my fight with the DRAGON

7:38:47 AM EDT
Hearing "I'll Fly Away"

Hello again! It has been a very long time since I have been here,what with various medical setbacks(((ie:limited mobility to bed & hospital)))and general=PAIN. I am going to get going on this again very soon as I badly miss the release of the writing and the companionship that I had the joy of experiencing here. I have just spent a couple of minutes cleaning up my site(neglect=messy)and am very tired,but I did want to at least put forth an effort to come back here to update(((sorry for the small effort)))and to get the old computer fingers in semi-motion again.

,and so do I!   - D

I'm not up to the why's right now,,,but any and all prayer would greatly be appreciated. thank you.

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5:34:33 AM EDT

Happy 1st Anniversary,J-Land!!!

    

Hello,were back from our "vacation" and i'm doing this from bed,so its probably not the best,but i was already a day late and rather than be a dollar short(hehehe) i decided to at least proudly wave my flags today and get at "the-vacation-story"tomorrow,,,hopefully i will be able to be up and do a proper job of it!!!

the South Carolina flag is where i am living now and is my home,,,but the California flag is where i'm born-n-bred! so being a good cali girl i had to fly those colors as well!all i will probably do today is surf some and se what flags(((ie:finding waldo)))that i spot and,Lord willing,saturday i will be into the start of "the details" on our trip....let me leave with one word regarding it===Heavenly+

have a wonderful day,God bless -D

 

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7:32:01 AM EDT
Feeling Anxious
Hearing That darn Go-Go's song again!!! VACATION

                    

                                            good morning! geee,betcha cant tell where my mind is today??? i wish we were going in one of these...but we will(((sigh))) be in one of these,instead....i tried to find a chicken w/ its head cut off to illistrate how i am dealing with all of the preperations...but;;;this will have to do-----and of course,this;;;----now dont get me wrong,there is also PLENTY of    this too---....i do so hope and pray that we have a safe/relaxing trip(((tims 1st paid vacation in 10yrs!)))and that it will give us a much needed chance to get closer,,,the sicker i have gotten,it seems that at times,the farther we go away from each other....and i dont like that a bit===its awful,actually...anyhow,i will keep on praying heavily for that...

GUILT,you say,,,nahhhh,the girls are probably going to have a blast while we are gone.....JUST NOT TOO MUCH FUN,GIRLS!!! i tried to do an entry yesterday and was having problems with my server that i use for the graphics & pictures(((ARGHHHH)))seems to be straightened out now(shouldnt of said that)and working fine...well,here are some of my thoughts on the next 10 DAYS!!! in a pictorial form===lets see if you can really figure out where my head is at today!          

           

            

                

alright,it's almost 7:00 and i have a bajillion things left to do before we leave tonight.....have a wonderful day,,,,i pray to be back here in 9 1/2 days,,,,and as always,remember that God does love you,,,me tooo! D

p.s. lets hope that we dont see any of these,,,or have contact with them or their occupants!!!

       hehehe! 

bye and God bless for now!        

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9:09:44 AM EDT
Feeling Anxious
Hearing "Prince of Egypt" soundtrack

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7:44:47 AM EDT
Feeling Sad
Hearing "Top Christian Love Songs" new cd

This is how i view my life!!!Today something is really bothering me(to use the girl's term-)"wicked-bad...Tim is known to us all as "Mr. Fixx-it" and there is really nothing that he cannot do---when it comes to anything mechanical,or around the house===gotta problem with a car/truck/lawnmower/power tools/plumbing/electrical/house stuff??? He's there!!!

Now to my "bothering thing",(and his)the one thing that he cant fix, is this disease of mine! i never truely realized just how bad it bothered him and how very much it hurt him till he told me the other day(((go figure-could men really believe that we are mind readers???)))that of all the things that he CAN do,the one thing that he really CANT is the worst thing in the world to him!!! i know that he tries real hard to be there for me and to help out all he can(even to help make dinner when he gets done working(very hard) 14hours!) but the thing that has been bothering me has also been bothering/hurting him for a year now...the worse i get,the more it does to him(&me).

