I Believe

Subject: A NEW AWAKENING TO LOVE
Time: 1:54:49 PM EDT
Author:  slimhawk
Mood:  Grateful

 

1 John 4:8  He that loveth not, knoweth not God; for God is Love.

 

 

What a beautiful scripture, God is love.  I woke up this morning and felt such peace and love from my heavenly father. It's a beautiful day, a wonderful day that the Lord has made.

I went outside and started taking in the day and all it's splendor.  A tiny little flower has opened it's sweet face and shows it's beauty and color, God is BIG.  As I looked around, I saw a butterfly and gosh was it beautiful.  The sweet little flowers on my tree with their delicate tiny petals, dancing in the sun light. Cotton candy clouds, set up in the sky so blue and so happy, God is HUGE, God is LOVE.

I walked over to my garden hose and turned on the water to give my flowers a drink, walked around the yard and pulled up weeds.  That's when it hit me, when I am still, when I am quiet and just taking in the awesome love of my Father, I see it everywhere.  I thought about how sometimes we get so busy, we only see weeds in our life and not the beauty.  I thought about all the incredible ways God speaks to us and shows his love to us every single day.

The faithful readers of my journal know that I come from a very broken background.  They know the black hole I once found myself in and how utterly hopeless it all felt. I never even believed in being happy back then, just hoping to make it through life and raise my children.  Today, I am a new creation in HIM, because of his love and faithfulness to me.

 

 

The world is hurting. The violence and cruelty of people knows no bounds.  I use to feel hopeless because of it but now, because of my heavenly father and the things he teaches me about love, I see past the outer appearances of people and into their hearts that are so hopelessly broken. I am humbled by that because I know it's the work my father has done in me, because I trust him.

Healing is a journey that few can define.  How it happens, the steps we go through ...  they seem to be impossible for me to put into words other than, God is HUGE.  Taking my eyes off of myself and seeing others around me suffering, that's God's perfect love.  Loving the Lord so much that I allow him to control my thoughts, my hopes and dreams and actions, that's healing.

People want to be loved, it's how God created us.  The scripture says that Love is the greatest gift from God.

Corinthians 13: 12-13 For now we see through a glass, darkly, but then face to face: now I know in part, but then shall I know even as also I am known.  And now abideth faith, hope, love, these three, but the greatest of these is love.

First God taught me how much he loves me, through that I learned to love him and trust him.  Loving God, everything comes to us after that.

 

 

Matthew 6:33  Seek ye first the kingdom of God and his Righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.

That's what the author of Matthew says. Though there is no real evidence of the identity of the author of Matthew, it is suggested from early times, it is Matthew, the disciple of Jesus.

God takes care of all of our needs, food, drink, clothes, a home, wisdom, our hearts, minds, everything. He cares about every single detail of our lives.  His concern for us is deeper and more profound than we can possibly imagine.

To know Love, as the Father has created it in all it's vastness and depth, there truly is no greater gift.  It's NOT like the world defines it, not about lust and passion and control, our Fathers love is about healing, genuine heart that is devoted and faithful and true.  It's about completeness, being made whole, being humbled.

Psalms 34:8 Oh taste and see that the Lord is good.  Blessed is the man that trusts in HIM.

 

 

Oh Lord, we living in such a hurting world.  Lord I am so thankful and so humbled that you love me and pour out your loving kindness and compassion on me, keep me humble.  Lord I pray for those who are reading my journal today.  I pray Lord they will stop, open their hearts to you, let you teach them your love for them and find their completeness in YOU first.  I pray that I can let my light so shine before man, they will see the joy in my heart and want what I have.  It's you Lord, you are my everything.  God bless the person reading this, minister to their heart, one person at a time and let love have it's perfect work in this world. Thank you most humbly for the words you spoke to my heart this morning, teaching me the power of YOUR love.

Romans 8:28 And we know ALL things work together for good for those who love the Lord and who's trust is in him.

 

Humbly,

Your devoted servant.

 

 

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Subject: GOD BLESS THE MEN AND WOMEN WHO PROTECT OUR FREEDOM
Time: 11:17:11 AM EDT
Author:  slimhawk
Mood:  Grateful

A SOLDIER WHO RISKS HIS LIFE TO CARRY A SMALL CHILD TO SAFETY

 

 

Hello to everyone who stumbles upon my journal today or who purposefully chooses to come visit.  I woke up this morning with such gratitude in my heart for the freedom that this day represents.  As I opened my eyes and laId there, listening to the tiny birds, sing their songs, I thought about the men and women all over the world who make this day possible for me.

