Archives
Hatred defined
I don't like the word "hate". As a matter of fact, I actually really don't even know that I've ever before known the true definition of "hate", until recently.
I hate my ex-husband. I hate him for the things he has done to me and my daughter. I hate him for the person he has chosen to become. I hate him because he had so much potential & he chose to be a drug addict. I hate him because he has been the ultimate disappointment as a father. I hate him for what he puts my daughter through. I hate him for what she will go through when she is old enough to really realize what he is. I hate him because I can still vaguely remember what he was like before the light in his eyes was gone. I hate him because he genuinely doesn't care about his own child. I hate him because he absolutely CANNOT tell the truth. I hate him because I believed for so long that he was a good person underneath it all. I hate him because he fooled me. I hate him because he has done nearly anything & everything possible to make my life harder. I hate him because he has not done right by my daughter since the day of our separation. I hate him because I have to tell people what a deadbeat he is. I hate him because that embarrasses me. I hate him because he turned out to merely be a "sperm donor." I hate him because my daughter cries sometimes because she doesn't understand why she can't see him. I hate him because I don't really have an answer. I hate him because I shouldn't have to have one. I hate him because she knows she can't believe anything he says. I hate him because he has let her down, time after time, without so much as an inkling of conscience.
This is what hate feels like. I hate him for making me hate him.
nesbitt023 at 12:03:00 AM CDT Blog about this entry |
Add to del.icio.us | 
digg this
-
I could have written that entry. I don't know how long it has been for you since you split up but for me it has been 5 years. The way I got over my ex was by living the life that he had prevented me from having when I was with him. I have filled my life with joy and success and happiness and at first it was an attempt to get back at him, a way for revenge, that he wasn't strong enough to bring me down. And now it has become a way to not need him anymore. The sad truth is he has nothing to give so I seek not and am not disappointed. I am still looking for a stepdad for my daughter to replace him. He cannot be fixed and the liberating thing is that I no longer have to try to fix him. He is nothing to me, nothing to my daughter. He is nothing. Can't hate nothing!
~Heidi
http://journals.aol.com/whirlygirlie66/WHIRLYGIRL/ -
I hate him too. Almost as much. For a long time, I hated him more. I think we're on the same page now. I hate him because of the way he treated you after Lexie was born. I hate him because he was a lousy husband and is an even worse father. I hate him because he's a liar, a thief, a cheater, a drug addict, a drunk and a loser. He's total scum. I hate him because he stalked you. He spied on you. He accused you of things that weren't true. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. My only hope is Karma is coming to get him. And soon.
11/20/06 7:45 PM