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Weekend Assignment #142: Your Christmas/Holiday gift is the ability to expunge one highly annoying yet popular Christmas/Holiday song from the history of the world. Which one is it?
John's latest assignment asks us to name our most un-favorite Christmas song. Well, I love music, and I love Christmas, so it stands to reason that I would like most of the songs of the season. And I do. Except one.
'SANTA BABY'
Ugh. and Ugh again. Every time I hear this song I wince. And feel nauseous. And am embarrassed to be a member of the female sex. If this is what women are supposed to be about at Christmas, than I am moving to Trinidad, Colorado and applying for a sex change.
For starters, the lyrics are dreadful: I want a ring. I want a car. I want a yacht .... I wanna, I Wanna, I WANNA. Awful. The sad truth is that I have known women like this. I once attended a Christmas Eve celebration where a woman pitched a fit because she didn't get a piece of jewelry she felt particularly entitled to. She did everything short of falling to the floor, flailing her arms and holding her breath. When I watched this little display of hysterics, I smiled inwardly, gloating that she wasn't going to get her coveted prize. And then the unspeakable happened. The man in question finally produced said piece of jewelry. Whereupon she jumped up, snatched it from his hands with her grubby little mitts, and danced around the room, showing it off. I wanted to give the guy a lecture about the perils of negative reinforcement. But I have a feeling that he has since learned that lesson on his own.
The other thing that bothers me about this song is the delivery. It seems that no matter who sings it, it is in this artificially whiny, highpitched, ' I'm dumb but I'm real sexy' voice. I don't care what the artist sounds like otherwise, when they sing this one, it's a prerequisite that they attempt to sound brainless and alluring at the same time ( I think that's an oxymoron. Or something. ) This I don't get. I mean, 'boo-doo-bee-doo' ? Pleeeeeze. I can't imagine that many (any?) men would find that sort of thing appealing. What guy would hear this and think that it's a turn-on? Say it isn't so, guys. PLEASE.
Extra Credit: Fruitcake: Ever actually eat any? No .... you don't know where that fruitcake has been.
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That song is pretty annoying, but the one that is like fingernails-on-a-chalkboard for me is Jose Feliciano's Feliz Navidad. HATE IT.
Anna -
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I am wearing a shirt that says "Fruitcake" across the front. Does that count for something?
Happy Holidays!
Martha :-) -
That song and the dogs barking Jingle Bells are equally horrid to me.
Fruitcake? Only if it is so full of liquor that it drips. Otherwise it makes a great garden gnome pedestal.
Robert
12/24/06 1:56 PM
love,natalie