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Saturday, April 30, 2005
1:00:00 AM CDT
I don't know who was more nervous, the girlchild or me. We picked the young man up after school, and I'll just say that C. has decent taste. He's over 6" tall (in the eighth grade!) with shaggy, curly blonde hair and green eyes and that baggy pants, rock band t-shirt, skater style. Definitely not a graduate of Emily Post's etiquette school, but polite to me, and nice to her. That last part is what really counts...and they laughed together.
I got a little tickled when he told the girlchild that his grandmother, with whom he lives, was concerned about her being a negative influence on him, when he's seen as a rebel, and my "perfect" child is one of the principal's pets. (Though C. is far from perfect, the principal is very fond of her.) This is one of the joys of living in a small town.
It seems that everyone, even strangers know the problems you've had and have made up their minds about you. I don't mind so much because I'm essentially a private person with a close circle of friends who know better. It bothers me for the daughter though, because it's isolated her in many ways. Some of the girls who used to be her friends aren't allowed to be with her anymore. I have to admit that it hurts somewhat that a lot of these are "the good Christian girls." All we can do though is keep the focus on our own thoughts and actions and do what we should do to live up to our standards. Since she's in her religious searching phase, I won't say our beliefs, but I can still teach the standards of my beliefs and model that behavior the best I know how.
Others of her old friends just aren't as comfortable, and the friendships have suffered. With those, I advise patience and sympathy. People often don't know how to react when someone's had a hard time. New friendships have been formed. They're not the girls I knew when they were little. They didn't go through the slumber party and roller skating party stage together. I hope I'll get the chance to come to know her newer friends. I don't want to hang out with my daughter and her friends, but I do want them to have a comfort zone when it comes to me. I remember loving being able to be myself around some of my friends' parents.
The post-date anxiety stage has set in, and she's wondering if he "likes her" likes her. This is definitely a new phase for her and for me. It's going to be interesting to see how it plays out, and I have the feeling it's a good thing I've started dyeing my hair.
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1:00:00 AM CDT
The Date
I got a little tickled when he told the girlchild that his grandmother, with whom he lives, was concerned about her being a negative influence on him, when he's seen as a rebel, and my "perfect" child is one of the principal's pets. (Though C. is far from perfect, the principal is very fond of her.) This is one of the joys of living in a small town.
It seems that everyone, even strangers know the problems you've had and have made up their minds about you. I don't mind so much because I'm essentially a private person with a close circle of friends who know better. It bothers me for the daughter though, because it's isolated her in many ways. Some of the girls who used to be her friends aren't allowed to be with her anymore. I have to admit that it hurts somewhat that a lot of these are "the good Christian girls." All we can do though is keep the focus on our own thoughts and actions and do what we should do to live up to our standards. Since she's in her religious searching phase, I won't say our beliefs, but I can still teach the standards of my beliefs and model that behavior the best I know how.
Others of her old friends just aren't as comfortable, and the friendships have suffered. With those, I advise patience and sympathy. People often don't know how to react when someone's had a hard time. New friendships have been formed. They're not the girls I knew when they were little. They didn't go through the slumber party and roller skating party stage together. I hope I'll get the chance to come to know her newer friends. I don't want to hang out with my daughter and her friends, but I do want them to have a comfort zone when it comes to me. I remember loving being able to be myself around some of my friends' parents.
The post-date anxiety stage has set in, and she's wondering if he "likes her" likes her. This is definitely a new phase for her and for me. It's going to be interesting to see how it plays out, and I have the feeling it's a good thing I've started dyeing my hair.
Written by sistercdr Blog about this entry |
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This entry has 7 comments: (Add your own)
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Boys are so much easier. I'm not looking forward to my daughter dating.
Jude -
I'm glad your daughter has such a wonderful, caring mom. Glad she had a good time. Hopefully her former "friends" will grow up......someday. :-)
Jackie
http://journals.aol.com/thesheatons/PixelsPoliticsPosiesand Pussycats -
Gosh- at first I couldnt figure out what kind of "troubles" there have been that friends would stay away. Now that I figured that out, I still dont get it. I am glad she had a nice date! I remember my sisters at this age (I didnt have dates til much later). What fun.
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It's sometimes strange how parents interfere with their kids' social lives. I can see objecting if your kid hangs around with a drug dealer or a pothead, but someone who has had the kinds of problems C has? It's one thing if the kids are hesitant to hang with her (which is obnoxious enough...what are their parents teaching these kids???...) but quite another if "good mommies" are steering their kids away from friendships with a girl who has "had a hard time," as you put it. How small-minded and un-Christian can you get? Kudos to "the date" for looking a little deeper... Lisa :-] http://journals.aol.com/lisar
am1955/Brainsurfing/
5/2/05 1:40 PM
P.S. - Love your J and will be back when I have more time!