 

 

Over two hundred years ago, our forefathers, purposed in their hearts to write the constitution of the United States.  The First Amendment, which clearly outlines our rights to freedom, whether it be freedom of speech, freedom of religion, our right to bare arms and many others rights in our Great Country, this United States of America.  Men who based their values on our Heavenly Father whom they knew with certainty, was and is the ruler of all things.

It would seem that today, the leaders of our country have forgotten who rules all things.  It would seem that our leaders, struggle to interpret the very words of our first amendment with a mind set on compromise to keep everyone happy.

In 1962 when the very first act of taking God out of our children's right to pray in school, our country has spiraled downward.  Our Government proudly and forcefully takes God out of our schools, off of our Government buildings, out of our military and off of our money.  I ask you, where does that leave those of us who Believe in he who dwells in the secrete place of the most high?

 

 

Proverbs 3: 1-4

My son, forget not my laws; But let thine heart keep my commandments; For length of days, and long life; And peace, shall they add to thee, Let not mercy and truth forsake thee: Bind them about thy neck Write them upon the table of thine heart:  So shalt thou find favor and good understanding In the sight of God and men.

Somewhere today, there is a soldier who fights back the tears in his heart to find the courage to face another day of violence in an effort to protect our freedom.  Somewhere today, there is a soldier who misses their family more than words can possibly express and just wants to come home.  Somewhere there is a soldier who only has memories of the simple things in life like picnics and watermelon and tossing a ball with their son. Somewhere, there are soldiers that started this day on their knees, praying to our Heavenly Father to watch over them, protect them, give them the strength, endurance and perseverance to go through another day and fight for our freedom.

As I sit here and ponder this day and the celebrations that will take place all over The United States, I wonder how many of us will reflect on our soldiers who lay their very lives on the line for our freedom.  I wonder about the hearts of those men and women who selfishly fight to take away our very rights that these men and women fight to protect.  It's not just our enemies in other countries that we need to protect ourselves from but also the men and women in this country who place themselves above our Savior and feel they some how have the right to tell me I can not speak of my heavenly father in public.

It is not these men and women whom our soldiers turn too in the middle of their night when fear grips their hearts and they feel they can't face another day.  It is not these men and women whom our soldier looks too for their safety and peace of mind.  It is not these men and women who our soldiers pray too for protection.  It's our heavenly father who still sits high on the throne and holds the whole world in his hands.

My prayer today is that there will be peace.  I pray for the soldiers who bravely face our enemies and fight for our freedom.  Lord, I pray that on this day and every day, you pour out your grace, compassion and mercy on our soldiers and keep them in your mighty hands.  Give them joy that only you can give them.  Speak to their hearts and remind them that you are a mighty and powerful God and that you Lord and only you, have the power to protect them and keep them this day and always.

Today, I honor and pray for blessings over our soldier everywhere.  Thank you for all that you do to make it possible for me to wake up in a land that is free and safe and plentiful.  If it were not for you, I know that I would not be free.  911 is a constant reminder to me that our enemies do hate us.  It reminds me that they have no regard for the lives in this great country of the United States of America.  Today, I honor our troops.

 

Special thanks to you, Sugar for the beautiful graphics that you bless me with.

 

 

 

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Subject: THE HEALING LOVE OF MY SAVIOR
Time: 11:28:55 AM EDT
Author:  slimhawk

 

The Healing Arms of my Father

 

Well, Hello to all my friends who read my journal and even to those of you who just happened to drop by.  It's been so long since I have made an entry in my journal and I have missed you all.  Even though I have not made an entry in quite some time, my thoughts and prayers have been with you each day.  I trust and pray you are blessed.

Most of my faithful readers know that I found a church back in October, which really wasn't a new church at all.  It's a church that I went too years ago and somehow believed had closed it's doors.  New people have joined since I left yet, old friends and familiar faces are still there.

I had such a hard time going back to church because of the one on one relationships that you encounter in a place like that.  It's impossible to be in a church that small and not be noticed and approached by others.

