The Random Mutterings of a Vanishing Rhi.

2:42:01 PM EDT
Feeling Bored

It's that crazy time of year around here again.  From September 2 til the 30th, there are 5 birthdays to celebrate and it always seems not enough time nor money to do either.  It's like Christmas around here in September and lets not even mention the car tags that are due around this time as well.

Most of you know I got a new car in May, while I love my car, I do not love the price tag that came attached to the car tag renewal.  For the love of God it's expensive.  However, sometimes, I think it is worth it.  ;o)

Written by steveandrhiannon Permalink | Blog about this entry |  Add to del.icio.us |  digg this This entry has 0 comments: Add your own

1:14:15 PM EDT
Feeling Thoughtful

Not only am I changing jobs and moving, but next week is my final therapy appointment.  I started seeing Doc1 in June 2005, and changed early 2006 to Doc2, and have been going to her ever since.

I have never been ashamed to say that I have been in therapy.  I take no medication and don't have a "diagnosis", I simply needed someone to talk to that was unbiased.  I have a way of apparently picking somewhat judgemental friends, so getting an opinion that is not full of hatred or full of way too many nicities was what I needed.

I had a lot to work through and a lot of unresolved things from my past.  Allow me to say I have made MANY mistakes.  I have done MANY things I would not do again.  I try to not have regrets, because you cannot change the past, but I admit to having a few.  I have hurt a lot of people and most of whom never deserved to be hurt, however *I* am not a bad, mean, nor spiteful person.  I hate noone.  Not even myself. 

When I lie down at night and it's quiet in my house and it is just me in my bed, I am OK with who I am and the decisions I have made  Again there are things I would not do again and things I even wish I could undo, but overall I am ok with Rhiannon.  I never thought I would get to this place.  A place of peacefulness and healing.  I still have bad days (sometimes even weeks), but at the end of the day when it all said and done, I am fine with me. 

I had people in my life who wanted me to believe otherwise, they wanted me to believe I was something I was not.  I removed them from my life.  If you cannot accept me for who I am, then I don't need you and you don't deserve me.  I have (many) friends who disagree with me and some of the decisions I make, but it doesn't change that they love me just the same.

Life is not black and white, life is grey and when you see it black and white you miss out on things and people. 

I feel good about closing this chaper of my life and feel even better about moving forward with my life. 

I know I am a better person and in return will make my children better people.

Written by steveandrhiannon Permalink | Blog about this entry |  Add to del.icio.us |  digg this This entry has 1 comments: Show Recent | Add your own

10:08:14 AM EDT
Feeling Cheerful

I have a start date.  October 1. 

My last day here at TheHotel will be Monday September 29.  That actually ends me on a payweek, and I will only not work Tuesday September 30, which gives me that day to move the last of my stuff.

The NewHotel (which I have to find a name for) will open either October 9 or 10, and I just don't remember what they said  I am thinking it was the 9th, but again I wasn't really concerned with that aspect.  They *can* call me sooner, but it's not likely. 

So phew.....let's get this show on the road. Just because this is one of my favorite pictures.  It makes me smile.

Written by steveandrhiannon Permalink | Blog about this entry |  Add to del.icio.us |  digg this This entry has 1 comments: Show Recent | Add your own

4:53:24 PM EDT
Feeling Thankful

I saw this on Heather's blog and thought I should try it here. Sometimes we get so wrapped up in what we don't have we forget what we do have.  So I thought I would count 100 things that I am thankful for and these are definitely in no particular order, no these things are not all important or life altering, but sometimes it really is the little things:

100.  Chapstick, the medicated brand Chapstick

99.  Diet Coke from Mcdonalds

98. McDonald's French Fries

97. My iPod

96. My Coach Purse

95. My BMW (if you can be in love with a car, I do love mine)

94. Money in my account.  While not as much as I would like or sometimes even need, i am thankful for it

93. That I am employeed

92. That gas has gone down at least a little bit

91. Leslie

90. Carole

89. Yoko

88. Kelly

87. Gary

86. Steve

85. James

84. David

83. Daniel

82. Mark

81. Nathan

80. Zachary

79. Emma

78. Rosie

77. Mr Smith

76. My Cell phone

75. Bluetooth

76. My MAC

75. Daddy

74. My Health

73. The friends I didn't name individually

72. Myspace

71. Random Text (bc it means you care)

70. The Smell of Fall in the air

69. Being a Mother

68. Finding new work

67. B&BW Hand Sanitizer

66.  Thunderstorms

65. Calgon Body Spray

64. Sales

63. Butterfly Kisses

62. Hugs from the kids

61. Zachary's laugh

60. Natural red hair

59. Puppy Breath

58. Water

57. Diet Dr Pepper

56. Chick-fil-a

55. What my grandmother has taught me

54. Being more tolerant than my parents

53.  flip flops (esp from Old Navy)

52. blue jeans

51. tank tops

50. tattoos

49. kisses

48. hugs

47. good sex

46. kisses on the forehead

45. gold hoop earrings

44. presents

43. I love yous from the kids

42. Daddy still calling me Pumpkin and I am almost 31

41. Checkcards

40. hair clips

39. unlimited text

38. Kristen

37. Music

36. Sugar-free fruit punch from Wal-mart

35. new babies

34. White Russians

33. Bar-B-Q

32.  things that make you smell good

31. a good smelling man

30. laughter

29. scarcasm and people who get it

28. Email

27. Internet

26. hotel discounts

25. Travel

24. Cruise ships

23. feather pillows

22. down comforters

21. ceiling fans

20. fossil

19. diamonds

18. random I love yous

17. My Grandfather

16. hair gel

15. difusers

14. ceramic flat irons

13. smirnoff Green Apple

12. Smirnoff Rasberry

11. DKNY Delicious

10.  body lotions

9. Bare Minerals Makeup

8. Maybelline Mascara

7. Lipgloss

6. gel ink

5. ceiling fans

4. air conditioning

3. microwaves

2. the silly things Mark says

1. My family

Written by steveandrhiannon Permalink | Blog about this entry |  Add to del.icio.us |  digg this This entry has 0 comments: Add your own

8:16:58 PM EDT
Feeling Miserable

And well some days you are the hydrant.

