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5/20 Little problems & You don't love me any more
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Sunday, May 20, 2007
1:16:00 PM EDT
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1:16:00 PM EDT
5/20 Little problems & You don't love me any more
At dawn the telephone rings:
"Hello, Senor Rod? This is Ernesto the caretaker at your country house."
"Ah yes, Ernesto. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?"
"Um, I am just calling to advise you, Senor Rod, that your parrot died."
"My parrot? Dead? The one that won the International competition?"
"Si, Senor, that's the one."
"Damn! That's a pity! I spent a small fortune on that bird. What did he die from?"
"From eating rotten meat, Senor Rod"
"Rotten meat? Who the hell fed him rotten meat?"
"Nobody, Senor. He ate the meat of the dead horse."
"Dead horse? What dead horse?"
"The thoroughbred, Senor Rod."
"My prize thoroughbred is dead?"
"Si, Senor Rod, he died from all that work pulling the water cart."
"Are you insane? What water cart?"
"The one we used to put out the fire, Senor"
"Good Lord! What fire are you talking about, man?"
"The one at your house, Senor! A candle fell and the curtains caught on fire"
"What the hell??.... Are you saying that my mansion is destroyed because of a candle??!!!"
"Si, Senor Rod."
"But there's electricity at the house!!! What was the candle for?"
"For the funeral, Senor Rod."
"WHAT BLOODY FUNERAL?"
"Your wife's, Senor Rod...She showed up one night out of the blue and I thought she was a thief, so I hit her with your new TaylorMade R7 SuperQuad 460 Driver."
(That is a Golf Club for you non sports followers)
SILENCE...................
LONG SILENCE...............
"Ernesto, if you broke that driver, you're in deep shit!"
"Hello, Senor Rod? This is Ernesto the caretaker at your country house."
"Ah yes, Ernesto. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?"
"Um, I am just calling to advise you, Senor Rod, that your parrot died."
"My parrot? Dead? The one that won the International competition?"
"Si, Senor, that's the one."
"Damn! That's a pity! I spent a small fortune on that bird. What did he die from?"
"From eating rotten meat, Senor Rod"
"Rotten meat? Who the hell fed him rotten meat?"
"Nobody, Senor. He ate the meat of the dead horse."
"Dead horse? What dead horse?"
"The thoroughbred, Senor Rod."
"My prize thoroughbred is dead?"
"Si, Senor Rod, he died from all that work pulling the water cart."
"Are you insane? What water cart?"
"The one we used to put out the fire, Senor"
"Good Lord! What fire are you talking about, man?"
"The one at your house, Senor! A candle fell and the curtains caught on fire"
"What the hell??.... Are you saying that my mansion is destroyed because of a candle??!!!"
"Si, Senor Rod."
"But there's electricity at the house!!! What was the candle for?"
"For the funeral, Senor Rod."
"WHAT BLOODY FUNERAL?"
"Your wife's, Senor Rod...She showed up one night out of the blue and I thought she was a thief, so I hit her with your new TaylorMade R7 SuperQuad 460 Driver."
(That is a Golf Club for you non sports followers)
SILENCE...................
LONG SILENCE...............
"Ernesto, if you broke that driver, you're in deep shit!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
One night at the dinner table Jill commented, "When we were first married, you took the small piece of steak and gave me the larger. Now you take the large one and leave me the smaller. You don't love me any more!" "Nonsense, darling," replied John, "you just cook better now."
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