have alot of sacrafices they make in there lives .. and work 7 days a week.. they go in as earlie as five depending on the crue and seen them work as long as night fall .. when there done they love to just relaxe hav e fun and enjoy there free time. they get nuts to juist to unwind.. cant blame them one bit .
meeting him got me to make the choice that i do need to start in a new place so me and the kids are going to go to anouther state and restart ..
watressing doesant pay at all in a town of 3500 people depending on tips will starve ya..and at 3. an hour the pay check dont add up..
no opertunties
for work and kids will start school and me working nights well yea cant contunie not seeing my kids and sacraficing bieng with them ..
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12:43:06 PM EDT
isnt life grand right
ok been for ever scnce i wrote in this so well start at when things got fun . yea right lol .
this was taken some where in december the day of the ice storm i just got my ex moved out to start a new life of not bieng locked in a prison . it had been maybe three days scence i moved him out . and was building a fire in the earth stove . left the door craked to get it going and was standing in front of it to keep warm when the door came open , a peice of wood was pressed up aginest it so was waighted down . and fell on the back of my legs ,. wow di d that feel goo hehe. well it didnt .
that night eneded up being real fun the ice storm hit it was so cold and not able to were nothing but shorts to do chores was realy intresting to say the least hehe. we had all these trees come crashing down t o it was a mess
i did finally heal . which took a bad infection first iwas stuck at home for three dys went to the doctors five days latter to find out i had an enfection . got it taken care of but was still none the less pain full for two months and now i have my own tattoes there weather i wanted it or not hehe
well lets see winted did lift i healed and removed alot of the trees that fell down . ,
still working on some .
i have been working part time this hole time . that wasnt good the income hasnt been what it should to make it . i still have what i can giong but very minumal . i picked up a secound and third job now i start on e toinght the other one i start latter this week . should get me back on track bad thing is my land lorddeced to take advantage of the hole thing today .and i owe back rent on the house. which he kept saying it was fine well i found out why today it was fine he was conteplating on having me trade my past due rent for favors . oh no way now im relay pissed . and so un easy at home now . and not sure what i can even do about it . people do suck . sometimes.
well i siad enough for now im just not good typing in this lol . but had to do it somewere before i found a high cliff to say hello to haha......
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10:23:38 PM EDT
OK I finally got this to add to the journal ...
not a great shot but yea my tat is done for now .
Next winter I get to add the caves in the back ground should take all winter lmao .
sorry it took so long aol isnt very nice when it comes to adding piks anymore.
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11:12:03 PM EST
Feeling Quiet
Hearing washing machine...........
And its almost april
HEY! look I remeber I had a journal . ! wow LOL >
Ok this was taken about the 1st of march . It is the third sesion . I think Im getting burnt out on going back . I have 2 hours left in to it and it has been at least 16 hours put in to .
I dont regret it I think it looks awsome, hm but bieng done would be nice . lol .
We were snowed in last week it was a mess my car was completly burried in the snow .
see lookie ..........lol I wasnt going anywhere .
IN febuary my daughter went on her first dance , she was so exited .
She was even more exited when I picked her up and she told me she got 2nd in the dance off. . lmao thats my girl .
School is almost out , THat means summer is just about here . I can not waight .
Ive got plans this year . I hope FIrst I have alot of work ahead . fences need mending kennales need cleard out and concreat poured . I have 2 months to get it done .
As soon as the sun is out long enough . Ill be putting in 16 hours days at least on my days off. . I always love it too . I have the winter to relaxe. scence I cant move to much at this time . and then can let all my energy back out when I can .
OK I think I am caught up now . not much that happens in the winter lol .
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6:32:45 PM EST
Is IT monday ?
OK . I know its not monday ,but it sure feels like it .
Im suppose to be at work but had a mishap from the school .
I get a call from day care telling me they do not no where 2 of my kids are. (Panick hits right there )
I get off the phone try to call the bus barn no answer . errrrrrr .
Tell my boss my kids are missing go to go look for them and off I go .
First to the bus barn . its locked . Then to the school . I run in . ( litterly ) Find out they didnt throw the note away from yesterday and sent them home. Ok its now 4:00 pm the bus drops the kids off at the house between 4:10 pm and 4:20 pm . the house is 20 min away . So I fly out of the school . and speed to my house. I m there at 4:15 no kids yet . wheew . they get home and then I have to call work and tell them I wont be able to make it back in tell 6:00 pm . So yea I need to go back in . oK I swear its monday . I do relise some people are ok with leaving there kids hom e. , bUt I am not . THats just something I do not do and will not do .
and the brighter side. I go in I think saturday to finish my tat . I cant waight . now for the color hehe. and then it will be done . I always did hate something not finished.
aww now its time to head out yet agian . I do love putting 80 miles in to go to work lol not .
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10:28:40 PM EST
Feeling Quiet
ditierd . and no sleep will come
Well ive decided . to start yet agian on a journal . why ? I do not know . but only having an hour sleep scence 6:00 am yesterday can make you do silly things.
aw how id love to say it was from having fun and that I had no one to blame but my self . but my lack of sleep is from a thank less job .under paid that loves to schedule the oddest schedules. I worked tell 8:30 pl last night after getting all the stuff I needed for home that I couldnt do before work it was 10:00pm by the time I walked in . I was tired but wound up I can never sleep right after work . I knew I would have to be up at 3:00 am to arrive to work at 5:00 am . So at 11:00 pm I crawled in to bed aching and feet throbing . I would sleep fo 20 min and wow there I was awake . this countiued tell 2:00 am and the alarm blared at 3:00 am . well I pulled my shift dingy as hell . lol gave the costmers a good laugh even joged to my car after filling it up . How I could find the energy is beyound me .
I got home at2:30 pm did my chores fed the kids and about 7:30 pm felt my self drifting so I left the dad in charge !
Ha ha ha what was I thinking . shortly as I layed down Kids started running up to my door pass him who was oblivouse to all the rukus they were slamming in to the door . Ok I can sleep thru this I thought . Yea I probably could of then he was talking so loud ( the dad ) making as much noise as He could . the kids were throwing a golf ball up aginst my door . and still I was to tired to move or say anything . but I could not sleep . was loosing hope all together , finally phone rang hes talking quitly on the phone kids go upstairs like magic . once agian I thought oh yea finnally . my bed is a mess from tossing and turning my mind is full of things that wont stop . but still I am finding hope that slumber is close by . BAMB! upstairs bedroom door slams k thud they are dropping things on there florr right above me. OMG! I cant take it so an hour and a half after I lay down I get up just in time to tuck the kids in and relize I am not going to sleep .
Now ive been up 1/2 an hour the house has been quite no doors slaming and guess what im wide awake lmao! just my luck
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