Moving Mountains

Ever since I found out I got a job a couple of weeks ago, I have been a nervous wreck.  I'm barely sleeping, overeating (BIG TIME), and working franticly to get every inch of the house cleaned and organized (a never-ending battle).  Stan worries that my bad sleeping patterns will make it hard for me to stay awake and focused while at work.  I think that once I actually start having to get up at 4:30 a.m. and have to be awake and focused all through the day my body will adjust. 

I hadn't even realized that I've become such a hermit these last few years as a stay-at-home mom.  I had it in my head that I really wanted to work outside the home because I missed socializing with other people and having somewhere else to be (besides home).  Now, however, I am about to have an anxiety attack every time I even THINK about walking into work where others will see me and interact with me next Monday!  I am so fat and disgusting I would rather hide myself away instead of impose upon others.  (Ugh...I really gotta work on my self-esteem, huh?) 

I'll get through this initial anxiety, I am sure-probably after I get that first paycheck and go shopping.  hehe;-)~

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• #1 Comment from ukgal36 
  1/17/07 6:56 AM | Permalink

  You will be just fine!! the first day is always the worst but after that it'll be a piece of cake...I do understand how you feel though..I was home for a long time too and thought I wanted to be out in the "real' world working..then when i was working I wanted to be home...the grass is always greener on the other side huh?
  Good Luck!!
  Lyn
  http://journals.aol.com/ukgal36/Britsblog/