So What Now?

11:06:32 PM EDT
Feeling Happy
Hearing hockey is on tv

It's a good evening, dinner just freshly finished (rib eye steaks, yum), with a crisp autumn evening outside.  I love the coming of winter in the air, while harvest is all around and the land is gold and green.

I know I haven't written in a while, my sister Gina came for a visit, and that was wonderful.  She was here two weeks, and we had a good time.  She loves the area, and I hope there is a way she and her family can move out.  But we all caught the Culbertson crud while she was here (that part wasn't so fun, lol)  But we got to share a lot of stories and jokes, and watch horrendously silly movies (an old silent french movie of Beauty and the Beast....so so bad, so so funny)...and she and Charles got to know each other as well.  She says I'm spoiled and that I'm a poodle....I disagree, I, if anything, am a pampered and cherished cat, LOL.  But I miss her, and can't wait till she can come visit again.  And I'd like my other sister to come out too...we'd have a great time as well!

The motel has been full of hunters, they seem to be having good luck and a better time.  We got Direct TV here at the motel, so 250+ channels, lol....but the guys seem appreciative, gives them something to watch in the evenings, and it's a better deal for us than the local cable company offered.  And we enjoy it too, lol.

Last month I flew out to California to see my parents, and that was a wonderful visit.   I could only stay for an evening, but I enjoyed every moment of it, and it was wonderful to see them.  I really needed to see them and hug them.  So many hurts of the heart were healed.

And God has been so merciful and loving, in that my Mom's cancer went into remission, and Dad's psa (cancer test stuff) went way down, and that is great.  His heart is still acting up a bit, but with God's help that will settle too.

Charles's son Charlie is coming out to visit and explore some possibilities, so some healing is being done there as well.  Deep wounds remain, but time and God will help with those, we know.

And we heard from a dear friend, half adopted family, as well,who is named Jim.  He and his beloved dog Sarah are off in Florida and doing well, and we rejoiced to here that.

A bountiful harvest abounds, it seems.

And Charles and I, who have wanted a child for some time now, are going to a doctor concerning it, but should nothing pan about with that, we'll start the process of adoption.  We would delight in sharing our lives here with a child.  But for those of you that do, your prayers are appreciated :)

So that is where we are, and we're looking forward to the coming season.  It feels as if we have been placed here by our Loving God, everything feels right and we are so content.  We feel so blessed, and hope to share and pass on those blessings.

Our Church, our beloved Bethel Community, has opened a Clothing Closest in the basement of our motel, and the town has been so so very generous in it's donations of coats and sweaters, etc.  Many coats and sweaters have been handed out for free to the needy already, and we anticipate the need will only grow.  Many thanks to all who have donated, you are making a difference!

Well, Charles is wanting to talk, lots of things, all good things, going on....so I'll sign off for now....I'll add some pictures as well, more of this area, this beautiful countryside in which we dwell.

God bless to all.

 

ps...picture guide-1. View of countryside a couple of weeks ago 2-8, pictures taken on a day trip with our dear friend Mark, who took us out to the confluence of the Missouri and Yellowstone Rivers, and then to Fort Union (the big while and red building) and to Fort Buford.  In pic 8 is a shot of Mark in the background and me up front.  Picture 9 is of my dashing wonderful husband Charles....

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7:03:19 PM EDT
Feeling Happy
Hearing Wide Mix of music on

It's been a good month, business has been going well, and Charles has started his bus route.  (We bought a school bus route...buses aren't owned by the schools here....very different that in Calif)  And he and the kids seem to be hitting it off well.  I have that darn sinus/ear infection coming back, and yet again am avoiding the doctor, which is stupid I know...but I'll get there again soon.  Our fur kids are all well, etc so life is pretty good.

Mom's medical tests have come back clean, so that was a relief.  And Dad's coming back from his stroke really well.  News from around the family is all positive, which is a very nice change.  I might have a sister moving out here (she's coming to visit on the 25th to check the area out) and that really tickles me.

But...when life is going well, it gives you lots of time to think, lol.  We're doing our Tuesday afternoons at the Food Bank...and think we've found a program that will get more free food for the Food Bank, now it just comes down to paperwork.  There is such need in this area, though many don't like to admit it.  About 40% of the people coming in weekly are new sign ups...and with an iffy harvest this year, I fear this winter will be hard on many.  The Food Bank is run by a committee, who doesn't want to use commodities..because some volunteers didn't like the paperwork, and I admit, I got very frustrated, shall we say, at the concept of not taking free food, just because of a few forms.  Paperwork should NEVER get in the way of helping people.

