Learning to Love ... ME

9:35:48 AM EDT
Feeling Anxious

Last evening I walked around in the heavy misty rain.  It was thankfully not too cool, but cool enough that once you get damp you can easily become chilled.  But that didn’t stop the dang misquotes from finding my ankles!  I hate bugs!  Not because I am scared of them, but because for whatever reason I am a “most delicious dish” for them.  I had campers that were arriving last evening.  So I tossed on my rain coat, my baseball cap, (to keep the rain off my glasses) and headed over to meet and greet.  I timed it just right as some new folks were arriving and some of my old faithfuls were there.  All was going well.

 

I had another pulling in just as I was leaving to head home… settled up with them and headed back home to the dry, warmth of my home.  Just as I put my hand on the door knob to open my door, my cell rang.  “Shari, we don’t have power.”  So I made a phone call to my brother who is a jack of all trades to find out if by chance he was closer.  No such luck, he and his family had just sat down at a restaurant to eat.  So I put on the damp rain coat, laughed at my lovely wet hair and put on the baseball cap once again and patted Chyna on the head and told her I’d be back soon.

 

Traffic going back to the camp ground was scarce compared to when I’d left 25 minutes earlier.  The weather had sent everyone back home and the festivities had been cancelled for the evening.  Amazing!  Some folks actually do have sense… winks. 

 

I am not an electrician but do know a few basics to do.  And having talked with Randy he’d told me a few things to do as well.  I tried flipping breakers, and such and to no avail.  It seemed that nothing I could do would keep the power on long enough for the campers to get power.  I tried plugging them into another outlet that was totally wired into a different area.  Still nothing, so we thought just maybe it was their drop cord and not my electrical service. 

 

A few of the men jumped into their truck and headed out to Lowes’ before it closed to purchase a different drop cord and also to get a new connection of some sort that looked a bit scorched.  Not sure if that happened prior or after they tried to connect.  But we wereable to connect them with 110 service until this morning where we will have an electrician come make sure our connections are offering the correct service. 

 

I pulled back into my drive way about five minutes until nine.  I was itching from the misquote bites, wet, cold and hungry.  But I felt better knowing that my campers did have some service for the evening.  I left a light on for them that they would be able to turn off after they rewired their connection on their bus.  I had to sit and relax and unwind.  And of course put meds on my stupid bites.  Did I say…I hate bugs!

 

Dear Heavenly Father, I thank you for all the many blessings you’ve given to my family and me.  I pray that you watch over all whom are traveling this weekend.  Keep us safe and dry if possible.  I thank you for the rains which will help those grass seeds to germinate and to grow.  Lord, guide us this weekend as we hold tempers in check and smile as we know there will be some who’ll push us to the edge.  I pray for understanding, patience, and a good sense of humor.  Give me strength to not give in to the pain within my body, and to move with grace and wisdom.  Lord, let me touch any whom need to know of your love and salvation and speak from my heart to any who need to know of you.  I pray Lord, for my dear friend who’s recovering from surgery.  I pray that she’s healing and getting stronger daily.  Lord, as with all who are in pain, which are sick of body, spirit or soul, I pray that you reach out and touch them and to bring them the miracle of your healing powers.  I thank you for my family, friends, and neighbors.  I

thank you for the people who will walk into my life and those who have walked out.  I know that by having met and known these people I will continue to grow in my understanding of loving all people.  Lord, put me where I need to be, guide me … and bless me… Amen.

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2:09:33 PM EDT
Feeling Adventurous

Change messes with people; we tend to buck the system when things change.  By simply being human we will fuss and fight change.  But sometimes, IF we try to see the positive in change we learn that it really may actually be better.  Maybe that is why our bodies seem to be a bit achier on rainy days when the normal for our climate is sunny?  Maybe that is why we don’t sleep well in a new bed or different location?  Maybe that is why when we wear a new pair of shoes our feet hurt?  But have you noticed when you put on a new outfit you feel prettier, nicer, a bit peppier in your walk?  So it really depends on the change. 

 

I love going to bed on Friday nights and crawling between clean sheets.  The smell of freshness straight from the dryer, or the freshness of the Lysol that I always spray on my mattress, have become a signal to my brain that all is well.  When I was a child, the smell of fresh air and sunshine were always what I looked forward to, as Mom had to hang the sheets outside.  Remember when you were young and going to a family dinner; all the wonderful smells of the delicious food that was awaiting you?  Or have you ever awakened to the smell of muffins that someone was baking?  Those are comfort smells that our body reacts favorably to.

