Journal land novel

   “Damn Billy, you don’t look half as bad as I do man.”, joked Joe who was in a bed to the right of Billy and trying to add some sort of humor to a tragic situation. Billy was still too relaxed to respond to Joe in any way thanks to all of the medication he had been on. His eyes slowly rolled down to try and focus on finding a reason as to why he was even in bed. Joe had suffered several large lacerations from some shrapnel, but remained to be one of the more lucky members of the crew. “We were very lucky. Hey man, are you coming around yet or what?!?” Joe couldn’t get a response, just Billy’s blank stare into nothing and then back down to his lower body which was covered with a light blue terrycloth blanket. It was as blue as the clear sky that hovered over their heads as they moved through Afghanistan just before a heavy explosion went off and Taliban fighters had started popping off rounds at the men.    

The story replayed in Billy’s head as the drugs ran through his bloodstream. As the men ran across the street to a nearby building, a bomb went off throwing shrapnel and debris mixed with a clouding of dust and smoke. Visibility was slim to none as loud popping was heard. Billy dropped his camera and freed his hands to duck down and pull out his Desert Eagle looking for the next bit of movement. Shots were steady and as the dust began to settle, Billy could see Joe in front of him on the ground screaming. Without hesitation he ran up and pulled Joe to the building where the men had originally ran from.  His heart was pounding and his adrenaline was already going haywire from the ambush they had fallen into. Billy and the men had traveled hearing random shots and they even seen some serious kills while out on the field but few had experienced anything quite like this. The fire from the shots only told from what angles the enemy was shooting from. It was apparent that men were in the building across the street shooting from the lower windows on the first floor. Special Ops were huddled at the corner waiting for the firing to stop while Billy began shooting still shots from a 35mm always in his backpack. He wouldn’t risk running out to grab the video camera which he had left recording in the middle of the now bloody and heavily damaged area of the city. After getting a few pictures he began to attend to Joe who was now bleeding profusely from several cuts across his face. Billy kept looking around and then back out around the corner to get a peek at what the men were doing. Everything had grown quiet, and to Billy it was more like the quiet before a tremendous storm. The Special Ops troops couldn’t risk crossing the street again but they knew that they had to insure that the film crew remained with them, yet at the same time the film crew had to remain in safer havens. Billy’s mind thought of when they told him he would never find himself on the front lines, and it was at this very moment that the true nature of the matter is that in a war and in enemy territory, the front lines are everywhere. This is the job Billy had taken on, and he knew it. Billy had taken a small thin blanket out of his backpack for Joe to hold some pressure to his face while he radioed for help. He pulled out his GPS to pinpoint the location of the current ambush. Suddenly the sound of footsteps running nearer and nearer could be heard and Billy seen the Special Ops start firing at the sound which was just 20 yards from where Billy and Joe were hiding. A man ran out and Billy with gun already in hand ready to fire, felt an extreme heat in his knee before he could pull the trigger. The popping of the gun three times rang through his ears and echoed over and over as he began squeezing off rounds into the chest of his attacker. “The front lines are everywhere.” and such was the thought that ran through his mind as he fell to his behind and waited for the next enemy to step out. Footsteps of more running behind him along with a heavier shooting told him that the Taliban fighters that had started the ambush were now moving out and attacking the Special Ops troops. He watched in front of him aiming and waiting, while glancing to his left to check his side view worried that someone could come to him from the opposite building. It was becoming more and more apparent that the enemy was attacking for the purpose of collecting the film equipment and video footage that they had collected. Two Special Ops troops had made their way to the corner of the building along with the video camera that Billy had left in the street. Two more men made their way back across the street while cracking off several rounds of automatic and simultaneous shooting. Then with the same quickness that the violence had started, it had come to an end and again there was an end to the shooting. The only sounds were just the voices of the men being checked over while others were being dragged out of the street and gathered near the location of thecoordinates that Billy had sent in. Billy stared into the clear blue sky as the thumping sound of an Apache began stirring up dust in the alleyway. Help had arrived.    

Billy continued to stare at the blue blanket that hid his leg. He knew something wasn’t right but he remembered the heat he felt in his knee. He knew those three shots found a place to bust through his knee but his eyes wouldn’t focus enough for him to realize that half of his leg was now missing. Joe’s chatter was a mere echo of distorted mumbling and he laid back and his mind then went to the thought of his wife and his baby that would soon set eyes on the earth. The medication made him drift in and out of sleep but every time he drifted his eyes seen the beauty that is his wife, his child, and the life that he lived and shared openly. Love carried them this far and his dreams confirmed his thoughts that love is the equivalent of receiving just a few seconds glance at the glory that is heaven sent straight from God himself. As the next few hours passed by and the night became day he came to the realization that he would walk with a slight limp for the rest of his life. That was more of Joe’s twisted humor that Billy could now remember from the previous hours. The sun began creeping through the blinds on the large window and a man could be seen making his way to Billy where he laid in bed. He walked with three other heavily decorated officers. The man was very well dressed and carried a small navy blue velvet box.    

“First of all I must congratulate you and when we are done here, a phone will be available for you to contact your wife. Sir, your wife has given birth to a very healthy baby girl. Your daughter and wife are fine and there were no problems.” the man spoke with a heavy tone in his voice. Billy couldn’t help but to notice the strong bone structure as the man turned to the side to introduce the officer’s he had brought with him. The man never introduced himself and seemed to make a point to overlook it. He continued while Billy sat smiling and listening to the man. “A service will be held to honor all of the troops that will receive US Military Awards when the war with Afghanistan is over. You are asked by the President to attend this event so that you can accept the award that I am to present to you today. We aren’t sure how much you can remember, but you did some key things that really helped out your men. Sir, do you recognize this medal?” said the man as he opened the velvet box.    