Because of my past and things that have happened, I had no desire what so ever to have a personal relationship with anyone outside of the Lord.  I was convinced that life was just fine with me and my Lord and I didn't need anyone.  I would go to the services and then dart out afterwards, as to not draw any attention to myself.

As time went on, the Holy Spirit would speak to me about different individuals in the congregation and draw my attention to them.  Slowly I began to see one by one, penetrating my heart and I just wanted to talk to them and hug them and know them.

It started with my Pastor, Joey.  He is such an anointed man of God and it seemed that each time I did a Bible study during the week, Pastor Joey would confirm what God showed me, the following service.  That's how God drew my attention to him.

Today I find myself blessed with such amazing Godly people.  People who are so filled with the Love of God that they just humble me and touch my heart.

It's seems that the Lord is doing a healing in me that I never believed would be possible again.  He carefully hand picks each one and then confirms them to me.  I am richly blessed.

I few weeks ago, I found myself being drawn to one of the men in the church but I resisted it, ran from it, tried to push it out of my mind and my heart.  I would see him at church and feel a sense of panic as if I need to get away from him as quickly as I could.  I knew something was going on and it scared me.  I've lived all these years alone and closed to the idea of ever having a mate again and being ok with just me and God.

I began to notice that he was different than other men I have known.  He's patient and kind and tender, yet strong.  He loves the Lord first and with all his heart.  The Lord began to speak to me and cause me to realize that nothing this man was doing gave me a reason to feel the way I was feeling when I was around him so I began to pray and seek the Lord and submit myself to my father.

I couldn't get him off my mind and I was feeling troubled in my heart.  Each time he came to my mind, I would pray for him because that's how I deal with anyone the Lord puts on my heart like that.

One day, the Holy Spirit spoke to me and he reminded me of my list. I thought, List??? what list???  That's when it hit me, the list that I have with the Lord, the only exception I would consider, to open my heart again.

He must be so in love with the Lord that nothing shakes his focus.  He must be a gentleman and respectful and live his life each day with the Lord as number one.  He needs to be kind and loving and have a sense of humor and love me for who I am inside.

When I realized that this man at church was everything on my list and more, it shook me up. I'm not looking for anyone.  I'm so content with the Lord being my everything, I don't even know if I have room in my heart for another person.  I don't need anyone and just all kinds of justification worked to push him out of my head.

It would seem that the Holy Spirit thought of everything and so he brought into the picture, two very precious women who just seem to know in their spirit, what I'm feeling and going through.  Slowly they have reached out to me and become so important in my life that I can't imagine life without them.  They just minister to my heart and give me sound, Godly advice and pray for me.

Last week was a huge break through because I made a decision to stop running from it all and let the Lord bless me and trust him.  I was a mess though and cried and prayed and cried some more.  I almost missed out on the blessing God has for me because of the fear.  Memories of my past and things I've been through, clouded my mind and heart and  I found myself wanting to be invisible again.  All the while, the Holy Spirit just ever so gently reminded me that this man had done nothing to cause me to feel the way I was feeling.

Today, I'm just in awe of the healing that God has done in my heart.  I'm at peace and my focus is on the Lord because he's my father and I know he wants only the best for me.  My precious friend reminded me to not try to figure things out in the natural but in the spirit.  Those words gave me such a profound sense of peace because it made me stop and remember, it's not people I am trusting, it's God.

I don't know what the Lord is doing for certain.  What I do know is that this man has captured my heart.  Maybe he's just a part of the healing process, the evidence that there are good men in this world who love the Lord.  Maybe he will play a big role in my future some day.   I am not completely certain but what I do know is that my heart is open again to possibilities of genuine, good hearted friends and maybe even a husband one day.

I'm sharing this with you so openly because I know that I am not the only one who has had their heart broken and betrayed.  I know the isolation it can bring and the loss of joy one can feel.  I know that is not what God has for any of us and I know he hasthe power to heal a shattered heart like mine.

I hope and pray that those who read this will be blessed by my words.  I pray that the spirit of fear will be broken for those of you who are hurting and feel hopeless and I pray that you will open your hearts to the possibilities that exists for healing and fresh love when you humbly submit your hearts to the Lord and trust in his power to heal you, one tiny layer at a time.