It is my day to work the 3p to 11p shift at TheHotel, and normally I don't mind this shift at all, HOWEVER I had Captain D's for dinner and well it didn't like me very much.  :o(

Now I am stuck at work and miserable bc I *have* to be here and just ugh.  More than anything my IBS has flared, which luckily it doesn't do that much anymore but I had (almost) forgotten how miserable I am when it does.  No telling what triggered it other than the huge amount of grease in the Captain Ds.  But blech.  Anyone want to come rub my tummy?

The boys had a good birthday.  Money was burning a hole in their pockets.  (Wonder where they get that from).  Still no start date for NewHotel. If I don't hear from NewGM I will call him tomorrow.  I have Front Desk associates calling me wanting answers and I hate not having any, but well I want to know just as badly as they do.

So, lets all keep those fingers crossed, they also have not answered my rebuttle in salary......

Written by steveandrhiannon Permalink | Blog about this entry |  Add to del.icio.us |  digg this This entry has 0 comments: Add your own

11:55:33 AM EDT
Feeling Chillin' A Very Happy 10th & 8th Birthday to Mark & Nathan!!!

Written by steveandrhiannon Permalink | Blog about this entry |  Add to del.icio.us |  digg this This entry has 1 comments: Show Recent | Add your own

10:33:33 AM EDT

Eh why not....


four places that i go to over and over:
--Grand Bahama Island, Niagra Falls (and I need to get there soon and see my bitch), Grand Caymans, and any cruise ship

four people who email me regularly:
--My mom, my dad, Brenda, and careerbuilder.

four people who phone me regularly:
--Steve, James, Leslie, My Daddy

four people who text me regularly:
--Kristen, Kelly, Twitter, Leslie

four favorite places to eat:
--Red Lobster, Outback, McDonalds, Chilis.

four places i would rather be right now:
--at home, on a beach, on a cruise ship, rolling in money somewhere

four people i think will respond:
--Probably none

four TV shows i watch all the time:
-- Bones, House, Scrubs, Crap TV on MTV/VH1.

four things i say regularly:
--seriously, whatever, no, shit

four things i do very well:
--multi-task, make people laugh, Communicate, and I have been told I am a great kisser ;o).

four favorite memories:
--The kids being born, Any Cruise, My brother being born, Finding out Emma was a girl.

four things that inspire me/i am passionate about:

Daniel, Mark, Nathan, Zachary, Emma (ok so it was five)


four things i look forward to:
--graduating with my BSN, a new job, moving, going on vacation again

Written by steveandrhiannon Permalink | Blog about this entry |  Add to del.icio.us |  digg this This entry has 0 comments: Add your own

10:16:57 AM EDT
Feeling Anxious

Still no phone call from NewHotel.  I mean I know I got the job and I am hired, that is not the issue, but I have a hotel here waiting to hear when my last day is, along with someone new wanting to be trained.  Blah.

I was promised a phone call Wednesday, which I did not get, nothing yesterday either, I am guessing today I am going to have to call myself.  I think I have waited long enough. 

On another note, has something ever happened that when it happened you expected a completely different reaction out of yourself then you got?  Yeah that happened to me this morning. I thought I would be mad/sad/angry/hurt but nothing.  I'm not numb, or blocked off from the pain, I just legitimately don't care.

The opposite of love is not hate my friends, it is apathy and you would much rather me hate you then not give a shit.  And frankly my dear I don't give a damn.

Written by steveandrhiannon Permalink | Blog about this entry |  Add to del.icio.us |  digg this This entry has 0 comments: Add your own

11:41:46 AM EDT
Feeling Frustrated

I still know nothing. Nada, Zip, Zilch, Zero.  I did send the new GM a text message yesterday evening just asking if he had heard anything.  I didn't want to call him since he is still working another job and I don't want to interfere with all of that, and no return call or text.  I am guessing he doesn't know anything or he would have returned the call/text.  He is in the same boat I am in (more or less) he has another job, managing another hotel in the area and really can't give them a notice either.

I did meet all 8 of the people I will be supervising and none them know when they are going to start either and they were promised phone calls by Friday from either myself or the new GM as to when they would start and what their pay would be (Some of them still don't know).  My guess is that the Owner and the RGM don't know anything really about an opening date and it is all tentative, but most of us have other jobs that kind of want to know and well some of us just work in hell and want out ASAP.

Written by steveandrhiannon Permalink | Blog about this entry |  Add to del.icio.us |  digg this This entry has 0 comments: Add your own

5:45:36 PM EDT
Feeling Stressed

Alright, well I spent 48 hours at the NewHotel and still know no more than I did when I left town on Sunday.

No, really I don't.

The opening day has been moved from September 10 to what we believe will be October 1, that is a permit issue thing.  And um well.....yeah.  That's all I know.  I have no real start day (Again I am waiting on the phone to ring again).  I have a tentative salary and really it does need to be higher and um yeah that is all I know.

So keep those fingers (and eyes and legs) crossed for just a little while longer mmmkay?

Written by steveandrhiannon Permalink | Blog about this entry |  Add to del.icio.us |  digg this This entry has 1 comments: Show Recent | Add your own