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12:22:00 PM EDT
Feeling Surprised
Hearing A Love Song for Bobby Long soundtrack
MILF
If you haven't seen A Love Song for Bobby Long, watch it. It's on HBO these days. John Travolta is amazing with white hair and so Grayson Capp's music is divine. That's my plug for the day. I don't get paid for it.
Recently I learned a word--an acronym really--that I'd never heard before. Apparently everybody on the planet, including my exceptionally sheltered homeschooled kids and a tiny ancient grandmother living in the deepest part of the Amazon rainforest as well as political prisoners in Russian prisons, know of this acronym, but I'm just now learning of it. I'm sure anybody reading this has heard of it as well and will snort with juicy derision and painful disbelief that I have lived this many years and never heard of a MILF. I'm sure I've mentioned what a loser I am before.
I don't need to tell you what MILF means, right? Because you all know and you've all met many of them. They must be all over the place if they deserve their own widely recognized acronym. MILF.
Stevie's dad says they used that term when he was growing up. Now we grew up in small boring towns in Iowa just 40 miles apart, so we tend to speak the same language as much as Mars and Venus can. So I'm not only surprised that he knew that word when he was still wanking to the Sears catalog, but I happen to know that nobody in southwest Iowa--not even the horniest of teenage horndogs--nobody was talking about doing somebody's mom. Moms didn't do it in the 70s.
OK, there was The Graduate, but we all watched that because it was science fiction. Not that part about plastics. The part about the guy coming home from college and being seduced by a mom. Moms didn't do that, even in Hollywood. Not in the 70s. Moms weren't sexy until...oh, I don't know...maybe the late 80s. And then only Hollywood moms were sexy--Demi Moore...Yep, just Demi Moore. I think that let loose the floodgates on the sexy mom issue.
However, just because a mom is sexy, that doesn't mean her kids' friends should want to shag her. They should want her to drive them to soccer and make Kool-aid for them and kiss their boo boos, but not kiss their noodles or even their milk-mustached mouths. That's disgusting. (Note: That's "MILK" mustache not "MILF" mustache.)
Obviously, I'm not a MILF and I have no ambitions toward becoming one. I dye my hair to look younger, yes, but not that much younger. (Don't I wish!) My kids' friends expect me to stock the refrigerator and shock them with a well-rehearsed expletive, but they don't want to tap this.
And I have to ask, since you all know what a MILF is. Why aren't there FILFs? Can't dads be sexy?
Nevermind.
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I hate, hate, hate that acronym and hated it most of all when I became the recipient of it. Why? Should I be flattered to be masturbatory fantasy fodder? Ick. As if it matters what some guy thinks my fu**ability factor is? As women are categorized according to such rot we're supposed to blush and smile and feel...what? Complimented? Go away, little boy, you bother me.
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Good point, except my son's friends all call me "Mom." Would you want to do somebody you call "Mom"? (Please say no!) I can't be a MILF!
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And you know you are not a MILF because...?
Because your boy's friends were going to tell you?
3/31/08 1:25 PM
check it out..mostly randomness of my everyday life and i am glad i am not the only one that doesn't like that term!!
http://journals.aol.com/andrb