I dedicate this entry to my sweet sisters, Tammy and Patricia, who have taken on the huge task of loving me and supporting me through all of this.  They pray for me and talk to me and give me such sound and wise, Godly advice.  I have not had a one on one relationship with anyone, for many years but today, I have two very precious women of God who call me friend and have penetrated my heart.

I'm leaving you with a poem that Tammy gave to me.  It captures the very essence of my heart. The first line spoke volumes to me as I am set on keeping the Lord, the keeper of my heart. May the peace that passes all understanding guard your hearts and minds and may you be richly blessed this day.

 

 

 

 

 

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Subject: PERSECUTION
Time: 5:19:49 PM EDT
Author:  slimhawk

 

I know now more than I did when I sat down to do this entry, that the Lord put it on my heart to do so.  I had finished my entry and was doing a spell check when the entire entry just disappeared.  That's after starting the entry, not being able to see my journal.

Persecution is a powerful tool of the enemy.  In the world which we live in today, persecution has lost all boundaries and limitations and everyday holds a new challenge to let our lights shine and be who we have been called to be.

Persecution comes in many forms, false accusations against another person, anger over anything that has to do with God, standing up for the truth in the word of God, being bold in who you are as a child of God.  All these things bring on persecution.

The enemy is very serious and he is not playing games.  He prowls the earth looking for anyone who might be a threat to him or his purpose to destroy the light of God.  If you are that person who refuses to back down and continues in the things of God, then you know all too well how powerful the enemy is to hit you with bad finances, poor health, suffering, loss of loved ones, conflict in your work place.

Matthew 5:11 - Blessed are ye when men shall revile you and persecute you and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake.  Rejoice and be exceeding glad for great is your reward in heaven, for so persecuted they the prophets before you.

Rejoice and be glad because you know that you are a threat to the enemy when you stand for truth and righteousness.  You know that if you are in the light, you have the power of God on your side and if he be for you, who can be against you?

Psalm 1  Blessed is the man that walks no in the counsel of the ungodly for he shall be like the tree, planted bythe waters.  Paraphrased but to the point.

Matthew 5:44   Love your enemies, bless then that curse you, do good to them that hate you and pray for them which despitefully use you and persecute you.

If we as Christians, refuse to buy into the lies of the enemy and turn to the Lord for the grace we need to love our enemies, we defeat the power of the enemy to use us for his cause.

I know so many going through so much right now.  I have friends who have completely shut down and avoid any contact with me or anyone else because of the strong hold the enemy has on them.  Even in my personal life I am dealing with tremendous persecution, false accusations, financial problems, great sadness but I know that none of it comes from God.  It's the enemies attack on me and his desperation to change my decision to follow the Lord.

Our service at church today was on persecution.  It was about how people can smile at us and kiss us and yet turn around and put a dagger in our backs.  Just like Judas betrayed Jesus in the same manner and yet, he ate the last supper with him and pretended to love him.  Afterwards, a woman in my church came up to me and told me that she had a prophecy for me.  I am under severe persecution as of March 4 and will be for the next 40 days.  I know it was from the Lord for me to be on my guard and put my armor on daily and pick up the cross and follow Jesus.

The song says, I have decided to follow Jesus. Though none go with me, still I will follow. No turning back, no turning back.

We need to be on our knees before the Lord, praying for our country, our leaders, our children, friends, families, neighbors, everyone. We need to get our focus off of ourselves and onto our purpose in him which is to spread the news and tell others about the Lord.  We need to get in the word, stay in the word and be on our guard, full armor and dressed in truth and righteousness and we need to not be hiding until we become the one who is targeted by the enemy and remind him that he is defeated and we know who wins.

I pray that anyone who reads this will pray about it and ask the Lord to show you what you need to see.  I pray that this encourages those who are under attack and that they will be reminded, Satan is defeated.  I pray this destroys the power the enemy might have on you, your thoughts, your doubts and strengthens your hearts and minds and I pray that you never forget because Satan never forgets and he is running out of time.

We serve a risen Savior, he's in the world today.  I know that he is with me, no matter what men say.  I see his hand of mercy I hear his voice of cheer, and just the time I need him, he's always near.

God bless you.

