The Wizard's Tome

Subject: New Things
Time: 11:46:03 AM CDT
Author:  rampage841512
Mood:  Quiet

My "Hide Me" spell worked better than I could have expected.  While the person didn't completely forget my existence they did lose interest in me, which was the intent of the spell.  So it worked.

I know I keep saying I am going to update this journal more often, but I don't often get the chance.  That's just a fact of life.  I've moved recently, though, and I really am hoping to get back into the habit of looking at magic as a viable option in life.  It interest me, and I've always wanted to create my own style.

I like to keep the main idea of Chaos magic ("if it works, use it") at the forefront of what I do.  That's really what I've had success with.  I also will stick with my belief that magic is a force of will.  It's worked for me because I willed it to work. 

I'm just beginning 777 and Other Qabalistic Writings of Aleister Crowley.  Crowley is someone who has always fascinated me, though my knowledge of him and his work is vague and in need of expansion.  So I guess you could say this is a new beginning for me.  Here we go.

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Subject: It appears to be a success
Time: 11:45:25 PM CDT
Author:  rampage841512
Mood:  Quiet

So, my previous spell seems to be working okay so far, which is good news for me. I'm going to have to write it down so I can use it again if I need it.

You, I think the reason I've left magic alone for so long is because it became sort of a joke for me.  Most of the people involved in it are just people wanting to different.  They've got no real interest, but they know it will piss someone off.  I've always felt drawn to it myself, and I kept it a secret from most people who know me.  It was important for me to hang a sign around my neck that said ,"HEY!  LOOK AT ME.  I PRACTICE MAGIC.  I ACTUALLY BELIEVE IN IT!" 

It seemed, if you'll forgive me, a little Christian to be doing something like that.  It's why I don't like most religious people.  Religion is supposed to be something personal, not public.  When you are just showing off that you're one of the "in crowd" you don't have faith.  You're a fraud, a fake, a liar, and a fucking hypocrite.

I encountered very few true believers out there, and that bothered me.  It bothered me to the point that I put something that I had a real interest in behind me for a long time because I thought I was just another pretender.  But I'm not.  I'm honest.  I really do believe.  And that's what makes me different.

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Subject: Follow-up on the "Hide Me" spell
Time: 6:23:56 PM CDT
Author:  rampage841512
Mood:  Silly

Okay, what I did was to print a picture of myself on a piece of paper.  I then drew a rough approximation of the person I wanted to be hidden of around that picture so that my picture resides in here head.  Then I took a marker and drew a box around my picture with a big lock on it, and even wrote the word "LOCKED" across the lock.  I then wrote the little chant I came up with on the bottom of the paper and spoke it out loud and repeated it silently while visualizing myself being locked away in the other persons mind so that she can't get at me. 

Then, just for kicks, and probably because of Avril's influence on me I took the further symbolic step of taking the paper, folding it up and stuffing it into a small box so that the whole thing is hidden away. 

I really hope this works.  I have not practiced magic is such a long time, but the thrill of it is definitely back.  I think I'll be doing some other stuff soon. 

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Subject: It's been a long time....
Time: 6:05:39 PM CDT
Author:  rampage841512
Mood:  Quiet

But I'm back and I'm planning to try and get back into the swing of things.  The first thing I need to do is come up with a spell to make someone ignore me.  So instead of an attraction spell, I need an unattraction spell.  I want someones thoughts and feelings to bend around me so I don't even come to mind.  I need a stealth spell. 

Okay, what I think I will do is make this a kind of drawn/verbal spell.  I'll draw a picture of myself in a box inside this persons head.  That will make thoughts of me hidden from the person inside their own mind, locked away with the verbal part of the spell:

"Inside your mind I  will always reside,

But in a box will I abide,

Forever hidden from your wandering minds eye."

Now to put it into action.  I hope it works.

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Subject: Revenge V
Time: 2:57:24 AM CST
Author:  rampage841512
Mood:  Sad

I just finished the first day of my revenge spell, which will take seven to complete.  It was...draining.  Focusing all that anger and hurt was hard, but necessary.  It was not enjoyable visiting some things I had left behind.  But it had to be done.

See, I realized today that all it takes is the simplest thing to remind of how much hurt was done to me.  Just the smallest thing reminds of the pain, and that brings forth the anger.  It happened tonight, and so I started the spell tonight (or rather, this morning...but I'm counting dark to dark). 

I will continue with the spell as the instructions lay out, and I will post updates as I feel it is necessary.

I realized over the last two days or so that I have no mercy for my target.  None what so ever.  I can not lay eyes upon this person without thinking the darkest of thoughts.  And while I control my anger and do not let it loose in the form of physical violence, that control is only a slow boil barely held in check.

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Subject: Revenge IV
Time: 10:58:37 PM CST
Author:  rampage841512
Mood:  Quiet

I have everything I need...except one thing.  That one thing is probably the most important of all, in my humble opinion. 

See, you've got to be in the right mood for this sort of thing.  If you're not, it just doesn't work out right.  You've got to really feel it. 

Right now, I don't have it.  I'm not feeling that mood.  I'm tired and I'm also feeling pretty down.  I need to feel powerful to do this, and I'm feeling rather powerless.  So, I am going to wait.  There is bound to be something that will set off my anger and put me in the right mind set. 

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Subject: Revenge III
Time: 7:06:08 PM CST
Author:  rampage841512
Mood:  Quiet

Well, I thought I had everything I needed.  However, it appears I need to make a trip to cemetery.  I'm not going tonight.  Oh, I don't mind cemeteries at night.  I just don't feel like going to one.  Someone might ask what the hell I'm doing there at night, among other things.  So I'll try and go tomorrow, and then on to my spell.  I was kind of looking forward to doing it tonight, but I can wait.  Some dishes are better served cold, afterall.

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Subject: Revenge II
Time: 7:41:46 PM CST
Author:  rampage841512
Mood:  Quiet
Music:  The Devil's Rejects

I got my seven knob candle today.  I'd start the spell right now, except I am way to tired.  So I plan on doing it tomorrow night.  Or sometime tomorrow.  I'm really looking forward to casting this spell, but I want to do it with a clear head and the ability to concentrate.

Until then.

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Subject: Revenge I
Time: 5:22:24 PM CST
Author:  rampage841512
Mood:  Quiet

I picked up my seven day candle.  I didn't get it off ebay, which is my usual source for magical odds and ends.  I just went to a grocery store and picked one up (all they are is catholic prayer candles...why pay ten dollars when two will get what you need).  If I was wrong, and this one doesn't last as long as I need it too I'll just do the Olympic torch thing and pass the flame off to a new candle. 

Since I have to leave it burning constantly I am going to put it in a large steel mixing bowl both to keep the glass cool and to keep any possible fire from going anywhere.  I'll sit it on my kitchen table on top of my stone pizza pan so it should be safe.  Fuck, I have renter's insurance.  No, I'm not that apathetic about it.  It'll be safe.  I promise.

I did, however, have to resort to using ebay for my seven knob candle.  I wish there was an occult shop around here, but there isn't.  And every time one opens up it goes out of business before I know it exists.  I hate this fucking state, but I've got to deal with it for the time being. 

Anyway, if you're wondering what spell I'm using, it's here:

  Revenge Spells

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Subject: Any questions?
Time: 9:37:22 AM CST
Author:  rampage841512
Mood:  Flirtatious
Music:  still Episode III

Any questions anyone has should be either left in the comments section or emailed to me.  I'll answer all of them if there are any.  I don't promise to have all the answers, but I'll give it a shot.  Any request for entries on specific topics are also very welcome.

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