COMMUNICATION===i bet that we are the only married couple in the universe that has this "little" problem,right???none-the-less,he is who i have chosen to spend the rest of my life with,and he has chosen the same in me...that very though makes me lighter,somehow,not painwise-just heartwise! while we have gone through more things in 2 1/2yrs. than i ever imagined possible(not all good)we also do have a true love for one another and the fact that God is first in our lives,makes all the difference in how we are able to handle things.....one thing that i have learned in this marriage, is that YOU REALLY DO GET OUT OF IT WHAT YOU PUT INTO IT!!!my grammy is so very wise!

okay,is this cool or what???(heres the ole' dog part) i got this blog-blinkie from a very talented "little-girl"i say that because she is the same age as my oldest daughter(((sigh)))by the name of brittany,and let me tell you,the things that she can do with these little blinkies is amazing...those of us(like me) who have no talent in this area really can appreciate this!i am very thankful to you,Brittany for this dragon and am glad to have been able to see the things that you do make....here are a few more of her designs and her site to visit.....http://journals.aol.com/princesspink064/BrittanysAttic

(sorry,this ole' dog still hasnt learned to make the fancy little links that you guys are doing)        arent these just adorable!!!Brittany does have some sage advice on simple copy-n-paste(ie.bandwidth stealing)that is a very good thing to read,,,here is a site that i dug up that has valueable information on this "crime" that most dont even realize that they are commiting===http://www.phenomenalwomen.com/donteventhinkaboutit/   a really good site that i STRONGLY RECOMMEND for everyone to take a gander at.....

this is an excellent scripture==="Let love be without dissimulation.Abhor that which is evil;cleave to that which is good.Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love;in honour preffering one another."   Romans 12:9-10  authorized KJV.....              

Well,back to bed for me and please have a wonderful,blessed day!!!

Remember,   ,me too!!!!!

  

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8:56:12 PM EDT
Feeling Anxious
Hearing "Pacific Shores" instrumental

   

Hello and happy 1st anniversary to AOL J-Land!wow,what a fun-filled,exciting bunch of events that are going on(and will be for a few weeks!)to celebrate this occasion!

Here isthe official torch for this...and now its been passed onto Conway,SC !!!i had no idea when i started my journal just what would come out of it...i knew that i was having a hard time coping with things going on(((Hep.C-my family-problems at church-life)))and i thought that writing down what was going on with me would help to sort things out===but i never imagined that i would actually be so blessed to reap the benefits of new friends, caring people,and many more blessings...how lucky i am!

and I do !!!  this brings me to the other issue that i had on my mind.."The Word of God" 2 scriptures that i am thinking of in particular are:::

"I am not ashamed of the gospel,because it is the power of God for the salvation of everone who believes." Romans 1:16  NIV

"Blessed is the one who reads the words of this prophecy,and blessed are those who HEAR it and TAKE TO HEART what is written in it,because the time is near."  Revelation  1:3  NIV       

Now, I know that there are many passages that i could write down,i guess that its because  this is whats on my mind:::there are so many people that are not about spreading the word/that get quiet when the topic of religion rolls around--this i do not understand! i stand up and am so very proud that i  know such an awesome God=sometimes its hard to contain myself...having been brought up in the church,this has been my "norm" and i am really grateful for that..there are those who dont feel comfortable in the "spreading of the word"and thats okay for them,but sometimes i just need to let it rip!!! i was feeling very anxious about a number of things,for some reason i came upon these 2 scriptures and they gave me such peace,that i was able to step back and just give my worries that i had to the Lord===how wonderful for me! i am truely at ease about what was bothering me now...that i can,at any time,drop to my knees to worship and visit with the Lord is true freedom to me,and i am ever thankful for that.like that old comercial said-"oh,what a feeling!"