 

Whereas, if I go to the hospital, and smell the alcohol, sickness or cafeteria food is readily available for my “sniffer”, I don’t seem to be as happy.  I feel a bit of anxiousness within me.  If I am talking with someone and smell smoke on them I tend to move back as I don’t enjoy smelling cigarette smoke.  Or if I smell alcohol on their breath I tend to move back a bit too.  But, if I drive a certain stretch of highway where there’s a coffee bean roasting plant and a cigarette manufacturing plant, I get a cozy feeling.  Mom and Daddy both smoked when I was young.  I remember the smell of coffee favorably as I enjoy it myself.  And the smell of the pack of Winston cigarettes that were always in Daddy’s chest pocket on his shirt.  I am transported back to being that little girl curled up on his lap.  I smile every time I drive by and am transported back in time.

 

Does anyone remember the smell of books?  How when we started school every year the classroom smelled of books? Oh, and the smell of freshly sharpened pencils?   How about Play Dough?  Oh, remember the tests that were passed out and the smell of mimeograph paper?  I used to wonder if the teachers got a buzz from printing those out.  Certain smells transport us back; they can and will affect our moods.

 

So as the seasons are in the process of changing now, there’s a mix of aromas in the air.  I still smell freshly mowed grass.  There are times already I’ve smelled wood smoke from fireplaces.  I have changed the scents within my home from floral to warm cinnamons and apples.  I am “warming” up the scents to reflect the changes going on outside.  I have to admit.  I fight change, but when all is said and done, I enjoy the change of seasons, they last just long enough for me to welcome the next one.  I suppose that it’s time for the hot days of summer to fade into the coolness of fall.  The leaves will soon be changing to brilliant yellows and reds and even deep purples.  I’ll notice the air getting that crispness to it and the air conditioning will be replaced by the breezes blowing into open windows.  Change, it’s all good when you don’t fight it.  So I will accept once again, what I can not change, and enjoy the changes around me.

 

Dear Heavenly Father, thank you for the beauty that you supply around us.  Thank you for the good smells that can transport us back into time, and the smells that alert us to things that have not been so pleasant.  I know that with the good there may always come some bad in this life.  But I know that one thing is sure; YOU will always be with me.  For that I thank you lord.  I ask that you put your healing hands upon all whom are suffering in pain.  You know if the pain is mental, emotional or physical and I know in your time all will be made right.  Lord, thank you for my family, friends, and neighbors.  I thank you for the people who walk the same paths as me and those whom cross paths with me.  I thank you for those whom are like me and those whom are different.  I thank you that we all have to find some change in our lives as we grow.  I pray that I grow closer to you Lord, guide my heart and soul and my feet as you place me on the paths I need to travel.  In the name of my Lord and Savior, amen.

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10:49:53 AM EDT
Feeling Inquisitive

Thinking is something that I do.  I over analyze things, and how they work.  I try to think too much about how and why people are like they are and if they have a motive for being the way they are.  In school, I was always the kid with her hand in the air, asking a question and being told… we’ll get there if you just give me a minute.  So soon I stopped raising my hand, because I felt I was being told that I was being rude.  Then there were teachers who would say, the only stupid question is the one that you don’t ask.  So thinking has become a favorite pastime.  I don’t think I’ll solve any problems in this world, although I’d love to be able to fix the economics, war, health care and such… But one person can not do it alone. 

 

This brings me to the election.  I am sure most of us by now have an idea as to whom we’ll cast or vote for.  I know that I do and if anyone is truly interested, you may email me and I’ll give you my answer and my reasons for my decision.  Keep in mind this country was established with checks and balances.  We have a President, Vice President in case the President is unable to fulfill the office and others that back him as well.  We have the people we also elect to represent us in Congress and the House of Representatives.  Now, here comes my thought process… HOW, and I repeat HOW is one man going to make a difference?  He needs the support of all the ones we’ve voted into Congress and the House to support his ideas or nothing works… right?  Or was I snoozing during the Political Science Classes?   Granted I don’t like politics, nor do I believe ONE person can make a difference. 

