Russian Missions in Orphanages

Entry 14 Russian Mission Blog

Goodbyes

Each year we spend two weeks with 20-30 different children. People being people, there is always the chance of becoming attached to one another. This year has vivid memories of the tight group of five older boys (Timur, Arxan, Sarxan, Sergei, and Ilya or little three year old Nina who ran the whole house and learned to say "monkey". It was great seeing my friend Masha again after eight years. (Masha is from the town of Tel’ch’e and now works at the children’s center.) This year though I want to tell you about Beatrice.

Last year when I met Beatrice, she was a small framed 11 year old who was part of a close knit group that was together from beginning to end and included her older brother Sasha. The group did everything together from pick-up soccer games to watching Harry Potter until late at night. Beatrice was the youngest of the group, but was just as involved in the decision making process as her brother and older peers.

My last recollection of her from last year was on my last night when her father showed up and asked to take them home. Russian law is quite complicated, and he evidently had the right. Beatrice was ready but Sasha did not want to go. Again, Russian law allowed Sasha to have some say in the matter. According to Valya, he fully understood the gravity of the situation at home and did not want himself or Beatrice to be exposed to the unchanging conditions at home. But after about an hour of begging and tears, he gave in to Beatrice and they went home. After they left, Nastya, the oldest of the group, turned to me and just said "what a nightmare". I guess that was all that could have been said.

This year I arrived on May 30th. Russians have a holiday called Day of the Defense of the Child which is always on June 1st. We packed the two vans with the children and headed to Mtsensk, the small town located about 15 miles from Tel’ch’e. There in the city park were some rides that were free for the day in celebration of the holiday. Valya had made the comment that four more children were to meet us at the park. Among the four were Sergei, whom I knew from last year and Beatrice. Her hair was cut short, but she was still the small slight little girl from a year ago. After a double take, I recognized her and she me. She did not want to be there and her bottom lip was shaking and tears were about to run out her eyes when I went over to talk to her. She loosened up a bit and enjoyed herself on the rides, but she really lit up when I invited her to walk with me to get my pictures developed. (I know Mtsensk fairly well and Valya lets me go as I please about town.) We talked about the past year and about her brother who is now working. Her younger sister was being checked out at the hospital and would be joining us a few days later.

We all returned to the children's center where the walls were starting to bulge from all the children, now 28 in total. Over the next few days there was quite a bit of turn-over and Beatrice ended up being the oldest girl at the center. About four days after Beatrice arrived, she turned to me while we were watching cartoons with the other children and started to rattle word after word… in ENGLISH! "Floor, window, door, boy, girl…" I was shocked. We would practice and learn new words like pumpkin and monkey. She would recite her new words during volleyball and was able to form sentences by the end of my stay. Truly a very smart and hard-working girl. But what set her apart from most 12 year olds was her love for her younger sister, Margarita. "Rita" was three years old and had some very serious problems. She would stand and rock herself and cry until Beatrice would come and hold her. Beatrice went to her every time and without hesitation, even if it meant missing out on other activities. The care for her sister came first and the love was obvious. Eventually Ksyusha, a beautiful 7-year old girl, was able to serve as a surrogate to give Beatrice some breathing room. The whole dynamic was quite impressive and just solidified my respect for Beatrice.

We colored, played volleyball, went for walks, watched movies and practiced English. Each evening would end with a hug and a kiss as she went to bed. And as my last day came to a close, it was time to say goodbye. I said goodbye to the younger children first. The slightly older ones understood that I was leaving, and there were many tears. I hugged and kissed about twenty-five and went outside to the six older kids. The boys all gave me a big hug and said goodbye. When I turned to Beatrice, she was crying. I held her for a few minutes and she me. Finally it was time for me to step on the van. I did not realize how close we had gotten until that moment. I gave her a final kiss and said goodbye. I’m sure Valya will do all that she can to have her there when I return next year, but the fact is that I will probably never see Beatrice again.

|  Add to del.icio.us |  digg this