Thoughts of a Not-So Teenage Girl

And I wish I had because now I've forgotten most of what I was going to write about.  Except that I remember it had to do with boys.  And what better way to get into the Valentine spirit!?!

Chad--my best friend's boyfriend, and one of my best friends.  I've had a crush on him since he first started talking to me.  Go figure, though, that the first words out of his mouth to me were about his (now) girlfriend--my best friend.  That's what our relationship was based on--until I realized I liked him.  Since then I've worked so hard to get him to think of me as a seperate person from her.  Which is hard--since we are best friends, and together all of the time.  I've gotten his family to love me.  (Admittedly, in hopes that his sister would one day bring it up at the dinner table:  "Why aren't you going out with Shirlyn?  She's so cool.  And y'all get along so well.")  When they started going out a month ago, I figured the three of us would stop being friends--but of course not.  Then for two days he seemed completely unappealing.  He's so smitten with her.  I was like, "I am so glad that I don't have to deal with someone so clingy."  Lately, though, I don't know what it is, but he's just so cool again.  I was sitting with his sister yesterday, (who, come to think of it, he doesn't care for.  So why would her opinion at the dinner table matter to him anyway?) and she said, "I must admit, I always thought it would be you and Chad going out.  Don't get me wrong, I like Rebecca and all, but y'all just get along so well."  (She's not the first person to have said that.)  I just explained to her that no matter what I do--or anyone else for that matter--he has eyes for none but her.  So she was like, "Typical."  Therefore, it seems that there's no hope for me until two years from now (because his last relationship lasted for a year and a half).

What's so appealing about Rebecca, anyway?  I feel bad, because she and I are best friends...But I seriously MUST ask the question.  Sure, she's skinnier than me, and nicer, and smart.  But she has no personality...She's shy.  How can that be appealing?  He and she don't even talk.  And she always seems SO disinterested in EVERYTHING!  Not music, not movies...She only ever seems to show emotion when she's angry at something.  Like this girl we work with, Alex, who sits on her butt and does NOTHING!  She's only ever into gossip. (Which is odd, considering the little halo she wears on her head.)  Anyway...I know I'm jealous, but it's my journal.  Deal with it.

And then there's this other guy...André*...Whose name is so...French.  Even though it's French-Canadian...which...I know...doesn't really count.  But still...it's FRENCH!  He is so CHARMING!  But he's SO mean!  He insults everyone he meets...On purpose...For his own humor.  It's so annoying, and he can be so cruel.  The other day he called me ugly.  So I told him, "I can deal with you calling me stupid.  I can almost deal with fat jokes.  But I WILL NOT let you call me ugly.  That's mean, and cruel."  I doubt he heard me, but I dare him to do it again.  Then he can turn around and be so nice, and so charming.  That very day even, that he called me ugly, we were getting along the best we had since the fight we had two weeks prior when he claimed that he hated me with all of the passion in his heart.  He's also taken...And I doubt that anything will ever come of us (I'm sure our relationship is beyond repair.) It doesn't even matter that it does...I just need something to hold on to while I wait for the next guy to come along...  But I don't see why this one has to be so vicious.

Otherwise, I've given up FanFiction for Lent.  And before anyone gets started...No, I am not Catholic.  At my old high school, there are a lot more Catholics than I actually thought there would be in the South, and so Ash Wednesday, you can see them all marked with the ash on their forehead, and you learn that a lot of Catholics stick together, and then that their non-Catholic friends tend to give up something in support of their Catholic friends.  Then it became a trend.  So my sister and I give up something annually.  Last year I gave up cursing, the year before I gave up soda.  This year, it's FanFiction--and I am dying!  I didn't realize how much I loved it until I had to give it up.  Well, this isn't the first time I've had to give it up.  I had to give it up when we first lost the internet a few years ago.  It was hard then too, but it's even harder now that I have the internet sitting right in front of me.  It's the difference between typing in a URL address, and writing in my journal. 

Therefore, for the past two weeks, I have been reading The Other Boleyn Girl, which is AMAZING!  I highly recommend it to anyone who loves a good historical romance/drama.  It all has to do with Henry VIII, Anne Boleyn, and her sister Mary.  There will be a movie coming out Feb. 29th, for anyone who hates to read literature so much that they'd rather not read the SparkNotes.  (I suppose that person wouldn't be reading this either, but...Oh well.)  Anyway, I feel for Anne about the same that I feel for André, except that I hate Anne even MORE.  She's awful.  I'm at the part where she's taken Mary's son from her.  OMG!  I'm with Mary.  I would NEVER be able to forgive my sister if she did such an underhanded thing as STEAL MY SON from me!  And then to THREATEN to take him from me!?!  WTF is wrong with her?  Obviously, she's never had children, because she obviously doesn't understand.  I mean, I haven't had children and I still understand.  Anne Boleyn was heartless.

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