 

I believe, and we all are entitled to believe differently, this is the beauty of our nation… that for there to be a change in our society the way we spend, the wars we are involved in and the health care crisis, we’ll all have to agree.  We’ll have to find a plan that truly works for all of us and put aside differences in “party affiliation”.   We’ll have to all compromise and work.  YES, I said work for the betterment of our country.  Then and only then can I see that we’ll be gaining any ground. 

 

I believe we’ll have to stop being the “go to” Nation that everyone expects to bail them out.  We’ll have to stand firm and take care of the US first, the United States, Nice isn’t it how it is also us?  Let’s be a bit selfish for once and put the needs of Americans first, the elderly, the handicapped, the unemployed that are earnestly seeking work.  No one should be getting a free ride on our tax payer dollars, and trust me when I tell you I’ve paid out tons!  The rich are not getting richer from my view and the poor are struggling in times when the gas prices are so high it takes most of the minimum wage they earn for a gallon of fuel.  Fix this mess… and IF I come up with any great ideas, I’ll be sure to voice them. 

 

Yes, folks we are in dire times… and in my humble opinion, we need to look at the finger pointing and realize that when we point, more are always going to be pointed back to ourselves.  Start with yourself, because we all could improve in how we use our resources, and how we try to hoodoo the country.  Do what is right, and try to once again be proud of this great nation…. That was founded upon GOD… not the Dollar!

 

Dear Heavenly Father, guide us this day to help each other, to find the right way to solve the problems that our nation is facing.  Help us to realize that spending more than we have is not the way it works.  Help us to learn once again that work and sacrifices sometimes will have to replace the have to have instant gratification feelings we crave to satisfy.   Lord, guide us as we listen to the candidates whom are running for office.  Help us to listen and understand where they are coming from.  Help us find qualified people who will work for the betterment of all.  Lord, be with us, guide us and allow us to see good from bad.  I thank You Lord, for my family, friends, and neighbors and people whom have crossed paths with me.  Having known and met new people has given me wisdom to go forth with learning to trust and to understand where others come from.  You’ve given me some tough lessons and I’ve tried to learn well.  Guide me Lord, protect me from liars, and people who do not speak Your truth, help me to be able to see through the smoke they are blowing.  I pray for all whom are sick, be it of mind, soul or spirit… I pray Lord, that you reach out and touch all who need to feel the healing powers of your touch and that you will mend all the broken bodies in your time.  Remove festering infections that render us less than healthy, if it’s physical or emotional… in Your time, Lord, use me where you need me… amen.

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9:03:53 AM EDT
Feeling Grateful

When the phone rings and you see a number you aren’t familiar with and you wonder…. Who could this be?  A bill collector, a sales call, someone asking me to support a candidate, or someone saying all is well, Mom is fine.  I love it when there’s good news on the other end of the line.  My good friend was back in surgery yesterday, she had an infection deep in an incision from a previous surgery.  It was causing her more pain and of course the incision was not healing.  So to make her better, she had to undergo surgery once again.  My heart broke when she told me she’d have to undergo major surgery once again, but I had to put my faith in God’s healing touch and that this would be the surgery that would put her back on the road to health.  The news was good, all went well and the doctor seems to believe all the infection has been removed from the incision.  Praises be to GOD! 

 

Anyone who suffers in constant pain knows that it’s not easy.  You make the best you can of life and keep moving.  If you stop, then chances are you’ll never move again.  You’ll allow the pain to overtake you and you’ll sit.  You’ll just be stagnant and not living, just breathing and taking up space.  I have had to accept this in my own life, and have chosen to not allow pain to rule.  This is one of the reasons that this friend and I connected so thoroughly.  She suffers from the same pain that I do.  We understand as so many others do not.  Birds of a feather flock together….

 

I know that she has a long road ahead to travel back to health, but I have faith in her determination and her drive to be the best she can for herself and her family.  She has lots of people praying for her complete recovery and we are asking God to consider the works that she’ll do with the recovery we expect.  Good news is always welcomed and this is the best.  I will keep praying as will the rest of us, until she is back to her feisty self!

 

When we are down and out and need prayers, it’s a blessing in itself to just ask.  When you ask for people to pray for you and you know they are, you feel you have been blessed with good people who are all rooting for you.  There’s nothing that I believe more in than prayer.  I have seen miracles from praying for God’s will.  And I have had to accept that my will and God’s may not always be the same.  When this happens, I know that he’ll give me wisdom to accept his.  I am blessed with a peacefulness that helps me accept and to understand God’s will.  He will give you understanding if you ask. 

