JR's Random Anger

Okay, anyone that has talked to me this summer knows that I am rooting against the Phillies.  This is a very unnatural position for me to be in, because even in seasons when they lost like they were the Cubs, I still supported them.  Granted, I was not happy with them, but every time a Phillie had a chance to do something I supported him.  When Dutch won the RBI crown on a bad 1992 team, I was keeping up with that team.  When Krukker was chasing Tony Gwynn for the batting crown, I was keeping up with them.  And when Jim Thome arrived and strapped a bunch of underachievers on his back for a ride deep into September, I went along for the ride as well.

This year, I had had enough.

After three seasons of supporting these slackers, I cancelled my season tickets.  I bet against their success.  I wore the caps of their opponents and reveled in their losses.  And when Pat Gillick started a mini-fire sale in July, I even contemplated making an Iraqi War-style deck of cards to get rid of the players that were ruining this team.

Lo and behold, one month later, the Phillies are knocking on the door to the Wild Card and ending a 12-year playoff drought.  In Dixie Chick-style, I’m not quite ready to make nice with the team that has broken my heart 26 times.

So, I will give my long-awaited Top 5 Reasons to root against the Phillies (which had to be altered since Bobby Abreu was one of my reasons), with one caveat.  I will also give my Top 5 reasons to root FOR the Phillies.

Now just like the TV show on ESPN Classic, these are reasons you can’t blame ME for rooting against my hometown team:

5.  Red Sox Nation – I’ve been rooting for the Red Sox since I made a terrible mistake.  Call it youth or stupidity, but I rooted for the Mets in 1986.  (Yeah I know…but this is a whole other column!)  So, I felt bad for the team and began rooting for them.  Well, a funny thing happened.  They won!  2004 put an end to the curse and I actually got a chance to celebrate a championship from one of my teams.  I got a chance to watch more of their games and even got a chance to go to Fenway Park.  (Thanks again guys!)  I really enjoy baseball itself, and can identify more with Sox fans who go to the game to watch the game.  Whereas the Phillies fans seem to go to the game to get some Geno’s or a Build-a-Phanatic, in this over-glorified amusement park.  Speaking of which…

4.  Citizen’s Bank Park – Okay, it’s an absolutely gorgeous park.  The sight lines are flawless.  The seats are positioned perfectly.  The field is first rate.  The scoreboards are easy to watch.  It’s just too bad that no one notices these things as they are waiting in line for Peace-a-Pizza!  Or in the Air Conditioning at the High and Inside Pub (which has a great view of the Linc but not of their own damned field).  In short, it’s not a freaking ballpark.  It’s a mall with a baseball diamond in the middle!  Two more things, to create a park that is that unforgiving to pitchers is criminal.  You’ve taken away any home-field advantage you might have.  And to blame it on the changing of the wind patterns after the collapse of the Vet is an example of poor planning and shoddy production.  Secondly, it’s one thing to have a top notch ballpark, but to staff it with absolutely miserable bastards is totally inexcusable.  Even the guy in the air conditioned elevator on a 90-plus degree day is a total jerk.  I have not met ONE polite usher or staff member since the move from the Vet.  I tried to upgrade my seats for a game against the frickin’ Brewers and they gave me a guilt trip, like they forgot that I PAID FOR THE DAMN SEATS!  And when I wrote the Phillies about this I, of course, got no reply.  This attitude never happened while they played at the Vet. 

3.  Wheels – He Sucks.  I really don’t want to waste any of my energy typing about how bad an announcer he is.  So, I’ll just say this.  Harry Kalas, a member of the Baseball Hall of Fame, doesn’t like him and doesn’t hide it.  No one in the area likes the guy, from fans to beat writers to the WIP hosts.  I don’t think the following phrase has ever been uttered: “Phew, I tuned in just in time to hear Chris Wheeler.”  Now, I’m sure deep down inside he’s probably not a bad guy, but the entire area finds the guy annoying.  Why does he still have a job?  They hired Scott Palmer after he retired from WPVI to help with PR, and why hasn’t he figured out that no one likes Chris Wheeler?  Maybe I’m the one who’s wrong here.  Well, me and every other Phillies fan I have EVER talked to.  But Wheels has got to go!

