Notions of Nancy

This is the follow up of a recent entry on my new friend, Mimi...which can be found here.

My mission was to find this woman and invite her out for mother's day.  I had recalled the name of the trailer park in which she lived and called the main number several days ago.  I left a message for them to please give my phone number to Mimi and I gave some descriptions.   After not hearing anything, and mother's day soon approaching...I pleaded with Stu to take a ride to the town where that trailer park was located.   So yesterday, the "Mimi Mission" continued.

It turned out that the trailer park was more like a neighborhood development with many, MANY homes within it.   I drove around and began asking anyone I saw standing outside if they knew of this woman.  No luck.

I thought as hard as I could about any details I could recall from our conversation at "Subway".   I started putting some pieces together and tried to decipher which trailer decorations seemed "Mimi-like".  No luck.

Then I found an elderly man and asked HIM.   He told me that he knew just about everyone within a certain radius and if she had been there as long as I thought, then she'd be in a certain neighborhood of the park...the part he didn't know well.   Our search continued.

I found another elderly person...this time a woman named Trudy.   As I gave more and more information about Mimi, she began to show signs of knowing her.   Soon she shouted, "Oh yes! I ride the bus with her sometimes!"   I almost jumped out of the car and hugged her.

She pointed us in the direction of where she thought Mimi was...and although she knew the street, did not know which trailer she owned.  But that was plenty of information for me.   I drove to the street, parked the car, and began knocking on doors.   No luck.

At some point, I spotted an almost abandoned looking trailer, and slowly walked towards the door.   I just knew she lived there.   The closer I got, the more sure I became.   As I stood there ringing the bell, and no one was answering, I gazed around the side of the trailer.   There on the ground was an old wooden sign bearing her family name. 

I began screaming..."It's HER!  It's HER!".  I motioned over to Stu and the dogs, who were sitting in the car...."This is it! She lives here!"  I began jumping up and down, not caring who might be watching.

Soon a neighbor man appeared.  I confirmed what I already knew by asking him if Mimi lived here.   He told me that indeed she did, and that the woman he lives with just took Mimi for a ride to run some errands!

So I went to my car, and jotted down a note with my phone number and left it with the neighbor to give to her.   Mission accomplished!

Or so I thought.

We continued our day's errands for the next several hours.   (I only checked the home machine once...but no word from Mimi).   When we arrived home, I ran inside and sure enough, the answering machine light was blinking.  Lo and behold...Mimi called.

It was a sweet message, wondering how on earth I had found her, sending me love, and leaving me her phone number.   Later that night, I called her back.

The talk was everything I had hoped.   It was warm, funny, sweet, and she admitted to having no plans for mother's day.  We had agreed that I would try to find us a restaurant to take her to, but if everything was booked, than we would just come over for tea or coffee. 

I got out the phone book and called places.  I was able to get us a reservation at a nice local place for 5pm on Mother's day.   It just couldn't get much more perfect.   Let me remind you....Mimi lost her daughter named Nancy, who was my age.  Mimi was born within a week of the exact birth date of my mother...who I lost a few years ago too.     I went to bed very happy...perhaps the happiest I've been the night before mother's day....since I lost my Mom.

The next morning, I received a phone call from Mimi.   It was short and to the point.   Mimi was invited to relatives andshe could not meet.   She simply said, "Maybe I'll see you around town sometime".

I hung up the phone and felt like someone punched me in the gut.  I literally got light headed.   What had just happened?   And WHY?  I was immobilized for a little while, unaware of what I was feeling.   The thoughts and possibilities that filled my head were plentiful.   I wasn't confident that Mimi was truly busy.   

As I began to tell Stu what she said...after he asked me several times....I began to cry.   I swear to you I wasn't even sure why.  But the tears kept coming and the sadness of the day came crashing in on me.

I must admit something.   My reaching out to Mimi was nice for Mimi I'm sure.  But it was also very much for ME.  I needed her as much as I wanted to believe that she needed me...perhaps more.    

Mimi, for a brief time, helped me to forget about my own pain and replace it with thoughts that I was cheering somebody up....doing a good deed.    Perhaps it was more selfish than I had realized.   If it were pure, I would not have fallen apart when she canceled.

I'm sure I will run into many more "Mimi's" in my life.  And I will continue to reach out...for it is in my blood.   

But I will always remember that nothing is ever selfless really.  And I will also remember that no act of kindness will ever take away the pain of missing the most precious and wonderful woman I've ever known...my mom.

Happy Mother's Day to you Mom, and also to Mimi...

and to all the mothers out there who have touched a child's heart as deeply as my mom touched mine. 

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I got a new job!   

And I start this (THIS) Monday, May 12th.   I have so many feelings that I just wish I could turn off.   It's just that I haven't worked full time for about 8 years and during that time I've been doing counseling.    This new position, besides being full time...is not really counseling, but more like assessing people's needs and referring them to the best therapist or agency for their specific needs.   I will also be doing some trainings and a little bit of traveling, which I truly look forward to doing!   The position allows for me to use my creativity in various ways and that can be very exciting to me.

I've seen my office already and it's rather nice.   In fact, it's probably the nicest office I've ever had.   Geez, there's even a fireplace in it!  Ok, so it probably can't be used, but it sure sets a nice mood.   And there are windows!  What a concept.   I just can't wait to put stuff up on the walls, cute stuff on the desk, etc.   As an "American Idol" fan....I guess you can say I want to "make it my own"!  lol

Although I will be working for a huge organization, I will be located in an old charming house with just a few workers.   It could be a nice way to have the intimacy of a small department with the perks of a larger agency.