 

Dear Heavenly Father, thank you for your graciousness in being with Deborah.  Thank you for the hands that have touched her and the prayers that were lifted up for her.  I know that through you, you’ll continuously give her strength to battle back to good health.  Thank you for guiding her doctors and nurses as they tenderly tend to her.  Lord your grace is amazing.  Thank you for family, friends, and neighbors and the people who come into my life and out.  Thank you for the voices that I speak with and the people I have yet to meet.  I am blessed to be able to touch the lives of so many.  Lord, give me the wisdom to know when to keep my mouth shut and when to embrace a conversation and speak of your love and salvation.  Guide me this day as it unfolds…guide my feet, my heart and my thoughts… I am yours Lord, amen.

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7:32:39 PM EDT
Feeling Confident

Tomorrow you will go back into the hospital.  I will keep you in my prayers, you have my word.  I treasure the friendship that we’ve shared the last year and have come to think of you as a sister that I never had.  You have my word that I will be here for you when you feel like talking.  I have ears or eyes that will read and listen to you when you need to get things off your chest and there’s no one else to talk with.  You can count on me.  I won’t tell you that I’ll be here for you and disappear.  If I do, it’s because of an act of God that has called me to a better place.  Or the computer died.  You have my number if you need an ear, I’ll be there… if you need to cry…I’ll cry with you, if you need to pray, I’ll pray with you, if you need to yell at someone… let’s whoop it up!  What I am saying is genuine friendship means that no matter what, nothing will ever keep me from listening and trying to understand whatever you have to say.  People whom are genuinely caring friends feel this way. Those people whom have pledged their love to you and disappeared are so self centered they wouldn’t know how to be a true friend.   No matter how much one may say they miss the “love” that was pledged, we’ve been shown the sincerity of those empty words; empty words from an empty heart. 

 

It is difficult to imagine all the people whom have been hurt by someone saying something they do not mean.   Why would someone swear love to so many and then not mean a word that was said.  I believe it is for self gratification.  Maybe if they’d ever loved, honestly loved, they would understand that it’s not a switch that is turned on and off.  The women whom have been hurt will move on.  They will one day put the bittersweet memories of having felt true love on their parts and only hearing empty “I love Yous”  from you aside.  They will survive because they are stronger.  They will one day laugh at the silly little man that spoke those empty words.  The sad excuse of a man that would quote you God’s book and swore that he was indeed a man of his word.  Sorry, actions speak volumes and all the actions we see from your empty soul are lies.  You are not a man who’s given his word.  You are a sorry excuse for a man.

 

The worst part of a lie is finding out you were never important enough to be told the truth. 

 

Dear Heavenly Father, I pray that you are with my friend tomorrow as she once again undergoes surgery.  Guide her doctors and nurses, be their hands as they cut into my friend and help them to remove the infection that is causing the problem in her healing.  Lord, You are the greatest Physician and through you I believe she will be blessed with a speedy recovery.  I have no choice but to believe that all will be fine.  Lord there has been so many of us hurt by the actions of one man.  I can only pray that You will touch the souls, hearts, and lives that have been effected by this man.  Heal all of those that need to be healed.  I pray that you replace this empty love with someone genuine that will treasure the beautiful women that they are.  Lord, show us what it is to be genuinely loved.  Dear Father… give my friends peace, help them recover fully and to move past all the hurt.  In your most gracious Name, I pray. Amen

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12:27:31 PM EDT
Feeling Nostalgic

What is it about some people that automatically draw us to them?  I know that I have met people that just seemed to click with me.  We could talk for hours and still leave each other feeling we had more to say.   I have sat and listened and totally understood where this person had been and how to relate to them.  I have to ask why?  Why is it that we connect so thoroughly with some and not others?  Why are some people like a part of you and others you do not connect with?

 

Sitting in church this morning, I smiled as I looked around me.  It is our homecoming Sunday.  A minister and his wife were visiting that were at our church in 1967.  I sat and counted up the years and was amazed at how easily I was transported back to that time.  One of their three children came too.  She was only five and I remember thinking about how tiny and cute she was.  She still is tiny and cute, but looks like her mother did back in 1967.  I suppose one day we may all grow into our parents? 