2.  Chuckles – He sounds like he was plucked out of an episode of “The Andy Griffith Show”.  Every Jeff Foxworthy joke probably applies to him.  I don’t even think he speaks English during his press conferences.  Yet Charlie Manuel not only still has a job, but appears to be off of the hot seat, since they are back in the hunt for the postseason.  He’s probably the only manager in the majors who has cost his team no less than 30 games over the last two years and is no in any immediate danger of losing his job.  Without a doubt, he cost the Phillies a postseason berth last year.  They only finished ONE GAME OUT.  Personally, I don’t give a damn if the players like him or not.  I don’t want the manager of my team to be buddies with the players.  He needs to motivate them, not coddle them.  Please note that I am not ripping his ability as a hitting coach, a duty for which he is brilliant.  I criticize his in-game management, which is fairly important for the MANAGER OF THE FREAKING TEAM.  Plus, the Phillies had the opportunity to sign Jim Leyland, whom they passed over for Manuel.  Jim Leyland was hired this year as the manager for the perennial cellar-dwelling Tigers.  The Tigers now have the best record in Major League Baseball.  The Phillies have a guy who still doesn’t know howto use a double switch.  How’s that deal looking now?

1 The Wizard of Oz - No I don't mean Ozzie Smith.  You know how the mean and scary head of Oz was controlled by a feckless dweeb in the The Wizard of Oz?  Well that's the same image I get when I hear the words "Philadelphia Phillies Ownership Group."  Who are these people?  Where did they come from?  Well the Team President is Dave Montgomery and he is listed as the General Partner.  Below him are the Limited Partners: Claire S. Betz, Tri-Play Asscoiates, Double Play Inc., and Giles Limited Partnership.  Yeah, only two people actually put their names behind the team.  And that's kind of how this team is handled.  When something bad happens with the Eagels, you only see two faces: Andy Reid and Jeff Lurie.  They take the responsibility.  With the Phillies, you see the GM, the manager, Wheels, Montgomery, Bill Giles...anyone and everyone gets into the swing.  In fact things have been so bad with this ownership group that they hired Scott Palmer as a PR consultant.  For years, the Phillies fans have suffered because of the same stupid formula that has controlled this franchise since Harry Wright was the manager.  The team is backed by excessive wealth.  Not George Steinbrenner or Mark Cuban business wealth.  We're talking Main Line Old Money Wealth.  Wealth that will be present with or without success.  Guys like Cuban, Ed Snider, Pat Croce, Jeff Lurie, Bill Davidson...these are owners who built their own empires and would rather die than let THEIR teams fail.  Even though Pat Croce was the President of the 76ers, he left his imprint and there was not a soul in Philadelphia or America that mistook the Sixers as Comcast's team.  They were Croce's team.  The Soul are Jon Bon Jovi's team, even though he's the minority owner.  Being the owner of a team actually takes OWNERSHIP!  That is something that this organization simply lacks and will never have unless the Wizard of Oz is bought out.       

As promised, here are my Top 5 Reasons to root FOR the Phillies for the rest of the season.

5.  Pat Gillick - Pat Gillick openly stated at the beginning of the year that this Phillies team would not make a run at things this year.  He didn't think he had enough pieces in place to make a run at the postseason.  Well, if the National League wasn't so weak, he would be right on both accounts.  Even though he is not a good prognosticator, he is however, quietly putting together a very successful freshman campaign as GM.  He has done something that Ed Wade never had the intelligence to do.  He has lopped off almost all of Ed Wade's recent free agent signings and trades, and while he has dumped talent, he has gotten youth in return.  During Ed Wade's watch, he let Kevin Millwood, Eric Milton, and Billy Wagner (players which Ed Wade gave up 6 young players for) go without getting anything in compensation.  That adds up to 9 players effectively released for no other reason than sloth and stupidity.  Pat Gillick lost 4 major players (Thome, Lidle, Bell and Abreu) and got an armada of young players in exchange.  Plus, his moves are clearly more savvy.  Jamie Moyer is a local product, who supplies depth and also a wealth of knowledge to pass on to the young guns that are filtering into the Phillies rotation.  It appears Gillick has more of a plan to revive this moribund franchise than any of the powers that be around him (especially the ones listed on the other list).

4.  Youth is Served - Sure, this Phillies team has a whole lot of new pieces this year.  But it is also a very, very young nucleus.  Out of the current everyday players, five of the eight position players are under 30 years of age.  Out of the top six starters on the depth chart, half of them are under 30, including their rising ace, Brett Myers.  Here's the best part of the whole infusion of youth into this team.  Only two of the sub-30 stars (Rollins and Burrell) have large contracts.  All of the others, can be signed to long-term deals at favorable terms, or used as trade bait.  Here's another plus...there are others waiting in the wings.  This team is much more pliable than any other team the Phillies have trotted out there.