Where there is need, how do you not go the extra few steps? 

The Lending Closet (a place where people can get free clothes, household goods, etc) should be up and running around the 18th of this month.  And some of us are hoping we can provide free meals a few times a month (maybe as often as once a week)...

We were at a Chamber of Commerce meeting today, and some people seemed genuinely surprised to hear about the need in the community.  I think it can be too easy to assume because you and your friends are doing well, that all around you are just fine.  When really, you just have to look closely, to see struggle and need.

This is a town where most people profess to be Christians, and it is, in truth a lovely place to live.  Very safe, very polite, very caring when they know there is need.  But perhaps a bit hesitant to come out of their shells to seek out the need and reach out to it.

Very like America, actually.  Here, as a self professed mainly Christian nation, we're safer than most countries, politer than most (not counting our northern cousins), and seeing that most people in the world wish that they could live here...we must be pretty appealing.  We're generous to the world, whether the world wants to acknowledge it or not, and most of the time we, as a country, try and defend the little guy, liberate the downtrodden, and do what we think is right.

Which is all well and good.  But sometimes, I think, we need to worry about those within our own borders as well as those in far off countries.

For we have poor and hungry here.  Lots and lots of them.  Even in small friendly towns like Culbertson. 

We have people who feel desperate, over finances and emotional issues.  And we often try and glaze over everything, and say it will all work out.  Even in small towns like ours.  We don't want to look at some of the hard problems people are going through, because maybe it causes us to have to look closer at ourselves and our own families.

Our country has an astounding divorce rate.  Broken families are more common in many places than families where the parents stay married.  I was the only one of my friends growing up who had both my parents still married to each other.  And now we tell people to give up easily on marriage...if it doesn't work out easily, give up and try again.  Hey, we say, you're just not compatible.  It's okay...the right person is out there, go find them.  What crap.  We've forgotten to tell people that marriage can be hard, that you work it out, you get counseling before separations.  And I'm not talking about abusive situations here, just people who get itchy feet and a longing for other pastures.  But if we say we are faithful in our religious calling, that also means picking a moral stance on what we see in our lives, and the lives around us, and encouraging ourselves, our spouses, our neighbors to follow God's route, not mainstream media's.  Divorce might be mainstream in tv...it should not be in the Christian life.  And I know sometimes a partner wants out, wants that divorce and there is nothing the remaining spouse can do.  I'm not talking to the remaining spouse, but to the one who initiates it.  As Christians, even is small towns, especially in small towns, let's make a stand for the stability of marriage.

America is full of people who say they follow Christ, but would rather sit at home and condemn.  Condemn the single mother with three kids.  Condemn the man who goes to the bar at night.  Condemn the Protestant who's friends with a Catholic (or vise versa) or with a Muslim, Hindu, whomever.  And small towns, even small towns like Culbertson, have hints of that too.  We get so comfortable in our routines, our traditions, that we shun those who go outside them.  Heck, I've done it before.  Gotten my back up in a huff because I was presented with a new idea, or my routine got shuffled.  And then God smacked me over my "spiritual head" and told me to stop being a Pharisee.

Pharisees get comfortable.  Get set routines and traditions and get huffy if they have to change or alter them.  Pharisees make decisions in their heads and hearts over who is good people, and who is not.  Kinda like Santa's proverbial list...seeing who's naughty and nice.  I've been that kind of stuffy pain in the ass before.

Oops, I cussed.  Yeah.  I know.  It's not a good thing.  But it's one of my faults, and I know it.  I am a sinner, oh boy am I.  I don't hide it before God, and I'm not hiding it before you.  I cuss sometimes.  (Try not to, but sometimes old habits come up, you know.)  I'm not patient (but take comfort in that I don't think Paul was either.) I get angry too easily, don't always think the nicest things (but have gotten better about not saying them aloud!)...and if I'm not careful, I try to please those around me too much.

Wait you say...that last one isn't a big sin, if it's a sin at all, right?  It is if you're trying to please the people around you more than you focus on pleasing God.  It's a well planned trap of the devil, that you work on pleasing the world, and put God second, or third, maybe fourth.  I've done it before.  And found myself in a world of hurt.  Which is why I try and center my activities around doing what I feel is the Work God has set for me.  For if I do His work, then I'm not serving the world. 

For the Bible says you can only serve one Master, either God or the World.  And if you don't serve God....you don't get to spend eternity with Him.  You go that other place that not even Christians like to talk about.

