Penny`s Pieces of Ohio

12:29:55 PM EDT
Feeling Sad

Well, despite how I felt last night...I DID make it thru the night and am here today.

I wanted to thank all of you out there in J-Land for the beautiful comments you have left.

Reading them has really helped.   I have known Penny for 26 years.  That's a lot of memories for me.  But in the time she has been on J-Land, it is obvious what a great person she was by the tons of friends she has here.  I could not believe it the day I was online for her replying to emails and posting things for her while she was in the hospital.  When I saw all those emails and all those friends, I just couldn't imagine knowing that many people online and keeping in touch with them like she did and knowing about all of you the way she did.  I know how much you all meant to her.  I am so glad she had all of you as friends. 

After making calls and sending emails, I think this is starting to finally set in as a reality for me now.  I was in such shock yesterday and just could not stop crying no matter what.  I hurt so bad last night from crying so hard...my side ached, my face hurt really bad and my eyes were so puffy this morning....and all this was because of the selfishness...I will never get to see her again...I will never get to talk to her again...I will never go over to visit her and go for a walk and sit and talk outside at her patio table.....we will never go to Olive Garden together again...she will not be there to talk to and share all my problems with...I lost my bff!!  

Now, today, in a little more clearer light....I do realize the good part of all of this.  I do know where she is and that she is never going to have to suffer again and is with God in paradise and will always be with us in spirit.  I do know all of this and believe it.  She has entered into eternal life and is smiling down on us. 

We all know this, we all knew Penny and loved her dearly.  We will all miss her terribly.

Goodbye my best friend Penny.....you will live inside my heart forever. 

Until we meet again...........

Cathie

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4:55:07 PM EDT

This is Penny's friend Cathie...

I don't know how to say this....I am still in shock....I found out on my lunch hour and have been crying since.....

Penny has passed away.

Early this morning October 1, 2007 at the Cleveland Clinic.

I am sorry to be the bearer of bad news.....but wanted you all to know.

She had so many online friends.....I felt the need to send this message to let you all know.

I don't know what else to say right now...I am still in shock...and kinda drunk right now.

Maybe I will post something when I am sober and have had time to think. 

 

 

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12:51:30 PM EDT

I`ve spent several days in a whirl of throwing up, headaches ,itchy rashes,diarhhea, and kidney problems - all due to chemo. I know I`ve survived it because I am here to write about it. Although my bloodcount will remain low, all these other effects should continue to subside.

Thanks for all your lovely commments and thank you to those  you have sent cards!

I got my new eyeglasses. They do look pretty cool if I do say so myself.

Other than doing a quick journal entry, if you see me on your buddy list it`s probably not really me. My friend may be on checking my mail from time to time while on the phone with me. LOL. It`s easier - a LOT easier for me.

So that`s my update for now. I wish I could go back to writing about my normal life, but that got thrown a bit upside downfor now.

Oh, and about the title of this entry----

They taste wonderful after about 3 days of no food!

 

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2:43:09 PM EDT

So it`s a week ago tonight that I was admitted into the hospital. Leukemia is in my blood and spinal fluid. Last night I was in surgery for a while getting a port / catheter put under my scalp that then goes into my brain. I`m glad that`s over. Chemo through this port begins on Monday. I was prepped the night before by having parts of my head shaved and then 9 little disks Krazy Glued ( literally! ) onto my scalp. I could not eat or drink all day yesterday until surgery, which finally happened at about 5:30. I have to admit I laid on the operating table and cried.      

 

So I have a big patch of hair missing on the top right of my head where the port is placed. My brother says it looks rather punk rock.  lol

 

While I was in surgery I missed a visit from my manager from work.  He left me a note with boxes of candy, the new Harry Potter book, and some magazines and word puzzle books. I was very touched.

 

My brother got here later and brought me some clean laundry, new pajamas, inspirational books that my SIL had purchased, snacks, and a serenity fountain that I asked for to plug in by my bed. It`s very calming and everyone loves it. All the nurses want one!

 

I ordered my first pair of eyeglasses and should have them in about a week. I`m excited about this. They`re cute - red. My eyes aren`t exactly working together, as one side of my face has a bit of palsey since I`ve slipped into this relapse. The glasses won`t correct that, but I hope that problem goes away soon.

I find comfort in the Bible and knowing that so many are praying for me and have even offered to step up and see if they are a bone marrow match!  I take comfort in my Salvation. Without Jesus in my life I literally could not do this. Could not go through this. He makes me strong when I am weak.  

One thing that had me so distraught was what to do with my dog. I love my dog so much and was upest that she may have to go to a family that she was unfamiliar with. I was also worried about my mom, as I live with her and help her out quite a bit. We were all praying about this for a few days - me, my family, my daughter, Pastor, etc.  So what`s gonna happen is that my SIL is taking a medical leave of absence and will stay with my mom and dog, plus the dog that my SIL and brother have. They are visiting here from Indy but my SIL will stay here with their car and my brother will drive my car back to Indy and stop to see Corey along the way. I`m very relieved how this has worked out.

 

I have read all the lovely comments and I thank you all so much and for those of you that have sent others over from your journals as well! I haven`t gotten to emails, but I do read the comments when I can. I so appreciate your prayers and support.

Very tired now, so I`m going to walk back to my hospital bed. There are 2 computers down the hall from my room - that`s where I update my journal.

Have a good weekend everyone.

Love you,

Penny  

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6:43:44 PM EDT

It`s with a heavy heart that I write today`s entry.

My leukemia is back.

Not in my blood, but in my spinal fluid this time.

Here`s what`s in store - tomorrow I will get a second dose of chemo shot into my spine. The next day I will have a port surgically installed under my scalp. This way I can get chemo to my spine that way instead of having my back poked with a needle every time.