3.  Up the Middle - The heart of the Phillies defense is also the heart of the team.  I don't think there is anything else that I can add to the ballooning aura of their second sacker, except to say this: His on-field pressence is very reminiscent of a former Phillie, Pete Rose.  When it comes to Chase's fellow middle-infielder many people have a lukewarm opinion.  Not me.  Feel free to copy this, quote me and send it numerous time to Larry Bowa.  JIMMY ROLLINS IS THE BEST SHORTSTOP IN PHILLIES HISTORY!  The treatment of Jimmy from the fans is disappointing.  But the lack of respect from the local media, national media and his baseball peers is just disgusting.  Why people insist that he's a bad leadoff hitter is beyond me.  Could he take more pitches?  Sure.  Judas (Johnny Damon) doesn't take any pitches and no around the Evil Empire says he should be moved down in the rotation.  I view the success of a leadoff man in only one category: runs scored.  That's his job, right?  Set the table and get home.  Since Jimmy regained the leadoff spot in 2004, only one man has more runs in the National League: Albert Pujols.  Rollins leads all leadoff men over that period.  His Ground Ball/Fly Ball Ratio is over 1 (it's a sabermetric stat).  I think I know why people in the area still get on his back, but I'll jump on that later.  In short, Rollins and Utley are quite simply spectacular and you should need another reason to root for those two.

2. They're STILL Friggin' In It! - Pat Gillick forgot one small variable when at the beginning of the season, he declared his team wasn't good enough to compete.  He didn't realize that the National League wasn't good enough either.  Only 2 NL teams had a winning record against the AL.  There are only 5 NL teams with records over .500!  The Phillies are one of those 5 teams!  Every couple of years, in all of the major sports, there is one conference or league that for some reason or another, absolutely dominates the other.  From 1983-1998 the NFC did not lose a Super Bowl.  2001 saw the Western conference obliterate the East in head to head matchups (Note: the East won the All-Star game).  It happens all of the time.  This is one of those times.  The Mets are the only standouts in the League clearing their next closest competitor for the best record by a whopping .083 percentage points.  What this does is this.  The playing field is basically level, well, because there isn't really anywhere else to go.  The NL is the baseball version of Survivor.  The Phillies can score runs and have more than a legitimate chance to win the Wild Card.  Plus they have one more thing...

1.  RYAN HOWARD - I feel a little awkward saying this since I grew up watching Mike Schmidt.  If Schmitty played in today's game he would have easily cleared 600 home runs.  But he didn't have the weak pitching that stinks up the game.  He didn't get to take advantage of the more tightly wound balls.  And instead of playing games at Coors Field, he had to go to the Astrodome with its 400-plus foot power alleys.  Given that knowledge, I STILL THINK RYAN HOWARD IS THE GREATEST POWER I HAVE EVER SEEN.  If he continues at his current pace, he will be the NL MVP.  He could hit 60 home runs.  He broke the Phillies single season home run record in AUGUST!  Is there any ONE player that has had a greater impact on his team than Ryan Howard?  That's why he is your NL MVP.  But, for all of his potential greatness, there is not the type of buzz about him, that you would expect from a guy who has started his career hitting a home run every third game.  Philadelphia for all of its charm is a very rascist city.  Allen Iverson is easily one of the greatest basketball players in the history of the sport, yet the typical Philly fan will not accept that and come up with all sorts of excuses to discredit it.  Dick Allen, one of the best players of his generation, was essentially run out of Philly because of the city's intolerance to their best baseball player being an African-American.  Donovan McNabb is not put on the same plane as the other great quarterbacks in the NFL today.  Philly fans insist he needs to run more and use his athleticism.  Like he is incapable of using his mind.  Ryan Howard is getting a more benign dosage of the same treatment.  People credit his great power to his success, even though he is smart enough to take outside pitches to the opposite field (something that Pat Burrell still hasn't figured out).  He purposefully uses the heaviest bat in the majors, so he doesn't swing as quickly, therefore hitting more balls.  It is true that he is blessed with unfathomable talent and natural ability.  But he is also a finely crafted hitter.  If you are looking for a reason to get behind this Phillies team, please take a look at Ryan Howard.  He deserves every superlative being thrown his way.          

|  Add to del.icio.us |  digg this