PURPOSE

well, only four more weeks left of school this year. and it sure is exhausting. i felt comforted when my friend keeli called yesterday and left me a message that said it would be like that as the year winds down and to not fret because everyday would probably be a battle with my students because they are getting antsy for summer. i feel like pulling my hair out sometimes and i just try and make it through each day and can hardly believe i survived when the day is over and i am on my way home...which was a little bit late today because i had no planning periods today due to meetings and substituting for another teacher. which meant i needed to stay late and do those things that i would have done earlier.

so, rachel had given me a challenge. i tried to make her pinky swear that if i accepted her challenge that God would indeed give me the answers i was seeking. she wouldn't pinky swear on what God would or would not do. and i don't blame her ;) but, i am confidant that i will get an answer. will it be the exact one i am looking for...probably not. that is kind of how things work in my life. but, any answer at this point is much desired. i feel like i need some really clear direction and a clean slate in my heart about who i am and who God wants me to be and what He wants me to accomplish for Him and what my giftings and callings are and well, just about everything...i just want and need a clean slate...a brand new start. not forgetting all the valuable things God has taught me through all my experiences, but a fresh adventure to go on with those things tucked away for reference.

did i mention i think i am going to go to guatemala in june for some missions work? well, i am i think. i have to raise the money though cause i don't have much extra to be spending on the ticket and such. but, if God wants me to go...the money will be provided for me somehow.

tomorrow night is our annual comedy dinner theater at church. our entire family, immediate and extended will be there. well, at least all the family in this area anyway. we always have a good time. it is a 1960s theme...good music, good laughs, good food and not too proper...which makes it so much fun!

i gots to call josh tomorrow and see if he will go to county line with me saturday night for some line dancing and mud bogging. i could use some good ol' country fun this weekend...cut loose and have some good clean fun. maybe i will text message josh now. good idea. ok, i'm rambling...

oh, i'm reading this book...the money book for the young, fabulous and broke. good title, eh? i'm young and broke...so, maybe if i follow the helpful tips in it, i can unbroke and fabulous! it's time i really started thinking about the future as if it is just going to be me. i have alwasy assumed that i wouldn't be worrying about the economics of my life by myself when i grew up and it's just not working out the way i thought. so, i need to change my mind set and think as if i'm it and i need to take care of this stuff myself. i've got a lot to learn still. i think some things i have buried my head in the sand and ignored because i didn't want to learn about them and now i am realizing that i can't do that forever waiting for a dream that is highly likely to never occur in my life. so, here's to learning some new things and living a new life!

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