Learning to Love ... ME

Sitting outside on the lounger looking up at the clouds gave me insight into how things change.  I saw and watched a cloud that looked like a star become a crab, bunnies into cotton balls… castles into waves… I have long been fascinated just to lie on my back and watch the clouds form and un-form, and drift away.  Yes, I admit to having a great imagination when it comes to being able to “see” things in the clouds.  It was a childhood game that was free and that could be easily enjoyed by all, just lying around and using our noodles.  Those were the days. 

As I think about how easily the clouds drift apart and formed different images, it reminded me of how relationships, friendships and people are doing the same.  There were people that I totally put my trust into, that I saw change before my eyes.  There were people whom I barely trusted, who proved to be very trustworthy.  We just never know what happens within one that causes them to change.  I am not saying that change is not a good thing.  It sometimes is.  People usually fight change and rebel against it.  But when it’s for the best, usually it works out for the betterment of all. 

When someone tells me something about someone that I know, I try to keep an opened mind about that person.  I try to give them the benefit of the doubt and enough rope to pull taunt and hang themselves.  Unfortunately more times than not when people begin to talk about things they are only assuming they know about they wind up hanging themselves.  I have no clue why some people try to make my business theirs.  I can only say to them… you haven’t a clue.  I pride myself on my reputation.  I am fair and I am as honest as the day is long.  I do not find a reason to lie or to say things that aren’t remotely true.  When I have told someone to leave me alone, it was because anything that I would say was being passed on to others, someone who pretended to be a friend.  As with the clouds, this friend changed into someone that was vindictive and slanderous.  I was hearing things that were not true.  I have read things that I had to sit and laugh about because the very idea was humorous.  When I come up against someone who pretends to be a friend and does things like this, I felt it was best to cut the ties and to move on.  Now I hear that this person is totally obsessed with me.  It seems it just kills someone’s curiosity that they do not know what I am doing.  Just know that I have done nothing wrong, I have spoken the truth, and I will continue to speak it as I know it.  For those who want to believe I am lying, believe what you may.  As I was told by a “great man” once… whatever helps you sleep at night. 

Dear Heavenly Father, I pray that you reach out and touch the hearts of these people who are slanderous of me.  I pray that you open their eyes, and show them that when I tell the truth that yes, sometimes it will hurt.  I pray Lord, that the jealousy and obsession they have for me serves them some purpose and that in time they are able to put their petty ways behind them.  I will pray for those Lord who have done me wrong, and I pray Lord that you will touch the bitter lonely hearts of any and all.  Lord, You know my heart, and you know the truth.  You know who is spreading lies and rumors and I put this in your hands.  Because of You Lord, I sleep well at night, I know my heart and I know what happened.  I praise your name for the Grace you’ve given to me, for forgiving me of my sins, and for allowing me the understanding to know that some people are sick.  Lord, for those who are suffering, sick of mind or body, I pray that you reach out your healing hands and touch them so that they may be whole.  I pray for our service men and women who are fighting in wars, and who have fought to keep our country free.  I pray for the souls of those young men and women who have lost their lives fighting.  Lord, our world is a mess, I see this daily, and I can only pray that in time, you will help us to mend fences and to stop fighting.  Lord I thank you for my family, my friends, my neighbors, people I will meet today and those that I will meet tomorrow.  You are my rock, my salvation and the one who I will always come to for guidance.  Guide me in your word and help me to walk in your light.  In the name of my Lord and Savior, amen.

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