1:49:37 PM EDT
my brown eyed girl
I am hesitant to convey how I really feel about the events of the past few days, because so many of my friends here are going through much more trying times, but the pooches are my family, and I am concerned.
I took Charlie Brown the Xmas Cat to the vet yesterday to get him tested for feling leukemia/aids, and to see if he was going to be viable for neutering. He's STILL sneezing after two full rounds of antibiotics, but he doesn't get nosebleeds anymore, so I'm happy for that. His tests all came back negative and I am taking him in at 0730 tomorrow to get him prepped. Hope he will zoom through with flying colors. He's a tough little guy so I'm not worried too much. *He just draped himself across both of my forearms as I type. <sigh>
MieMoe came along as well. A lot of vets will discount their prices if you bring in 2-fers, and I'm all about saving money. When it was her turn, everyone came in and oophed and ahhed about how pretty she is, and hw awful her right eye looks. It has been getting progresively more swollen and cloudy over the past few months. I took her in (to my old vet at the time) and she said to watch it, that chataracts etc can cause clouded looking lenses and some swelling. I concede now that I must have misunderstood something along the way.
MieMoe has chronic glaucoma now, and the eye, now that I understand what I'm looking at--looks terrible and is probably "not viable". You can see where her cornea has "collapsed" and it sitting on down in the bottom of her eye. It shows no sign of infection, and she's not in any pain at the moment. Dr Malphrus got us an emergency referral to a specialist who has office hours in greenville once a week, I think. Anyway, we have an appointment to come and wait at 5pm today, and get worked in.
She said there was no telling how long we'd have to wait, and that sorta surprised me. My response was I'd wait till Doomsday with a smile on my face.
He will tell me that the eye can't be saved, and might give us some meds to make sure MM is comfortable until the surgery. Dr Malphrus will do the surgery for roughly half of what the specialist can, and thta's fine with me. I could get MM a prosthetic eys, but that seems cruel to me somehow, so they will close the eye and that will be that. Hypervigilence will be required to catch the other eye, and get treatment, lest the same thing happens to it too.
Some might remember that last back pain episode she had, and my refusal to get neurosurgery for an 11 year old dog. My reasons were many, mostly that she's too old to face that long recovery, with no guarantee that it might be the same afterwards, or worse. This is different. The surgery will be about $500, and the recovery relatively short. Also, the fact that she has a little mini-poodle washing her face and ears every night will ward off infection, etc. Weird...but oddly comforting to me at the same time.
SO-it's not the worst thing that could happen. This post was actually blocked out to report on how well my little redesign business has taken off. All I have to say about this is thank heavens I can pay for the surgery next week, and still be able to live.
MM has been to the wars with me. She knows all my secret and has licked away countless tears, so it's the least I can do.
Please keep my little brown eyed girl in your thoughts. thanks.
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stillh20z
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3:46:56 AM EDT
Because of all the friends I have
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stillh20z
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1:21:49 PM EDT
What I've Been Up To
I am sure by now it's become pretty evident that I'm not posting in my AOL Journal as much as in the past. At first I just needed a break, still making the rounds and keepping tabs on everyone, and later I expanded my online presence (LOL) to include an outside blog called Living Well With Chronic Pain. I was really more interested in creating a target blog toward one specific idea, rather than being sort of all over the place like this one is. Also I wanted to learn more HTML, and play around with Google Adsense, etc. From there, I became interested in all sorts of other things: different blogging platforms and templates, coding and basic website setups URL redirects and maintenance.etc. I've been helping people forever with little things like that regarding web publishing, and all of the sudden, people began asking me to take a look at their websites and see what could be done to make them better.
I was holding my breath, waiting for the Fraud Police to break down the door screaming "We know you don't know what you're doing!"...but they haven't yet, and things are going pretty well.
Here are a few of my online renderings: FM Design-Drywall and VaughnRussellCandy , both are small businesses in my town. I don't have permission as of yet to include them in a public portfolio (live and learn!) but I can show them to you on Squarespace, where I do my basic storyboards. I have two more irons in the fire that are completely different, with loads of artificial intelligence (lol) and flash, extensive catalogues and databases--that I've worked hard on and am really excited about, and when I can show them, you guys will be the first to see! Oh, and there's BasketballJonesette , a little place for me to indulge my March Madness. :)
At any rate, it's good to be busy, and have something to think about besides how bad my back hurts at the moment. I think feeling like you are contributing something is essential to getting through life with a hidden disability, and while it seems like it took me WAY too long to find that one thing that I am pretty good at, enjoydoing, and am mentally and physically capable of-- I am just thankful that I finally stumbled upon It, regardless of how long it took.
Were it not for the love and support I've received here in JLand, I would have just curled up and died a long time ago, and for that I will always be grateful.
So that's that. I hope everyone is having a great day--I've got to go to the post office.
Later Taters :)
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3:15:22 PM EDT
Bill Richardson's Beard
before
after
I saw footage today of Bill Richardson's endorsement of Obama and wll I could think about way "Dang--he looks HOT with a beard!" I spent a goodly ammount of time reflecting on this, wondering if it was a particularly shallow response on my part, or if he really looks that much HOTTER with facial hair? As I often do with the burning issues, I took it tothe Internet and found: Google: Bill Richardson's Beard.
Thank God it's not just me.
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stillh20z
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8:05:48 PM EDT
Feeling Quiet
Those Twisted Sisters O' Mine
While pain makes up the greater part of this journal in one way or another, I am ill prepared to take it away from those I love most. Please continue to drop in on Kathy and Tammy. They do so much in JLand, publicly and even more privately.
Kathy- http://journals.aol.com/onestrangecat/OneSummersDay/entries/2008/03/19/thanks-everyone/2340
Tammy- http://journals.aol.com/memes121/downhome/entries/2008/03/20/good-goobly-goo/2750
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1:08:22 PM EST
Charlie's Free Time
These were taken with a Logitech Webcam, at night. Experimenting with zoom, contrast and color intensity-overall it doesn't take bad pictures.
And yea, Charlie is still with us. He's on his second round of antibiotics and seems to be feeling better- He plays out in the yard with the dogs and loves to race around and climb the nearest available object (which thankfully hasn't been me--yet)but he's still sneezing up some pretty awful goop. I'm hoping that it is as the vet predicted-just a really nasty sinus infection, rather than something stuck up his nose. Rhinoscopy on cats is very difficult because the nares are so tiny and sinuses hard to get to-and expensive. I don't want to have to make that sort of decision as he is a precious little animal and the Gerbies LOVE him to death. Can't say the same about the birds. <sigh>
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