You know the other place, right...Hell.  We like the idea of Heaven, and many pastors and priests today teach the heresy that though there is a Heaven, there isn't really a hell, that everyone will be okay in the end.  No.  No.  No.  If you're going to accept any of the Bible as truth, you have to buy it all.  It's not a "take a bit here, take a bit there" type of Book.  Yes, God is loving, and kind and merciful.  He has a plan for a perfect eternity for those who will accept Him, follow Him, love Him, and follow His commandments.  But here's the catch...you have to do those things to get that perfect eternity.  And if you don't go there...there is only one other destination.  I'm not claiming to really have a good idea of what Hell is like, I just don't know I don't want to go there.

So...that means I have to serve God, not the world.  It means I cannot be, CANNOT BE, a Pharisee.  I cannot be someone who delights in the letter of the law, but forgets the love of my God.  It means I cannot condemn the single mother, but that I must love her and try and help.  I cannot condemn the guy at the bar, but sit down and eat a meal with him.  Not being a Pharisee means that I have to accept change, and to reach out, that I am open about the fact I am a sinner and only by the Grace of Christ's death on the Cross am I redeemed.

Things like the food bank matter to me, because I never know when I am showing kindness to an angel.  I want to look at the need in Culbertson, and elsewhere, square on, because I know it is what my Lord wants me to do.  He wants me, He wants US all to see it, and reach out in His name.  Because a kindness done in Christ's name, however small that kindness may seem to you and I, might be the key that ignites someone's curiosity about Jesus.  We might be allowed the grace to plant a seed for God.  You, and I, are only saved because God used someone else to call us to Him.  Someone once said something to us, or did something for us, that made us want to know more about God. 

Use every chance, everyday, to plant a seed.  Some will flourish because they seek God and He will call them to Him.  Some will turn away from God and nothing will grow.  But at least the seed was sown.

We can only try.  We can only reach out.

Let us look need square on, and hold out a hand.

Let us speak the Word of God, even if it's uncomfortable.  Let us, with love, not endorse sin, but speak Truth.

Let us not get comfortable on our seats and wear the head dress of a Pharisee and keep our lists and laws and traditions.

Instead let us follow our Lord in love, out into the world, but not to be a part of it. Let us draw others to God by love and faith and truth.

Where are they?  Where are the needy?  Where are the hungry?  Where are the lost?

They are all around us.

Be a light, a beacon, to help show the way to Christ, and to Home.

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9:13:09 PM EDT
Feeling Happy
Hearing My Playlist is on

The Mood listing should read Happy AND Tired.

It's been a good day.

My dad went home from the hospital yesterday.  He's speaking better, and while he'll need speech therapy for some time, he won't need physical therapy.  He's on some new meds... a blood clot caused the stroke, so he's on blood thinners, and something for the arryithmia (sp?) but is feeling better.  We talked for a bit, and he sounds much better than he did.  I am a happy daughter.

And then today we went to the fair.  I love fairs.  Lots of color and stuff and booths and food and in most fairs rides.  This fair had rides, but I just didn't have a super good feeling about them...but that could have been what I ate for lunch talking too, lol...so who knows.  But it was fun, and I got two bags of cotton candy, and that was really good.  (I'm through one of them already, with Charles's help.) 

And now I am tired.  And sore.  I fell yesterday cleaning the room the cats terrorized, and hit the step on my bum, and now it hurts.  So I am going off to a softer seat to take advantage of the lemonade my dear husband is offering.

 

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2:27:15 AM EDT
Feeling Quiet
Hearing X-Files is On

This is a thought provoking website.....

http://upchucky.com/person.html

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2:23:50 AM EDT
Feeling Quiet
Hearing X-Files is on

I know it's been forever and a day since I've written...things have been good for the most part, but very hard in others, and I've just not spent much time on the computer.

Life in Culbertson is good, great even.  It's been hot lately, but then, all of America has been hot, I think.  No global warming, huh? 

Business has been good, God has been very good to us.  We're painting the motel, cause our painter turned out to be a flake.  Sigh.  And we got the new sign, but our sign install guy has been busy, so we're waiting for him to get un-busy and get over here.  Found homes for 4 kittens, keeping the little white one, Caspian.  He's adorable, and just finding out that he doesn't need to be a coward about everything.  We bought a school bus route contract, Charles will be driving that in the fall, and we bought an additional rental house here, and are buying some out east as well.  And Charles has found a supply of vending machines, so he's delighted and getting ready to contract with businesses throughout the area.