 

Rev. Daniels' looks never were impressive, he’s short, has a crooked nose and eyes that seemed to be too big for the sockets.  I remember thinking as a child he looked more funny than handsome.  But when he opened his mouth to preach, he was a beautiful man.  All the outside appearances faded because of what poured from his heart.  He grabbed my attention as a young child and I remember there were a few times that he scared me with the message he preached.  I can say that he was probably one of the major reasons that I have always prayed and tried to be a Christian.  I admired Rev. Daniels and still enjoy listening to this man preach.  Today he’s retired from preaching, does a few homecomings from time to time and devotes most of his time to being a missionary.  He talked today about why we need each other and I have to agree that he made a valid point.

 

Why do we need each other?  Why does God say where two or more are gathered and pray in my name I will be there?  Rev. Daniels teased that some of us may not be able to get up from our knees if there were only us praying.  I laughed, but in reality, it is true.  I know that I need help from time to time if I am on my knees.  I know that there are other areas of my life that I welcome someone to be with me.  We need each other.  God didn’t mean for usto live this life alone.  I believe he gave us friends, other people, believers and unbelievers so that we could reach out and grow in our missions as Christians. 

People who have walked the same path understand that path; they know what you have traveled through and can offer suggestions and help as to how to keep on that path, or how they were able to remove themselves from it and to move on.  Ever noticed how all women who have given birth share the stories of how painful and joyous the births of their children were?  Have you lost a parent of someone you loved and felt the comfort of those whom have lost parents too?  How about when you have been hurt by someone you’ve loved?  People experience life, and in this experience they offer help and understanding by sharing how they’ve coped.  So yes, we need each other.  If only to know that we are not alone on this path called life.

 

This morning as I think of all the people who have come into my life and walked out, I want to say thank you.  For each of these people have helped in some way to form me into the woman I am today.  From the Sunday School Teachers who taught me how to sing and recite the bible verses, to the Ministers who sometimes scared me with the sermons of fire and brimstone, to the friends who may have shared experiences with me that were similar to my own… all have helped me.  I have to say that I have been blessed to have been touched by everyone.  Even those whom hurt me, or stole from me made an impact upon my life.  By looking past the hurts I have made some life long friends, whom understand exactly the feelings that were stirring within me.  Yes, we need each other… we need to reach out, touch one another through our life experiences, or maybe just a smile to a stranger to let them know we understand when the young child in the shopping cart is screaming at the top of his lungs.  It is life.  We live it, we hurt, we smile, we sing and we heal, but when we all come together, for each other, isn’t it grand?

 

Dear Heavenly Father, thank you for the people whom have left impressions upon my life.  Thank you for allowing me to grow and to be able to listen and understand the hurts of those who are following me down paths I’ve traveled.  I pray that you give me the wisdom and understanding to make a difference and to help them if they’ve fallen.  I know that you have been my rock and my strength through the rough spots I’ve traveled.  Lord I pray for all who are hurting.  Some may be sick physically, mentally or emotionally.  I pray that you reach out through one of us or with your touch to heal those that need to be healed.  Give us strength Lord to help keep us humble and in your service.  I praise your name for the people whom have reached out and touched me when I needed to know that I was not alone.  We need each other and I pray that I can be there for any who need to know that Yes, I am true to my word.  I will not leave them if they need me.  Give me words to pray that will help us all to find comfort.  I thank you Lord for my family, friends, and neighbors and for the salvation and grace your Son Jesus Christ gave to us when he died upon the cross.  Lord Guide me this day and every day… I am yours…Amen.

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1:55:53 PM EDT
Feeling Anxious

There’s an old saying when you feel that you aren’t making progress.  “For every three steps you go forward, you feel you are being pushed back two.”  Here lately it seems to be more and more apparent that we are not making any gains in the economy.  I see stocks constantly falling, jobs being outsourced or eliminated and it seems that there are even times we aren’t moving forward but are only getting pushed back in our attempts to move forward.  It’s scary… like trying to climb out of a deep hole with slippery sides, or a nightmare that keeps replaying its self over and over in your head. 

 

When I read the newspaper, listen to the news, get my stock reports and sit down before opening them, yes, it’s disturbing.  So I have to look at the positive that is happening around me to help ME feel better.  I have to not think of the reality of what is happening around me.  I have to remember that I answer to a higher being than the US Government or the IRS.  And I have to believe that in time, this will once again work out.

