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Thursday, January 10, 2008
Friday, May 11, 2007
10:07:26 PM CDT
Feeling Quiet
The End of an Era?
The end of an era? Probably not but it feels like it. Tonight was my last night at the Corral. I am sad that I don't feel sad if that makes sense. It seems I have been there forever. I just really wanted to leave the whole night. It was time to quit! I am going to miss Mary, that's about it.
Hannah made my day when I got home tonight. She said "so you are done? You aren't going back? Yay that means you can spend more time with us!" As she ran into my arms and hugged me. That my friends is the reason I breathe.
Written by sschwingler
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Tuesday, May 8, 2007
11:07:00 PM CDT
Feeling Mischievous
Stuck up bitch?? Me?
So tonight I was accused of being a stuck up bitch who thinks I am better than others. Why? Because some girl in our party yelled across a 4 star restaurant asking me how much my Coach cost. I looked at her stunned and couldn't reply because then I would have to yell across the restaurant back at her. So I simply gave a goofy look and went outside to smoke. This girl was a guest at the party I was attending at this restaurant, not someone I would socialize with on any sort of basis but still. She couldn't realize what she did was rude and instead had to turn it around on me?? GMAB!! She ended up crying and saying she should have never came. No sweetheart if you don't know how to behave in public you probably shouldn't have. I may not be better than you but I certainly have better social graces.
Edit:
Forgot to add, I quit the Corral tonight. Slightly sad but mostly just relieved. My boss said he knew it was coming. At least he expected it. We are parting on good terms. I have been there along time, I feel like I am moving out of the place I grew up.
Written by sschwingler
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Thursday, January 11, 2007
1:29:47 PM CST
Have you ever needed to have yourself a really good cry and not even known it?
I was poking around a bit on a file sharing site and came across a song I know I used to love so I downloaded it and hit play. The tears just came, hot sad, huge tears. Tears I never knew I had inside me. I knew I loved the song and I realized I hadn't heard it in nearly 15 years. It was the song I sang to my oldest in the middle of the night when nothing else would sooth him but to walk the hall and sing to him. The song is Baby of Mine.
It made me long for the days of my baby, the sweet smell of his breath. The comforting smell of his jammies freshly washed in Dreft. His black eyes staring up at me in the darkness. All those nights of him and I alone in the world right before my brother would take him out of my hands for his turn to walk the hall with the baby.
I have this strange urge to call my baby home from school, plop him on my lap and sing Baby of Mine to him. It's to bad that he is 15 now and could hold me on his lap.
Another part of the tears is that tomorrow is the one year anniversary of Scott's death. The pain is still fresh and new. The family Christmas was hard. I miss him now just as much as ever. I wish I had the chance to tell him what his friendship meant to me. Wherever you are Scott, I miss you more than words can say....
Written by sschwingler
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Tuesday, January 2, 2007
11:48:30 PM CST
Feeling Chillin'
A circle New Year
Here are some of the highlights from our cul-de-sac New Years party. Of course great fun was had by all, to much fun.
My best friend Cat and I
Me!
Me again!
Deeogee
Some crazy circle girls
Mom and Ed
My adorable husband!
Written by sschwingler
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Friday, December 22, 2006
5:06:13 PM CST
Feeling Sad
Sad
So, when times get hard for me and I have personaly struggles I do what I do best. Sit down on the keyboard and start pounding. I try to get everything out that I am feeling inside but often the words do come as easily as they do in my mind.
Yesterday my good friend Jeremy's grandmother was removed from life support. Today my good friend Scott's grandmother died, also today in roughly an hour my family and those I love will be gathering more than 700 miles away to pay their final respects to my Uncle who died Monday.
Thereis more death than I can wrap my mind around this week. I'd like to say my heart has gone numb and is just rolling with the punches but it hasn't. It just keeps hurting more with the news of each death.
I fear my grandfather will be next. He is having a hard time with my uncles death and he is 89 years old. It will take more than the time of year and a blizzard to keep me away if that is the case.
I don't have the time or energy to edit this entry. What you get are my raw emotions and my bad typing skills. I have to go to work, this is going to be a long night. Please pray for Jeremy, Scott and my entire family. My aunt is mourning the death of her second husband, my cousins are mourning the death of their second Dad. Life is so damn unfair.
Written by sschwingler
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Monday, December 4, 2006
9:39:12 PM CST
Yesterday my baby turned 5!
It was such a sad thing for me. She is the baby and will stay that way. As long as she was under 5 she was still a preschooler and could be a baby. Now she is officially grade school age and has passed the baby stage. ::sigh::
She really did have a good birthday though. We took her to the Mall of America to see the largest gingerbread house in the world. It was really cool. We did some shopping and ended the outing with a trip to Lego Land. Very cool! She has Keely and Patrick come over for ice cream cake and presents. Keely stayed and helped us decorate our tree. She has a great day!
Tomorrow Matthew is going to listen to Heidi Piper speak at a school in St. Paul. She is the astronaut from Minnesota that was on the last space mission. I think it is so exciting! He is going with a group that he is in. They should have a good time.
Ed got his ass grounded yesterday. I didn't understand teens when I was one and I don't understand them now. I still have 3 more to go through once I have him done. That really sucks. I love babies but I'm not so fond of teenagers.
I have to meet with yet another contractor some time this week. The one I met with on Thursday decided the job was just to big for him. I really wish this would all be done and I would be rockin' in my new joint.