I was ill for a bit, 4 infections (sinus, ear, inner ear and tonsilitis)...some of it is better now, but a couple are hanging on, and I should just go back to the doctor.  (I hate going to the doctor.)  But for a while I just didn't feel like doing much at all, and it's taken some time to get back on my feet.

Church has been great.  We've made many wonderful friends, including the pastor and his wife (and his daughter)...we think the world of them.  We're in the process of formally joining, and that makes us very happy.

My family has been in turmoil for a bit.  My sister and my mother are aflutter, or were a flutter, because my oldest nephew joined the army.  But he seems happy, and is doing well, and we're very proud of him.  I know his mother and grandmother worry (and I will worry too once he is shipped over-seas) but I think they've both reached the point they're leaving Dustin in God's Hands, and what better place can there be?

The main thing I'm struggling with right now is my parent's health.  They both have cancer, though it looks now as though Mom's is in remission, we'll know more of that later on this next month though.  Dad's is quite serious, he's been battling this for years.  And two nights ago he had a stroke, and now has heart arrthymia (spelling?)....  One valve in his heartis blocked anyway (but they can't do surgery because of the cancer)...and they think this new heart condition might have caused the stroke.  He's in the hospital, and they're doing more tests tomorrow, so hopefully we'll know more soon.  He can't talk very well, and has a weakened side, but seems to have all his faculties about him.  I'm having a very hard time with this.  We're just getting back to good, and I'm so worried I'm going to lose him soon.

I know that this all has brought him closer to God, and for that I am grateful.  I would rather lose him now, with him a firm believer, than have him longer but with a weaker, or no faith, and not have him for eternity.  Paul instructs us to rejoice in everything, and I am finding that very hard right now.  The only thing I can rejoice in, is that my Dad has fallen in love with God and Jesus, and so that if/when he goes, he goes gently into God's Hands.  And that, as long as I hold strong to my faith, I will see him again in that time when all tears shall be dried.  And as much as that comforts me, the pain of being far away, the fear of losing him soon, still hurts.  For all we've been through, he's still my Dad, and I have always adored him.

So...that's where I am.  Besides just daily work, and the joy in our Church fellowship, I've not been up to too much.  I watch the news, and will every darkening day in the international news, I think..."Once day closer to Christ coming again."  With every example of war, with every showing of the hearts of men growing colder, with all the apostasy in the faith that is so open and abundant, I know we move closer to the Second Coming.  And that too, I find comfort and hope in.  It seems odd to find peace admist world conflict, but both Charles and I do.  But that, I think, is part of the Peace that Christ leaves those who believe in Him.

The one thing I have been working on with the computer is working on our Church website....it's still rough and needs fine-tuning, so be kind, but here it is:

www.bethelcommunitychurchofculbertson.com

That's about it for me.  I'll try and post more often.

Take care friends, and God Bless all of you.

 

Ps- the pictures are of:

1. Our Church

2. Charles marched with the American Legion in the 4th of July parade...he's on the far right :)

3.  Our kitten Caspian

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2:17:36 AM EDT
Feeling Angry
Hearing none

My faith was attacked tonight.  Not by atheists, nor by muslims, or pagans or buddhists, new agers or humanists.  By christians.  And not because I lied, or cheated, not because I coveted, or broke any of the other 10 commandments.  But because I evangalize.

I go out into the world, and into the wide open Internet, and talk about Jesus.  To anyone who will listen.

And some of those people include wiccans.  Gasp...yes, wiccans.

I happen to be a co-leader on a graphics group that is run by a wiccan.  (Hi Roger!)  Yes, there, I admit it.  (Not that I ever denied it before)  Why, you ask in consternation, am I there?  Don't I know sinners are on that list???  Won't I get tainted??  Won't I fall away???

Please.  Grow up.

First off, I am there because I am friends with Roger and several others on the list now.  Why, you ask in anguish, oh why?  Because they're cool people with good senses of humor.

Second, I am a co-leader there because Roger wanted a Christian balance to the list.  What??!!  Yep, a wiccan asked for a Christian balance to the list.  So that Jesus can be mentioned, so that good Christian ideals can be spouted, and good art and music shared.  I put a link to this blog on every email, on every email there is a cross and scripture.  Every darn one.  I send out cute Christian and family jokes, good art, stuff I can believe in and share with friends and with God.  I think that's part of the balance Roger was looking for.

