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WEDNESDAY 7.16.08

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Saturday, June 14, 2008
11:36:05 AM EDT

Whisperings!
"Jesus Christ came with a message
of hope, love, and
GODLY FORGIVENESS.
Why then are there so many folks
antagonistic toward that
pure, positive message?
We must never allow
the skeptics and naysayers
To negatively influence
our positive love and
conviction of the
purity and
GODLINESS
OF JESUS CHRIST!"


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11:29:45 AM EDT

#1 7.16.08


PART ONE
 
PRICE OF GAS AROUND THE WORLD
 
Courtesy: emmabritton


Prices are quoted in US dollars per gallon for regular unleaded.




Oslo , Norway  
$6.82




Hong Kong  
$6.25




Brussels , Belgium
$6.16




London , UK  
$5.96




Rome , Italy  
$5..80




Tokyo , Japan  
$5.25




Sao Paulo , Brazil  
$4.42




New Delhi , India  
$3.71



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11:03:19 AM EDT

#2 7.16.08


Rough Job, or what?
 
Courtesy: Lsovan
 
 
When you have an ' I Hate My Job' day,
[even if retired you have those sometimes]
try this:

On your way home from work,
stop at your WALGREENS and go to the thermometer section
and purchase a rectal thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson.

Be very sure you get this brand. When you get home, lock your doors,
 draw the curtains and disconnect the phone so you will not be disturbed.

Change into very comfortable clothing and sit in your favorite chair.
 Open the package and remove the thermometer.
Now, carefully place it on a table or a surface
so that it will not become chipped or broken.

Now the fun part begins
.

Take out the literature from the box and read it carefully.
You will notice that in small print there is a statement:

'Every Rectal Thermometer
made by Johnson & Johnson
is personally tested and then sanitized. '

Now, close your eyes and repeat out loud five times,'
I am so glad I do not work in the thermometer
quality control department at Johnson & Johnson.'

HAVE A NICE DAY AND REMEMBER,
 
THERE IS ALWAYS SOMEONE ELSE WITH A JOB
 
 THAT IS MORE OF A PAIN IN THE ASS THAN YOURS!
 





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10:54:52 AM EDT

#3 7.16.08


Black hurricanes!
 
Courtesy: lewdww1243
 
Well, it appears our African-American friends have found
 yet something else to be pissed about.
 
A black congresswoman, from Florida ,
 has complained that the names of hurricanes
 are all Caucasian sounding names.
 
She would prefer some names that
 reflect African-American culture
such as Chamiqua, Tanisha, Woeisha,
 Shaqueal, and Jamal.
I am NOT making this up!
She would also like the weather reports
 to be broadcast in Language
that street people can understand because
one of the problems that happened in New Orleans
was, that black people couldn't understand
 the seriousness of the situation,
 due to the racially biased language
of the weather report.I can hear it now:
A weatherman in Miami and Tampa says..Wazzup,
mutha-fukkas! Hehr-i-cane Chamiqua be
<headi' fo' yo ass like Leroy on a crotch rocket!
Bitch be a category fo'! So grab yo' chirren,
 yo 'Ho, be leavin yo crib, and head
 
 fo' da nearestguv'ment office fo yo FREE shit!


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6:37:43 AM EDT

#4 7.16.08


High Expectations!
 
Courtesy: Lisa,is,Mello
 
 
Reaching the end of a job interview,
the Human Resources Officer asked a young
Engineer fresh out of MIT,
 "And what starting salary were you looking for?"

The Engineer replies,
 "In the region of $125,000 a year,
depending on the benefits package."

The interviewer enquires,
"Well, what would you say to a
package of 5-weeks vacation,
 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental,
company matching retirement fund to 50%
of salary, and a company car leased every
 2 years say, a red Corvette?"
The Engineer sits up straight and says,
 
"Wow! Are you kidding?"
And the interviewer replies,
"Yeah, but you started it."



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Friday, June 13, 2008
3:35:38 PM EDT

#5 7.16.08


Origin of Fortune Cookies!
 
Courtesy: Confusionsay
 


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