Slapinions

In this great city of mine you have to pay for the privilege of parking on the street in front of your own house, high property taxes be damned. I'm sure it's worse elsewhere - most things seem to be - but I think it's a crock.

Anyway, neither here nor there.

Since we picked up the Freestar our old van has been parked in one of the two spots behind my house, waiting for a friend of ours to get off her behind and get together the money to buy it from us (no pressure, no pressure). This leaves us with the task of temporarily rotating one of our two working vehicles to the street each night.

I have so far refused, on philisophical grounds, to reward the city's policy by spending $12 for a permit. In return the city has slapped me with a single parking ticket for $15. Eh, close enough to count as a draw.

But I didn't feel like another ticket last night so I went online to apply for night parking permission . I entered the address where it was parked and the plate number and was rewarded with a message that said (closely paraphrased)

Night parking permission refused. Permission is restricted to three (3) nights in a thirty day period.

If you have reached the three night limit but still require night parking permission, please call  555-5555 for assistance.

Fair enough. I called the number and gave the same information I'd typed in online.

"Oh, I'm sorry sir. You've reached the three night maximum."

"Yes, I know. That's why I called."

"I see. Well, there's nothing I can do for you."

"Excuse me?"

"You've reached the limit. I can't do anything for you."

"Then why bother with this number?"

"You've received permission three times in thirty days sir. That is the limit."

"Yeah, but I know I haven't called in for permission in July. At worst I'm a few days away from the 30 day mark."

"26 days actually. It's been 26 days since you last received permission."

What a p**k.

"Ok, so I'm four days away. Can you please waive the limit tonight?"

"Hmm. Yeah, no sir. The rules are firm."

I was nearly laughing. "Why have your website direct people to call you at all if you there's no chance of getting permission? Is it just for giggles? I mean I don't care, it's not going to break my wallet, but doesn't that strike you as a little bit strange?"

"The law is the law sir."

I felt like yelling "My taxes pay your salary!", but then again his taxes pay his salary too (which is kind of lousy, no?), so f* it.

I doubt I'll continue my one man stand much longer. The last time I did that, by refusing to pay a ticket issued at the airport (for parking in an employee lot while I was an employee with the proper ID in the window) my $20 ticket went up to triple digits and my plates were suspended. If nothing else my wife will demand I get the permit.

But I'm hoping our friend will take the van off our hands and solve the problem before it comes to that.

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• #11 Comment from perturbedcow 
  7/20/08 6:40 PM | Permalink

  You need to complain to the rules adjustment and bypass committee. They will also refuse you permission for any variance but they allow you to present your case in person and the person listening will pretend to be concerned - and he should, he makes more of your (and his) tax dollars than the person you already spoke to.
  
  http://journals.aol.com/perturbedcow/the-sports-game-/
  Charlie
• #10 Comment from buckoclown 
  7/20/08 11:02 AM | Permalink

  I know the feeling, I tried to renew my plates on-line yesterday, and after three tries of getting to the submit point, it came up with an error.  I wrote a check and put it in snail mail :o)
• #9 Comment from alphawoman1 
  7/20/08 10:17 AM | Permalink

  ps..the counter still works, but unable to have it on the journal page.
• #8 Comment from alphawoman1 
  7/20/08 10:17 AM | Permalink

  When I noticed yesterday that the counter was gone I tried to put it back and it would not take, so I then"read the instructions" (above the "about me" edit screen there is a link) and found this
  
  http://peopleconnection.aol.com/blogs/whitelist
  
  OMG, believe it or not, the WHITElist.
• #7 Comment from gryphondear 
  7/20/08 10:05 AM | Permalink

  I'm most certainly not going to mention your [expletive deleted] parking permits to the city fathers here in Peerless Princess of the Plains. They will want to enlarge on the notion. We already have an ordinance to disallow parking on the front lawn, which also limits the amount of paving/gravel for parking on the front lawn to 1/4 the size of the lawn. Personally, if people want to park their motorhome in the drive and their cars along the curb, I don't mind. It's those low-rise mower transport trailers--with minimal reflectors--that take up a lane and a half and the allowed 18 inches from the curb that are dangerous in the dawnlight.
  ;^) Jan the Gryphon