Third, as far as the sinner part goes, I am a sinner too.  And therefore, I have no right to judge them.  And as Jesus had friends who were prostitutes, and the equivalent of IRS guys (they were hated even then) and poor guys, and sick guys, and outcasts, and people of other faiths, I have friends of all faiths and walks.  I have friends who are Wiccan, and Buddhist, and Hindu, I have friends who are gay. I have friends who are troubled Christians, I have friends who seem to have it all together but don't.  I have friends who can't quite figure out if there is a God, and I have friends who are mad at God.  And I love them all, and I know God doesn't have a problem with it.  Because He put me on this Earth to be a positive force, to love as He commanded I love, to show kindness, not condemnation.  He put me here to form relationships, and to be an example of someone who truly loves Jesus and seeks to follow His commandments.

Fourth, I am on that list, and an art list, and another graphics list (that's not Christian focused, but just a general list) so that I can be a Witness for Jesus Christ.  So that wiccans, and humanists and buddhists and everyone else can see a bit of Jesus's love for them in the way I treat them.  So that they know not every "christian" out there will treat them like crap, that not all "christians" are mean to them, or write them off as having no value.

Because guess what....Jesus died for them just as much as He died for all the people who fill the churches on Sunday.  He loves them just as much.  You are not His favorite.  He loves the pagans enough to die for them, just as much as the Baptists.  He loves the muslim, and watches over them with concern too.  He loves the humanist, the atheist, the buddhist, all of them. 

And Jesus wants them to know they are loved, and dearly loved at that.  He wants them to know they are cherished.  And He wants You and I to show them that.  WE are to show His Love.  WE are to be without judgment, to reach out in love, to reach out in kindness, and let them see Christ in us.

Let's think back on Paul and Peter.  Peter, the cornerstone of the Church and Paul who had a burning desire to share God's Word with all those he could.  Peter first gave the gospel for the Gentiles, yet some followers of the time  resisted and said the Word should only be for Jews.  Peter resisted, and stood by the message God gave him.  Paul went to Jerusalem, and finds out some of the believers say, "Well, we can preach to gentiles, but lets make sure they follow all our rules."  Peter and Paul know that too many rules will break the young gentile Church, and that Christ wants it to be simple for people to believe and be saved, and thus override the  "play it safe" disciples.  So Paul sets out on many journeys.  He goes north, south, east, west, everywhere he can over his lifetime.  He sits in pagan temples and preaches.  He eats with pagans, he tells those gentiles everywhere he goes about the Word.  Sometimes they convert quickly, sometimes it takes a while.  Some never do, but some do.  Some catch on fire in their hearts for God. (All of this is paraphrased from the Book of Acts)

Imagine if Peter had not first reached out to gentiles.  Imagine Paul had listened, and not spread the Word, or worse, tried to spread it with too many rules.  Imagine, if they  had never reached out.  Imagine.

Some Christians are called to witness to other Christians, who are hurting, or going through marital problems, or depression.  And that is fine, and good noble work. 

 Some Christians, though are called to do work in the "front."  C.S. Lewis once wrote that to live with an eternal perspective means "living as commandos operating behind enemy lines, preparing the way for the coming of the commander-in chief."  Some of us are called to get out there in the front, to mingle with "the gentiles" and tell them they are loved, and more than tell them....to show them they are loved.  For if they can't see Christ's love in us, why would they ever believe in our Lord?

And no, I know that my being on a list like Roger's won't make all of them want to run out and go to Church.  But it might take away some of the sting that they have felt from other christians- for most of them have had very negative experiences, and are shy now of even the name of Christ.  If I can show them the Love that Jesus has for them, through the way I treat them, the way I value them, then I have done enough.  God wants me to love my neighbor and to never be ashamed to talk Him to people of all faiths. 

And if that makes some christians uncomfortable, that I mingle with "sinners and pagans"...tough.  Deal with it, because I don't have time for intolerance.  My God could come back any day, and He wants to me to find ways to daily show people He loves them.  There is only so much time in a lifetime, I have other things to do than play it safe, there is too much work to be done. Too many people to reach out too.  No people are unclean and unfit to hear the Word of God.  From Acts 10: 27 Talking with him, Peter went inside and found a large gathering of people. 28He said to them: "You are well aware that it is against our law for a Jew to associate with a Gentile or visit him. But God has shown me that I should not call any man impure or unclean."

 

And from Acts 10 : 34Then Peter began to speak: "I now realize how true it is that God does not show favoritism 35but accepts men from every nation who fear him and do what is right."

All people have an equal chance to saved, but how will they know the love of God unless we show it to them first? 

