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8:39:00 AM PDT
Feeling Hopeful
Hey everyone, I'm still here...........
Happy Sunday..........
Wow did this week go by so fast. To me I guess that's a good thing, given the circumstances around my home right now. Of course the weekends are never good because you-know-who is home for 2 whole days....ugh. It's totally not ever my intention to go into any kind of detail about my really personal life, but it's imminent that I will be going away---leaving. Looks like it would be around May/June, possibly later. I have to prepare and figure out a few things. What does all this mean you ask? I'd like to stay away from real detail, so if you could just read between the lines that would be awesome! Since having my journal for almost 4 years now (August is my 4th year) I have tried my very best to follow the rule to keep deeply personal things out of this journal. I save that for my hand written journal..lol. How am I doing with all this? Pretty dam good actually--life is short and I want to be happier. :) But home-life is not even close to normal and I can't fix it by myself. Enough said for now. Please don't feel sorry for me, pity me, or feel badly for 10 years flushed down the tubes, be sad for the fact I can't be a "backyard chicken farmer" or for Hershey (who is not doing well and soon will have to be put down) or the fact that I will have to leave Yager here. He will be in good hands as hubby does love him. Not the way I do because I baby him. Actually he might even become a much, much better behaved dog with just the two of them. That's a good thing! Yager can really be out of control....big time! Ok, enough of this depressing shit. I will keep you all informed as time goes on I promise :)
So though I'm still not working (but "V", huge grocery store is putting me to work in about 1 1/2 weeks-long story and I will explain later ok?), I try my very best to keep myself busy. During the day before you-know-who gets home, and even then it doesn't matter I stay busy with projects and stuff. Mostly I stay in my room and do my thing...LOL. I spend my time doing research, reading articles of interest, reading (lol) and figuring out how to make my very first quilt made out of 5" squares (they're a ton of things you can do with these squares, but that's the part I have to learn. I'm pretty much doing this on my own with no help except with books, videos from the library and YouTube and I can't forget the nice gals here on AOL and the Internet, especially "J" and "B", both quilters (Three Friends and a Journal) who have been just fantastic about helping this "rookiequilter"...me. The thing that is the hardest for me is the COLOR. I always though I was jsut OK with color. Uh no, not anymore...LOL. This is really hard to get the color to look right. Maybe I need to email "J" again...ha ha. She is pretty darn good when it comes to color, as is "B". I really want to make this quilt with blues and yellows, plus I want more than just one border. Actually I would like for it to have three, it in "J" and "B"s opinion would be that it doens't look to gaudy or take away from the colors of the quilt blocks itself.
I did make a "design wall" out of all things a table cloth for a picnic table. Once side is vinyl and the other side is a fuzzy backing. When you place your fabric on the fuzzy side, it sticks and man I mean it stays put! It then tells you take about 5 to10 steps back and see if the colors work. So far I am not happy with what I see. I LOVE each and every one of the 5" squares I have, their beautiful! It's getting them to match up like I would like seems to be the probelmo Here are some pics of some fabric pieces I took of my designer wall. This is just an inkling of some of the gorgeous pieces that I have. I was just in a hurry to put something up for you all to see. Believe me there will be many more pictures as I goalong with my quilt. I'm actually working on the pics right now and will post them shortly. What else do I have to do? LOL Oh, and by the way, I have planned what quilt I am going to make. Yep, I changed my mind again...LOL. This is "simple", but will show off the beautiful colors and design of the blocks and borders. It's what they call a Dutch Nine Patch. The Quilters Cache will not let you copy/past pictures of quilt blocks, but I will get it figured out so you can see. It's really awesome!