 

What I have a hard time with are folks who knowingly overspend.  I was raised to not buy until I had saved enough to buy it.  Granted I wasn’t able to do that with a car or a house, because I never made the money to do such.  But I would make my payments on time or before and every month I’d pay an extra amount on my loans so that I’d have a chance of repaying the loan earlier, thus saving myself a few extra bucks.  When I see the state that the nation is in now… I wonder.  Does someone have a money tree growing?  Nooo, forgive me; it’s really a printing press, so that new money can just be made.  Wasn’t it economics that we were taught the paper we use as money has to be backed by gold?  Makes me wonder, has gold really gotten so expensive that we are able to print more paper money and call it even? 

 

Okay, so I may not be the smartest person on here that is trying to understand, but understand this:  IF I can not afford something, I do not borrow for it.  I do not go out and buy something that I know I can not pay for.  So it would stand to reason to me that is a good rule of thumb to go by.  So why are big businesses able to do this and its okay?  Why can multi billion dollar loans be made and all is fine?  I know that I panic when I get close to payment time and I am running low on cash.  I take stock and decide what can I do without?

 

I have opened many cans of tomato soup, and grilled lots of cheese sandwiches, rather than spend unnecessarily.  I don’t always have to have something new, or go to a movie, buy a video game or be entertained.  My car for goodness sake is soon to be 11 years old.  I keep it maintained and in good condition but it works and I am not trying to impress anyone.  I am who I am.  Anyone who’d love to say differently doesn’t know Shari.  I live simply because there’s no need to not.  Yes, I have a home, and I pay my bills and bills for others if the facts be known.  I help my family when I can, give to my church, and try to help people who have asked.  I am not a saint, but I have a big heart.  I care about people. 

 

Life has taught me many lessons, and one of those is you can’t help anyone who is not going to try to help themselves.  If I am asked, “How can I my build credit?”  I have told them the best methods I have learned.  But it’s like the three steps forward and falling back two when you are not committed to keeping ahead of the payments.  If you allow them to fall behind or you won’t even try to add a couple extra bucks to the payment, you aren’t trying to build you are only showing the leaders you aren’t going to do more than what they ask.  Go the extra step, pay prior to the due date, and add twenty or thirty on each month.  Then they’ll see that you are anxious to make good on your commitment.  And when you come to ask for another loan, they may be more than happy to have you back as a customer.  But now,  I wonder, why this is what they expect from the average Joe, but when it comes to big business, it has a different set of rules? 

 

I have no idea what the future holds for this country, nor who will be the leader that is able to get us on track.  So I for one will stand up and take responsibility for my own spending.  I will do what I can to do the best for this country and myself.  I will eliminate unnecessary spending and see what I can do about ridding my self of unnecessary “things”.  Simply put; live within my means.  I will live simply, and find simple ways of entertaining myself.  I have ONE person that I need to make happy, that’s me.  And If my heart is right with God, then I’d say that’s a good start. 

 

Dear Heavenly Father, hear my concerns that we as a country are all about spending.  I pray that you guide each of us to search our hearts and to decide what we can truly do without.  Help each of us to be responsible and to move forward as adults to teach our children how to be responsible.  Lord, no one gets a free ride in this life; we all work for what we have.  Guide me as I try to do right and help those whom do need my help.  Help me to continue to move forward and for the times I feel like I am losing ground do know that when I have my faith in You, I will never be alone in my quest.  Dear Father I am scared and I am concerned that life as we have known it will be drastically changed.  Help me to embrace change and to learn that because it may be different does not mean it is bad.  Guide us Lord in all we do, and help us always to give praise to you for our many blessings.  Thank you Lord for my family, for the new little girl who’ll bring so much love and happiness to us and for the promise that new life gives us.  I thank you for good friends, neighbors and people who walk into and out of our lives daily.  Dear Lord, my heart is so full and I know that you have a use for me.  Guide me where you need me to be.  Place my hands upon those who need to know of your love and your salvation.  Lord, if my hands are to heal, then give me the gifts I need to do so.  I am yours Lord; put me where I need to be.  Lord, you know the hearts, the souls and bodies of each of us, and you know those of us who struggle....In the name of my Lord and Savior, amen.

