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Feeling Hopeful
Hearing Motown Favorites
DAY 1
Well, this is day 1 of my new life. What's so new about it you ask? Well, after surviving a near fatal car accident that left me in a coma for 6 months, with more broken bones than I care to mention, the loss of my unborn baby, my husband and my memory, today, for the first time, I walked to the bathroom alone, without any help from either person or walker. Things are definitely looking up I'd say.
One year ago, on New Years Eve, my husband and I were coming home from a party at some friends' home. We had enjoyed ourselves very much, since we had both been so busy with work and hadn't been able to see them as often as we would have liked. We were both sober. We never drank. Ever. While going through a green light, a truck driver doing 85 mph and high as a kite on cocaine, methamphetamines and crystal meth, ran the light and hit us. My husband was killed instantly, I wasn't so lucky. I was 7 months pregnant with our first child, a girl, and was trapped in the wreckage for 6 hours while they had to cut my husband into pieces to be able to get me out.
I had severe head injuries, internal bleeding, broken everything and all that goes with an accident like ours.
I awoke from a come 6 months later, on July 4th, 2004. I remember nothing of my life before that day and still have trouble remembering day to day things. Probably always will. I had to learn to walk, eat, talk and think all over again. I have seen more doctors and even more have seen me. I have scars that will be with me forever, but don't remember how they got there. In that I am fortunate....I guess.
Everything I went through, was told to me by hospital staff, family, friends, police, and paramedics. I saw the newspaper articles on the accident and couldn't believe it was me they were talking about. It was surreal.
So, now I'm a new person. No past....nothing. I can start fresh without all those troublesome memories to bog me down and hold me back. Ok, so I'm a tad optimistic. I've had to learn to be.
So, on my birthday, my father bought me a computer. A rather nice one I must say, and I got AOL, through the reccomendation of my physical therapist, Glenn. Gay, cute, funny as all hell and he dresses better than me, but I try not to hold that aginst him.
While cruising through AOL, I notice Hometown and AOL Journals. Hmmm. I check it out. I spend days thinking about it. Ok, weeks. Who am I kidding? I simply cannot make spur of the moment decisions.
I think about it some more. I make a decision....and here I am with my first online journal. I play with it for awhile, change the name 5oo times, check out other online journals, come back to AOL. Play with the colors, and all the cool stuff and finally make my first entry.
I must confess, I'm not a real writer. Nor do I aspire to be. I just have all this shit in my head and have to get rid of it for fear of doing something impulsive.....like using my insurance settlement to buy that cool Ferrari I saw last week. It would look cool in my garage. Only problem is I can never remember where my garage is. No kidding. I always walk into the pantry when headed to the garage. So, here I am in all my glory. Well, not quite, but you get the picture, or you will if I can remember where I put it.
I actually never expect anyone to ever find this, so I will not censor my thoughts or mouth. Why should I? After all I've been through, I should be able to say what I want.
I live in Hawaii now. I left California. Not sure why. But I like it here. People are friendly, and kosher to me. Not too bad if I do say so myself.
Just a side note, the earthquake and tsunami in Asia took the lives of several of my best friends from college, or so my family tells me. Since I don't remember them, it doesn't hurt so bad, but I would like for anyone who happens to stumble across this to say a prayer or whatever it is you do for all those lost and their families, ok? Just tell 'em Sooki sent ya.
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12/29/04 11:54 AM