I started this entry yesterday, Saturday, and much is going on in other countries. First being Iraq. I feel so badly for the American and Iraq soldiers for what they are going through right now. I have had access to "live" fighting that is going on right now outside Baghdad and in Basra and it's horrible! As if Iraq can't get any horrible. You know anymore and I apologize for talking about politics, that dam McCain scares me if he is elected. It will be a Bush #3, 100%! I have however had a revelation about my support for Hillary, which has been there from day one. I truly believe in this woman and that she would make one of the greatest Presidents of our country-woman or not. But, when it comes to Obama I'm beginning to see something in him that makes me feel the same. But the way I am I'm having a hard time changing. So, I'm doing research, watching, reading and LISTENING. That is your best defense in most cases in this life is to listen and of course to watch..lol. Right now I'm listening to two audio books: "Dispatches From the Edge: A Memoir of War, Disasters and Survival" by Anderson Cooper. Fantastic book!!! If you ever get a chance to listen to this book and it's read by Anderson Cooper himself, get it :). I got mine and downloaded to my laptop from the library. You can also download them to a lot of cell phones now and of course the ever famous iPods and MP3s. I'm also listening to " The Audacity of Hope" by Barack Obama, who is also the narrator. Also a really great book. But right now I'm so into the Anderson book it's hard for me to go back and forth...LOL. Usually I read two, sometimes 3 books at a time. Weird I know. So, back to politics for just one more minute. If I had to walk into a voting booth rightnow and vote I would vote Hillary. But I am "thinking" about things. The one thing that just pisses me off about Obama is all these public endorsements. Why? What is the need? To me it's flagrant and that part of Obama I do not like. I was so disappointed in Senator Kerry publicly supporting Obama. It's fine if he does support him, but it's the manner in which he did it that pissed me off. During the Kerry campaign, I got out and walked on foot in his support. I still have all of my campaign materials: buttons, posters, 2 shirts (t-shirt and sweatshirt) and other things. And as for all this noise about Hillary should drop out, I say NO NO NO NO!! There is no reason for her to drop out. It ain't' over tell that fat lady sings!
My gosh this is a long entry. This is what happens when I don't dedicate myself to my journal as I should, and of course my J-Land friends whom I have been neglecting. It's just that so much is going on at home as I said before. I've caught myself just either totally feeling sorry for myself (not something I do) or just wanting to sleep. When you sleep everything goes away and lately I've been sleeping way, way too much. Who knows, maybe I am depressed. Maybe I should talk to my doctor. I love my doctor. My family doctor is great and he is one of those physicians that works with you, not against you. He "listens" and we work as a team. That's so awesome! And rare I think.
Ok I think I will close for now. I don't want everybody to be worrying about me ok? Please? I have a great sister, her boyfriend and my Pop supporting all I do 100%. And I have several here on AOL who are great and I even have there phone numbers to talk. There are a couple who have invited me to come and live with them. Can you even believe that?? I just thought that was the greatest thing. (sniff-sniff) There just isn't very many people in the world.
Have the best Sunday! I'm going to sit here on my bed and read my NY Times, every single section and that takes me about 5 hours (lol) with my Hershey boy sleeping on the foot of my bed. Oh and of course enjoying my yummy, strong coffee! :)
PS: Here are some websites that I talked about:
Susan G Komen for the cure Great website with so much information! I visit this site on a daily basis and always find something I didn't know, interesting and it's very easy to navigate through :)
Anderson Cooper 360' Blog This link is where he talks about when his book was released. But the rest of his blog is pretty darn good. Plus he truly is such a babe :)
Love to all...........
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Best of luck! -
Oh Gayla, my friend, I am here for you too....
ya know a year or so ago you hinted at something was up and then it all went away and I always wondered about that, so I know you guys really tried...
and poor Hershey.... and Yager... and I was looking forward to chickens, lol, I even found you some chicken blinkies that I need to email you...
I know you will be fine. and I am very proud of you for the walk you will be doing, keep us posted, so we don't forget....
Love you...
Linda :) -
I wish you the best in your upcoming changes ~ and at the same time I give you my utmost respect since such big changes can be so daunting. Good for you for making them! I am so sorry to hear about Hershey, I know all too well how painful this time can be. My heart goes out to you. Stay strong and take care of yourself.
Lisa -
Gayla,
You lifted a tip on the shroud over your private life, and I fully understand you don't want to expose everything for the whole Internet to see. I am sorry things are not going quite the way you'd like to, and I hope that everything can be worked out, to your satisfaction.
J-land is here for you.
Guido
http://journals.aol.co.uk/pharmolo/NorthernTrip/
4/20/08 6:59 PM
Keep quilting.