Can you tell I'm trying to talk myself into being optimistic?  The truth is... I'm petrified.

Needless to say, I may not be around as much to read and comment.    So please forgive me in advance.  

Wish me luck!!

Love,

Nancy

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Hey you guys,

I have a journal friend who everyone calls "Dad".   He's in his mid 90's and has been journaling for years now.   He's very into growing his tomatoes, but Dad also talks a lot about one's attitude.    If you check him out, you will find him to be very inspirational.  I'm sure he'll make you smile...

And SPEAKING of smiles..... Dad asks everyone to smile every day.... it means a lot to him that people stay positive.    So now, after one of my comments, Dad and I are asking all you good folks to send him photos of yourselves smiling!

Please consider doing this.  It's not a whole lot to ask and it would make him (and myself!) very, very happy.   If nothing else, how about going over and paying him a little visit.  THANKS!!  Here's his link:  Dad

Oh, and here's the photo I sent over to him...

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My friend  Martha and I have been having a discussion about the meaning of friendship.   It is something that I've been struggling with myself, so I decided to ask her opinion on the subject.    We both decided to post an entry on it.

At first, the answer may seem quite simple to you....

"Someone who accepts you.... someone who's there for you when you need them...someone you trust", etc.   

But it seems to me that rarely, if ever, can any one friend can fulfill all our varied definitions of friendship.   So I would like to ask YOU to please define what YOU call a friend.

For myself, it seems that there are different friends for different reasons.   There are different definitions for friends.  But most importantly...there are different LEVELS of friendship...and different friends for different things.    Yet the word is simple, and it's often simply thrown around, as in, "I consider you to be my friend".    We've all heard that...especially in the land of journals.

But for me, if someone is a friend, they may not always be available when I need them, but they are sure I am given the means in which to reach them.  A friend to me, is someone that I can trust will eventually (sooner than later) get back to me when they are able...AFTER finding out the level of urgency on my part.   If I'm just bursting at the seams wanting to share something wonderful, it can wait.  If I'm feeling sad or physically sick, and need a little TLC, I can wait till they have time.  But if I'm falling apart and barely able to function for whatever reason....they will be there ASAP.   (Of course, it this becomes frequent...there is a problem for sure).

A friend, to me, is also someone who feels comfortable enough to reach out to me when they are in need.

Again, what about "online friends"?  I've come to accept that they are just that.   And that's a wonderful, beautiful thing.    An "O.F", if you will, is someone who shares in my joys and sorrows....shares them with me...but in a written form only...and only when convenient.    If I can accept that, then all is fine.   It's when I get an "OF" confused with something more, than I become hurt or disappointed. 

I fully believe that many people want to believe that they are more than an "OF", but are unable to offer more than that to too many people.  And truthfully, that's the way it should be.   Once in a while, an "OF" turns into a deeper level of a friend.  You know, it begins with an instant message, then the exchange of phone numbers...and maybe even a chance meeting.   Those are the different levels that can evolve from an online friendship.

So I guess my question is not only "What do you consider a friend to be""...but also, "How do you differentiate between an online friend and something more than that.?"

Please leave your feedback...I really would like to hear from you.  After all, you ARE my friend, right?       ; )

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Hi guys,

Many of you have commented that you don't get HBO, some declaring themselves "too cheap".   Well, truth be told...I didn't have HBO either.    So here's an inside tip:

You can call you cable company and ask them if you could have a free month trial of HBO before making a decision about keeping it.  That's what I did.  They not only said yes, but threw in Cinemax too for the month!  So that's how I have HBO for this documentary.

Obviously, it's probably not going to be as important to you to get it, but when autism strikes 1 out of every 150 children, it's bound to affect most of us somehow.

I was also told that if you go to HBO.com on your computer, you can see it through a video streaming, though I'm not sure how that is done.

Good luck!  And hey, if all else fails, it will be for sale in a few months!    ; )

Nancy

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Hi everyone,

Some of you may know that we have a wonderful niece named Lexington who is Autistic.    (She sang at our wedding ceremony!)   She is such a special young lady and we love her to pieces.  

About 1 and 1/2 years ago, we went to the "Tribeca Film Festival" in NYC to see the premiere of a documentary that Lexi was in....and we were so proud!   It is called "Autism:  The Musical" and Lexi is one of the main kids in it.   Besides showing the making of a musical, it explores the lives of the children in it.   Stu's sister, Hillary is in it too.   Like I said, we couldn't be more proud.

Autism is so very prevalent, and at this point, there is no cure.   However, this Documentary focuses more on the strengths of these children than anything else and it is quite inspiring.

I would love it if you were able to watch it's HBO Premiere tomorrow night (Tues. 3/25) at 8PM.   I do realize that it is playing while American Idol is on...so if possible, maybe you can tape one or the other.   It's really that good.

If any of you are able to watch it, please shoot me an email and let me know your thoughts.

I will attach some links, as well as some photos of Lexi...our special niece!

Here we are at my wedding!

HBO: Autism: The Musical

Click here: Autism the Musical

(And if you really want to be AMAZED, click on the link below, and watch the video!)

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