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PART 1: "JUST THE FACTS MA'M: OUR/HerSTORY (Nancy's, Mine & Kaycee's)
Saturday, April 22, 2006
6:09:00 PM EDT
Feeling Quiet
Hearing NOT exactly listening to, but hearing in my head: Melissa Etheridge's "I RUN FOR LIFE"
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6:09:00 PM EDT
Feeling Quiet
Hearing NOT exactly listening to, but hearing in my head: Melissa Etheridge's "I RUN FOR LIFE"
PART 1: "JUST THE FACTS MA'M: OUR/HerSTORY (Nancy's, Mine & Kaycee's)
I am so glad to finally be getting around to do what I promised to do MONTHS ago! BUT, before you start to read this, I HAVE TO WARN YOU: I've been typing for 2 days working on this & this has gotten to be MUCH LONGER than I had planned....I PRAY I DON'T BORE YOU TO DEATH. If you think it'll be too much, either skim through it, don't read it (tho this does literally give a COMPLETE HerSTORY), or better yet, read it like you would a novel......in SMALL, lol, portions.
My wife & I were together 12 years. I met her in Nov. of '92 at a support/social group meeting for lesbians at a local lesbian bookstore (Crazy Ladies). Nancy walked in the room, & the rest of the night I just couldn't take my eyes of her. It truly was very funny because EVERYBODY IN THAT ROOM KNEW I'd spent the evening *staring at her*. EVERYONE THAT IS EXCEPT NANCY~~~~~LOL! After group we all went out to eat & Nance was going to go home (she had an hours drive). But, something was said about me accidentally Nairing my cat, & well, she always said she stuck around just to "hear the rest of that story." NO NEED TO GO INTO THAT NOW...LOL....if you want to know, I'll tell you another time, PRIVATELY...tehe! JUST KNOW that your WILDEST IMAGINATION is probably correct (as Nance would say "because after all, "SHE IS A BLOND"). After going out to eat, we all went to one of the lesbian clubs & all I could think about was wanting to ask her to dance. I finally had a few beers in me & got the nerve up....she said yes & I all but fainted! I walked her to her car at the end of the evening. We exchanged numbers. I AGAIN DAMNED NEAR PASSED OUT when she called me. We moved in together in March of '93. The rest, as they say, is HERstory.
In mid-late '96 (Sept. or Oct, I think) she found a lump in her own breast. Now, this very same lump had been examined before by another Surgeon just maybe 2 to no longer than 2 1/2 .yrs prior, but this surgeon (along w/a damned Mammogram) said it was *JUST* a Fibroid & NOT to worry. (What we found out later is that sometimes, Fibroids WILL turn into Cancer & all warrant close monitoring!)
The lump she felt was now bigger & (in her words) "felt different" so she had another mammogram and THANKFULLY had to go to another Surgeon (the original surgeon had left town by this time). This time, the Surgeon said, you know, it could be a Fibroid, but we really need to do a biopsy & take a closer look at it. So, they did a lumpectomy. And, well, the rest of that story is self explanatory, now, isn't it? YES, I COULD HAVE KILLED THE FIRST SURGEON FOR NOT GIVING US THIS HEADS UP AS A LOT OF WHAT CAME NEXT COULD HAVE BEEN AVOIDED (maybe--you never know what cancer will/won't do).
It was '97 before she completed the Lumpectomy, Lymphectomy (they had to take a few...15..lymph nodes from her armpit to see if it had spread there....which it had not, so if you hear me refer to it as Stage 1, that's because it was local w/in the breast ONLY & had not spread beyond that point). (NOTE: You may also here me call it Grade 3. That refers to how aggressive the particular cancer is...1 being the least, 3 the most). Her cancer was Stage 1---GOOD INITIAL PROGNOSIS, but a Grade 3, WEAKENS PROGNOSIS----but, since it was caught so early (before spreading to any *KNOWN*---(key word here, they only took out a sampling, 15 in all)---lymph nodes. She also had to undergo a total of 9 Chemo Tx's (treatments) & 41/42/43 (I think, now-memory is starting to lapse from the facts; could be 36) Rad (radiation) Tx's. The Chemo Tx's were one every 3 weeks & the Rad Tx's EVERYDAY (except Sat. & Sun.). The whole process took about 9 or 10 months, so she was finished (I think, if memory serves right) around May/June?. Things were crazy, we were going crazy w/worry of course, but she made it through ALL OF THAT LIKE A TROUPER! She really only got physically sick one time during the 9 Chemo Tx's & actually had a harder time dealing w/the *tired* affect Rad Tx can have on you (because it is in Breast area, very localized at that, no-one is quite sure if its the actually Rad Tx's that make you tired, or if it doesn't have more to do w/the fact that you have to go to the hospital EVERY SINGLE DAY; that can be very tiring on a person no matter how far youneed to travel to/from the hospital (we lived less than a mile a way...were in a VERY SMALL town & lived *IN* town (as opposed to *out in the country*.
The first 5 years were the worst for us. You constantly worry at your appointments whether or not the Onc (Oncologist) and/or subsequent tests you must endure will turn up something new. Over those 5 years, tho, we got more & more comfortable, and truly by the end of that 4th or 5th year, were hardly thinking about *IT*.
PART 2---GO TO NEXT, WHICH IS REALLY THE PREVIOUS, ENTRY
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