 

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Subject: IN LOVING MEMORY OF BARBARA
Time: 4:12:17 PM EST
Author:  slimhawk
Mood:  Quiet

IN LOVING MEMORY OF BARBARA

Born in 1956    Died on February 7.2008

A precious friend and neighbor, Barbara, died suddenly on Thursday in the wee hours of the morning.  It's funny, I knew her for 17 years, lived across the street from her, we watched our children grow up together, cried together, laughed together, talked about the Lord together and yet, I can't remember right now, what her last name was or even her birthday.  Those things were not important, what was important was that she was the person that I could always count on and I was that person for her.

Barbara was a very sweet, humble and meek soul who had experienced more tragedy and heart break than most people can imagine.  Yet, in the midst of it all, she was always bright and happy and thankful and believed in God with all her heart. She was the kind of person who in the midst of her poverty and suffering, would bake you cookies when you were sad.  She would give you the shirt off of her back and last piece of bread, never ever letting you know about her own suffering and never complaining.

She was the strong tower for her husband and his encourager and Rae of sunshine.  They were one of those very rare couples who honored and loved each other and who's lives and relationship was built on the Lord.  She was a patient and long suffering mother to her children and she never gave up on them, no matter what.  She was an ever present encouragement to me and there for every tragedy that I've been through, with words of love and hope and encouragement.

The family is very poor because of such tremendous hardships that they suffered and so burying her will be by the grace of God.

The last time I saw her was the night before she died.  I answered the door and it was her, carrying one of my daughters cats, wanting curiously to know his name.  I invited her in but she said she was sick with a cold and did not want for me to catch it.  Always thinking of someone else before her own needs, up to the very last minute.

Animals loved her, birds flocked to her when she would step outside to water her yard.  Children loved her ...........  just a Rae of sunshine to everyone she met.  She loved to sit and watch my flower garden and inspired me to want to care for it, when my daughter left last year and I was so sad.

Simple, meek, humble, Godly woman, who will live on in my heart forever as my friend, my confidant, my encourager, my angel.

Today is her grand daughters 5th birthday.  Her daughter is making arrangements for her mother's funeral on a day that is suppose to be filled with happiness and joy and blessing.

I know that the angels welcomed her into heaven with open arms and rejoice in her presence.  For those of us who are left behind, the sadness lingers of such a tragic death and great loss in our every day lives.

The scripture says, There is no greater love than that a man lay down his life for a friend.  I will always think of Barbara when I think of that scripture because she was that person to everyone.

Praise God she is no long suffering physical pain from the arthritis and various ailments that she had.  We will always miss her and find comfort in knowing that one day, we will be together again.

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Subject: THERE IS HOPE
Time: 4:13:35 PM EST
Author:  slimhawk

It's been quite a while since I've made an entry and so I am making time today to do so.  I know that even when I don't get very many comments, people see my page and need the very same hope that I live by, The Lord Jesus Christ.

It's not enough that the world knows the story of his birth, death and resurrection, God loves us so much that he has given us evidence that no man can deny.  Archeologist and scientific evidence that he was on this earth, just like his word tells us he was.  The truth is, he is still ever present in our lives today but it takes faith and with that faith comes the hope that is in him.  The only thing I need to know that there is always someone greater than me who loves me beyond measure and never leaves.

1 Peter 1:3 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, which according to his abundant mercy hath begotten us again unto a lively hope by the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead.

I looked up the word, " Hope", today because once again, I had to miss church and fellowship with other Christians and for me, that's very draining and wearisome.

The word of God has so much to say about hope.  I love how I can pick up the Bible and find the answers to anything I need.  Even in those times when all I can find is the truth that the Lord loves me and is with me, it's enough to keep moving forward.

We all have trials and troubles in our lives and each of us struggle to hold on and find hope and encouragement.  Sometimes, the enemy hits us so hard and with so much, we feel that we can't even see a way out.  The good news is that the Lord knows the way out and we can always count on him to carry us through anything.

We are saved by hope.  The Bible tells us in Romans 8:24 For we are saved by hope: but hope that is seen is not hope: for what a man seeth why doth he yet hope for? But we hope for that we see not, then do we with patience wait for it.

Jeremiah 17:7 Blessed is the man that trusts in the Lord, and whose hope the Lord is.

I know what it feels like to live without hope because I spent a long time in that state of mind.  With circumstances and heart breaks that I could not understand, Satan robbed me of my faith and hope and life felt like a black hole.