Billy looked starting from the top following the red white and blue striped ribbon as it came down to a point. The medal caught a ray of sunlight that now shined into the room and the colors had never before been as beautiful to Billy as they were now.  “Sir, after hearing about your story and how the mission was saved by your actions, not to mention how you saved the life of the man lying next to you now, the President decided to honor you with this ‘Silver Star’. Again, congratulations.”, and with that said the man turned and made his way out. The officers that were with him congratulated Billy on his new baby as well as his accomplished duties. Just as the man had said a phone was then brought over for Billy. The nurse smiled as she handed him the phone and Billy began to quickly punch in the numbers so that he could hear the sweet sound of Amy’s voice.

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The next few days went by anxiously and, thankfully, quickly for both Billy and Amy. She flew back to Florida and spent most of the time catching up on things with Mindy and her other friends until the time came for her Ob/Gyn appointment. Billy heard nothing from the Colonel for a couple of days, but was kept busy with two follow-up assignments requested by the AFN. Finally, he was called into Colonel Barnes' office on Thursday, the day Amy's doc appointment was scheduled. This meeting was very brief.  

"Braddock, I've talked to all the brass, and they need to know the delivery date, as close as possible. Have you talked to your wife yet?" "Yes, sir -- a couple of times, but her appointment is today and I should know something as soon as I can talk to her tonight." "All right. Let me know as soon as you can in the morning, so I can let them know." "I sure will, sir. Uh -- Colonel?" "Yes?" "Do you think there's a chance they'll delay the assigment?" "Well, son, they want to know the date, so it looks like there's a little hope, but I don't know for sure, of course. We'll both just have to wait and see." "Yes, sir. I'll let you know tomorrow."  

That night, Amy hung by the phone and answered on the second ring. "Hi, honey!" Billy's voice greeted her. "Hi, baby!" "Well -- I guess you went you-know-where today, so tell me! What did the doc say?" "Well, I'm fine -- keeping in good shape, she said. And the baby's fine and developing normally. And. . ." "And what? Come on, Amy, tell me!" "And they did an ultrasound and you're gonna be the daddy of a baby daughter! It's a girl, Billy! What do you want to name her? I like 'Angelica Lynn.'" "Well, uh, you'll have to give me some time to think on that, okay?" "All right. I'll wait." "Now, don't you go naming her yourself, darlin.' I want us to collaberate on this!" "Oh, I won't -- and we will. Definitely. We'll decide whenever you come home."  

"Okay, honeypot. Now, I need to know when it's due. Really bad. The Big Brass want to know, before they can make a decision about my assignment." "Oh, sure. Doc said that it'll probably be about the middle of May -- that'll make it somewhere around the fifteenth or so. You think they'll delay it?" "Well, I still don't know, for sure. But Colonel Barnes thought that because they're asking for the delivery date, there's a good possibility. They seem to be considering it, but you never know." Her sunny mood dimmed a bit. "Yeah, I know that. Shit. But anyway, now you can tell them and I've got my fingers crossed!" So do I, honey. So do I."  

Colonel Barnes wasn't in his office the next morning when Billy stopped by, on his way to begin a new project. He left a message with Barnes' aide and went to work. Two more days went by, with Billy on pins and needles. Finally, on Sunday -- his only day off of the week -- he received a written message from the colonel. It was short in length.  

Due to production schedules and deadlines for the planned coverage of upcoming operations, the request for delay of assignment is denied. Cpl. Braddock will report for duty in Operation Enduring Freedom as originally assigned." Barnes had written a personal note below the official notice:  I am sorry, Braddock. I did all I could for you. I already have your rotation stateside set up and that has been approved all the way up. Please convey my regrets to your wife."  

Billy's heart was heavy with disappointment, but he knew the colonel was a good person and fine commander and had no doubt that he'd done all he could do in the matter. It was something he had to take in stride, and he would. But the problem was Amy. He put off calling her until that night, but knew that he had to. He told her as gently as he could, but her tears had started as soon as the bad news had soaked in. Amy was emotional anyway and now, with her pregnant hormones flowing, it was intensified. He soothed her all he could, but let her cry it out, knowing it was better for her to get it out of her system than to keep it bottled up inside her.  

"It'll be okay, honeypot. I'll be there to help name her and I'll be back to see her as soon as I can. They'll cut me hometime, assoon as my assignment over there is finished. They always do -- for everyone. So it'll work out, darllin' -- just wait and see. Okay?" "O -- okay. Nothing else I can do, is there?" "No. But I'll be there and be back there again, before you know it. I promise." "I -- I know you will. I'm just so danged disappointed." "I know, I know. Now you get a good night's sleep and let our little girl get some sleep, too, okay? Got to think of her, too, from now on." "I know. Alright, Billy. Love you." "And you know I adore you, honeypot."  

Amy put the phone down and went to bed three hours earlier than normal that night. The bad news had seemed to drain her of all her energy. Across the ocean, Billy hung up the phone in the enlisted men's club only to find that Ray, who had aggravated him about bailing out of his marriage a few days before, had apparently overheard part of the conversation. Ray, being a smart-aleck anyway, immediately started teasing him, mocking his voice. "Sure, honeypot. I will, honeypot. Anything you say, honeypot! I'm at your beck and call, honeypot!"  

Billy was normally even-tempered and easygoing, but suddenly, he felt an overwhelming flash of white-hot anger. Before Ray, or anyone else, knew what was happening, he jumped from his seat and swung a hard right hook at Ray's smirking face. The punch caught him flush on the nose, breaking it. Blood spurted everywhere and the smirk disappeared as Ray fell to the floor, completely unconscious. Billy wiped his bloody hand on Ray's shirt and walked out of the club into the night. He never heard a word about the incident, officially, and Ray never smarted off at him again after that.  