I love my God, with all my heart and all my mind and all my soul.  And I will talk to whomever I can get to listen about Him.  I tell the people at the store how good God is to me.  I talk to them at the restaurant, I talk online, I talk to the rich, the poor and the in-between.  I talk to the Church members, and I talk to those who don't know God.  I talk to those who love Christians, and to those who hate Christians (cause hey, once they see that not all of us hate them, they often warm up!).  I talk, but more than that, I try to live it.  To show all that God loves them because I love them.  That maybe, if I try hard enough, a glimpse of Christ can be seen in my life and they'll want to know more of my God.  I am lucky that I have been given a spouse who believes in this too, and works with me.  If he wasn't as driven as I am, I'd drive him nuts.  I  am sure there are those in town who chuckle and laugh at our passion.  But that's okay, I'd rather be chuckled at for loving God than for any other reason.

Please, remember the next time you talk to someone of another faith, or someone who makes you uncomfortable, or someone of a church you don't like...that God loves them as much as He loves you.  And He wants You to show that love.  Be pro-active, let them see Christ in You.

And to the questions tonight, (and before tonight from other quarters) of my faith, and is it secure and sincere enough, because I hang out with wiccans and other non-christians?  Is my faith real? 

Is reaching out for Jesus real? 

Is trying to be a light for Him in the world real? 

Is loving our neighbors real? 

I have no worries about standing before my God and telling Him who I tried to reach out to in my life.  I know that I will not have reached everyone I was capable of reaching, but at least I will have tried to. 

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5:51:22 PM EDT
Feeling Happy
Hearing playlist is on

Charles and I went to the post office the other day, and there were colorful drawings adorning the walls.  The handicraft of the local children, with patriotic drawings showing what Memorial Day means to them.

Some were traditional, with lots of flags and red, white and blue appearing everywhere.  Some were drawings of soldiers, and most had messages of freedom, thanking the army, and how great this country is.

One caught my attention in particular, because of the wording the young artist had used.  "Memorial Day, thank you for all you've done.  Army, Navy, Air Force, Coast Guard and Marines, The price no one wants to pay."

Now...the young artist probably meant that the soldiers have given the ultimate sacrifice, their lives for freedom.  But the words, just as they are, ring true.

The price no one wants to pay.

No soldier, unless in grave mental condition, signs up for the military with the aim of dying.  No one signs up to be hit by shrapnel.  No one asks to have their legs blown off, or their face burned.  No one ask to have their vehicle run over a land mine. 

These men and women want to come home to their families and friends when their service is done.  Home to hugs and kisses, not in a casket, and preferably not in a wheelchair.  (Though that is better than the alternative.)

But they know there is a chance they might be wounded in service, a chance they might die.  They know this is a risk, but for country they sign up.  They will pay the price if they must, though they don't want to.

What serious contemplation these persons entering the military must go through before joining.  (Or hopefully they do.)  The thoughts of the risk, of the cost.  And thoughts of is the call to serve worth it, is the uniform they wear worth the blood it might cost.  And when they decide it is, and join up, what a sober moment there  must be in the hearts of not only themselves, but their loved ones.  For knowing the men and women going off might not return makes the gesture and act of service all that more valiant, the cost all that more dear.

And even if one does not support the current war, one must respect the willingness to serve our country that these soldiers, sailors, airmen and marines show.  The dedication they have to their country, the devotion to their uniform and flag.

And we must mourn those who do not come home, for they paid the price no one wanted to pay, but that in war, some must.  Let us be sober in reflection of the service of those in current times and decades past who laid down their lives, not only for our freedoms, but freedoms of those across the globe.  So many have passed that we might shine as a country and as a people.  So many have shouldered the ultimate burden so that we might be free to feel as we do about our government, about faith, about our neighbors, about this world.  We are blessed to be in a country where we can express such thoughts and not have cars pull up in the night and hear a door knock, such as in the old Soviet Union, or in modern China.  We can protest, we can write letters, demonstrate, buck the norm and not be beaten down for it.  Thank God for where you are if you have access to these freedoms. 

Thank God someone else was willing to pay a price for you to be able to do so.

A price no one wants to pay.

It is not only our military we should thank for paying such prices.  There is another price none of us want to pay.

Just as some have had to die throughout our country's history to preserve freedom, Christ had to die so that we might have life eternal, because without Him there is no hope of a good life after this one.  The wages of sin are death, says the Bible.  And it also says, All have fallen short, All have sinned.  None of us can be good enough to earn salvation, none of us can walk a pure enough life, none of us can live a life without sin. 

