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2:32:00 PM EDT
Feeling Frustrated
Hearing Jane Siberry's "It Can't Rain All The Time"
A Series of Events
It started yesterday, when events began to stumble over themselves, to leave me rather perplexed and overwhelmed...Nothing bad, just a reality check to once again remind me I have a mite too much on my plate these days. It began with a pot of boiling eggs on the stove in hopes of adding hard boiled eggs to the chef salad for tonight's dinner and it landslides into....sigh. Let's start over - I've been preoccupied lately, multitasking a little too much. I walked by those eggs several times on my way to the basement for laundry, again when I went to the bins of dry cat food to feed the outdoor cats, and yes - once again to sit on the side porch for a moment to clear my head.
Yet, somehow I totally disregarded the eggs until they literally exploded. Alarmed Pickles came into the room and persistently pulled on me, frightened. That was the first I was even aware of the eggs I had forgotten. Smoke was billowing in the kitchen; I dumped the rotten contents and tried to salvage the pan. Pickles ran to the basement door, she wanted to go down; somehow to her this was safety. I couldn't figure out why she was still distressed when I had found the problem. Then it dawned on me, the smoke alarm. Of course I couldn't hear it. I went and retrieved a small step ladder so I could reach the alarm and turn it off. Even standing under it, I seriously couldn't tell if it was truly going off. From Pickles reaction after I pushed the button it was obviously the point of her distress.
And there you have it in a nutshell a fine example of a working dog in action...not surprisingly she was trained with the smoke alarm upstairs to jump on the bed and alert me if it goes off. This was the first incident with it going off in another area of the house and she did her job perfectly. I'm however doing that thing, were you try to reach back and physically kick yourself in the ass. Yes, I know I'm doing the best I can under the circumstances but dammit I should be more on the ball than that. I know Pickles is there to help and guide me, it's still so frustrating and alarming not knowing the damn alarm was going off. All the years I lived alone dependent on my own senses and welfare. I'm just grateful I had the foresight and courage to realize I would need Pickles in my life to begin with.
That was one event...the other is another litter of kittens that was born this morning. I'm overwhelmed this is the 4th set of kittens I'm dealing with in a year. I'm the only hope these cats have, so I take a deep breathe and plow on. No! I don't keep cats around that are not fixed. When it's possible I trap the feral cats and get them taken care of. In the course of befriending the numerous strays that are abandoned around me, sometimes it's too late. Trust me I would rather have it not be, as it's twice the work and money on my plate. Not only do I get the mother fixed but I also make sure all the kittens get what needs to be done for them and re-homed. Having said that 2 litters within a few weeks of one another can be , is overwhelming. I do this all out of money from my own pocket...I'm most certainly NOT rich. What's the alternative? I leave the strays to produce over and over in my community and end up being put down in the end...Sigh, I'll do what I can and more somehow.
These cats didn't ask to be born, to be abandoned and neglected. I'm one person but dammit I'm going to try. Eventually all of this has to show for itself in one way or another. Ironically, today is Earth Day. Perhaps you won't find this the same but to me these creatures are part of the bigger picture as well. Needless to say, I'm back on break for a week or so. I have to find some saving grace, somehow to figure out the latest series of events. I would be lying if I didn't say it was discerning standing under the smoke alarm and not hearing it....Some days reality truly does suck. Till I next post, feel free to email me with anything you think I may need to know. I'm truly sorry to be taking a break yet again, my plate is truly full at the moment. From my spirit to yours, stay safe and loved - you remain in my thoughts.
People usually consider walking on water or in thin air a miracle. But I think the real miracle is not to walk either on water or in thin air, but to walk on earth. Every day we are engaged in a miracle which we don't even recognize: a blue sky, white clouds, green leaves, the black, curious eyes of a child -- our own two eyes. All is a miracle. (Thich Nhat Hanh)
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Don't they make smoke alarms that flash lights also?
Good luck with the kitties!
xoxo -
hi indigo, do not kick yourself we all have bad days and we all take on more than we should we have big hearts! You are so good to take care of the cats, it takes a special person to care about something like that. One day at a time and one job at a time that's what my husband says, i don't listen to him, there is too much to do, pity men can't multi task! take care mrs t xxx
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Part of growth is understanding yourself and knowing when to say when. I believe in self-preservation, although the man I married thinks that means I'm being selfish. Quite to the contrary, it means I've accepted my limits and know when I need to pull back and focus on me. It's important for you to do this, and we understand.
You are an incredible person for what you do for animals. But you are doing it for youself as well. You know you couldn't just leave them to fend for themselves, because of who you are. And that's a great thing. You can't hear but still you help those who cannot speak. How amazing is that?
There are miracles every day, and we are part of them. Take this break, come back refreshed, and we will be here, waiting.
Always a friend,
Joyce
http://journals.aol.com/gapurplescorpion/randomrantsothermu sings/ -
I keep checking to see if you have made another entry.
Missing you my dear friend.
Rose
4/29/08 2:59 PM