Coming To Truths With Ones Self

Your Honor:

First let me begin by saying, it is not true that Nick's mother, Kathleen, is bedridden as Kris states. I have been inside her home and it is immaculate. She is a single mother making it on her own by working, caring for her sons and by cleaning and cooking, as most mothers do.

 

I am the mother of Tiffany, Wendy, and am, of course, disturbed that my daughter would even think about sneaking out on her father Kris, and her stepmother, Kathleen, home. However, I am concerned at the way the issue was handled by her stepmother. In my humble opinion, Tiffany sneaking out and then continuing to keep in contact with Nick is not because of Nick. It is without a doubt because she wanted to. This is a matter of parenting issues at home and not because Nick will not stay away from Tiffany. Please know, I want what is best for my daughter first and foremost but I do not make excuses for her at the expense of another child.  

 

The time that Tiffany's father Kris had to take off and the time Kathleen, her stepmother, needed a sitter is not because of Nick, as stated, but because of Tiffany's actions. Tiffany's grades have not gone down, as was stated. She still has a 3.5 GPA and is on the honor roll.

Tiffany being slapped so hard she fell against a pillar and then shoved by her step mom is NOT okay, as far as I'm concerned. As her mother,  I would have NEVER have hit her. This disturbs me that, as a stepparent, Kathleen thought she has the right to hit my daughter. When her father, Kris, was told he said, "She deserved it." I am in complete shock and horrified.

 

Kathleen told me that I was NOT to allow Tiffany any contact with Nick. I find this offensive, for I only took my daughter to Nick's house to pick up her belongings that she had left there the night her step-mom caught her at his home. Tiffany was afraid, as she should have been, and left Nick's in such a hurry that she had forgotten some of her belongings. Tiffany went to his door, talked to him less then two minutes and he went and got her things and brought them to my van. Tiffany was in my sight at all times and we were there for less then five minutes in total. Do I really need permission from Tiffany's step mom, as I am her mother? Am I not? Mind you, this was almost two weeks previous to them ever trying to get the temporary retraining order.

 

As to the abuse Kathleen talks about over the last five years, Tiffany, Cinnamon, and Candace have mentioned to me on quite a few occasions that Candace and Cinnamon have been hit with a stick and spanked by their step-mom. All three of the girls have told me and Timothy, their stepfather, that Kathleen has called them names such as b*thches, sons of b*tches, and on a few occasions, even called sluts. They are made to call Kathleen mom and told that I am only their biological mom. They have been belittled and told they are fat or that they could loose a few pounds. I think the most damaging thing to the girls is when she threatens them that if they do not act in accordance with what she wants them to, then they will never see me, their mother, again and she will make sure of it. I understand Kathleen has seven children to care for and help raise and the stress she must be under from day to day living but, as my children's mother, I am seriously upset that my kids are being treated in this manner. Kathleen states that the Sheriff said, “Parents have the right to use corporal punishment as long as they did not injure their children.” Kathleen is NOT the parent but the stepparent and should not ever hit my three girls. The girl's stepfather, Timothy, has not in the eight years we have been together ever spanked or laid a hand on the girls. It is neither for him nor Kathleen to do, as they are the stepparents.

 

Kathleen states I cannot be trusted because I took Tiffany to Nick's house when his mother was not home and after Kathleen the stepmother told me I wasn't to allow my daughter to have any contact with him. I do not know if his mother was around or not. What I do know is that I took MY daughter to get her personal effects and she was in my view the entire time and we were there less then five minutes, as stated above.

I think putting a restraining order on a minor because your daughter/stepdaughter will not act in accordance with your wishes is the wrong way to go about this. I am not saying she should go without punishment but to put a restraining order on a boy and have that on his record for the rest of his life is not the approach to take. My daughter was able to sneak out of a second story window because her father Kris had left a ladder leading to it when putting up Christmas lights for just about two months. I am not saying that my daughter had a right to do what she did and take advantage of the situation. But, I am unhappy things are run so loosely there that this was even able to occur. And, a total of five times in one month. Yet, this iswithout a doubt, and I am sad to say, my own daughter's doing. She was punished by her father and step mom plenty by no longer having any phone privileges, ripped out of school for two weeks, escorted to all classes and baby-sat in class by her step-mom for a week, has lost all breaks and lunch breaks since this happened. She was also made to sleep on the floor by her dad's bedroom for over a month, made to switch to a different bedroom, so she could be watched more closely, is allowed no private time at all and is to stay downstairs. Also, no doors are to be shut behind her, and my daughter is also told what she cannot do on her weekends with me. She was made to listen to her step-mom tell all of her teachers what she had done and for them to not allow Tiffany to talk to Nick. She was also made to listen to her step mom tell most of the neighbors and friends what she had done, had to smash the cell phone she had earned a year ago for being on honor roll and at the top of her class (NOT two years as Kathleen states), and called names such as slut, b*tch numerous times.

As her mother, I thank you for your time and attention and consideration of my thoughts on this matter and know your decision will be based on a fair and just course of action. 

 

                Respectfully,

                   Wendy