The time went by quickly after that, it seemed to both Billy and Amy. His workload grew lighter as the time for his rotation home approached and about two weeks before, he mainly worked in the office, doing a lot of editing of the tapes. Amy's time went by in a blur of phone calls, doctor visits and get-togethers with Mindy and the other wives. Her abdomen grew huge and it was impossible to do some chores around the house, mainly those which required her to stoop or bend over. Mindy, who wasn'tnearly as far along as she, was a godsend, helping her out almost daily. She was bothered with pain in her lower back and her doctor gave her a special brace for it, which looked suspiciously like an old-fashioned corset with a soft elastic front panel. But she wore it and it helped her a lot. She felt sick some days, fine on others and developed a fondness for chocolate syrup on her hamburgers. Billy had laughed until his sides hurt when she told him about that. "Yecch!" he gagged. "That's disgusting!" She giggled. "Yeah, I'd have thought so too, six months ago, but now it's good!!"  

Like he'd said, he was home almost before she knew it, and he had to embrace her from the side, to avoid squeezing her big belly. Conventional lovemaking was now out of the question, but they found an alternate way -- petting each other like two teenagers, right to the point of the inevitable. Together, they settled on the name 'Angelica Leigh' for their unborn daughter, with the middle name in honor of Billy's maternal grandmother. The two weeks went by way too quickly for both of them and it seemed like only a couple of days before Billy began packing up for his deployment to Afghanistan. There were a few tears and lots of kisses when he left, a little more than a month before Amy's due date.  

He let her know that he had arrived safely and from that point on the calls were few and far between, since his assignment took him out into the mountain terrain of that country. She was able to see some of his work on the AFN channel on the base's network and she was proud of him. As the time approached, Amy's mom, Anne, flew down and moved into the house, to help her before and after she delivered. One afternoon, a little more than a week before her scheduled delivery, the doorbell rang and Anne answered it. A Marine officer, a captain, stood on the porch, with his uniform cap under his arm. "I need to talk to Mrs. Braddock, ma'am. Is she home?" "Why yes, she is. She's in the living room, watching TV. I'm her mother. Why don't you come on in, Captain?" He walked into the foyer and told her, "Make sure your daughter is sitting down, ma'am, and you need to sit down, too. I'm afraid I have some bad news to deliver." Anne's heart was in her throat. Oh, God -- Billy! She thought, but she showed him to the living room.  

Amy's face fell when she saw the officer and the look on her mother's face and her own turned white. She muted the sound on the TV while the officer spoke to them. He nodded and greeted Amy respectfully. "Mrs. Braddock, I'm afraid I have some bad news about your husband, Corporal William Braddock." Amy's face grew instantly horrified. "Oh my God!! He's not. . .! Is he. . .?" "Ma'am, please calm down. Please. Your husband isn't dead. No, ma'am. He's alive. But the Special Ops troops, along with your husband's film crew were caught in a Taliban ambush yesterday. He was hit in the right leg with three rounds from an automatic weapon. As of now, he has been airlifted to Rhine-Mein Air Force Base in Germany. The latest word we have from there is that the field medics saved his life and stopped the bleeding, but he's going to lose his leg, ma'am." The officer looked very grim and bowed his head slightly. "The entire Corps offers its deepest regrets, ma'am. And we'll be here at any time, to give you all the aid you might require."  

Amy couldn't answer, as the sobs overwhelmed her. "Oh, God, Mama. Billy -- his leg! Oh, God!!" Anne put an arm around Amy and tried to comfort her as best she could. She acknowleged the officer's offer of aid for both of them. Suddenly Amy sat upright and put her hand to her belly. "OHHH! OWWWWW! Oh, Mama, I've got contractions! I think it's coming now!!" Anne immediately got on the phone to Amy's doctor. "Captain, can you get us to the hospital? It looks like Amy's going to deliver today, instead of next week." "I'll radio for an ambulance, ma'am." He rushed out the door as Anne informed the doctor.  

-- Contributed by Larry

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Billy Braddock and his partner had completed taping a joint excercise between the U.S. and Royal Marines for the Armed Forces Network back stateside. They had packed the cameras and other equipment and drove their Humvee back to the American section of the British Marine base where they were stationed. They pulled up in front of the building which housed their film unit, unloaded their stuff and humped it into the supply room, where his pal Joe began putting it away. Billy retrieved the tapes and took them to a nearby table, where he began packaging them for transport back to the states.  

"About time to knock off for today," Joe observed. "I'm going over to McGuyver's Pub and toss down a few pints, as they say over here. You gonna come with me?" "Later. I've got to get these tapes an the plane tonight. AFN has scheduled them to run tomorrow. Then I want to see the Colonel. After that, I'll pop over for a few." "Okay, I'll save you a place at the table." "Yeah, do that." Joe left after stowing all the gear and Billy quickly finished labeling, boxing and addressing the tapes. He turned out the lights and placed the tapes in the 'urgent' outgoing basket which hung on the wall next to the door, then flipped on the amber light that would signal the civilian gofers who ran the packages to the air base next door.  

He picked up a phone on a vacant desk in the front office area and dialed the extension for the office of Colonel Barnes, the commanding officer of his unit. He spoke briefly to the Colonel's aide, who told him that the officer would see him immediately, then he hung up and went upstairs. The aide ushered him into the Colonel's office and after the customary salutes, he urged Billy to take a seat in front of his desk. He finished up a paper he was writing, then looked up at Billy.

"What's on your mind,, Braddock?" the Colonel asked, with a tight smile. "Well, sir, I just found out a few days ago that my wife, Amy, is pregnant." "Well, congratulations, son!!" "Thank you, sir. It was quite a surprise to both of us and she's almost five months along now. I wanted to try to see if I could possibly be home when it's born." The officer's brow furrowed. "Mmmmm -- when is it due?" "Well, sir, I don't know yet, exactly, but going by the timeline, it should be born sometime in May, I believe." Colonel Barnes' face clouded even more. "Well, Braddock, that's a problem. I haven't told you this yet, but you're due to ship out for Afghanistan in late April." Billy was astonished. "Afghanistan??" "Yes. The network likes your film work and they wanted you to go over there and tape some of the Special Ops operations going on. Your orders have already been cut, I'm afraid."  

