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Thursday, April 21, 2005
9:22:00 AM CDT
I want to thank everybody for kind and supportive comments everybody has left about the girlchild's latest illness. Your kindess, thoughts and prayers mean more than I can say. This is one of those times that I'm definitely living on faith. Our family has gone through a fair share of health problems together, and that does something to your attitude. On the outside, you act like everything is normal, because in some wierd way, it is.
That doesn't stop the internal concern and worry. It does change the way you react. If C.'s leg goes numb, and she stumbles, I help her up, brush her off, and we continue walking. There's not a lot of expressed sympathy. I'll recommend that she wear flats rather than the platforms my petite girlchild favors. When she declines, I just tell her to be careful. At night, when the numbness has shifted to pain, she can curl up in my lap and cry. Then she can have all the sympathy she wants, but we both know that life will continue with or without the pain and inconvenience.
When health isn't something that you can just take for granted, you have choices to make. When C. was first making her first real steps into eating disorder recovery, we adapted life to illness by eating out a lot. It cost a lot more than I really needed to spend at the time, but it provided her with a safe time after meals to handle the destructive purging urge, and I thought it was worth it. When the nerve damage in her leg first became an issue, she gave up cross country track but continued with cheerleading. When she realized that the emotional climate of cheerleading was destructive, she chose to give that up. She made these choices not to pamper an illness but to have a rewarding life.
That's one of the things that I try hard to teach her. We all have our share of hardships, and we can spend our time in pity or we can deal with them. Until her appointments and test results come through next week, I won't have any way of knowing what we're dealing with. I can let that drive me crazy wondering about the worst possible scenario or I can help her when she stumbles and hold her when she hurts at night. My concern is still here, but at least, for this minute, I've given it to God/dess to handle.
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9:22:00 AM CDT
Thanks
That doesn't stop the internal concern and worry. It does change the way you react. If C.'s leg goes numb, and she stumbles, I help her up, brush her off, and we continue walking. There's not a lot of expressed sympathy. I'll recommend that she wear flats rather than the platforms my petite girlchild favors. When she declines, I just tell her to be careful. At night, when the numbness has shifted to pain, she can curl up in my lap and cry. Then she can have all the sympathy she wants, but we both know that life will continue with or without the pain and inconvenience.
When health isn't something that you can just take for granted, you have choices to make. When C. was first making her first real steps into eating disorder recovery, we adapted life to illness by eating out a lot. It cost a lot more than I really needed to spend at the time, but it provided her with a safe time after meals to handle the destructive purging urge, and I thought it was worth it. When the nerve damage in her leg first became an issue, she gave up cross country track but continued with cheerleading. When she realized that the emotional climate of cheerleading was destructive, she chose to give that up. She made these choices not to pamper an illness but to have a rewarding life.
That's one of the things that I try hard to teach her. We all have our share of hardships, and we can spend our time in pity or we can deal with them. Until her appointments and test results come through next week, I won't have any way of knowing what we're dealing with. I can let that drive me crazy wondering about the worst possible scenario or I can help her when she stumbles and hold her when she hurts at night. My concern is still here, but at least, for this minute, I've given it to God/dess to handle.
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This entry has 9 comments: (Add your own)
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I'm just playing catch up and learning about C's health issue. I admire that you are able to take it in stride. She needs to see your strength. I know you have to be very concerned on the inside. We have been fortunate enough to avoid major health problems. It's easy to take for granted. I will be thinking of you all...and I hope that this is something that they can easily treat.
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It sounds like you and the girl child are doing the best you can with the cards you've got. You just don't have all the cards yet. Good luck.
Jackie -
The chances are really excellent that this is small potatoes; but I'm sorry you have to wait so long to find out. I'm thinking of you all.
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Our prayers are with you and your daughter. Hugs are good medicine!
http://journals.aol.com/gardenmantis/MidnightDiaries/
4/23/05 12:08 PM
Vicky