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10:12:05 AM EDT
Feeling Jubilant

Several months ago, I blogged on having “seen God today”, I’d gone with my niece and her husband for the first ultrasound of the new life they were to bring into this world.  I marveled at the wonder on their faces as they watched the scan of their little tiny daughter as she was wiggling and growing inside my niece. 

 

Well, my brother Tim called me a bit after midnight last night.  He said he was worried and just needed to talk.  Amy had gone into labor and was having to go into surgery.  He didn’t understand what all was happening, but his daughter, his baby, was going into surgery and he was thousands of miles away.  Any parent would be concerned that loves and worries over their kids. 

 

Being a big sister, and since I have had two c-sections myself.  I assured him that she’d be fine.  A bit sore and she may move a bit slower, but not having to suffer through a long labor, I’d pick a c-section any day! 

 

Well morning came and I had yet to hear back from Tim.  So I called his house and his cell.  I figured he’d already gone to school, but really expected to hear something.  Especially with the concern he had last night.  I finally texted him and said….”CALL ME!”  He did.

 

Rylie Kae was born at 10:52.  She is 18 inches long and weights a whopping 6 lbs and 5 oz.  She is beautiful and is perfect as far as anyone can tell.  Her mommy is doing well.  I called and talked with Amy this morning.  Since Rylie was born in Montana,her birthday is Oct 2, 2008.  I had to smile, as it is a day after my nephew’s birthday.  From the end of September until October 6, our family would have had four birthdays to celebrate if Mom and Dad were still with us.  We have been blessed. 

 

So I feel my heart smiling a bit wider today.  I know God answers prayers and I thank Him for the beautiful new life that we have been blessed with.  I am sure Jovi and Braxton will teach Rylie all the neat stuff that older cousins will.  I am sure that Grandma Kath and Uncle Brian will give this little girl plenty of love too.  She is a gift as all babies are.  She is a promise that life will go on and that we should always cherish the lives we are given.  She is another princess.  Smiles…Isn’t life grand?  And yes, when I get pictures, I will share.

 

Dear Father, I praise your name and thank you for the gift of Rylie Kae.  I thank you that Amy is doing well, and ask that you touch her and help her to heal without complications.  I know that she is overwhelmed with the joy of having a new daughter, and pray that every day she realizes what a gift children are to us.  Lord, our family is blessed.  I praise your name for this.  Lord, guide Eric as he brings his new daughter home; help him understand the special bond between a daughter and her daddy.  I smile because I know how easily daughters are able to wrap their daddies around their fingers.  Lord, don’t let Rylie wrap him so tightly he’s not able to breathe.  Lord, thank you.  Dear Father thank you for my family, friends, neighbors and those folks whom walked into and out of my life.  I thank you for the lessons I have learned and those that will be before me.  I pray that you guide us daily to walk upon the paths you’ve chosen for us.  Lord, thank you for this beautiful new life and the happy feelings I have bubbling within me for my brother as he had become grandpa once again!  Lord, place your hands upon those of us who need to be healed, you know if we are suffering in spirit, our emotions, or physically.  Your touch will heal us.  Guide me this day to touch a heart and to never fail to show that I am a child of yours… amen.

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9:52:59 AM EDT
Feeling Determined

 

Friendship… I see this as a very special word.  It has a deep and meaningful meaning to me.  I think if you have a bond and a friendship with someone you are there for them no matter what.  You celebrate with when there’s cause for celebration, you mourn when there’s reason to mourn. And above all else you stand by your friend.  I have had “fair-weather” friends, who were only there for me when things were going well for me.  I have had friends who have used any clout that I may have to their advantage to gain from knowing me.  I have had friends who would call and ask what I was doing and gladly come over and help me dig holes to plant trees.  I have had friends who’d sit and hold the box of tissues as I mourned the death of a parent or a pet.  I have had friends who could actually finish any statement that I may start, because they knew me that well.  I have friends who will continue to pray for and with me when I ask.  And I have had friends who run at the first sign that something isn’t going to go well and they feel they want no part of it.  What kind of a friend will you be to those you proclaim to be friends with?