Titus 1:1 I Paul, a servant of God and an apostle of Jesus Christ, according to the faith of God's elect, and the acknowledging of the truth, which is after godliness; In hope of eternal life, which God, that cannot lie, promised before the world began.

All through the word of God, old Testament and new, God's rich promises of hope and love are ever present in the life of those who had their hope in the Lord. King David, King Solomon, Job, Mosses, Daniel, Ruth, Ester and Paul.  So many who went through the same kinds of things we do today and yet they persevered.

I know how life can come upon us and overwhelm us with great trails and struggles and sorrow.  I know that we can have days when we don't even want to get out of bed.  The problems are real and can consume us with hopelessness.  I experience it every single day but there is always hope in the Lord.  He understands our needs and cares and he is always here for us to turn too.

So many scriptures in the Bible to encourage us and lighten our load and remind us of who sits on the throne and reigns.  I pray that you pick up your Bibles and read some of the scripture I have shared with you today.  Just ten minutes with the Lord and his word and my heart is filled with hope again, even though nothing seems to be going right.  Be blessed, encouraged but mostly, be assured that the Lord loves even you.

There is always something to be thankful for, gifts from God we tend to over look.  Our hope is in him, I believe it's all in one's perspective as to whether or not he or she has anything to be thankful for.  Our out look on life............  "Is your glass half full or half empty"??

 

God bless.

 

 

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Subject: Your Award
Time: 3:31:30 PM EST
Author:  slimhawk
Mood:  Quiet

 

I received this award from my dear friend, Jeanette and wanted to pass it on. I am instructed to pass it on to others, not exceeding seven.

Jeanette, Sisters In Christ, Life and Faith in Canneyhead, no matter how you get to her, she's a strong friend in the Lord with evidence of his presence in her life and hope and love to all who reach out to her.  Your love lifts my heart.

Barbara Pinion, my sweet older friend who reminds me so much of my Aunt Harriet, I wonder if God was thinking of her, when he brought Barbara into my life.  I love you and appreciate your wisdom, patience and love for me but most of all, your love and faith in Christ.

Sugar Shack, my sweet sweet sugar girl who keeps me grounded and encourages my heart with her positive attitude with life and situations, no matter how hopeless they seem. You encourage my heart and make me want to reach deeper and deeper to be that person God wants me to be.

Angel Rose, my friend who reached out to me and never gave up, even when my heart was breaking and lost in a sea of fear and doubt.  Because of you, I chose to rediscover the Lord and who he is. What a precious gift.

Janie, you know who you are.  Always willing to listen and be encouraging and not forget me.  You have been such an encouragement to me.

Rjet, Susan, even in the midst of all you have been through, you always take time to write me and check on me and the love of God is genuine in your heart.  Thank you.

Last but not least, my son.  Even though his life is filled with pain and turmoil and confusion, his love and loyalty has stood the test of time and I love him so.  Please keep him in your prayers.

Like one tiny spark can start a fire, one act of kindness can spread and make a better world.  I hope you pass this on to other deserving people and remind someone that kindness does matter.

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Subject: THE YEAR OF FAITH
Time: 12:05:50 AM EST
Author:  slimhawk
Mood:  Ecstatic

HAVE A BLESSED AND JOYOUS YEAR IN FAITH HOPE AND LOVE

 

Hello my friends, what a blessing is was to wake up this morning and to realize that by the grace of God, a new year has sprung and I made it through this last one. Isn't this a beautiful picture of the Lord?  I am so happy because I know that I have found my first and true love, my Savior.

I can't say that this last year was a wonderful year, with the thoughts of all the things I went through, sweeping through my head.  What I can say though is that I was truly blessed in all the hardships and trials I went through because I realize that God truly showed me a glimpse of how awesome he really is.

Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, the glory of God.  Those short words, scriptural and yet very profound, have found new meaning in my heart because I has tasted the power of God and I am so blessed.

This year is the year of faith, I just know that is what the Lord has spoken to my heart.  There was a time when that would scare me because I know it means trials and suffering but not anymore.  I am in awe of how powerful the Lord is.  When I think back on this past year and all that I experienced, I know without a doubt in my mind, it's only by his grace and power that I made it.

 

Faith is the substance of things hope for, the evidence of things not seen.