"Yes, sir," Billy responded dutifully, but his face gave away his disappointment. "Look, son, I know this is hard news and that it's going to be hard for your wife, too. I'll call the general and have him call the brass stateside and we'll see if we can get your assignment delayed a month." Billy brightened. "Thank you, sir." "I'm not promising anything, Braddock, but I'll try. I will tell you this much -- if you have to go as scheduled, I will rotate you home for a couple of weeks, so you can see your wife before you leave." "I appreciate it, sir." "Very well. I'll inform you about your status when I find out something. Carry on, Marine." Billy stood and saluted again, then left the office. He was disappointed, of course, but excited in a way at the same time. He had wanted to go where the action was and he was going to get his wish. Still, it was going to be hard to break this to Amy, he knew. His mind was working on what he'd tell her as he drove over to the pub, to join Joe and his other friends. Her grandfather's funeral was today and he knew she would already be upset.    

Amy was already in her nightgown, ready for bed, when Billy called. She was still feeling the pride for him and it showed in her voice and manner. "Well, honey, you're sure in a better mood than I expected, what with burying your grandpa today!" "Oh, it was the military ceremony and all. It made me feel so proud! Not like most funerals at all." "I guess you'll be going back to Jax soon, now that it's over, and you'll see that doctor?" Amy suddenly realized she had forgotten all about the Ob/Gyn visit in all the hubub of the funeral. Mindy had reset her appointment and it was in two days. She couldn't break it a second time, she knew. "I'll be leaving here tomorrow. I'd like to stay another couple of days, but my new appointment's on Thursday. Mindy reset it for me." "Well, gotta keep it this time, so we can know when it's due for sure."  

"Are you going to get leave so you can be here?" The moment of truth, Billy thought. Well, he would not lie to her, or dodge the question. She had a right to know. "I'm not sure yet, honey. I'm being reassigned in late April. AFN likes my work so much that they want me to go to Afghanistan and tape the operations there. The Colonel said he'd try to get my assignment delayed a month, but he can't promise anything. My orders have already been cut." "Afghanistan??!! Oh, God, Billy!! Right where all the fighting is!!" He tried to make his voice as soothing as possible. "I know, darlin.' But, hey -- it's a plum assignment. All our crews are wanting it. It's like an honor, to be selected to go there, y'know??" Amy, emotional as usual, fought back the bitter tears. "Wi -- will you be home at all, if you have to go?" "Yeah, Colonel Barnes told me that he'd see to it that I got home to see you before I ship out. I just don't know if I'll be there when the baby comes. I'm hoping, but that's all I can do for now. I'm sorry, honey, but orders are orders and it's not easy to get them changed."  

She sniffed and dabbed at her eyes with a tissue. He was right of course. There was a war, like it or not, and he had to go where he was assigned. Still, this was some really cruel-ass timing, she knew. It took all her strength to gather herself up and not blubber like the baby she was carrying would soon do. She'd felt so proud today and she wanted to be brave about it. She was a military wife, after all, and such things were common in the service. "Okay," she finally told Billy. "If you want this assignment, then I'm happy you got it, honey. I just hope and pray that the Colonel can get it postponed so you can be here, but if not, I'll be happy to see you whenever you can come home. You know I will. Mom will come down to be with me if you can't be here, so I'll make it okay and you can come home and see your son or daughter as soon as you can."  

"You know I will, too -- as soon as I can get back there. But, hey -- keep hoping. The orders might change." "When will you know for sure?" "A day or two, probably. The Colonel will let me know when he does." "Okay. I'm praying." "Yeah, me too." They made some more idle small talk for a few minutes, then ended the call happily. It had gone better than Billy expected. Amy, apparently much impressed with her gradfather's military funeral, was trying to be brave, and that was good. But he knew her so well and instinctively knew how crushed she would be if he couldn't be home when the baby was born. He wanted this assignment, but God, how the timing sucked!! He sat in the phone kiosk in a corner of the pub another minute or two, then got up and went back to the table to join Joe and the others. Mentally, his fingers were crossed that the Colonel would come through in his favor.  

Back in New Jersey, Amy climbed in the bed and turned out the light. The dam broke then, and she buried her face in the pillow and sobbed.  

-- Larry  

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Amy sighed as she hung the phone.  She had finally been able to get through to Billy, to make sure that he knew what had happened and that he wouldn't worry about her.  God, she missed him so much...she wondered how she would get through the empty months of waiting for his return.  

The wake was to begin that evening.  Her Mother and Grandmother decided to only have two days of mourning before the burial.  Her Grandfather Edward had been a proud soldier in World War II, in the Marines - a machine- gunner.  He was one of the few who lived to come home.  Because of his service to our country he was to be buried in the State's National Cemetery with full honors.  

Amy was lost in thought, thinking back to her childhood and all the happy days that she had spent at her Grandparents.   Everything was happening in a surreal way around her, she looked up to see her best friend Alice entering the livingroom.  Amy stood up, hugged her friend as hard as she could and proceeded to pass out...Alice, thankfully, caught her and broke her fall.  Everyone came streaming into the livingroom, wanting to help.  

Her Mother's doctor, Dr. Bryuse, was actually in the next room paying his respects to the family - so he was put to work right away.  Amy came to pretty quickly under Dr. Bryuse's kind care.  

"Now listen here, young lady, you have to watch that you eat..you can't run on empty while you are building a baby...." chided the Doctor.  

Amy, who was blushing profusely by this point, said "OH, with all what was going on I had no appetite, I just didn't think thiswould happen."  

Her Aunt Sue already had a sandwich and a bowl of soup ready for her in no time flat...her aunt was funny...she talked to herself all the time..now she was saying "Can't have this, can't have you passing out...no, no, no."  

Amy agreed to take it easy, try not to get too upset - promised to eat more, stay hydrated and do all the good things she was supposed to do.  