God willing I will again reach remission. Then I will have to find a donor for a bone marrow transplant.

I`m in one of the best hospitals in the world. Treatment is aggressive. Everyone is professional and friendly.

This morning I was nauseous and threw up! UGH! Right away I got a shot for the nausea and I slept like a baby. Later I had an eye exam. I received a prescrption for my first pair of glasses. ( not bad at 46! ) I`ve had headaches and then some palsey  (droopy like ) on the right side of my face. No tumors, no leukemia in my eye orbits.

Thanks for your comments. I just read every single one and was so touched. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I still haven`t read my emails yet.

I`m here to tell you that I`m still alive and still living my life, even though I`m in the hospital. I eat when I feel like it, pass on it when I don`t, chat to the nurses and doctors. Friends, family, and my Pastor call.

My life is in God`s hands as always!

Prepare for battle, folks. Let`s kick some leukemia butt!

Love you all and God bless xo

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10:47:19 AM EDT

I`m doing this entry from the hospital. Not my first choice of where to spend the holiday weekend, yet here I am.

 

I`ve had headaches and blurred vision and now a bit of weirdness with the right side of my face. So...... I`m waiting to have an MRI done of my head and then I will have my spinal fluid tested to make sure there is no leukemia lurking anywhere.

 

Tired of dealing with the local hospitals and setting up appts for this that and the other test to be scheduled, my DR at the Cleveland Clinic called me yesterday. ( I was in Walmart! ) He said ,"Sorry it`s the holiday weekend, but we need to see you here and run some tests --  this, this, and this, and check out that, that, and that....." At least they are thorough! So in that respect I am happy to be here because they tend to leave no stone unturned.

 

I`ve been concerned about this spacey feeling that I have been having and my vision has been somewhat compromised. I don`t feel sick per se` .... just WEIRD, a little off balance. It could be many things, but due to past leukemia, everything needs to be checked.

 

Right now I`m okay, so don`t think I`m in a horrible state. I`m wearing my pink jammies and soft slippers and bless the nurse - she even gave me a Pepsi on the rocks!  :)

Getting the spinal fluids checked is not a picnic in the park, but I`ve been through it many times. Praying for good results.

 

Love you guys .... have a happy and safe weekend ..... and please say a prayer that this is nothing serious and that I`ll be back home soon.

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8:59:50 PM EDT

 

Take one blah summer and mix with 2 cups stress.

A pinch of anxiety, mixed with 1/2 tsp depression and 6 ounces of loneliness.

Add sweating and dizziness.

Mix vigorously until vision blurs and patient sees double.

Stir for two months. Shake vigorously and keep mixing until patient`s head starts to pound , pound , POUND.

Let blood pressure reach boling point of 154/116.

 

 

I guarantee you - you`ll feel sick!

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8:12:10 PM EDT

 

Hi everyone and happy weekend.

I`m glad you enjoyed the pictures in my last entry. Corey has a total of several hundred, so it was difficult to pick just a few! She took a digital camera and a manual one. The pictures from the manual are not developed yet. She also deleted ( by mistake ofcourse ) the first 150 photos that she took.

New Zealand is actually two large islands. She was only in the north island, plus it was winter. I can`t imagine how beautiful it is in the summer! Fiji must be pretty much gorgeous at any time! They went out on a boat one day and there are hammocks on the front of the boat where you can literally lay right above the ocean as you sail along. I can`t even imagine!

As for myself, it`s been a long and uneventful summer. I don`t know if it`s the hot humid weather or what but I just have not felt good. For a couple nights I was running a fever and had the chills, then hot flashes. I spent an afternoon in the emergency room. My bloodwork was good, so I was very relieved about that. Nothing really showed up wrong, so I was sent home. The fevers stopped. I still get those darn headaches sometimes. On top of this, my financial situation has changed and I may have to pick up some more hours at work if I can.  So I`m dealing with some things. Nothing God can`t handle, so I`ll keep praying about it.

So tomorrow I`m taking Corey back to her college town. Oh, she`s also moving into a new place!

Little Mandy got a bath today and you never saw such a happy dog in your life! She sprinted out of the tub and out of the bathroom and ran all over the house, only stopping to roll on every couch and chair in an effort to get the entire house wet. I bathed her with Apple body wash from Bath & Body Works. lol Every girl needs a little pampering, right?  <wink>

 

 

 

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7:46:45 PM EDT

Hi guys. Here are some pictures of Corey`s trip. I think you`ll agree that the scenery is gorgeous!

During the week they were busy ministering to the students at the university, helping to set up Bible studies and helping the staff there get going.

The weekends were their own to relax and look around.

So from New Zealand to Fiji, to California - I hope you enjoy the pictures.

More about me another time.

Love!

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12:28:03 PM EDT

Hi everyone.  Thanks to those who have asked about Corey. Here`s the update.  First of all, they left New Zealand for Fiji and then I lost contact with her for a few days. This was upsetting to me, but I figured maybe her phone wouldn`t work there which turned out to be the case. Her and her friends are now back on American soil.  :)

I took today off to get her at the airport but guess what - ? Their flight was cancelled. So now they have an extra day to enjoy sunny California. What a summer, huh? I wish mine were just one tenth that exciting!

Oh, here`s a cute story that came about due to my daughter`s travels and how when flying so far west you lose a day and then upon returning home you end up gaining a day. >>> While in Fiji, she was laying on the beach enjoying her 21st birthday. Late that evening they board a plane for the US. After flying about a dozen more hours, they arrived on the west coast, early afternoon and it`s still  her birthday. Hah.

So now that I have a free day that I hadn`t planned on, I`m off to meet a friend for lunch and to run some errands.

It`s cooler today and we`ve had some showers.

Love & God bless,

     thanks, Chris

 

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