That surge of anger you feel every time you see your neighbor who upsets you.  That's a sin, you're holding on to anger.  The urge you feel to tell everyone who's not so good in town.  That's gossip, also a sin.  That white lie you tell to get out of visiting someone, lying- also a sin.  The way you look at the girl/guy down the street, what you've imagined about them- you guessed it, lust is also a sin.  When you're selfish, disloyal...the list goes on.  And you know when you do it, you feel that twinge that you hope no one saw you do that, or heard you say that, or you think, boy I'm glad no one can see what I'm thinking or feeling.  Every time you've ever wanted to hide something, every time you feel ashamed, that weight on the bottom of your soul when you think of a deed you're not proud of....that's all traces of sin.

And sin cannot come into the presence of God.   God is perfect goodness, and so as sinners, we cannot come into that goodness without some sort of intervention.  And Christ, who loves us so, looked at us, and said, "Father, let me intercede."

The price no one wants to pay.  Jesus did not want to have to suffer and die.  He wanted the end result of our salvation, but did He want to go through what He did?

Did Jesus want to die a horrible, painful death?  No, of course not.   Can you imagine what the beatings felt like?  The crown of thorns piercing the brow?  The humiliation of being driven down a street, bleeding, exhausted, stumbling, sweat and blood in your eyes as people you loved, LOVED, called and jeered at you?  Can you imagine what nails through your feet and wrists would feel like?  Being hoisted up, the weight of your body pulling you down?  The shortness of breath, the aches and screams of your muscles as they were ripped?  Seeing those who loved you most crying below your feet, watching them watch you?  And worst of all, all the sins of the world, all that had ever been, all the sins that were there in the world then, and all the sins to come in the world, ALL OF THEM, laid upon you, burying your soul in despair. 

You know how you feel when you've done something really wrong?  The deep, sick feeling, the shame, the terror someone will find out, the feeling of darkness in your stomach.  That was just one sin of yours that you're remembering.  Imagine all your sins of all your life laid upon you at once.  Imagine how you'd be buried by the weight.  How terrible and alone you'd feel as the sins swallowed you up.

Now imagine all the sins of everyone who was, and will be as they were laid upon Christ.  Imagine how He must have ached with it.  And how those sins, yours and mine, separated Him from His Father for the first time ever.  For God cannot be where sin is, and so as Christ was stretched out there in agony, His body and soul screaming with pain, God had to look away from the sin.  He let Jesus pay the cost of the sin, to take the agony, so that we might be spared.  Jesus must have felt that separation keenly, as He asked God, "My God, My God, why has Thou forsaken Me?"  He's screaming, "Father, Father, don't leave me!  Dad, come back, don't forsake me!"  How that must have torn at God not to reach down right then, and pull Jesus off the cross, but He loves us enough to let Christ die.  To take sin to death, and thus defeat sin.  So that we don't have to pay that eternal price, that we can be with God forever in love and peace if we but ask for it.

Jesus did not want to die, but He did for love of us.  So that we might be with Him forever.

Jesus paid the price no one wants to pay.

Praise be to the Father for giving the Son to die so that we might live, and Praise be to the Son for being willing.

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12:38:15 AM EDT
Feeling Happy
Hearing HGTV is on

A story was told to me once:

 

Two Buddhist monks are walking from one monastery to another, a journey of many, many miles.  The master and student walked in silence, each contemplating the deeper meanings of life.

They approached a wide, but shallow river, which cut across the road.  There was no bridge, nor stepping stones.  On their side of the river stood a woman in fine clothing, much distressed over how to cross the river without ruining her clothes.

She appealed to the monks, and asked them for aid.  The master nodded, and crouched down, allowing the woman to climb onto his back.  Carrying her, he crossed the river, then set her down, and continued on his way.   The student stood amazed, shocked and horrified.  Buddhist monks of his order must never, ever touch a woman once the had entered the religious life!

For hours the student fumed, and worried, and cast anxious glances upon his master, finally summoning the courage to speak.

"Master"

"Yes?"

"How could you carry that woman back there?  You know we are forbidden to, you know we are not to do such things!"

"I put the woman down hours ago, my son.  You have been carrying her all this way?"

 

It's funny the things we carry in life, both good and bad.  The small habits, and odd behaviors.  Rather like the things we always carry when we move around.

For years, I have had this small plastic red box, with a hinge lid.  In it, is some potpourri, and a small golden ribbon.  I can't tell you where I got it, or why I have held onto it for 20+ years.  Every time we've ever moved, I look at it, and think...I should throw  this away, it's junk.  And every time, I put it back in a box to carry with me.  Don't know why, but some emotional tie keeps it with me.