There was one thing that she had wanted to do. Her Grandfather had loved his garden. He had taught her the wonders of nature within his little garden of Eden.  The most favorite flower of all that was his special gift to her each year was when his magnificent Gardenia bush bloomed.  He would cut the beautiful flowers and float them in bowls so that their glorious smell filled the house.   She wanted to go to the florist, she wanted a broken heart on a stand filled with Gardenias and red roses to mark the break. That would be from the Grandchildren and it needed to say "Loving Grandfather".  

Amy managed to get it done.  That night was the first part of the wake.  It was difficult for all the family. A great deal of townspeople attended also, which showed the level of respect that they had held Edward in.  

The two days passed ever so slowly, Amy felt that time had actually stopped moving forward.  Finally, the day of the funeral arrived.  

Amy sat next to her Grandmother, with her Mom and Dad on the other side of her Grandmother - as if with their presence alone they could bolster her spirits.  The minister gave a short sermon that was eloquently beautiful regarding Edward's life, it was filled with praise for true gentleman.   The soldiers in full dress uniforms stood at attention, ready to fire their salute to a fallen comrade...somehow it was fitting. As the one young soldier gently folded the American Flag into a tight triangle..he gently placed one gloved hand on top and bent to her Grandmother's lap offering her the hallowed symbol.  With proud tears in her eyes Sally accepted the flag...thanking the young soldier.  

For Amy that moment, more than anything, brought home the feeling of pride that she had in her heart for her husband.  She wondered when Billy was going to be deployed and if they would have time together before he was to go........      Sandi

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 Billy didn't know what to think.  He loved Amy so much, but he was so worried.  He received an e-mail from her Mom telling him about the death of Amy's Grandpa.  Amy was so emotional, he hoped that her emotions wouldn't hurt the baby.  

Billy loved being in the Marines.  He knew that his decision to join seemed out of the blue to Amy, but it had really been a life long dream.  He knew that Amy would be shocked that he wanted to join, knowing that her Great-Grandfather had died in the WWI.  But, war was different now than it was 100 years ago.  At least he wasn't in Afghanistan or Iraq.  Even with all of the London bombings and the planes crashing all over the world, Billy felt that his job with the Marines would keep him fairly safe.   

"Hey, Man, what's up?" his buddy asked after he got off of the phone with Amy.  "You look like you were hit by a stun grenade!"  

"I'm gonna be a Daddy!  My wife just called and it seems that when I went home last, we may have forgotten to use something.  We were both so hot that it just slipped our minds!  Seems that she is due in about five months!"  

"Dude, your not old enough to be a Daddy!  Are ya gonna bail?"  

"No way, man.  I love my woman and want to have this kid!  It is a sign of our love.  I just wonder how I can make sure I am home when the event happens?"  

"Man, I'm glad it's you!  I would feel trapped if girl announced she was knocked up.  I would probably bail!  

"No way, Man.  We're having this baby.  I don't care if it is a boy or a girl.  The good Lord will give us the child he thinks we can love and raise."  

"Do you know anything about babies?  I've got a little sister and I remember all of the crying and those stinky poopie diapers.  Are you going to deal with all of that?"  

"Ray, have you ever been in love?  Love makes it all worth it, the good and the bad.  I love babies.  They smell so good, well, except for that diaper thing and all.  Babies are so warm and cuddly!  You are their survival.  They love you unconditionally, and you love them.  The two of you each add what seems like gross sticky stuff together and you end up with a little human being!  It's amazing!"  

"Billy, man, stop with all of that mushy stuff.  Maybe I should take you down to McGaretty Street so you can get laid!"  

"Ray, listen to me.  Don't you EVER say anything like that to me again!  I love Amy and I will love my baby.  I don't want another woman!  I've never wanted another woman besides Amy.  I knew she was the woman for me from the first time I saw her.  Of course she saw me first, but when I met her, that was all it took! I want to serve my time, get the GI Bill, go to college, and live a happy life with my wife, Amy, and our kids."  

"Man, I hope I don't catch this sappy stuff from you.  You've got it bad!"  

"Ya, I've got it bad.  When I enlisted, I don't think I realized that I would be away for so long.  It's going to be a hard few months until I get back home.  I just hope that everything goes OK!"  

 "Man, there goes another alarm, let's go....."

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Amy sadly hung up the phone, knowing that the relationships that counted most in her life were about to change.  She thought back, remembering the special times that she had spent at her Grandparents home...how wonderful her Grandpa had made her feel..like a special little princess.  She still couldn't wrap her mind around the fact that he was gone...heartfelt tears streamed down her face, sobbing her heart out for the memory of times that would never happen again.  Her Mother was going to get back to her about the details, of course she had to go home as soon as possible.

Amy wondered how little Jean and her big brother Peter were taking this terrible news...she got up and started to pack a small suitcase.  It was too late to try to get a message to Billy, she would tell him tomorrow when he called her.  

Amy called to see what flight arrangements she could get going from Jacksonville, Florida to Old Bridge, New Jersey..the quickest way was to fly into Newark and rent a car.   They had driven down to Florida, but she didn't trust herself to drive alone so she decided to play safe and fly. The flight that she got was a super early 5:30 am run...so she finished packing, straightened up the kitchen a bit, set her alarm and laid her weary head down to sleep.  

"Buzzzz...Brrrr...Buzzzzz..." the alarm went off so loudly dragging a tired Amy out of a dream filled restless sleep. "Oh, damn...it's so early!" she said to herself as she poured a cup of tea for herself...she had decided to give up on coffee because of the baby...."yep, she said again out loud...no coffee, no beer, wine or any booze...she was determined to have a very healthy baby.   Amy looked at her watch it was 3:30 am.."I wonder if I can call Mindy and leave her a message about my leaving".   She dialed Mindy's number and  sure enough the answering machine picked up so she explained what a happened only hours before and asked Mindy to cancel the Doctors appointment saying she would have to reschedule when she got back.  

