JR's Random Anger

I wanted to make sure I got these finished before noon today, so I've put my football notes on hold.  I'll post them with the picks tonight, so you'll have something to read tomorrow when you're checking how wrong my picks will be.  Thanks

Titans @ Colts (-18.5):  I think it's now time to start keeping an eye on two quests for complete ineptitude.  Now, an 18.5 point line is a bit ridiculous.  I don't recall seeing a line that big before that didn't involve Temple (further notes below).  However, it's pretty obvious where that line came from.  The Titans have averaged 11.75 points per game, while they have given up 30.25.  Yes, math fans, that equals out to an 18.5 average margin of defeat.  And considering that they are playing the team that has scored the most points in the NFL on the road, you can kinda sorta tell which direction my pick will head.  PICK: Colts.

Redskins @ Giants (-5): The Giants are heading for an implosion.  The proverbial handwriting is already on the wall.  But every time I think the Giants are done, they make a surge.  It's like the infamous Jim Fassel "chips-on-the-table" moment.  They're like crab grass pulled not by the root but by the other thing.  However, I think the Skins have hit a groove.  Yeah, it's quite possible they hit the Jags on their absolute worst possible day, but I think the game in Houston gave them the opportunity to practice on some weak opposition.  PICK: Redskins.

Lions @ Vikings (-6.5): I don't think either team is very good here.  The Vikings are only a couple of goof-ups away from being winless, just like the Lions.  So, I really don't think the 6.5 point line is justified.  Either way, I'll be happy not to watch this crap-fest of a game.  PICK: Lions.

Buccaneers @ Saints (-6.5): Hmmm...Okay, we have a team coming off of an emotional loss, set-up perfectly for a letdown game.  We also have a rookie quarterback (from Toledo, home of the Glass Bowl) playing on the road in a very, very intimidating place right now.  I just don't see how the Saints can possibly lose this game at home against a team that is going downhill quicker than Guns 'n' Roses after the Spaghetti Incident.  PICK: Saints.

Rams @ Packers (+3): Some call me Nostradamus.  Some call me Nostra-dumb-ass!  But at least I'm right about one thing: Brett Favre.  As proved on Monday night, he is mortgaging his team's future.  Regardless, they are a bad team and basically have no prospects of improvement with Favre getting older by the hour.  And, believe it or not, but the Rams actually looked like the Rams last week.  PICK: Rams.

Dolphins @ Patriots (-10): Okay, the Pats proved me wrong for the first time this year.  Obviously, they are not dead men walking, even though the Bengals did everything to help their cause.  But how far can a team fall?  The Dolphins were trendy Super Bowl picks no less than one month ago.  Now, they are the only team thus far to lose to the team that passed up on drafting Reggie Bush.  Seriuosly, how bad can it get?  Oh wait, I know.  Jo-ey!  Jo-ey!  Jo-ey!  PICK: Patriots.

Bills @ Bears (-10):  Chad is a Bears' fan.  He said, "You know, Rex Grossman, is...err...umm...a pretty good...uhh...<gulp>...quarterback."  Well, now I'm sold.  With that vote of confidence I have no choice but to pick the Bears.  But to be honest, this defense once carried Jim Miller to the playoffs.  PICK: Bears.

Browns @ Panthers (-8): Making an 18-point second-half comeback is impressive.  Doing it against the Raiders is less impressive.  Falling behind 21-3 to the Raiders?  AHHHHH!  What in the hell?  And I should thank the Panthers for saving my pick last week, by giving away an end of game touchdown to the Saints which helped them cover.  PICK: Panthers.

Jets @ Jaguars (-6.5): Either the Jets are better than I though, the Colts are worse than I thought, or it's a combination of both.  Either way, it doesn't excuse the Jags for giving it up to the Redskins like a halfway house hooker.  I can't believe that is the same group that completely shut down the Steelers.  I mean, I know a team can suffer injuries but 36 points?  C'mon. PICK: Jets.

Chiefs @ Cardinals (+3.5): And the Matt Leinert era begins.  Other than that I have nothing else to say about this game.  PICK: Chiefs.

Raiders @ 49ers (-3): All we need now are half-naked sorrority girls and John Belushi and we've got it.  It's The Pillow Fight of the Week!  After a complete and total gag job last week, Chasing Futility is into it's fourth week.  Another quote from Chad regarding the prospects for an 0-16 season: "And it couldn't happen to a nicer guy than Al Davis."  (Yes, I know...two Chad quotes in the same cloumn.  It's been a very slow week.)  PICK: 49ers.

Cowboys @ Eagles (-2): I just can't do this now.  I must save it for last.

Steelers @ Chargers (-3): Okay, you know those early-season, must-win games.  This is one of them.  The Chargers should win this game, but at some point "Marty-ball" needs to be scrapped and Phillip Rivers needs to take charge and spread the field.  They just can't keep it close to the vest and expect to win every game, by heaping it on the defense.  Speaking of the defense, I think that the game will be decided by the Chargers defense.  If they show up and hold a lead for the entire game, it will go the way of the Bolts.  But this isn't a slam dunk.  PICK: Chargers.

Ravens @ Broncos (-4): Yes, the Ravens Defense is back.  Yes, Ray Lewis is currently the most influential defender in the game.  But, here's one stat that tells you the direction of my pick.  The Broncos defense has given up exactly 1 (one) touchdown.  So, here's the question.  Do you trust Steve McNair to take that Ravens offense and beat the Broncos in Denver by at least two field goals?  PICK: Broncos.

Okay, for real now...Cowboys @ Eagles (-2): There is no team in football that I loathe more than the Cowboys.  I can't stand Texas, their owner, their stadium, their players, their uniforms, their cheerleaders...well...uhhh....yeah even the cheerleaders!  This is the city that killed JFK!  Just like the Boston Celtics, New York Yankees, New Jersey Devils and Villanova University, I will never like this team.  Yet there are many factors that are causing me to pick the Cowboys over the Eagles.  First, Philly fans are obsessed with T.O. to the point that they would actually create enough negative energy to thwart the Eagles.  Secondly, the Eagles have not played anyone even close to the quality of the Cowboys yet.  Thirdly, and most importantly, the number is zero.  That is the amount of sacks that the Eagles accumulated against the tremendous suck factory that is Green Bay.  The only hope for the Eagles is that they were actually keeping things close to the vest in order to hide things from Dallas.  Otherwise, it will be a long afternoon in South Philly.  PICK: C...I can't even type it.

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• #1 Comment from bluehealey 
  10/8/06 9:09 AM | Permalink

  I really enjoy reading your picks every week JR.  Your prognastication is impeccible, yes I know I can't spell to well either.  What I enjoy more than your picks, is your reasoning behind the picks.  You have talent, and flare, with all that being said, are you nuts...!!!! If I were a betting man, which you know I'm not, I would be a rich man by picking against you.  Okay how about a buket of Jerry's chicken to the winner... oh wait a minute, someone already won that bet... ;-).  How in the heck can you pick against the birds???  Remember what I told you about emotion?  Look at Atlanta when they played the Saints.  I know that T.O. isn't the same as Katrina... Katrina destroyed a whole city, T.O only destroyed a team... well, wait a minute, let me think that one through...  Katrina united a city against adversity. T.O. didn't do that..uhmmm let me think that through too.   Press about Katrina won't go away...hmmmmm neither will T.O., maybe they are similar..But, I degress..  Come back from the dark side, the Eagles will prevail.   E A G L E S 24.. DABOYS...21 look for Ackers to win this one.
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