"THE DAWG & BRO SHOW TWO"

5:42:22 PM EST
Hearing StocktonRocker's Tunes


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2:27:09 AM EDT


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1:32:02 AM EDT
While Little Scoot is visiting his Aunt Dotty and Uncle Chub in Missouri...Little Scoot's Aunt Dotty brings a lover home during the day, while his Uncle Chub is at work. Unbeknownst to her, Little Scoot is hiding in the closet. Little Scoot's Uncle Chub comes home unexpectedly, so she puts the lover in the closet with Little Scoot.

Little Scoot says, "Dark in here."
The man says, "Yes it is."
Little Scoot- "I have a baseball."
Man- "That's nice."
Little Scoot- "Want to buy it?"
Man- "No, thanks."
Little Scoot- "My Uncle Chub's outside."
Man- "OK, how much?"
Little Scoot- "$250."

In the next few weeks, it just so  happens that Little Scoot and the Aunt Dotty's lover end up in the closet together again.

Little Scoot- "Dark in here."
Man- "Yes, it is."
Little Scoot- "I have a baseball glove."
The lover, remembering the last time, asks little Scoot, "How much?"
Little Scoot- "$750."
Man- "Fine."

A few days later, the Uncle Chub says to Little Scoot, "Grab your glove. Let's go outside and toss the baseball back and forth."
Little Scoot says, "I can't. I sold them."
Uncle Chub asks, "How much did you sell them for?"
Little Scoot says "$1,000."
Uncle Chub says, "That's terrible to overcharge your friends like that. That is way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you to church and make you confess."

So they go to church and Uncle Chub makes Little Scoot sit in the confession booth and he closes the door.

Little Scoot says, "Dark in here."
The Preacher says, "Now kid don't you start that shit again."



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3:10:45 PM EDT
Hillbilly Ray's leavin a cove, well known for its fishing one day,with two ice chests full of fish when he gets stopped by an Arkansas Game Warden .

The game warden asks Hillbilly Ray, "Do you have a license to catch those fish?"

"No, sir, says Hillbilly Ray, I don't have any of those licenses, no. You must understand these are my pet fish."

Pet fish?" says the game warden.

"Yea says Hillbilly Ray. Every night I take these here fish down to the lake and let them swim 'round for a while. Then I whistle and they jump right back into this ice chest and I take them home."

"That's a bunch of bullshit! Fish can't do that!" says the warden.

Hillbilly Ray looks at the game warden for a moment and then says, "It's the truth Mr. Government man, I'll show you. It really works."

"Okay," says the game warden, " I've GOT to see this!"

So Hillbilly Ray pours the fish into the lake and stands and waits. After several minutes, the game warden turns to him and says, "Well?"

"Well, what?" says the Hillbilly Ray.

The Game Warden says, "When are you going to call them back?"

Hillbilly Ray says, "Call who back?"

"The FISH!" says the warden.

"What fish?" answers Hillbilly Ray.

"Moral to story"...People in Arkansas may not be as smart as some city slickers, but they ain't as dumb as most government employees.

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3:01:33 PM EDT


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2:53:40 PM EDT
Scoot kills a deer one day and brings it home. He decides to clean it, prepare it, and serve the deer meat for dinner. He knows his kids are fussy eaters, and won't eat it if they know what it is, so he doesn't tell them.

His little boy Chance keeps asking him, "What's for dinner dad?"

"You'll see", Scoot replies.

They start eating dinner and his daughter Caleign keeps asking him what they are eating.

"Ok, Ok", says Scoot, "Here's a hint. It's what your mother sometimes calls me."

His daughter Caleign screams..."Don't eat it, Chance!...... It's a fucking asshole...!!!"



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2:42:43 PM EDT

Fresh from her shower, the Dawg's ol lady stands in front of a mirror complaining to the Dawg that her tits are too
     small.

     Instead of  just telling her it's not so,
    the Dawg comes up with a suggestion.

     "If you want your tits to grow he says, then every day take
     a piece of toilet paper and rub it between them for a
     few seconds".

     Willing to try anything,the Dawg's ol lady fetches a piece of toilet paper and stands in front of the mirror, rubbing it
     between her tits.

     "How long will this take?" she asks.

     "They will grow larger over a period of years,"says the Dawg.

     She stops. and says "Do you really think rubbing a piece of
     toilet paper between my tits every day will make my
     tits larger over the years?"

     Without  missing a beat the Dawg says:
     "It worked on your ass, didn't  it?"

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