If you think about that one scripture, it has such powerful truth and light and hope in it.  I know that faith can move mountains, the scripture tells us that.  I know that faith is believing in something with all my heart, even though I have no evidence of it ever coming to pass.  I know that the power of God moves through us because of our faith.  What a wonderful gift that God gives to each of us, when we believe in him with all our hearts and minds.

The Bible is very clear when it tells us that we are to trust in the Lord with all our hearts and lean not to our own understanding but in all our ways, acknowledge him and he will direct our paths.  Greater is he that is in me than he that is in the world. He knows his plans for us and they are for good and not evil.

So many of the promises that I held onto this past year that helped me through everything. I found that the Lord is my everything and if he be for me, who can be against me??  When no one knew the truth but God, that was enough.  When no one was here with me, God was here and that was enough.  When my heart was crushed and I was so lost and alone, I would cry out to the Lord and he would speak to my heart and comfort me and cover me like a blanket with his love.

I pray this next year will be such a blessing for each and everyone who reads this.  I pray that I can keep my eyes so focused on the Lord that nothing can move me.  I pray that my light so shines before men that they will see it and glorify my Savior.

I expect great things this next year.  I know that the Lord is with me and that he is all I need but I also know that he see's the desires of my heart and he is faithful.

They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength, they shall mount up with wings as eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint.

May the peace that passes all understanding be yours and may the Lord richly bless you and make his light to shine upon you but most of all, may you seek him and find him and know what an awesome God we have.

HAPPY NEW YEAR

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Subject: MERRY CHRISTMAS
Time: 11:07:53 PM EST
Author:  slimhawk
Mood:  Happy

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JESUS

It's Christmas all over the world.  People running here and there, buying gifts, decorating and cooking and busy with all the rush of the season.  Yet, there are millions out there with no joy in their hearts because they have lost the true meaning of Christmas and their joy depends on things that are not of the original meaning of Christmas.

Imagine, having a birthday party for someone and not inviting them?  It sounds ridiculous but that is what many of us do at Christmas time because a huge part of the world does not recognize the reason for Christmas, The Birth of Our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

I felt it all through this Christmas season.  Was told that I could not say, " Merry Christmas", at work.  For me, it was completely unacceptable and I was willing to loose my job over it.  At some point, we must take a stand in what we believe in and stand up for it.  I am a Christian and I am proud of being a Christian and I know that if it were not for the birth of Jesus, I would have no hope in my life today.

Over two thousand years ago, a Savior was born in Bethlehem.  A quiet and pure peasant girl, chosen by God, to give birth to our savior.  Imagine what it must have been like for her to find that she was going to conceive a child when she never had intimate relations with her bethroved, Joseph.  Imagine the ridicule and cruelty that she must have endured to carry out God's will for her and to have this child.  Joseph wanted to put her away but the angel of God spoke to him and told him that she had not done anything to be ashamed of and that she was only the vessel God chose to use to bring his son into the world.

How the people must have mocked and scorned them and judged them.  The King, Herod, was beside himself to discover that a king had been born and that one day, he would be the one people worshiped and bowed down too.  He sent his wise men to where the child was, to see what was going on.  The wise men followed a star in the east until it stopped, right above where the Savior laied in the manger. 

 

 

As soon as they saw the baby Jesus, they gave him gifts and praised him.  The angel of the Lord spoke to them and told them not to return to their town by the way in which they came because the King would do them harm.

 

 

A Savior, Christ the Lord, born to an earthly woman, by the conception of the holy spirit.  Un imaginable circumstances but because of Mary's obedience, the miracle of the birth of our Savior is a reality today.

How many times do we face circumstances that seem impossible by all appearances and become too afraid to face them?  How many times, I wonder, do we miss huge blessings from God because of our fear?

I know that there are many hurting this year and are weary and broken but the good news is that nothing is impossible with the Lord.  I pray this Christmas that each and everyone who reads this will know the true meaning of Christmas and find the peace and joy that comes from this miracle from God.

It's not about the gifts and the tree and the money, it's about the birth of our very hope and confidence in knowing who we belong too and what that means for us. I put up a tree with just lights on it this year, no presents.  My gift, my Christmas miracle is that my daughter is safe and warm and home with me.  I know that if it were not for my Savior, this would never have happened and I give him all the glory and honor for being so faithful.  This year, my gift is that my family is together again and I know with certainty that God is not finished and that his plan for us is for good and not evil.  Praise the Lord, our Savior lives.

