COMIC RELIEF: Quack Quack, Paris, Taylor and Raven's Top 11- I've Got Issues

When I was a kid, I saw this horror movie called, "Theater of the Blood." The story line went like this- Vincent Price, the magician received bad reviews from his critics, so he sought vengeance. One critic stood out in my mind and Oatmeal. He was this overweight guy who had two French poodles. I remember his belly sticking up in the air, while Vincent grabbed a funnel and proceeded to tell him how he killed his beloved poodles. Then this platter of two French poodles came out. Yuck! As a kid, I gagged and actually re-watched this show as an adult and still gagged. The magician force-fed this guy his poodles. He died unable to swallow his pets quick enough. At any rate, the poodles looked like Oatmeal, so for the longest time I couldn't eat oatmeal.(smile) And now why am I telling you this? lol. Well, California and Chicago are banning foie gras. Foie gras is duck or goose liver. I eat meat and believe animals are here for us to gorge our faces with, so deal with it. Yet, that force fed food thing is rough on anyone, let alone those duckies. When the geese or ducks get fore-fed their livers get big. So I say, good riddens to foie gras. Don't you think that was clever how I put all of that together? lol. People will now think differently about Oatmeal, since it inspired my gag reflex for those little duckies.

I read this on AOL news today. I really have a thing for ducks today, so my quack quack moments continue-The International Bird Rescue Research Center in Cordelia took an X-ray of a duck. The X-ray looks like a little alien face is in this ducks body. Assuming the duck didn't eat a toy or had some disease that twisted things about, I have drawn my own conclusions. Listen up- This is a Christian Scientist's propaganda to support that humans were truly ancestors of Martians.(laughing) Since Ducks, Orangutan, Humans and Martians have all basically spinned off each other, this duck X-ray could mean much more in a few years. Soon, we will have Orangutan rights cause they're our closest relative and deserve some respect from you. The Big Bang theory supports that matter can create itself from nothing and BANG life begins. I always use that argument when people ask me how can God always exist. I am like, well how the heck did that matter get out there in space on its own? (laughing) Pretty soon we're going to have matter rights since we stemmed from it and then a relative of a sort. Science has a lot of faith, just in case you were wondering. To conclude, with all these imaginary theories, I must tell you that I am now switching religions. I am now a believer of anything, including gravity begot my personality at birth. It's why everyone wanted to become an astronaut as a kid.

My Taylor Hicks signed with Clive Davis. Smooth move Taylor, you will produce an excellent CD. I can't wait!

Paris Hilton's single, "Stars Are Blind," will come out this month. Yes, I am predicting it will hit the top 10. The gal can sing but it really doesn't matter if the song is excellent. Everyone is curious. Everyone will buy even if the song is crappie, cause at least it will be a collectors item one day. (smile) She has her own label Heiress Records, so her next album is in her estrogen control. Hopefully, her ego is sane and she will hire the best.

Ravens Top 11

The I've Got Issues (hehe)

1) When you see a mentally ill person talking out loud to themselves and you ask them, "Who are they?"

2) When your ideal life is living out in the deep wilderness and never, ever see another human being again.

3) When you see two bumper stickers on a car that says, "All stupid people should die," and "Jerry Springer should run for President," and that doesn't bother you.

4) Your inner thoughts have steps of order that always go rechecked by you.

5) When your idea of a perfect husband is a guy who says to you, " I told you not talk back to me," or when your idea of a perfect wife is a gal who says to you, "I don't like to talk."

6) You own a talking bird and you have no idea who the bird is constantly mimicking.

7) A friend is offering you some advice. Everything they say is about something they do and are teaching you not to do and you listen. Everything they say is about something they don't do and are teaching you to do and you still listen. If you want to be like them when you grow up, enjoy your co-joined flocking and simultaneously flight.

8) Everything, everyone says, everyday, you believe.

9) When brainwashed people say, " I have no regrets because everything I have experienced in life made me who I am." You reply, "Don't you ever want a detour?" They reply, "Never." You then conclude that they must be right and you could learn from them.

10) When the man your dating lives with his Mom, has never been married and you think its because he knows exactly what he wants.

11) Men and Women- When your dating and you think waiting a month or even a few months to have sex, is a long time.

Women only here- Gals, give yourself 10 points, if you think the guy agrees with you.

If interested in more Raven Top Tens or humor sayings- Please see links below

http://journals.aol.com/rebuketheworld/RebukeTheWorld/entries/1285

http://journals.aol.com/rebuketheworld/RebukeTheWorld/entries/1261

http://journals.aol.com/rebuketheworld/RebukeTheWorld/entries/1249

This entry has 3 comments: (Add your own)

#3 Comment from rebuketheworldEntry Author
6/3/06 3:10 PM | Permalink

psycofun,,,I fell out laughing when I read what you wrote,lol. We could make bumper stickers on your statement...Ok,, Have a good weekend to you to Deb!
#2 Comment from psychfun
6/3/06 11:55 AM | Permalink

Ok if all the stupid people die who is going to vote for Jerry? HA!

I agree with #9 but then heck I'm in psych so! HA!
#1 Comment from jckfrstross
6/3/06 9:25 AM | Permalink

oh please give me a break ! now everyone is going to want foie gras. Love the top 11 issues:) have a good weekend

Deb

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