PRIORITIES,for me are very simple:::

       these 3,in this order are what defines my life! sure there are times when i want to jump on a plane far-away bound,but i also know that when it comes down to it---i wouldnt trade what i have for anything! (now,i'll do just fine by not only remembering this when its not-so-good,but by sticking to it always,as i should and try very hard to do.)

Well,its waaay past time for me to go to bed and katie is,once again,chomping at the bit to get on the computer,so i'll be a good mommy---besides that i am totally worn out---and let her have at it.as always,have a wonderful blessed night,,,and dont ever forget,no matter what,that He loves you==me too!  luv-n-hugs,D

       

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8:28:09 PM EDT
Feeling Happy
Hearing "Vacation"---The Go-Go's

Awesome or what???here's my special double-whammy! not only do i get to play with all these cute/great new blinkies here(lots,today!) but, i also made a wonderful new friend!Jo's blinkies are where they are from===check out her site on my fav.sites on the right=(NO bandwidth-stealing or even "borrowing" jo has instructions for the responsible use of her blinkies!) thank you Joanna,for both the blinkies & new beginings! you see we both have something in common(((shhh)))were both girls! hehehehe==so thankyou jo,for both of these!and the fun i'll be having......I havent written for a while again,,,sorry to my sweet/grumpy hecklers! but once more i have been mostly bound to bed.a total bummer,but a necessary evil,in the scheme of things.The Lord is so good to me,in that i am blessed by waking up every morning,but the past 1 1/2wks. have been more than a bit of a struggle and im not even going to whine about ittheres no reason/rhyme to it!i know that i will be here as long as He allows me to(and then off into the wonderful great beyond),and right now,i am so very thankful for each and every day!its been pretty much same -ole-same -ole,only much worse of it all,so im not going to bother with particulars,but whats mostly bothering me lately is the PAIN...it stinks!nuff said..

And before i go on about the VACATION,,,something important to me---very important=Happy Belated 4th of July!!!and a very special thank-you to all of our troops      

On to the VACATION!!!I havent seen my grammy in over 4yrs! and so(against docs advice)on the 16th of July, Tim & I (((no kids))) are going to Rockford,IL to see her! momma & daddy are also going to be there,its been a year since i've seen them===im so excited,but also have some reservations about the whole trip thing...its hard enough going day by day sometimes,but the thought of going over 1000miles each way is a bit overwhelming...I know that tim will take very good care of me and not let me overdo it too much,but still...anyway,the thought of seeing them all wins out over trepidations===i also have a dear cousin there,Nannyboo=and my auntie Joanne= so im getting really excited....deep-dark-secret of the day-----i'm not sure what has me more excited...1.seeing them all   2.being alone with tim for a week   3.WHITE CASTLE(im a vegetarian,but the one concession that i will ever make are those cute,tiny,yummy little burgers) okay,#3 wins out....but everything else is also wonderiffic!  so,thats it for that,i really am lookinf forward to it all,,,and know that with the Lords help & guidance all will be well. I need to lay down for a while,so please have a wonderfully,blessed night.,,luv-n-hugs,,,D  Please,remember this,also...           

      

p.s.===a very special thank-you to Joanna,again for my "blinkie-fun"

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2:32:41 PM EDT
Feeling Surprised
Hearing The sounds in my head(part3)

Hello and happy monday! well,i guess you can teach an old dog new tricks!!! it took my little "college-smarty" to teach me how to actually put pics here that wont disappear into the land-of-red-boxes! so,what a happy girl i am===dont have a lot today,except a very special inspirational poem that really touches me===oh yeah...the pic above is of Tim & me...it is actually one of my favorite pics and every time i look at it, i fall in love with him all over again(((sigh)))===have a wonderfully blessed day,,,much love- D