The airport was crowded for a Tuesday, especially so early in the morning...Amy was surprised to see so many people. She had packed a really small bag basically because she knew she still had so many clothes and belongings still at her Mom's house...so she did not need to travel heavy.  The security at the airport was pretty intense...she had to show her ID to at least five different people before actually getting to the gate...and it was the first time that she had to remove her jacket and shoes!  Still going through the archway detector it went off! Amy was gently led over away from the archway and asked to raise her arms as the lady guard gently passed a wand detector over her body.  To her embrassment, it seemed her underwire bra caused the machine to go off!  The lady told Amy it was okay sometimes the machine just picks up on the metal like that.  Amy wondered if life would ever return to the simple ways that she remembered from over a short time ago.  

The rest of the trip was uneventfull.  This was the first time that she was flying JetBlue...she liked it.  The people were very friendly and helpful, she loved the little T.V.'s on the back of the seats...it made the trip go so fast.  The plane came to a gentle easy landing and Amy exited with a sigh.  She made her way to baggage, quickly grabbed her bag, looked at her watch it wasn't even 7:30 am yet... she then made her way to the Avis counter to rent a car, she decided on getting a large SUV because she was sure that there would be plenty of relatives to ferry around throughout this whole ordeal.  

Old Bridge was only a forty minute drive from the airport, but it still gave her time to think.  She remembered her Grandparents big old home with the wrap a round porch, complete with wooden rockers and gliders..it was a magical place that soothed her soul even at a young age.  Amy used to sit on the glider pretendingto be the Queen of the Nile, living in special daydreams that young girls do.  As she neared her parents home she shook her head and said to herself "Amy buck up! Grams is going to need you strong..be strong."  

As she pulled into the large driveway, people began to spill out of the house running towards her car...Mom, her sister, her big brother and her Aunt and lord, yes! her Dad had made it home....now she knew they would be able to cope....  

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Amy and Mindy purchased the two home pregnancy kits and left the base PX, heading back to Amy's place. While Mindy drove, Amy had the interior light on and was busy with a calendar, counting backwards through the days since the last period that she remembered having. She counted it all again, to be sure she had made no error, then put the calendar back in her purse. She looked toward her friend. "Well, that's it," she told Mindy.  

"Is it what we think?" "Sure looks like it, even without taking the test. The best I can figure it, I haven't had a period since Billy and I made love when he came back home from boot camp. We were so glad to see each other and so hot-to-trot that night that I never even thought about my diaphragm at all! That would make me almost four months gone, Min! And I thought this tummy was from too much chocolate! I think the rabbit is dead, for sure! There's just been so much going on, y'know? Getting married and starting our new life, moving here, getting settled and meeting you and others, that I just -- just haven't paid a bit of attention to that at all. I'm usually so regular that I don't even think about it."    

Mindy stole a quick glance at Amy's troubled expression. "Hey, what's wrong with you girl?? That's great news! I'd have thought you'd be happy!?" "Well, yeah, I am -- sure -- but with Billy in England and not able to be here for me to tell him in person. . . I just really don't want to tell him something like this in a letter, or on the phone. It's such big news, y'know? I think he oughta be told in person, but. . ." "Yeah, but that dog's just not gonna hunt, Amy, and you know it," Mindy finished for her. "He's not coming home any sooner than Eric and you can't just sneak off and have a baby without tellling him. Good Lord, girl, you'll have to tell him on the phone. What choice do you have?" "None, really, I guess. You're right, Min." "I know I am. Now cheer up! Here we are and let's go take that test and get the confirmation."  

They got out and went into the rented house that Amy lived in. After turning on the lights and putting her purse away, Mindy tossed Amy one of the pregnancy test kits. "Here. Read the instructions, then when you have to use the bathroom, take the sample and do as it says." "Okay. I can go now, I think." She read all the instructions for the very simple test. "You go first, Min." "Naw -- now don't pull that one on me! You look the part more than I do. Go on and don't be a chicken!"

 Amy went into the bathroom, closed the door, and was in there a little more than ten minutes before she came back out, holding the test strip where Mindy couldn't see it. Mindy pointed to it. "Okay, Amy, stop fooling around. Let's see it!" Amy held it up, showing the blue strip had turned pink with the reaction. Mindy clapped loudly. "Congratulations, mom-to-be!! That rabbit is defintely dead!!" Amy put on a smile for the first time. "Now, it's your turn, I believe??" "Okay, okay." When Mindy came out a shorter time later, she was beaming. "Look!" she exclaimed, pointing to the pink strip. "We've both got this nine-month 'sickness!'"  

The two women hugged each other and danced around the living room. "Have you got a OB/GYN here yet?" Mindy asked Amy. "Of course not. I didn't know I'd need one this soon." "Well, I'll get you an appointment with mine in a day or so. You need to let her give you a regular test, then you need to go back when she tells you, until you deliver." "You going?" "Of course! I'll make our appointments together, how's that?" "Great," Amy replied. "Now I'll just wait for Billy to call, and tell him that he's gonna be a father!" "Don't chicken out, Amy. He's got to be the first to know. You can tell your mom later on." "I won't chicken out, don't worry."  

And Amy, true to her word, didn't chicken out when Billy called two hours later. "I've got some wonderful news, honey. But make sure that you're sitting down." "I am. Right here in this phone kiosk. So what's the good news already?" "Billy, I wanted to tell you this in person, but that's impossible and you've gotta know." "Okay. What is it, already?" "Okay, I'm just going to come out and tell you. Billy, I'm pregnant!! You're gonna be a daddy!!" There was a moment of silence that seemed like an eternity to Amy before he answered. The silence was broken by his long-distance laughter. "That is great news, but wow -- I've gotta take some time to get used to this. But how -- why? I mean, I thought you were careful to use that diaphragm?" "I usually am, you know. But remember when you came back from boot camp and we went to the cabin again and we were both so horny that we couldn't stand it?" "Oh, yeah! How could I ever forget that night?" "Well, that's when it happened. I didn't even have it with me that night. I was so anxious to be with you that I left it at home. I've counted backwards twice and that has to be it. Haven't had my period since that night. I'm four months gone, honey!!"  