That's harmless, silly, maybe stupid, but harmless.  What's dangerous is the emotional baggage we carry with us through life. 

"So and So hurt me"

"So and So didn't respond the way I wanted them to"

"I never got chosen first for a team"

"My parents liked my brother/sister more than me."

All the little hurts, all the wounded times of pride, we carry it with us.  The time the teacher ignored us and made special over our rival.  The time we didn't get praise for something we thought we did really well.  The time our friend wasn't there for us, or hurt us in jest, or hurt us because they had something else on their minds.  Every time we've been passed over.  We pack it away and carry it with us.

We carry more than that too.  We carry bad habits and sins.  Our anger, our lack of forgiveness, our eagerness to judge, our reluctance to change, our jealousy.  So many traits we can't seem to give up, but keep carting around.

Why?  Doesn't it ever get heavy?  I know it has for me.

Got tired of being impatient...asked God to help me.  And guess what, it hasn't changed overnight...it's taken time, but patience has come, and is coming more and more.

Got tired of being competitive, I like being easy going more.  Again, dropped the negative baggage and picked up an easier load.

Got tired of getting angry easily, and asked God for help.  Seems to go hand in hand with patience, lol.  Everyday, things seem mellower for me, easier to laugh, harder to get angry.  Still do get angry of course, sometimes too quickly, but it is getting better.  Because I don't want to carry that baggage with me.

And those negative emotions and experiences...I had them too.  And while I can spend time thinking of everyone who has ever hurt me, whether on purpose or by accident...why bother?  It's so much easier to say, Here God- please take this, I don't need it anymore.  Why hold onto it?  It only hurts me if I do.  And I figure, if I was hurt by accident, then it's my job to let it go- stuff happens.  And if I was hurt on purpose, then the person who hurt me will have to talk that out with God someday- my Heavenly Father will fight my battles for me, I don't need to.

It's so much more liberating.

Shed your load.  Think about yourself and find out what you're carrying that you don't need to, and that you don't want to.  Those times you've been hurt- let them go.  Don't keep that poison close at heart, you'll only hurt yourself.  And your sins and negative behaviors....let those go too.  It may take some work, and practice, but you'll like yourself more when it's done.  And you'll feel better, and lighter.

After all, who needs the heavy baggage?

 

28 "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."  Matthew 11: 28-30

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5:05:24 PM EDT
Feeling Happy
Hearing nothing

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4:16:40 AM EDT
Feeling Happy
Hearing none

We took Sequoia the mal, Gideon the spoiled black cat and one of the kittens to visit the nursing home today.  Gideon walked proudly on his leash, and on the way back actually had a nice older lady stop in shock- she had to verify that was a cat she saw walking on a leash, lol.  The kitten was a big hit at the home, but she (I can't name her, I can't keep them all!!!  Only one, lol) wanted nothing of it, she wanted to go home and take a nap.  She did curl up on one resident's lap, and she got lots of pets.

The kittens are getting big and active now, and I'll be glad to see them find homes, as cute as they are.  (And yes, Ellie is in isolation until she gets fixed in two weeks)  One kitten has a home I think, and the word is getting out that we have them, so hopefully they will all find homes quickly when they're ready.

I have seeds sprouting in the garden...my Mother would be shocked I have a flower garden, I hate to get my hands in dirt <grin>...I used gardening tools and never had to get dirty <big laugh>...lots of lavender planted, and a wide assortment of flowers, I am hoping for an english garden look.  (Not that the garden is that big, just a small wrap around patch in front of part of the motel)  I love to see spring and early summer (as much as I love winter)...for you can see daily the miracles that God is creating. 

I love the joke that goes something like this:

Scientists got together, and figured out they could make anything that God had made, and so announced to God that He wasn't necessary anymore.

"We can make anything you can," said the leader.

"Let's see you make a man out of the dust of the Earth," said God.

The scientist leaned down and scooped up some dirt...

"No No," said God, "Get your own dirt."

 

People think too often that what good comes about in their life is their own doing, and that when bad things befall, that then is the only time to call out to God.  They forget all blessings come from the Father, and that they should praise Him when things go right, and not just ask Him where He is when things go wrong.   Our credits are not our own, but reflections of the gifts God has given us, and we can no more shape wondrous things in our lives than those scientists could create their own dirt.  Let us give Praise to God for all things.

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