Merry Christmas to each and everyone of you. May the miracle of Christmas be in your heart and minds and bring your great tidings of joy.  For unto us this day is born, a Savior, Christ the Lord.

 

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Subject: PRAISE REPORT
Time: 10:08:11 PM EST
Author:  slimhawk

It was December 7, 2007 at about 5:03 pm, 308 days, ten months and 4 days after my daughter left home, my cell phone rang and it was the voice of my daughter on the other end.  At first I thought it wasn't real, all I could hear was hysterical crying. I couldn't make out the words and so I asked, who it was??  On the other end, the voice said, " it's your daughter.  I can't even tell you what went through my mind because in an instant, I asked her, where are you, I'll come get you.

As I drove over to her house, I was praying and thanking God and focused on what God would have me say or do.  When I got to her apartment, the door was open and there she was, sitting on the floor,  crying her heart out.  The first words she said to me were, " mommy, I'm so sorry.  I wrapped my arms around her and held her and just kept focused on God and held her.

Today, it's been a week since she has been home and I am so thankful that she is some place safe.  The one thing I keep realizing is that through this whole time, I have not let go of God.  Those of you who read my journal know how much I have grown through this whole thing.  I went back and read my entries from way back when she left and it's the evidence I have that God has been my rock and my refuge through this whole thing.  I am so thankful for him and for the first time in my life, I have actually learned to trust the Lord with all my heart no matter what happens.

My children are both home now.  In a matter of seven days, both of them have come home.  The first night that my daughter was back, I remember laying in bed and thinking, as wonderful as it is to have her some place safe, nothing comes close to how it feels to know what an awesome God I have.  One that never leaves us nor forsakes us, no matter what.

There was a time when I only knew how to praise God in the good times.  Today I realize that I have learned to praise him every single day because of who he is.  I've learned that even in the worst of times, we must always keep our eyes focused on him and trust him with all our hearts.  I've learned that he is my best friend and nothing compares to him.  He is my best friend and my everything and no matter what happens, I trust him.

I don't know what is going to happen.  I asked the Lord to take her away from the people who were hurting her so much and restore our relationship and he chose to bring her home.  I feel so sad that she has had to go through so much suffering but I am also praising God that he kept her safe and watched over her when I couldn't.

My prayer is that God continue to work his will in this situation.  I pray that he continues to give me wisdom, love, patience and peace through this healing process for both of us.  Last night, there was a situation and she lost control and just started screaming and wanting to break things.  I was amazed at how God kept me calm and held my tongue so that I didn't say anything damaging.  I simply told her that it was not ok for her to behave the way she was and that if she could not control herself, she needed to go for a walk or get away till she calmed down. The next thing I knew, she was leaving, screaming she hated me and out the door.

After a little while, she called me to tell me she was safe and she would be home later. I went to bed and then to work today and we didn't speak again.  When I came home for lunch today, she came home a few minutes later and came over to me and cried and told me how sorry she was. That's a huge change in her.  God is working.

The power of God to restore people is amazing to me.  What he is doing in me, in my children and in our lives is so powerful.  Things have not gone as quickly as I had hoped they would but I knew the whole time, God was in control.If my hope was in the situation or the people that are involved, I would be afraid and anxious but my hope is in the Lord.  No matter what happens, I know he is in control. I am so thankful for those of you who have read my journal and gone all this way with me and prayed and been there for me.  I hope and pray that God can use this situation and how I have reacted to it, to encourage another heart and give hope to the hopeless.

Six days ago, I had absolutely no clue that my daughter would come home.  Still, I felt the same peace that I do today with her here.  The reason is because my focus is on the Lord.

Your prayers are still needed because the healing process will take a lot of time but I am confident that he is faithful to finish the good work he has begun because his word tells us he is.

I pray for anyone who is reading this and in a situation where they feel hopeless because that is not from God, it's from the enemy. He wants to beat us down and make us give up because he knows that if we have faith, the size of a grain of mustard seed, we can move mountains.  Never give up, never stop praying and never stop seeking God's will in all things and the peace that passes understanding will keep you through it all.  God bless.  Thank you for all of your prayers.

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