Written by sschwingler
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Wednesday, November 29, 2006
8:58:02 PM CST
Feeling Frustrated
WTF is wrong with people??
I am a lot Pms'ie...you have been warned.
What in the hell is wrong with people?? Seriously!
I got up this morning with the intention of heading out to have my manicure touched up. On my way out of our little cul-de-sac I ran across crap scattered everywhere. Seems the guy at the end of the block hired some company to reshingle his roof and they decided to do it with the temp hovering at 20 degrees with the wind chills well below zero.
Nothing pisses me off more than garbage blowing around in our neighborhood (okay some things piss me off but this is at the top of the list). So, I stopped and asked the guys if they were planning to clean all the crap up. The ones shrugs and looks at me like no habla english. Dumb ass. I repeat it a bit louder so maybe the guys, oh say, on the roof can hear me. No answer so I say you had better get this stuff cleaned up it's all over the yards. What is the stuff you ask? It's shingles and tar paper. Who I ask again redoes their roof when the wind chill is below zero?
So I had on over to the nail salon. I walk in and Julie my regular nail tech goes and gets some other girl and heads off. SHIT!! It's her lunch break. Great timing dumb ass. Me I mean, not her.
I think this isn't good but it can't be that bad I mean Julie is the best and she hired her right? Wrong!
I tell her they need to be shorter she takes next to nothing off and tells me I don't want them shorter. Then she overlays them so fat I had a half inch thick nail. I tell her thin, I like them thin, she shaves practically nothing off off and tells me it's good.
I am thinking at this point I will just let her finish ask her not to paint them and head to a different salon to have them fixed. I mean obviously she doesn't want to do them the way I want, but then I think the hell if I will pay her to do my nails wrong then pay someone else to fix them so I tell her they are wrong. By this time Julie senses something is up and comes over and tells her how to do them. Julie my saving grace. She gets them almost thin enough and then says oh you like them thin. No shit Sherlock. That's what I told you 3 times!
So she gets them painted and tells me they are dry enough to go., I say I don't think so they still feel tacky. She tells me no, they are dry you go now. So I did and promptly fudged them all up because guess what! They weren't dry!
Next time it isJulie or nobody and guess how long this little excersion took for me to waste my money? An hour, a freakin hour. It takes Julie 20 minutes start to finish with drying time. ::sigh::
On my way home I pull into the cul-de-sac and all of the crap is picked up! I doubt it would have been though had I not bitched.
A few hours later I had to run over and buy some female products, on my way out the yards were covered with shit again. I give up! Tomorrow I will just call in a littering complaint. Dumb freaking people who can't speak english.
I won't even bore you with the details of the jack ass who rolled through the stop sign so they could pull out RIGHT in front of me and go a max speed of 10MPH. Or the $50 power cord I bought for my laptop and it still doesn't work.
This was just a shitty day and I need a glass of wine which I can't have because I have an early morning meeting and if I have wine tonight I won't want to function in the morning. Oh hell, pass me the merlot!
Written by sschwingler
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Monday, November 27, 2006
11:23:24 PM CST
I gotta babble before I burst.
Funny how I have spent so much time running from my past. Trying to escape all the demons, to move on and outgrow that girl I used to be. Running ahead, or so I thought and then slamming firmly into the past I tried to escape. Getting hit with a 2 ton...heavy thing.
I have become a myspace junkie and did some searching of my old high school. Looking to see where the people from my past ended up. How are they all, where are they all? Did I do better for myself than they did? I had such a shady past and so much to prove that I wanted to be out there and show them. I ended up finding an ex, a long time friend as a matter of fact. One of the people who knew me when. I caught up with him and realized although I have changed some things never do. Namely him.
I then found my childhood best friend. She grew up exactly how I knew she would. Beautiful. Everything about her is beautiful. Thinking about her takes me back to a good place, a peaceful place before I set out on my path of self destruction. Finding her led to another childhood friend finding me. Hello past! He is doing so much better for himself than what he could have done and I am proud of him. I really hope he finds somebody to give him back the love he has to give.
Things are looking up on the restaurant front. I found a contractor tonight that I am meeting with at the restaurant on Thursday. Hopefully this works. I really like him. I just hope I can trust him with a large amount of my cash. (Or the banks to be exact.) I have some things to finish up but I am hoping I am going in the right direction. I never imagined chasing my dream would be so stressful. I just hope it all pays off in the end and I have the amount of business the current owner does. I also hope my marriage doesn't fall apart because I will never see my husband again. Hopefully the kids don't start calling the cat Mommy. They will definitely be seeing the cat more than they see me.
Hannah Belle is turning 5 on Sunday. 5!! Who said my baby girl could turn 5 already? What I wouldn't give to rock that sweet little thing and have her look up at me with those big dark eyes. It all goes so fast.
Tonight Skylee wasn't cooperating with Hannah's room cleaning plans and she walked up and told Sky that if she didn't get up and help her right now that she was going to tell all of her friends that she doesn't wear underwear to bed. Where does she get this stuff?? Of course Skylee wears unders to bed. My girls!!
That's enough babbling for now. I am completely exhausted and was already in bed until my baby sis called.
Peace out all,
Chelle
Written by sschwingler
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Tuesday, November 14, 2006
10:50:49 PM CST
The offer has been accepted. 2 months to get everything done before closing. Now the fun begins...
Written by sschwingler
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