My trials came and crushed me down
So low, I didn't have the strength to stand.
I felt life's meaning all was gone;
That shattered were my dreams, and all I'd planned.
Through endless days and nights I tried
To understand why God allowed such pain.
I felt defeated and alone,
And that I never would be whole again.
But in a still, small voice God spoke,
As I fell on my knees and sobbed a prayer.
I felt His loving arms enfold,
And lift me from the depths of my despair.
I never knew in those dark days
The things that God was planning for my life,
Or just how close to Him I'd grow,
While groping through my heartache, tears and strife.
Or that God soon would send my way
Some others who were hurting just like I;
And I could share their agony,
And help them understand the reason why.
Oh Lord, I thank you for the way
You've worked all things together for my best.
If I had known no suffering,
Then others' lives through me could not be blessed.

this poem is atributed to:Betty Jo Mings,,,it was sent to me and it so touches my heart that i had to share it...so,Ms. Mings thank you very much for sharing it with who sent it to me!

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9:47:29 AM EDT
Feeling Quiet
Hearing Creflo Dollar=his preaching IS music to my ears!

Good Morning!!! F.R.O.G.===Fully Rely On GOD ---what a saying! i know that i say it a lot. yet do i totally live it? nope...should i? yep! will i be giving it my all? yeppers! i have been in such a funk lately,ive stopped/put on hold, doing a whole lot of things that i should be doing... and i cant figure out why i've been feeling the way i do---DUH! one lesson that i have certainly learned the last few weeks is that i dont need to say "it cant get any worse"...because it seems that as soon as i say/think it--- BHAM,THERE IT GOES...I know that this is satan,throwing everything he's got at me,,,and it is a choice to NOT let him get his way!i have been spending a lot of time in contemplation,now its time to act!!! by me not acting how i should,i have been(not-on-pupose-but-none-the-less-still)doing exactly what he wants...to me,this is unacceptable! he may have the power we LET him wield,,,but the power of the Lord is and always will be stronger and o-so-loving...something that is more valueable to me than anything else...i still am having a time of it(the fall saturday)with trying to do things with only one hand===my left one at that===but hopefully it will heal and i will be back to normal(whats that???)soon...momma said that its sick how i have been embracing the pain of this recent injury,,, but what she cant ever understand is that to focus on a bad pain that has nothing to do with my Hep.C is a welcome respite...i dont think my pain-level has gone down,i know it hasnt,in fact. i just am so sick-n-tired of it seemingly controlling my life that i actually do welcome a diversion... not that im in any hurry to take a fall like that again!!!(((OUCH)))   ...Amanda has been here all week and we have been so glad to have her here,she has to go back tomorrow to work,and i will miss her till she can come back,she is so(most-of-the-time)loving and affectionate that its been a great mom-booster this week...the girls have  gone swimming in the river a few times,and they have been playing hide-n-go-seek(((this has been hilarious,since they are all teenagers)))while ive been laying down and they try to get me to tell them where the hidees are;;;i have laughed quite a bit,to say the least...well,my left fingers are worn out from trying to do this,,,so-until next time===God loves you and so do I ---love-n-hugs,,,D

"Failure is not defeat unless you stop trying"

"when all else fails---go outside and howl at the moon" (really!!! i betcha never saw a stressed-out wolf)

And until we do,,,prayer is a most welcome ACTION for us all !!!

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11:36:28 AM EDT
Feeling Frustrated
Hearing Montgomery Gentry  

Good morning...this is going to be short today...not because i dont have a plethora of gunk on my mind...but because i am still in a lot of pain over falling up(((yeah,yeah,up!)))the stairs on sat. and i am having to do this with 1 hand!!!and my left one at that...things are not that much different from last week,but whats going on with tim and i seems to escalate daily,if anything :(=== and i have been spending a lot of "quiet-time" in prayer...i know that what i cannot do alone,with His help.i can accomplish=the pain level on my "liver-site"is also escalating,,,not sure if it got exerbated by the fall or what? im sure Doc will have plenty to say about that!!!well,thats about it for now,,,i really want to see if this picture is going to stay up w/o me messing with it===i have gotten some wonderful help from a bunch of people about this,,,and hopefully it will take...Have a great day and, as always.....God loves you and so do I !---D

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