"Wow!" That was the extent of Billy's conversation for several minutes, as the good news slowly soaked in. "Well, I'll tell my CO here and I'll be home when it's born, or I swear I'll go AWOL! When is it due?" "Don't know quite yet, hon. Mindy's preggers too and we're going to see her OB/GYN on Friday morning. She'll do tests that are a lot more accurate and I should know then. Call back Friday night and I'll tell you." "You know I will, darlin'. Now you take it easy, eat right and do everything that doc tells you. You're carrying some precious cargo onboard now, y'know?" "Oh, yeah! Billy, I'm so happy!!" "So am I, darlin,' so am I!"    

Now filled with utter joy since talking to her husband, Amy started to dial her mother's number, but no sooner had she reached for the phone again than it began to ring. She answered to her mother's voice, finally callling to give her the tragic news about her grandfather's sudden death. "Momma!! I was just about to call you!! Guess what??" Anne could tell that her daughter was overjoyed by something, so she decided to withold the news and let Amy speak first. "Now, aren't you happy? Okay, what's got you in such an uproar, Amy?" "Mom, I'm pregnant!! Just found out tonight! I'm four months into it and it ain't that chocolate that's putting the belly on me!" Anne was taken aback, not sure of what to say. "Are you sure??" "Yes, very sure. I counted it all up and I've missed my last four periods. Mindy got us home tests and it turned pink! I'm pregnant and so is she!"  

Suddenly Anne wanted to cry. Such wonderful news -- finally getting some grandchildren of her own -- and she had to destroy the happy celebration with her bad news. "Does Billy know yet?" "Yeah, I just got off the phone with him! He can't believe it and I almost can't, but it's true! What's wrong, Mom? I thought you'd be as happy as me, granny-to-be! You don't sound like you're celebrating."  

God, how she hated having to do this, Anne thought. She felt as low as an earthworm, but it had to be done, she knew. Amy had to know, like all the rest of them. "Honey, I called you with some bad news, I'm afraid. I'm so happy for you, but you have to know this." Amy's elation suddenly disappeared. "What, momma? What's wrong? It's not Daddy is it?" "No honey. Your grandfather passed away this morning. In his sleep. It was his heart. You know he had problems." "Yes," Amy confirmed in a quiet voice. Tears began to flow as Anne gave her all the details. How could one go from joy to sorrow so quickly? Amy wondered. Life just wasn't fair! And her pregnant hormones weren't helping a bit!  

-- Submitted by Larry "Moondawg"

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Time passed slowly for Amy, but she and Mindy became friends quickly and spent much of their free time together.  A couple of weeks after they met, Amy mentioned to Mindy that she was so sad that Billy was away that she was constantly sick to her stomach with worry and loneliness.  Mindy looked at her and asked, "Sweetie, are you having any other symptoms besides your tummy?"  

"Not really, I just feel like I'm going to be sick half of the time.  The thought of certain foods makes me green!  I LOVE to eat grilled chicken, but after I cooked it for dinner yesterday I had to run to the bathroom and I got sick.  Then this morning I was brushing my teeth and I got the dry heaves.  I just don't know what is up.  I talk to Billy almost every day, and I get lots of letters, why am I still so shaken up?"  

"I know this is a personal question and all, but Amy, have you had your 'lady' visit lately?"  

"My lady visit, what are you talking about, a yearly visit to the doctor? No, Billy and I..."  

"Stop! Amy? Have you had your, you know, your time of the month, lately?"   "Why, sure I ... you know, I can't remember the last time.  That is so strange, I'm usually like clock work.  Oh my goodness, do you think ... No can't be, we always use protection ... but that last time, that quicky.  But let me think now, humm, I can't remember having my, you know, since we moved here.  In fact, ....,  oh sorry Mindy, I am rambling!"   

"Honey, what do you say we run to the PX and get a pregnancy test?  Maybe they'll give us a discount if we both buy one."  

Amy looked over at her new friend that she felt she had known forever.  Mindy was a couple of years older, but it didn't seem to make a difference.  She knew that Mindy and Eric wanted kids, but she didn't know that they had already been trying.  Amy noticed the angelic smile on her new compatriots' face.  "Mindy, do you think you are, you know, going to have a baby!?  That is so cool!  I'm so happy for you!"  

"Whoa, girl.  This conversation is about you.  Do you think YOU could be preggers?  Have you thought about it?"   

"Well, ..... Billy kinda wanted to wait.  No, I don't think so.  But, if I am, if you are, we could go through this together!  Wouldn't that be the greatest?  But, how will I tell Billy?  It's not the kind of news you tell in a letter or a phone call, maybe I should wait and let him look at me.  If I am, that would explain this pooch I've gotten in the last few months, and I thought it was just good old married life.  But then again, it really isn't good old married life if Billy isn't around to share it.  Oh, sorry, there I go again, carrying on the whole conversation all by my self!!!"  

Looking over at Amy, with a little twinkle in her eye Mindy asked, "What do you say, girl, should we run over a pick up two of those tests, or not?"  

"Who's waiting on whom, I'm outta here!  Let's go find out what the future holds!"  The girls linked arms and rushed out of the apartment to get the answer that they both secretly wanted to be in the affirmative.  

*****  

"Oh, no Momma, what happened to him? What is the plan?  Let me get my things together and I'll be right over."  

Anne, Amy's mom, hung up the phone and sat down with a sob.  What was she going to do.  Her Mother, Sally, seemed to be in a state of shock.  The evening before, Sally and Edward, Ann's parents, had gone to bed as they normally did.  At around 11:00 the phone had rung and Edward had answered it.  He talked an old family friend for about half an hour, then lay down to sleep.  This morning he was sleeping late, so Sally had gotten up to do her morning routine of feeding the cats, making a grocery list, and reading the morning paper.  At about nine she went to take her shower and dress for the day.  By 10 she was worried because Edward was sleeping so late.  She went to shake him and he was cold and stiff.  She called the neighbor down the road and he came running to the house.  Then they called 911.  The Paramedics had pronounced Edward dead upon their arrival.  Whatever had killed him had been fast and painless, as he had a smile on his face as he lay there in his sleep of death.  