 

It really doesn’t take rocket science to figure out when a friend isn’t genuine.  And when realize they are not, it hurts.  It hurts because you’ve more than likely given your all toward building what you believed was a good strong commitment to the friendship.  You have been honest in your attempt to be there for that friend.  When a so called “friend” uses you, and you finally realize that you were the only one working toward that commitment, shock may be your first reaction.  You may be in disbelief that someone could be so callous to lie to your face about things.  You will be in denial that someone could actually stoop so low as to look into your eyes and lie to you.  How can someone proclaim to love you and not be there for you when you are having life threatening medical procedures?  How can someone knowingly take money from you and never attempt to repay you.  So what if you have more than they do isn’t it right to make good on loans?  Why would you as that friend believe its okay to not make good on a loan, or to just simply disappear and never explain why you’ve chosen to do this?  It isn’t.  It is a coward’s way out of something if indeed there were feelings at all of a friendship.  If there were not, then you were simply defrauded. 

 

Secondly you may feel anger; you may want to make that friend feel all the emotional hurt that they’ve caused you.  I know that I have had friends who totally ticked me off.  Why would that happen?  Why would I become upset and angry?  I would say because I expected more from the friendship.  I expected the friend to be honest with me, and to feel they knew me well enough to know that I could accept them any way.  But when they show that they don’t care enough to explain their actions, then it’s clear to me that this was not someone who ever cared about me.  Their soul purpose in making my acquaintance was to take from me whatever they could.

 

Thirdly after the shock or hurt and anger, you finally get to the peace.  Peace that this person, because you no longer think of them as a friend, will answer to someone other than you.  They have a higher being that has seen the way that they used you.  And I believe God will have his revenge.  You can not continue to use God’s name in vain, and not have his judgment spared.  You are not someone that most people would want in their lives.  Yes, God says to love you neighbor as yourself, and you’ve more than likely put forth every effort to do this.  You have been hurt and you’ve mourned the “friendship” as you knew it.  You can in time turn loose of the friendship, and you can move forward.  Will you ever totally forget how you were hurt?  I doubt it, you’ve learned a very tough lesson from having someone come into your life and rape your emotions.   You may take a bit longer to trust again, and when you hear an “I love you”, from someone you may be slow to believe.  But you will find love and you will find genuine friends, because “fair-weather”friends are like storms, they come and go, but genuine friends are there to weather all things with you.  When you find someone who is always there for you, you have been blessed with a true friend. 

 

Dear Heavenly Father, as many of us have learned there are not nice people in this world.  As much as we’ve strived to love all your children, there are some that test our hearts.  There are people who seek us out to deceive us.  I pray Lord that you continue to give us wisdom to sort out the true from the false.  Lord forgive us for the times that we doubted your plan for our lives, and help us to know that the paths we’ve walked have opened our hearts and eyes to new adventures, to new situations and from those we have learned.  We have grown and spiritually we will continue to have growth from having walked these paths.  Lord for those “friends” who have only used us… I sincerely ask that you place your hand upon their hearts… that you heal the hurts within them that cause them to be this way.  Dear Heavenly Father, I thank you for my family, for the good honest friends I have in my life, for the beauty of having wonderful neighbors and Lord, I thank you for the good and bad friends who have shown me how to appreciate the genuineness of honesty.  I thank you for the people who walk into and out of my life daily, who show me kindness with a smile, or a wink… or the giggles of a child that bring music to my ears.  I am blessed Lord because of all that I have lived.  I am where you have chosen for me to be and Lord, daily, hourly andwith every minute I pray that you will consume my being and guide me to love more deeply and more genuinely you and those that need to know of your amazing love.  Dear Father, I have a dear friend that needs to feel your touch.  This friend needs to know that you have not forsaken her, but you are there healing her in your time.  I pray that you remove the infection from her body, and allow her to heal quickly.  Lord, with you all is possible, and I pray that you never allow doubt to come into her heart.  Give her the strength she needs and the wisdom to grow from this, and Lord, I know soon that you’ll give her the happiness she so deserves to find.  In the name of my Lord and Savior I pray for all who are sick, be it mind, soul, spirit or body.  You My Lord have plans for all of us and in your time… all will be made right.  Amen.  

 

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8:17:07 AM EDT

Below is a devotional that I received this morning.  I read it and smiled, because it rang so true.  There are other ways that we use our Lord's name in vain.  Do you follow through with your word?  Do you keep your word to those you give it to, or are you a say what you mean and mean what you say type of person? 

Last night I<