When Anne got to her parents house, Sally was sobbing.  "The President did it, Annie, he killed your Daddy!"  

"Now, Momma, you're not being rational! How..."   "You just don't understand!  All of this talk of the terrorists, Saddam Hussein, Osama Bin Laden, Al-Qaeda, and war had your Daddy so depressed.  He was in W W II.  He saw the death, the misery, the depression in the economy.  He watched his friends die, and had to rescue the wounded.  With the President always on the TV talking about war, your Daddy could think of nothing but losing his Son-in-Law, the Grand kids, or any of the other family members young enough to be drafted!  He would sit in front of the darn TV and sob, all day long."    

"Momma, Daddy had Congestive Heart Failure.  If he went fast like the Paramedics said, then his heart stopped beating and he simply ran out of oxygen.  It was his time.  The past month has certainly been rough for all of us, but, Daddy was ill, and you know it."  

Anne was always the level headed person in the family.  It looked as if she was going to have to hold it together again so that she could call and notify all of the family.  She and Momma would have to sit down and make some decisions pretty quick, with Daddy sitting in the local morgue icebox.   

The call she dreaded the most, was the call to Amy.  She was such a sensitive child, and with Billy in the Marines, she certainly couldn't tell her thestory about how Grandma thought Edward had died.  She would save that call for last.  The first call had to be to Aunt Sue, maybe she could help with Momma.

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Amy moved about her kitchen the next morning slowly.  She felt horrible.  Worried she might be getting sick she headed off to bed clutching her stomach.  She stayed there most of the day and suddenly felt better.  She cooked herself a light supper and went out to the small patio she shared with three other families to eat.

Mindy, a new young wife of another trainee, smiled at her.  Amy was feeling a bit lonely so she asked if she could join her and they sat around talking.  Amy was amazed that they had so much in common and a friendship was hitting off fast.  Amy found herself confiding all her secret fears that she felt no one else could understand and relate to.  Mindy admitted that she had the same feelings about her husband, Eric.

"That's why Eric and I want to have children...so I'll have a peice of him if something horrible were to happen."  Mindy admitted.

Amy hadn't thought about that, but she kind of liked the idea.  She sat back and daydreamed about what a child with Billy would be like.  His hair, her eyes, his build, her temper, Amy liked the idea and tears started to gather in the corner of her eyes.  Why was she so emotional?

They watched the sunset and then parted reluctantly.  Just having made friends, they didn't want to part so soon.  Amy moved back inside to her kitchen.  She cleaned the stove off, then on a roll cleaned the kitchen.  She realized she forgot the mail and inwardly groaned, it was too late to go back for it.

Overcome and full of emotion she realized she wanted her mom.  She sighed looking at the clock's time, but knew her mother wouldn't mind.  She dialed the dear, familiar, old number and held back a sob when her mother answered.  They talked for quite awhile about normal things and Amy hung up the phone and trotted off.  Feeling somewhat better about things.

She held herself as she feel asleep and thought only positive thoughts as she drifted off to an exhausted sleep.

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  --The enemy  

"Allah-u akbar! Allah-u akbar!" The cries rang through the windswept camp in southern Afghanistan where Pakistan and Iran meet the Afghan frontier.

"Insh' Allah, we shall destroy the Satanic invaders! America has made war on the True Believers, and we shall defend ourselves. We shall defend ourselves here, and in the heartland of the Great Satan. Every man, woman and child who is not with us is a target. Feel free to bash the brains of any Crusader, Jew or Christian, young or old! They are all enemies! Allah-u akbar!"  

The gathered jihad warriors, all male, all non-Afghan, shouted their approval. Their leader, curiously, was hardly the model of a fighting man. He was a short, slight red-haired Arab who spoke softly, with an occasional lisp, and minced about, when not addressing his band. He was called Abdul, the "Great General," and claimed his rank was bestowed upon him by The Prophet himself during a dreamlike trance.

The men talked among themselves after the "Great General" retreated into his tent.

 "We have friends in America," one said to a comrade. "In the US there are lawyers who belong to a group called ACLU. I don't know what the name means, but I know ACLU hates all religions except ours."  

"Why does this group not hate Islam too?" the other man asked, perplexed.

"Because they know nothing of our religion! They despise the Jews and the Christians, but they do not fear us or the evil Hindu or Buddhist. They only hate what they think they know. Someday, we will kill or enslave all who refuse to join our faith."  

His friend grinned. "We will kill ACLU too! We will blow up America and its evil lawyers!"  

 "Not yet!" his comrade interrupted. "The American lawyers are very useful at the moment. They defend our dignity and our rights. They say we are expressing ourselves when we kill and destroy. The American lawyers are our best friends right now! We cannot expect the decadent young people in America to martyr themselves like our heroic children in Palestine and Iraq. They are cowards and love life. We are brave and are happy to die for our cause."  

Inside his tent, Abdul the "Great General" opened a French sex magazine. He drooled over the pictures and drawings of tall blonde women. He wanted to invade America and have his way with its women. Was it not the prerogative of victorious commanders through the ages?   

But Abdul reconsidered for a moment. Would it not be more pleasurable to have his way with a young American boy? This would humiliate the evil Americans even more! But Abdul knew his men might not understand, so he concealed this part of himself.   Just then a USAF drone passed over the encampment. The men panicked. A few fired their rifles into the air before being chided for wasting ammo.

Abdul rushed from his tent and exclaimed to the men:   

"The cowardly Satan fights with bloodless weapons, with robots. I tell you, the American is a coward. He is afraid to fight us! He sends women and diseases to fight us! Our women give birth to martyrs; their women love other women and raise cowards! Victory is ours, insh' Allah!"

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